Steven Lake has never gotten so much attention, and women keep telling him he’s sexy. Is it because of his beard?
Beards! Yup. Beards have a profound effect on women. This realization is not based on scientific research but on my own personal experience. Until a month ago, I have never had a beard. Oh, I had a goatee when I was an actor in the seventies, but I was in a steady relationship and did not notice any effect in the world.
So here I am in my mid-fifties and growing a beard. Why, you ask? As motivation. Yes, motivation to finish my book. I get to cut off the beard when I finish. Growing a beard is aversive. It itches like crazy and looks . . . well it looks unkempt. The sooner the book is completed the sooner I get to shave.
But, and this is a big but, women love it. I kid you not. Since growing this thing I have had numerous offers for joyous encounters and, without exception, every woman compliments me. “You look sooo good, it really suits you, and you look sexy.” Sexy??? What are they talking about? This is scary stuff. If this gets out I will end up with a reputation – and I may have to live up to it.
It gets worse. Even my wife loves it. I stared at her in disbelief. “You like it?” I exclaimed.
“Yes, it’s sexy.” Oh no, there’s that word again.
“Why?” I asked, scanning the room for a quick exit.
“It makes you look rough and ready,” she said with a lascivious smile crossing her face. Ready for what I’m thinking. I didn’t dare ask lest I have to prove myself right then and there.
Apparently, this rough and ready look is enticing to the opposite sex. This got me to pondering on the factors of attraction in the male female dance of life. I have never had this kind of reaction from my wife or any other women. This has been a shocking experience even if good for the ego. So what is it about the rough and ready look that titillates some women, young and middle-aged alike?
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When I asked this question to my women friends they got this twinkle in their eyes, a little smile on their lips and a knowing laugh. Just the thought of a guy with a beard created electricity in the air. Excitement! That’s it. The old stereotype of women liking dangerous men pops into my head. I begin to think about those male models in print advertising and movie stars who all have a three to five day stubble growing. Now that’s got to be rough to kiss. But those advertising execs must know something. And those movie stars certainly have enough women throwing themselves at their feet.
I think I am on to something. Most men are clean-shaven. Wearing a beard is different. It says you don’t follow the crowd. You are strong enough to chart your own course fashion wise and don’t give a hoot about what the boss thinks. In your mind, you are the boss. Women seem to love men who are confident and know themselves. Maybe you are even a little dangerous, unpredictable even.
Who falls into these categories? Let’s see, there are bikers, pirates, revolutionaries, poets, artists, writers and university professors. University professors! Aren’t they typically staid and totally predictable? Well, maybe not. A brilliant mind and a beard could be a very sexy thing. Just ask all those graduate students who end up in bed with their professors (this still happens despite all the rules and social injunctions against it).
For all the guys out there I just wanted to let you know about the power of the beard. Do not take the beard lightly. It could change your life in at least two meaningful ways. One, you won’t have to shave anymore and you will be able to sleep an extra five minutes every morning. Not bad. Two, you will have to deal with women thinking you are a wild man who will sweep them off their feet and invite them away to some exotic local where you will bring forth their unbridled passion to levels never before experienced. If you want that responsibility – more power to you. I just want to finish my book and get back to boring.
Lead Photo: AP/Matt Sayles
Well as an asian guy I cannot grow beards at all. So I can never be as attractive as guy with beards? Too bad
I’ve had a full beard since I was 15 and shaved it off once. Wife kissed me after I’d shaved it and said no more until it grew back. Daughter and son were in grade school, son didn’t recognize me and my daughter started crying.
Hi name And not all women prefer big thick beards 🙂 Not all women prefer beards at all ! It is silly to say all men look best with beards or to say all men look best clean cut. It is like saying all women look best with long hair, or all women look best without makeup. Or to say all women look best when they let their hair colored when it turns gray. I like well groomed men that smells good.. With beards or not, with lots of body hair or not. A big beard does not make a… Read more »
That sparkle in our eyes and knowing look when you ask a woman why beards are so attractive… we are thinking about how those beards feel against our fufu 😉
Interesting.
See I have a beard, I’ve had one for some time, and I’m thinking of shaving it off because my wife says it’s too pokey against her fufu.
LOVE LOVE LOVE when my husband grows his beard in the Fall and keeps it all Winter. SEXY doesn’t even begin to describe him.
I’ve got a pretty nice beard going on these days, and I have to say it’s doing wonders for me. I get compliments all the time on it, but I agree it is really itchy and so hard not to shave it some days. I’ve decided it will exist until at least the end of November, and then I shall revisit the idea of removing it
Just wanted to point out that not all ethnicities can grow thick beards.
Good point. And even within expected ethnicities there is individual variation. One of my best friends who should stereotypically be able to grow a beard – can’t. He is light skinned and hairless pretty much all over his body. He makes up for it by growing his hair long on his head 🙂
Beards rock. No more razor burn. I wonder if there’s a generational difference with the average woman’s perception of beards? At 40 I find women my age are mixed, but women over 50 are more positive. My sister & her friends (quite a bit younger than me) are negative toward beards. But they’re urban fashion types. Among the vegans I hang out with this doesn’t seem to be the case (of course, some of these women don’t shave their legs, which is fine with me).
We should start an informal survey Dave. The weird thing for me was getting hit up and appreciated by women half my age. Any more thoughts about this from the men and women out there?
I’m certain it is not only the opposite sex that is attracted to beards…I know when I’ve had four or five days of facial hair growth that certain people have remarked how sexy it looks. I fluctuate between liking a clean shave and having some facial hair. Also there is a huge subculture in the LGBT community of men loving men called Bears…many of them resemble Lumberjacks but they all seem to agree on one thing: facial hair and body hair is sexy. Personally, I am NOT a huge fan of beards however, there are some men who do look… Read more »
Oh and I am 33, so yes beard love spans many generations
Thanks Ric for the compliment and the info on “Bears.” I definitely feel more connected to my animal nature when I have beard. I feel more connected to nature and more grounded. Interesting . . .
You’re welcome Steve and congratulations on starting a great conversation but I guess I’ll be the one to also point out that some women also have facial hair…whether or not they shave or wax it…that certain men and women find attractive.
I have always been a fan of beards, I believe most men look better/more attractive with a beard. I save the fella I am with tons of money on expensive razors because I love his red beard.
Since you’re looking for demographic/generational info… I’m 25 and I am definitely in the pro-beard camp.
Interestingly, I was noting to myself a while ago how most of the men I grew up around – father, uncles, family friends, most of whom are late Boomers or early Gen Xers – had facial hair of some kind. So it’s not hard to see what might have influenced my preference. In my eyes, to be bearded is to be a Man. And I feel sympathy for my male friends who have trouble growing beards.