You Must Create Your Own Purpose and Meaning

From this moment on, I want you to stop asking “what is the meaning of life?” It’s an unanswerable question, so you should never ask it again for the rest of your time on Earth.

It is unanswerable because it’s a trick question. There is no one-size-fits-all meaning of life that applies to all human beings exactly. All of us are unique individuals. Just as we should all be given equal respect and dignity universally, we should also be taught from a young age that we must create our own meaning in this life.

So instead, from now on, I want you to ask, “what meaning can I create for my life?” Going forward, you can take charge of the “eternal question,” to make it personal and attainable for you. Never again should you leave your life’s meaning up to chance.

Contrary to what you may have been taught, you are the best determiner of your own meaning. No one—not people or God, “the Universe,” or any aspect of divinity—knows better than you when it comes to this matter. Yes, you can consult secular and spiritual resources for advice regarding meaning and purpose, but the final decision should be yours alone.

The Purpose/Meaning Dynamic

Before you embark on your quest to create your own life’s meaning, let’s be clear on the definition of the word. Let’s also be sure to differentiate between “meaning” and “purpose.” While those terms are often used interchangeably, they are indeed different things (though they are related to each other, as we’ll explore below).

According to positive psychology expert Carin Rockind, purpose is “the active way you uniquely impact the world.” It is the actions you take to accomplish goals that benefit others in some way. Purpose gives us direction and a sense of achievement.

We can have multiple purposes throughout our lives. Some purposes are overarching and never-ending, such as “treat others with kindness.” Some are time-sensitive, such as finishing work on a specific project.

We may not always be successful in the pursuit of our purposes, but nobility and honor is found in the ongoing commitment to a positive impact on the world. Just because we stumble doesn’t mean we should quit the race.

Meaning is what we build through the pursuit of purpose. It is the feeling of accomplishment and positive self-perception you gain from helping others, as well as the belief you are a part of something larger than yourself. Driven by our innate desire to belong, the feeling we are connected to other human beings is a huge contributor to a positive sense of meaning.

With those distinctions in place, here’s some advice as you make your own purpose and meaning.

The “No Pressure” Principle

Above all, don’t pressure yourself to discover purpose and meaning. If you’re not sure about either aspect of life, take your time. Consider what you’re passionate about in this world. How can you take your interests and use them to take action to benefit the world?

A good way to uncover purpose and meaning is to think about your strengths. To help with this, you can take the free, science-based VIA Character Strengths Survey. This self-assessment helps you identify the common personality traits toward which you gravitate the most. We all possess the potential to express all human traits, but all of us have traits toward which we gravitate in particular.

Also, remember that your purpose(s) and meaning don’t have to be earth-shattering. You don’t have to try and “save the world” in some grandiose way. If your overarching purpose is to be a hard-working employee or a loving parent, that’s up to you. Do what feels right and fuels your sense of meaning. But if you do have dreams of making a big impact, go for it.

The worst thing you can do is stress over purpose and meaning; that’s a sure-fire way to sabotage your sense of fulfilment.

Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Motivation

Be sure that the motivations behind your pursuit of purpose and meaning are intrinsically motivated. This means they should come from your genuine passions and personal interests.

Don’t build your purpose and meaning on foundations created by others, i.e. extrinsic motivations. Don’t do things because you believe they are expected of you, or because you feel you “have to” in order to please others. Yes, you can complete tasks given to you by an employer, but that’s achievement of extrinsic goals. If you have an honestly intrinsic connection to your employer’s mission, that’s good. But don’t feel pressured to force your job’s task into becoming a purpose in your life.

Yes, you can and will benefit others through pursuit of purpose, but don’t sacrifice your needs either. This doesn’t mean being selfish; it means you are simultaneously taking care of yourself so you can do your best to support the world around you.

Successful pursuit of purpose and meaning also don’t have to result in money or fame, either. If they do incidentally, that’s okay. But material wealth and acclaim don’t last nearly as long as the satisfaction of finding your place in the world.

Purpose, Meaning, and the Heroic Mindset

The pursuit of purpose and the desire for meaning are often integral to the hero’s journey. Characters in heroic stories are frequently uncertain, directionless, and plagued by the seeming meaninglessness of their existence. That is, until they embark on their adventures. Through the journey, they gain the skills and knowledge to take control of their lives, create purpose, and forge new meaning for themselves.

Taking altruistic risk to help others taps into our evolved need to be a part of a community. Research shows how quality social connections lead to better overall personal and societal health. An incredible way to build such connections is through service. So, try giving some of your time and help to others. This is one of the keys to creating purpose and building your meaning.