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Actually Vicky, my less than polite response earlier was put into moderation and deleted, hence the “Family Friendly” version you see now. Vicky: “I don’t think people realize how detrimental those “better safe than sorry” attitudes can be.” It’s also irritating that these attitudes are tolerated so much if its men handling children or interacting with them in any setting. Whereas women are given leeway to interact in whatever way, shape or form, with children in any setting they choose and are free of suspicion. And you know what, it pretty much enforces the sexist stereotype that “Women are natural… Read more »
@d.d – Thanks for the intro. I look forward to reading your comments in the future. @Eagle34 – I guess one of us had to take the high ground :). You’re right that attitudes like that can limit men’s choices. Part of the problem is that this way of thinking is seen as common sense. The only way I can think of to combat it is to call people out on it and let them know that it’s unacceptable. I don’t think people realize how detrimental those “better safe than sorry” attitudes can be. Not only was the old man… Read more »
Okay, I’ll be a little more polite.
It’s articles and commentators like those in the link that make men turn away from helping out with child care.
um, hey, i just thought I’d stop by to say hi because i’ve been reading this blog for a while and think it’s awesome. So as an introduction of sorts? I’m a 29-year old, male-bodied person of ambiguous gender-identity and sexuality. I guess I could call myself “genderfluid” if that word didn’t always make me think of some kind of lubricant… anyway the point is, I’ve always been vaguely uncomfortable with the whole male gender role and it’s restrictiveness, I’ve spent a lot of my life struggling with expectations that come with being seen as male, and this blog (among… Read more »
http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/how-spot-child-predator-03536?trk=digest_editorial_3536&email_enc=nsOhzdyYotvYx9bL06bCoqVixafY&email_src=1336224613c3dd6493d04ef6504b5e9754f5ef468btemplate_name=digest_weekly_2&subject_id=a958b8cb98ed3e79a62583d6dc4359f9%3A0&has_fb=1#
Yet another article saying that men can’t be trusted around children. This woman had absolutely no evidence that the man had done anything wrong, she just treated him like Schroedinger’s child molester.
@ik:
I tend to be, increasingly so. I think it’s connected to the amount of friends and family having kids who are approaching their teens.
Or maybe I’m misunderstanding your question?
I kind of wonder, among the fairly liberated but not necessarily feminist population, how many people really get alienated by sexualization aimed at the other gender. Obviously the answer is not “very few”, “should be zero” , or “only the ones who choose to be offended.” But I still wonder how offensive people actually find it and how it varies for different styles of sexualization.
Dvärghundspossen: If one defines “selfish” as “pursuing one’s well-being with no regard for other people’s feelings” or something along those lines, which seems to be what people have in mind when they condemn suicide by calling it “selfish” (they think the person committing suicide only cares about escaping his/her personal pain, while he/she doesn’t care about the people he/she leaves behind), I and Danny don’t agree that suicide is selfish. Pretty much. In my experience most people that call something/someone selfish they do so with a negative connotation, rather than just a basic acknowledgement that said person did what they… Read more »
I’ve never understood the “suicide is selfish” argument. Someone using this argument is essentially saying that the suicidal person’s pain is less valuable and less deserves to be addressed than their own. Yeah, nothing selfish about that.
@L: If you define “selfish” as “doing what you want”, the sentence “everybody is selfish” becomes pretty pointless. It becomes, in the words of Popper, impossible to falsify.
If one defines “selfish” as “pursuing one’s well-being with no regard for other people’s feelings” or something along those lines, which seems to be what people have in mind when they condemn suicide by calling it “selfish” (they think the person committing suicide only cares about escaping his/her personal pain, while he/she doesn’t care about the people he/she leaves behind), I and Danny don’t agree that suicide is selfish.
@Danny: Everything we do is selfish. Everything is framed in the context of “want” or “don’t want” unless we are physically made to do something–and I don’t mean being held at gunpoint, because that’s still “I want to live instead of get shot”–but rather if someone, using physical force, manipulated your person into doing something against your will. Like, say, sticking your hand in a pot of boiling water. Yes, suicide is selfish. @asfaltkatt: Uh, definitely yes? A lot of geek stuff is sufficiently well-known and mainstream enough now to not have to rely to heavily on sexualization of characters… Read more »
Regarding earlier discussions about Manly Menz diets and eating habits:
Read a story in a local newspaper that referenced an MIT study on mice about diet, overweight and health issues. A somewhat surprising side effect was that including yoghurt in the diet led to a 5-10% growth in testicle size among the male, and also an increased “cockiness” in their behaviour. The yoghurt-eating mice, both the female and the male, were also reported as having more intercourse and producing more offspring than their counterparts.
