We refuse to let go of the things outside of ourselves, for fear that if we DO let go…
… we won’t be able to control them.
We seek to control the uncontrollable.
And we love the feeling of control.
In our minds…
Control brings power.
Power brings certainty.
Certainty brings happiness.
Or so we feel.
Without control we feel lost.
We struggle daily to maintain control, power, over our outcomes.
If only we could control everyone else…
If we could control everyone else, to get them to see things our way… to allow them to see we are right, and they are wrong…
If I judge everyone enough…
If I fix everyone enough…
All 7.34 billion people are wrong, and I am right.
And as soon as I fix them… the world will be perfect.
Maybe the problem is not everyone else.
Maybe the problem is in our interpretation and acceptance of everyone else.
Maybe we just consider looking inward…
to control the ONLY things we can control…
Our beliefs, our feeling, our thoughts, our actions, our habits, our character.
Maybe our quest to control everything, everyone else’s actions and behavior through judgment, hate, anger, and guilt is the issue.
We want to control others and “fix” their actions, while ignoring the incompleteness of ourselves.
The pain and suffering inside ourselves.
We struggle to face it.
We are imperfect, but we want everyone else to be perfect.
We excuse our own behavior and make excuses for our indiscretions…
But we hold others to absolutes.
Maybe if we finally faced and controlled ourselves, we would not need to control everyone else.
Consider that all of the challenges you face are within your control… they are inside of you.
And since what we see on the outside is a reflection of what we feel within…
The world heals when we heal ourselves.
You control it all.
But your efforts are spent fixing, correcting, overcoming the wrong challenges…
While others are never your challenge to fix.
It is impossible to fix 7.34 billion people.
They will never all see it your way.
Should you consider just accepting others as they are wired right now?
That just like you, at this very second, they are doing the very best they can?
You are your only challenge to face and fix.
If you are not healing and fully controlling the only thing you DO control, do you really deserve to control anything?
—
This post was previously published on mikekitko.com.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info?
A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Caroline Methoton on Unsplash
