—
It can be scary to speak our truth. Not everyone wants to hear it or will appreciate or value it. Yet if there’s something that you know needs to be shared, then it does no good at all to hold back. Particularly so, when that holding back is based on fear of rejection.
Our truth bubbles up from within, longing to be expressed and heard. Yet it must be acknowledged by us first and foremost. We are the ones who most need to honour it.
We sometimes shy away from this because we know our truth-telling may require us to change something about ourselves or our environment. That change can seem too big or too scary. It may require us to be more vulnerable than we feel capable of being.
Avoiding our truth leads to listlessness.
Yet when we don’t speak that truth – especially to ourselves; our energy stagnates. We begin to feel listless, without direction and powerless. These energies do not sit right with us. In our essence, we’re naturally vibrant beings. So to pretend that we’re powerless feels inauthentic and draining. It is only when we actively suppress our truth that we start to identify with this false perspective.
What’s needed is for us to look at who or what, we’re trying to protect. What status quo are we hoping to maintain when we avoid speaking our truth? What responsibility for another’s happiness are we taking on? Which fears are we pandering to? These are the same fears that don’t bring us answers or give solutions but do keep us locked into an illusory safety.
Through accepting our needs and listening to our deepest truth, actions naturally arise from within that honour us. We don’t need to become defensive, aggressive, churlish or belittling. Rather, we can exude an inner strength that makes no one else wrong.
Set clear boundaries.
This inner strength is capable of setting clear boundaries. Yet it is the setting of those boundaries that we may fear the most. For then we are called upon to maintain and uphold those boundaries if or when; they’re challenged.
This boundary setting requires tapping into our inner strength again and again. There has to be real self-awareness and a willingness to check in with ourselves on a regular basis. Asking often: “Is this still true for me? Does this still feel like my truth?”
Once we’re able to state a definite yes, then we’re in our truth. We now know that failing to uphold our boundaries only causes us feelings of listlessness, defensiveness and powerlessness.
When we each speak our truth lovingly and with clear intent, then long-held resentments can be resolved. When only one party does this, then that party must tap into their inner strength. They must continue to set clear boundaries which then causes the other party to hold themselves accountable for their actions.
In this way, our truth-telling can be a beautiful gift from one to another. Understanding and speaking our truth with loving intent can be the most powerful gift we can give. It is a disservice to ourselves and others when we don’t own and honour that.
Speak, listen and share with loving intent. Then your truth-telling will be mutually empowering.
***
What’s Next? Talk with others. Take action.
We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join below!
RSVP for Intersectionality Calls
—
Join the Conscious Intersectionality FACEBOOK GROUP here. Includes our new call series on Human Rights.
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.
Register New Account
Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request new password if needed).
◊♦◊
ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. MEMBER commenting badge.
***
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
***
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
♦◊♦
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
—
This post is republished on Medium.
—
Photo credit: iStock