Some of the worries you might have when you find out your girl is pregnant are:
What happens if we break up?
Will it affect our child?
What if I want to have sex with other people in the future?
What if we get bored?
These are all very valid and reasonable concerns.
Obviously you want to believe that you will continue in your relationship with your partner and child for years to come…
But the reality is that another 60 years is a long time…
And not to say that it can’t be done—of course, it can be,
But if you’re in your teens or 20’s and you’ve been in a relationship with your girlfriend for a couple years then the thought of being with this person for the rest of your life may be a daunting one…
With these things in mind here are a few ideas to think about:
1. Having a baby will definitely put a new pressure on your relationship – but nothing that can’t be managed if you are willing to learn new skills such as:
- Time management
- Controlling stress
- Staying grounded
To name a few…
2. Breaking up with the mother of your child is not the end of the world and won’t necessarily have a long-lasting negative effect on your kids – as long as the breakup is not traumatic.
To help minimize how traumatic it is, have the conversation early on…
And I don’t mean straight after you read this post … or tomorrow …. but choose a time that is appropriate, when you are both in a good mood and talk about what you would prioritize if you were to break up.
…just in case.
The main things to talk about:
- Not to use your child against each other. This is so important. There is no benefit from doing this at all, for any party.
- Understanding that children need both parents as much as each other and purposefully creating distance between them is detrimental to your child
Relationships are always different and there is no way of telling how you will actually act when you are emotionally strained through a breakup but having a couple of agreements like these will help.
3. When it comes to having sex with other people…
There are many, many possibilities and areas for exploration when having sex and being intimate with one person.
What you might lack in ‘notches in your belt’ you will make up in a deep and spiritual connection with one person.
If you are willing to put in the time and effort of learning new ways to be intimate with your partner then you shouldn’t get bored.
4. Try and live in the moment.
As much as your logical mind wants to take over, at the end of the day if you are happy in your relationship NOW then embrace it and tackle life’s challenges together when they arise.
Be willing to embrace the challenge and become ready to go on the journey.
Previously published on The Boss Dad Movement