Beware the Darkness That Comes Before

I’m back again to offer you another example of applied humanities! Last time, I pulled some inspiration from the science fiction epic Dune to help you cultivate mindfulness and overcome fear. This time, I’d like you to consider a lesson in personal cause-and-effect from a work of fantasy fiction.

In his novel The Darkness That Comes Before, author R. Scott Bakker created a world rocked by an ancient apocalypse that nearly destroyed humanity. One of the few surviving groups was a sect called the Dunyain. After the end of the world, this group dedicated themselves to the study of logic. This allowed the Dunyain to control themselves and, to some extent, the reactions of other people around them.

One of the key Dunyain principles is awareness of “the darkness that comes before.” This darkness is metaphorical; it represents all the traditions and ideas taught to us by our society. If we adhere unthinkingly to everything we are told by parents, teachers, and others without questioning the origins of the thoughts and beliefs passed down to us, we can become pawns to ideas that are not our own.

Granted, some beliefs we are taught can be benevolent and positive, such as the commitment to serving others. But there is always the chance we might blindly follow a stereotype or bias that limits our understanding of the world, other people, and ourselves.

If you don’t take time to consider the contents of your mind, it’s likely you’ll fall prey to the darkness that came before you. To help you avoid falling into that trap, here’s some advice to aid you in the self-examination process.

Accept Your Emotions, Don’t Resist Them

The novelist Steven Pressfield advises us to let go of Resistance (with a capital “R”), because it can stifle your creativity and personal development. This reminds me of how men are frequently taught to resist emotions. We are told to ignore or deny them because this, supposedly, is “what men do” in order to “be men.”

Emotions are an important means of self-examination for all human beings. Just like physical pleasure or pain, emotions are signals that make us aware of something going on in our minds. Negative (or narrow) emotions in particular can help us find the source of something that is troubling us.

The stereotype of emotionless masculinity is part of “the darkness that comes before” we as men must struggle against. Don’t give in to the darkness that teaches you to suppress or eradicate emotions. This just bottles them inside you, building up emotional pressure until you explode and lash out at the world.

Accept that you are a human being with a full range of feelings. It’s only the socially constructed illusion of emotionless manhood you’ve been taught that’s trying to blind you to the truth of your full humanity. Men can be both stoic and emotional as needed. Feelings aren’t just “feminine,” as some men trapped in limiting beliefs will claim.

Speaking of stoicism, remember to avoid ideologies that try to pass off bitter cynicism as “classical” Stoicism. These ideologies often seek to convince you you’re “better” than other people by being logical, and that you should avoid emotions at all times. But true Stoicism is about embracing emotions in order to put them in their proper place in life, to integrate them as a natural part of daily existence.

Regularly Question Your Beliefs

When I recommend that you question your beliefs, I’m not talking about beating yourself up or undermining your self-confidence. Many men have been taught to treat themselves harshly as a means to improve. But you don’t have to demean or berate yourself because of your thoughts and beliefs, even those that are negative.

For instance, you may find yourself feeling guilty about prejudices you may have harbored in the past. But the path to change is through self-care, not self-flagellation. Be kind to yourself when you decide that a belief you’ve held no longer serves you and those around you. The goal is a positive change. Don’t sour your journey of self-improvement with self-directed anger. Let go of harmful beliefs in order to adopt better ones.

Allow your emotions to direct your inner attention to the thoughts that are making you feel bad. Ask yourself if you arrived at a certain belief independently, or if that belief is something implanted in you by a parent, an authority figure or institution, or perhaps unspoken “rules” blindly perpetuated by your society. Again, this should be done with as much objectivity as possible. Don’t judge yourself. Just focus on the work at hand, and the better beliefs you want to carry into your future.

Ultimately, I want you to take an inner hero’s journey and let go of beliefs that don’t create well-being for yourself and others. Let them go, and replace them with beliefs that are more beneficial to your own potential, and to those around you. Don’t let the darkness that came before you continue to direct your present and future.

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