The car turns over in excitement and it is anxious with the desire to warm it’s true being. The automatic sifter almost feels like a stick shift in a 67 mustang with a Hurst 3 speed sifter. I can feel the cars passion to fulfill my deepest thirst for knowledge.
Silently wishing I was a car with a clearly defined objective each and every day. I am jealous of a 2008 semi luxury car. It is truly as sad as it sounds. Maybe today I can set myself a clear definition?
It takes putting the car in reverse and to turn my head to look at my rear window.
It is funny because I think to myself that looking in my own rear view window of my own life has started me down a course of trying to better myself. School and learning to overcome my fear of social interaction. I turn my head and notice the marks and paint stains on the back seat. I think, wow you too!
The car shifts into a pavement eating machine that wants to explore more open road than I can contemplate. It always scares me to think that I get over 32 miles to the gallon in this car. If I fill the tank I could be in a entirely different state in little over 4 hours.
I always have to negotiate with my fear of new things and insatiable need to discover new places and cultures.
I used to be so bold, I would shift and move with the energy of a Road Runner in a Acme wonder film. The pleasure to be the one person who understands a professor when they talk about the detriment or ripple effects of childhood abuse.
The looks on those others who cannot fathom the possibility that these crimes exist outside of a SVU episode. There is no Olivia or Ice T character in day to day life so we as survivors have to take up the mantle and that means take my sorry butt to school.
This thought is the final motivation to finally put the car in reverse, look out the window, and drive away from security.