In his 7 years as Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback, Patrick Mahomes led the Chiefs to 7 straight AFC Championships and 5 Super Bowls. He won 3 Super Bowls. He won 3 Super Bowl MVPs. In Super Bowl 59, Patrick and the Chiefs try to accomplish the Threepeat (winning 3 straight Super Bowls) which has never been done. Maybe if Patrick Mahomes gets the Threepeat, he becomes the next GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) NFL Quarterback, replacing the GOAT Tom Brady. During Tom’s illustrious 23 year NFL career, he won 7 Super Bowls. Still, he never achieved the Threepeat. ESPN First Take Host Stephen A. Smith called Patrick Mahomes, “One of one.” He’s that guy.
NFL MVP Buffalo Bills Quarterback Josh Allen and 2-time NFL MVP Baltimore Ravens Quarterback Lamar Jackson have not beaten Patrick Mahomes in the AFC Playoffs. Neither have made it to the Super Bowl, so far. In his 5th Super Bowl appearance, Patrick could make history, further distinguishing his legacy.
That being said, Josh and Lamar are great Quarterbacks. If they never win a Super Bowl and beat Patrick in the Playoffs, are they less great? No, that simply means Patrick is greater than them. Josh is one of one. Lamar is one of one. They’re just not Patrick Mahomes. Josh and Lamar have to work on themselves. Put their heads down. Put in the work. They become as great as they can be. It’s possible they could beat Patrick Mahomes, and make it to the Super Bowl. That’s up to Josh and Lamar to make that probable. They just train.
I’m not talented and gifted like Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson in what they do. I’m a JAD (Just Another Dude). I just do me. I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do. I’m the greatest that I can be. I’ll never be the greatest, never be the GOAT.
Aikido Founder Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” It’s only me against me. I’m my GOAT opponent. No one else is. I don’t get caught up in comparing myself to others. There are always others who are greater than me. That’s just life. That’s the human design. The only meaningful comparison is me to myself. How far I’ve come from where I started, from my zero. I’m one of one.
When I was 8 years old, Dad scared me to my soul. Whatever I did or didn’t do only made him so angry at me. I never knew which. I knew that I was not the son, Dad wanted. I was his greatest disappointment in life. I would never be good enough for Dad. I would never be good enough for anyone, especially me. I was one of none. I was nobody. I suffered.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism is the source of suffering. My childhood, my past was my source of suffering. Although I can’t do anything about the past. Lady MacBeth said, “What’s done cannot be undone.” The Fourth Noble Truth of Buddhism is the path to end suffering. On my path to end suffering I trained in Aikido, participated in therapy, and became a writer.
In Aikido, I just train. If I defend, I can be defeated. The purpose of the training is to release my fear. The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger. In the danger, I hold my position. I make my timing. I open up myself. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough over, and over, and over again. I free myself. I’m the greatest that I can be in the moment. I’m one of one.
My sensei’s, the late Mizukami Sensei, Ishibashi Sensei, and Hanshi, are all greater than me. They’re my Patrick Mahomes. I will probably not be as great as them. Still, if they can do it, it’s possible I can. I put my head down, put in the work, and work on myself. I’ll never be them, because I’m me. I’m one of one.
I work with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. I forgive Dad for not knowing how to be a father, for being afraid inside too, and for being imperfectly human. I forgive myself for not being strong enough as a little boy to stand up to Dad and protect Mom. I forgive myself for being imperfectly human, too. Others may have had better childhoods than me. Others may have had worse. I have nothing to do with what goes on inside others. I have a say in what goes on inside me. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I’m one of one.
I write about loving and forgiving yourself with my editor Lisa Hickey on the Good Men Project. I share what I write with my friend Michael Phillips, film critic for the Chicago Tribune. Michael is a professional writer. He’s a great writer, greater than me. Michael gives me flowers and direction in refining and improving my writing. He helps me become the greater writer. Michael is one of one. I’m one of one, too. I’m me.
One of one doesn’t have to be the greatest, doesn’t have to be the GOAT. There’s only one of those by definition. We’re often seduced by our comparisons to others. However, the only meaningful comparison is us to ourselves, me to myself. All other comparisons are meaningless bullshit. We work on ourselves, not on others. That’s all I can do. That’s all we can do. The late Mizukami Sensei said, “Just train.” It’s not like I have to get somewhere or be someone else. Neither do you. You’re one of one. Just do you.
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Photo by Danny Lines on Unsplash
Incredible article! The biggest challenge in life is to be the best me! Thank you for the much needed reminder. Comparison is the thrift of joy.
Thank you, Andrea! Be as great as you can be.