Unfortunately, there was no links och reference to the actual study. Anyone know anything about this?
I have no logic, sorry! 😀
Kent State redux
http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/2012/05/may-4th-this-day-in-history.html
Assorted
http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/2012/05/cinco-de-mayo.html
Bob Jones University Alumni Call for New Transparency in Wake of Recent Expulsion
http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/2012/05/bob-jones-university-alumni-call-for.html
Yeah, pointless sexualization can be make everything prettypathetic. It’s more a matter of context and degree , but it’s easy to go from “wow, their pretty sexy… ” to just facepalming all around. I think both genders want some pointFUL sexualization, generally. Unless the tone of a work is specifically pornographic, there is a limit to what should appear unjustified.
@Blackhumor:
Yeah, that’s probably better.
@Fnord: How about, fewer objectified women and less pointless sexualization all around? All while not cutting into any sexualization that actually carries its own weight.
@asfaltkatt: Yes, definitely! I for one would love that. (Although I am perhaps not representative of society as a whole, haha.) At the risk of being gunned down, I have to say, this is the one thing that the Twilight franchise is doing right. It’s showing men as objects of desire. Women don’t get that a lot so when it does come along, we grab for it, even if it’s all wrapped up in idiotic sparkles and related through the eyes of the wimpiest protagonist of all time. We simply don’t have any mainstream alternatives for male eyecandy. I would… Read more »
“fewer chain mail bikinis, fewer submissively sexualized women & more sexualized men”
One of these things is not like the others…
I don’t think it would be unreasonable to say it should have fewer sexualized characters, gender notwithstanding.
I love that image, it made me smile.
I’ve been following this discussion
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?624898-5e-Dragon-s-Eye-View-Sexism-in-Fantasy/page55
which has taken a surprising turn recently, and felt like asking the question to a different audience:
Should D&D books (if you’re not familiar with the Dungeons and Dragons games, replace it with superhero comics, action movies or any other pop culture phenomenon you feel fits) be redesigned with fewer chain mail bikinis, fewer submissively sexualized women & more sexualized men to appeal to a more diverse audience/not offend women? How should it be done? Is that what female gamers want? Is that what male gamers want?
Fun observation: In Space Opera, books with female main characters usually covers that are in line with the books themselves (see the Honor Harrington or Vatta’s War series), but with male-centered ones, they just HAVE to have a manly-man gun-toting marine type on the cover, no matter what the book’s about. The latest Lost Fleet book brought this to mind: http://www.amazon.com/The-Lost-Fleet-Dreadnaught-ebook/dp/B004Q7DOV0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1336231002&sr=8-3 That dude never once holds a gun in the entire series! He barely leaves the bridge of his flagship! Why do you guys think that is? I mean, of course women protagonists get the sexy thing thrust on their… Read more »
Kristine its not so much is the selfishness but is it selfishness in the first place. If we were talking about someone moving cross country for a job despite family and friends wanting them to stay would that person be called selfish for moving for the sake of their career? (No I’m not trying to minimize death and say it like taking on a new job, I’ve only been up for about 30min so its the first thing I thought of.)
@Danny: So what if it’s selfish? Selfishness isn’t necessarily bad.
@Rubarb: Good point. It SHOULD be the case that sex and love is accepted when it’s consensual for everyone involved, whether it’s a choice or an orientation. But perhaps branding something as an orientation IS the easiest way to get acceptance. @Dorkboy: I’ve met people like that too, and they’re really problematic. It’s hard enough already to acknowledge and talk about problems in relationships that don’t conform to society’s norms – it’s so easy to become defensive of one’s lifestyle when it’s under attack. The existence of “evangelics” certainly don’t help. Regarding suicide, I think it’s bullshit to say that… Read more »
ik: @Danny: Not 100% sure it was a good idea to publish that. It occurs to me that it could be a cockatrice for people already having suicidal thoughts. Though subjectively, I absolutely see your point. Besides the whole dying thing. Yes it is entirely possible. I start the post off with this, (I’m talking about suicide here. Tread carefully.) And also that post was written by someone who has had suicidal thoughts at a time when those thoughts were actively going on and shortly after hearing some friends talk about suicide being a selfish act. I mainly just want… Read more »