What do you think of when you hear the phrase ’bulletproof man’? Does it conjure up images of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson from Fast and Furious? Does it make you think of someone who is invincible, stoic, unaffected by emotions, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
There has been a lot of talk around and on and social media on the topics of masculinity, toxic masculinity, and red pill behavior. There is a lot of confusion and debate around what it means to be a man, let alone a bulletproof one.
So let me tell you what it’s not. Being a bulletproof man is not the same as red pill. It’s not about asserting your place and dominance in the world, in relationships, or over others. It’s not about being alpha, arrogant or superior. It’s not about demanding what you want, macho-ism, or aggressively asserting your status. It’s not even about being the king.
Many men in the red pill tribe would claim, that men should be men (strong, assertive, dominant, alpha), and women should be women (feminine, soft, submissive, wanting to be ‘taken’). Some red pill men would even go as far as to say they should “game” their wives. This, as far as I am concerned, is mostly bs.
Red pill got it right, in that deep change comes from the inside out. The ‘pill’ is internalized, your mind is opened and life is never the same. But they got it wrong in the delivery.
What I don’t like about red pill, is that it’s all about what a man wants, what he’s entitled to have and willing to take, too often disguised as being masculine and strong.
What I am suggesting, is not to be red pill, but to be bulletproof. To be a bulletproof man, to me, is all about how you show up, how you shape up, and how you stand up in the world.
It’s about ‘being’. It’s about who you are, not what you want. It’s about showing up as the real you – authentic, honest, vulnerable, raw.
I was brought up in the old school generation of parenting, where we were taught that real men drink beer, work hard, and never show weakness. Emotions were the domain of women.
So boys learned to suppressed emotions, and no matter what, don’t show weakness. And god forbid, if you cry, you were considered a ‘pussy’.
Consequently, a whole generation of men grew up not knowing how to regulate emotions, let alone maintain healthy relationships. The divorce rate skyrocketed. Many men were depressed, angry and confused, or weak, passive, nice guys. There were a few who got through in relatively good shape, but they were the exceptions.
And so rose up movements like red pill, where men are trying to reclaim their masculinity. You know the story.
But alongside red pill, is rising another movement of men. These are the ‘awakened men’, who realize that something else is needed. I like the term ‘bulletproof man’. They are bulletproof, in that whilst the notion of masculinity may be under fire, they stand strong, with a clear head, soft heart, and awakened soul.
They don’t have all the answers, but they are seeking. These types of men are firm, yet kind, vulnerable yet trusting, tough yet teachable, confident yet humble, open yet aware. They get this way through self-awareness and humility.
These men are not without weakness, yet seek to better themselves. They know how to give and receive, how to love and be loved. They are not perfect, yet they seek the best.
Bulletproof men do not operate out of secret or hidden agendas. They don’t pretend to be strong men, who are really still boys trying to take back what they lost.
Bulletproof men have full respect for the women in their lives, treat them as equals, and love them fiercely. They are courageous enough to open up, show up and shape up, to speak their minds through their heart.
The urban dictionary states that to be bulletproof, means to be able to withstand the negative emotional and mental aspects of life; includes relationships, friends, family and drama in general. But that’s only half the story.
It’s one thing to withstand negativity, but it’s quite another to proactively create and build yourself into a man who is courageous, honest, authentic, kind, emotionally available, awake and in alignment with your purpose, passion and who you are.
These are the types of characteristics that in my book, make you a bulletproof man.
Whether you agree with the conversations being had or not, at the very least, we are bringing issues to the surface that have been lingering in the shadows for too long, on both sides of the masculine/feminine fence.
I still believe the balance has not yet swung back to centre, but I believe it will. Men need women and women need men. We need each other. As Steven Covey so cleverly put it, seek to understand before being understood.
Men CAN be men, without being douchebags.–
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