Why Marriage Could Be Great for Men

Men are considered “losers” in marriage.

From a biological standpoint, we give up on our freedom to mate with different women. We tend towards polygamy while marriage is monogamous. Men would also point out the risk of divorce and getting “cleaned out” by a woman.

While all these are valid, there’s one thing men miss.

Single men enjoy the chase and variety

I had a lot of fun chasing women in bars.

I hung out in Tel-Aviv with my friends, some days hitting on everything that moves, hoping to get lucky. I enjoyed the comradery. I enjoyed laughing our asses off night after night. I honestly believe every man should experience that, for a certain period, at some point in his life.

Up until age 31, I didn’t even consider a serious relationship. I didn’t resist the idea — but it wasn’t something I wanted, specifically. I liked meeting different women. Sleeping with one woman only made me desire more women. So the biological drive is real in my experience. In that sense, I don’t think men are built to stick with one woman for their entire life.

However, this sort of lifestyle comes with a price.

Single men also tend to spiral into nothingness

Some of my friends are still living the bachelor’s lifestyle.

I don’t think they are happy though. They barely had a direction in life a few years ago, and it seems like it has only gotten worse. No steady career, no goals, no nothing. Just hitting the gym and the bars. When I lived in a similar fashion, a subtle dissatisfaction slowly took over me. Yes, sex is fun. Hanging out with friends is great. But at some point bars and clubs feel empty.

Marriage functions as a regulation of relationships, emotions, and sex. Married men are limited in that sense, and tend to be happy with what they got.

(assuming they picked the right partner, of course.)

Without this structure, unmarried men tend to become unsatisfied and can spiral into dissatisfaction with life.

Another date, another woman, and more meaningless sex that’s basically a waste of time.

You get to a point where all of this is just bullshit.

You’ve experienced and “experimented” enough — to a point where these goals belong to the past.

This could explain suicide rates among divorced men

I don’t think women need the same sort of regulation as men.

They are just built different.

From a sociological point of view, women lose more than men in marriage.

A study from the year 2000 by Kposowa, A. J. found “the risk of suicide among divorced men was over twice that of married men. Among women, however, there were no statistically significant differentials in the risk of suicide by marital status categories.”

There’s more data to support that argument in the book “Suicide” by Emil Durkheim.

Regardless, I do think the division between men and women in society is mostly brainwashing. Some women feel entitled and want “rich and boss” men. Others don’t want to have kids. At the same time, some men believe they don’t have a chance with women and success is for a select few. Other men believe it’s all about being “alpha” and masculinity means Andrew Tate.

The choice is yours

This is a free world, and you can do as you wish.

If you want to spend your time with different women, great. If you want to get married and settle down, I believe this can also lead to a life you’re happy with.

Whatever you do, I suggest you do it because YOU really want to. Not because some influencer on Twitter told you to do it. Listen to your heart, intuition, or whatever you’d like to call it, and follow it.

This is the only path towards a life you’re happy with.

And if you need more help with getting women into your life, I wrote a whole book about it. It walks you through dealing with rejection, talking to women, dating and developing a relationship with them- without having to be someone you are not.

Get my free ebook, Life Lessons From Getting Rejected By Hundreds Of Women

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This post was previously published on medium.com.