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I used to think love was equated to carrying another person’s burdens, on some level this is true. You should have compassion for your partner, you should desire to help them. Knowing what’s your stuff to own is vital. Knowing what is yours to carry will allow for you to not be susceptible to mind games and being an emotional bandaid for someone who refuses to look inward. You deserve better than being someone’s emotional bandaid so that they can feel better about existing. Hurt people hurt people as the saying goes. The only way to be victorious over toxicity is to not participate in it. Being able to compartmentalize, and say hey, this is mine, this is yours, let’s meet in the middle is one of the things that define partnership. You should find a person who loves you enough to help you unpack, for sure. However, it is not your responsibility to carry the weight of someone’s lack of self-love. You can’t be everything to that person. Healing is their responsibility. You can help them sort out how they are going to do this but you can’t force them to drink in wellness. Healing and growth are both individual choices.
Your power lies within
Your power lies in what YOU decide to do about your reality. Your power lies in what you will no longer allow because YOU love yourself enough to stand up for yourself and go after what you truly deserve. Don’t allow someone who is in your space to own their sh*t so that they no longer have to look at it because they trust you to carry it. Be brave enough to send all of the bags of their projected issues, hang-ups, and wounds back to the person that they belong too. Release the weight. The responsibility of carrying their own stuff is their’s and their’s alone. Be the type of person that makes the burdens lighter. Bring love and bravery into the lives of others. Don’t take sh*t. Be kind enough to draw the line in the sand. Be compassionate enough to say: I love myself and I will not own these things for you. Bless and Release them. Set them free to do their own work. When you let go, you give the other person, the opportunity to do the work on themselves. Shift how you think about a situation or a person and just watch how quickly things align for you.
Don’t stop, get it, get it.
Trust the timing and the magic of belonging to yourself and no one else. When someone gives you a box of darkness, know that it’s not yours. Accept the gift for as long as it serves you and then send it back with a loving heart. Don’t wait for the applause, acceptance, compliments from another person to be HAPPY that YOU are YOU. Live for the moments that get you EXCITED about being you. Live for the people that love you without an excuse, the desire to search for flaws, or making you feel low so they can be higher. Don’t fall for the trap and accept this type of behavior from anyone. Level up in every area of your life. These types of situations and people will always test your worth. Express yourself, you don’t have to take what someone is giving out. Finally, you can rise above via knowing your worth and not settling.
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