The ultimate joy in experiencing love is finding a partner that is believed to be “the one”.
The desire to spend the rest of your life with this person is exhilarating and filled with happy moments as you envision a lifetime together.
Sadly, on occasions the happily ever after envisioned doesn’t last and you find yourself wondering how you will go on.
They were an integral part of your life and the very thought of now having to continue life without the one, seems more than you can bear.
There is no easy answer for this and truly when a relationship we believe would have lasted ends, it leaves not just lingering memories of lost, but having to make even physical adjustments from place of residence to having departure of friends in some instances.
There is no right way to cope and often there are several ways in which one may cope.
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In some instances, there is the rebound relationship.
This is one entered into to stave off the loneliness and pain of facing the end of the relationship you had hoped would have lasted a lifetime.
This is usually short lived, as while physically present in the relationship there is no emotional connection or ability to form any meaningful partnership at this time.
Another way in which one may cope might be to become depressed.
Simple things like getting out the bed, going to work, running errands become difficult, if not impossible to do, as you navigate the emotions of loss and grief.
In some cases, the partner who remains, stays stuck in time and constantly believes that at any moment the departed partner will return, as such nothing is done, no changes are made, as they await the return of “the one”.
Unfortunately there is no right way for coping, as we all differ, so our ability to deal with the loss of a relationship that we hoped would have lasted a long time will impact us all differently.
The good news is that if we truly believe we can love again…we will.
How do we do this..?
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Firstly, there must be the belief that you can love again.
This is one of the best things we can do to get ourselves living and moving again.
Make no mistake it is hard to open up your heart to love again after a long desired relationship ends.
Yet if we are to move on in life, it begins first with believing we can love again.
Believing we can love again doesn’t mean we will rush into a relationship. It simply means we begin to break down and let go of the pain and hurt of an ended relationship and having an optimistic outlook that love can be experienced again.
Take time to grieve the ended relationship
So often we are scared of being alone, we go from one relationship right into another without taking the appropriate time to grieve the loss and truly be honest with ourselves about the pain, and how we are truly feeling about the loss.
Being open and honest with ourselves about the loss prepares us for truly opening our heart when ready to experience love again.
Don’t rush into a relationship
Eventually we will meet someone else we believe we can be in a loving relationship with.
There is the tendency on some occasions to quickly move from a developing friendship into a relationship.
It is wise to learn from the mistakes of the past and take the time necessary to get to know the person.
While there are still no guarantees with anyone of a lasting relationship, taking time to first build a friendship allows the opportunity to truly decide if to pursue a relationship later on.
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Breakups are difficult, especially when you believe that you had found “the one” and was hopeful for a lasting relationship.
Taking time to grieve, believing you can love again and not rushing into another relationship can allow you to heal and experience love another time around.
So don’t despair, the hurt while feeling unimaginable and unending to anyone else, will soon ease with time and you may very well find someone else who the second time around will be there to stand by your side through the good, bad and in between times and not leave!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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