Feeling superior often comes from feeling inferior and afraid.
We convince ourselves we are better than others when we fear we are not enough, or not okay.
Bringing awareness to the ways we imagine we are better than others…
More conscious, more evolved, more considerate, more attractive.
Less rude, less impactful, less reactive, less superficial.
Is bringing awareness to the places in which we may lack awareness of our own self-worth and inherent safety.
The places we feel we need to prove or protect ourselves.
The places our fears and shadows lie.
The places we are avoiding pain.
The places that are inviting our awareness of the love that we are, and of how safe we truly are.
Superiority is a form of projection that allows us to avoid facing our shadows and fears.
That allows us to avoid facing our pain.
But it is in facing our shadows, in facing our pain, that we free ourselves from the prison of insecurity.
From the prison of superiority.
From the illusion that we are not safe.
From the illusion of separation.
An example of my process of exploring my shadow, allowing the pain, and responding with love…
I am judging her as less considerate than me.
This may imply an insecurity about the ways I consider others.
Perhaps I know deep down that I am not as considerate as I pretend to be, and I’m afraid to face this part of me.
Perhaps I fear that I am not choosable as a partner, as a close friend, and my inconsiderate ways will lead me to be alone.
Perhaps I feel, on some level, that my gestures of consideration are very selfish in nature, and I judge myself for this.
Or maybe I feel that I over-extended myself and neglect my own needs through my consideration of others.
Maybe I am afraid I don’t know how to consider others in healthy ways.
I notice that the thought that I am more considerate than her doesn’t feel very good in my body.
It is painful to separate myself from her by imagining I am better than her.
I imagine she is reflecting a part of me, so in judging her as not enough, I am judging this part of myself as not enough.
This internal feeling of separation is incredibly painful when I really let myself feel it.
Throughout this process, as I rest in my heart, I may experience emotional release.
Tears may flow as I feel the deep pain I experience through identifying with my thoughts of separation.
I am crying right now as I write this.
I am holding compassionate space for this pain to be felt and integrated.
I am reminding these parts of me that they are lovable, just as they are.
That they are love, no matter what.
That they are safe with me.
I am continuing to cry as I feel this pain and love.
The two become one as I allow myself to feel, to “heal.”
As I remember that I am whole, complete, okay, safe, lovable, in each and every moment, regardless of the commentary of my thoughts.
Much of this process unfolds without thoughts or words.
This is my attempt to put words to a process I experience as largely energetic.
It is a process of self-reflection, allowing of feelings, and knowing myself as love that I may experience largely through sensation.
Through living in my heart and touching into the beauty of who I really am.
A version of this post was originally posted on TroyCohen.Wordpress.com and is republished here with permission from the author.