These Four Qualities in a Partner Will Make the Relationship Journey Much Smoother

It doesn’t matter who you are with, or who you are dating. There is one universal truth when it comes to human beings.

None of us is ever going to be perfect.

When I was younger I constantly ruled out dating prospects if I began noticing their “flaws” even though I had more than my fair share of them myself.

Fast forward a decade or so to where I am about to spend the rest of my life with my partner. I absolutely adore my fiance and consider him to be my favorite person in the whole world. That being said, I am still able to acknowledge that just as I do, he has his flaws.

Although absolute perfection isn’t something that you should strive towards, there are qualities in a partner that will help your relationship and your life together flow much easier.

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#1. Being willing to admit that you made a mistake

There is nothing more frustrating than when someone says that they are sorry but phrases it so that they are simply saying sorry that you feel the way you feel.

Many years ago I was on my fourth or fifth date with a seemingly nice man that I had met online. We decided to take a camping trip one weekend and went to the store to get some supplies before heading out. After going through self-checkout he cheekily revealed that he had stolen some of the kitchen supplies. I was absolutely horrified but instead of returning the items, or admitting that it was the wrong thing to do, he tried justifying his behavior.

Needless to say, that was a dealbreaker for me, but what stood out the most from the experience was that there had been absolutely no willingness to admit that he had made a mistake.

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#2. Being secure in who you are and what you bring to the table

One of my friends, Sarah seemed outgoing and confident when I first met her but as time has gone on, that appears to not be the case.

It turns out that Sarah struggles with insecurity and it is something that is brought up both with friends and in her relationship. When we are out Sarah will constantly talk about how much she dislikes her body. If her boyfriend is around he will constantly compliment her which makes Sarah extremely uncomfortable.

After a few months, her boyfriend has stopped giving her constant compliments because she disputes every single one, or says that he is wrong. For Sarah, it is exhausting because she wants to be secure in herself, and for her boyfriend, it is difficult because she isn’t secure in who she is or what she is bringing to the relationship.

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#3. The ability to be whole when you are apart from each other

For the last few weeks, my partner was traveling for work and due to our extremely busy schedules, we had very limited time to connect.

Was it difficult? Yes in the sense that I always miss him when we are apart. But I also really enjoyed spending time with friends and getting some very rare alone time to myself.

When I was younger it was always a struggle to be apart from the person I was dating because I struggled with codependency and didn’t want to be alone.

I have realized that it is healthy to love someone and still be entirely whole when they aren’t with us.

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#4. The maturity to establish mutually understood ground rules

There is a woman I know, let’s call her Susan, who is getting married later this year.

Susan was recently in a situation where drinking was involved. She ended up getting extremely intoxicated and encouraged by her fiance and friends to become sexually involved with a woman.
With friends, Susan has admitted that she felt uncomfortable during the situation but wanted to make her fiance happy.

Would this have happened if they had ground rules established? Not if they mutually understood before the situation arising, or if Sarah had felt entirely comfortable in her relationship and able to voice her feelings.

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You can accept that nobody is going to be perfect and still strive to find someone ideal for you

A successful relationship doesn’t necessarily mean longevity, as many couples stay together and spend years and years in complete misery.

Having a successful relationship to me, means seeking out someone who is compatible with you, enhances your life, and ultimately has the same core values and positive qualities.

When you choose a partner who embodies those qualities, it will make your life incredibly enjoyable… which in my opinion, is far better than striving for “perfect.”

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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