My business partner and I were sweating in an un-air-conditioned studio apartment in LA on a rare 95-degree day. We were in the middle of filming a low-budget web series shoot. The type of shoot where you curse the fact you agreed to it, but after some reflection, you realize how much fun it was.
The gorgeous actress whose apartment we were filming in (She’s now a series regular on a huge network show, ayyy!) was moving empty bottles of champagne off her fireplace mantle out of our filming frame.
Each bottle of champagne bottles had a sharpie written note on it as a reminder of what was celebrated and the date the popping of the bottle occurred.
Some of the celebrated events included arriving in Los Angeles, the bookings of a few television roles, getting an agent, etc;
I turned to my business partner, momentarily mistaking the tears rolling down her cheek as sweat. She quickly wiped them away and re-adjusted a light.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She paused, “I don’t remember the last time I celebrated anything I accomplished. I don’t celebrate anything. And that really sucks.”
…
When I finished my coaching certification, it wasn’t until the third person asked me how I was going to celebrate that I realized I hadn’t thought about it.
The memory of my old business partner flooded my brain. I became aware that I was in a constant state of climbing my mountain. I wasn’t taking enough time to stop, admire the view, and thank myself for making the trek in the first place.
It felt absurd to me I hadn’t thought about how I was going to celebrate this six-month journey I endured. Six months of embracing the learning process of an entirely new skill. Not only showing up to class but countless hours of pre-work, homework, and peer and pro-bono sessions.
I had committed hard to this… and I hadn’t even thought to give myself a chance to pat myself on the back and be proud of my efforts and achievement.
I pondered why this happens. It’s not a resistance to celebrating, I love a good celebration with a bottle of cheap champagne. It’s truly the lack of thought for there to even be a celebration, or something worthy of a celebration.
Almost as if there’s nothing to celebrate.
…
We only want to celebrate when we reach the top of the mountain
We have the top of our mountain in our sights. We keep climbing; we keep reaching, we’ll feel better once we get there. We’ll feel proud, relieved, accomplished once we’re sitting at the top.
To me, graduating with my certificate was great, but now the real hard work begins. Planning my business, marketing for clients, setting up my group coaching, etc;
Since we’re not where we want to be yet, we forget to stop every once in a while and admire the view. And thank ourselves for climbing this high already. We need to appreciate all the small steps which are small victories. It’s not just about arriving at the top.
The small steps are incredibly important and defining moments of our lives.
These are the steps that actually have moved the needle of our progress. These are the steps that took a large amount of quiet confidence to do. We need to celebrate when we complete a phase of our journey and the steps it took to complete it.
The journey of starting my coaching business is one with endless phases. I had completed phase one by getting my certification. And that was more than enough reason to celebrate.
…
We’re always looking forward and moving on to the next
I used to feel this way with voice-over or acting jobs. It was like… cool, I put a bunch of hard work and effort into getting this job. I booked it. And what’s next?
Everyone was always asking me what I were doing next. It was like I didn’t have a second to breathe and appreciate the success that just happened. I could be on set for a project I just booked and asked what I was working on after this. What was happening next for me.
We need to take every single one of these accomplishments and value them and what they’re bringing into our lives. We need to appreciate them as they’re happening. We need to pause and stop thinking forward for just a second. Long enough to bask in the small step that was taken.
I feel this way after I complete writing an article. I take a moment to appreciate the time I spent writing the article and what it’s given back to me. Before just moving on to the next.
Life is not always just about what’s next. It’s about truly embracing the moment of being exactly where you are and the meaning behind it becoming part of your narrative.
Give yourself a moment to bask in all that got you to here and how cool it is that you are here right now. Celeberate right now.
…
It’s not just about the end outcome, it’s about the evolution
My parents own racehorses — -we have this win-or-lose mindset — obviously when they win we all celebrate. But over the last few years, they started celebrating progress. It feels weird to celebrate when you’re not in the winner’s circle. But they started toasting to progress. Good feedback from the jockey, certain things that were improved upon from the last race.
It’s not about the end product, it’s about the progress. It’s not just about the outcome, it’s about the evolution.
Celebrate every step of progress, celebrate moments where you can see the evolution. Celebrate on your way to a finished product and your desired outcome.
…
Reward yourself often
Tim Denning gives himself a reward after every writing session — like a dog with a treat.
It’s not the same as popping a bottle of champs, but has the same sentiment. He even visualizes the reward while he works. We should visualize the celebration as we put in our blood, sweat, and tears.
Your reward can be a mini celebration. My boyfriend and I have a standing happy hour date every Friday. I usually use it as a mini celebration for my week. Hey, I survived. And shit, look at all the small steps that I took! Look at all that I accomplished!
Every small step is another step towards the top of your mountain. Every small step counts and is a necessary part of your journey. You should reward every small step you take.
…
You must thank yourself
For the hard work, bravery, courage, tenacity, and grit. For choosing to take another small step. For choosing to continue climbing the mountain.
We thank someone else when they’ve helped us achieve something, so we must thank ourselves when we’ve done the same.
We must celebrate the steps we took. We must celebrate all the times we burst out of our comfort zone and make change happen.
We must stop on our mountain and take time to admire how far we’ve climbed and when we’ve reached a new phase of elevation.
Dress your fireplace mantle with discarded champagne bottles that display your accomplishments.
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Take-Aways
Each small step you take is another victory. Each small step is a necessary part of your journey.
It’s not just about the final outcome, it’s about your evolution.
As you’re climbing your mountain, remember to stop and notice the view. Thank yourself for the climb you’ve endured thus far.
As you’re busy looking forward to tomorrow, don’t forget to celebrate the right here and now.
I hope the champagne in your city goes out of stock from how many bottles you pop.
…
Maddie is a writer, voice-over artist, and certified life coach. Self-declared boxed wine aficionado.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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