This comment by Kitti on the post Ladies, It’s Time You Asked a Man on a Date
I have asked a fellow out and am definitely looking forward to it (even tho I am as nervous as a cat in a room with two toddlers.) It is not an easy thing to do, but ultimately my decision came down to, “Do you want this?” and my answer to myself, was, “Yes.” I chickened out twice on the way over to where he sits but finally worked up the courage to do.
I’ve asked advice from friends and was specifically told, “Don’t be the guy! Don’t be the one who asks questions and puts it on the line. Let him do it.” I was almost offended. Why is putting myself forward a “guy” thing? I am very up front and bold, in a polite way. Why should a dating experience be different?
My girlfriends jumped all over me when I told them I insist on splitting the cost of dates. They said, HE is enjoying YOUR company, he should pay! I don’t understand this. Am I not also enjoying his company? If I don’t, I’m not going out with him again. (Which is all the more incentive to pay my own way, to be honest.) I have a job, a good job, and it’s my money to spend as needed or desired. In fact, I consider it my responsibility to pay for what I enjoy. Makes me appreciate it more.
Anyway, THANK YOU for this article! I really needed this encouragement.
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Question of the Day:
Would encouraging women to make the first move, ask a man out and split the check (or pay for the first date) improve relationships and love connections?
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Good God – what is this, the 50’s? I’m happy to pay when i go out with people (date or friends), and if I’ve been inviting people out, I will in general assume that I’m the one paying – not because I’m a dude, but because by inviting, I’ve made decisions about cost, and I feel I should cover that cost. And also, I sometimes invite people to things hey possibly don’t feel they can afford or are willing to pay that much for, and I don’t want them to say no for that reason. OTOH, I find the idea… Read more »
OMG. Women can run for president but can’t take the risk of rejection to ask a man out on a date or pay for the first date. This is why, often, women are not seen as having the leadership abilities.
Agreed. We must practice equality if we want equality. Treating should be voluntary and available to both parties at will. Being a gentleman should not automatically imply having to always pay, especially on the first date that may never get to a second date…
My girlfriends jumped all over me when I told them I insist on splitting the cost of dates. They said, HE is enjoying YOUR company, he should pay! It is very simple really. If your friends are like that, they are selling their company, which means by definition that they are escorts. Mind you, if you have an enjoyable evening and at the end the guy decides of his own free will that he would like to invite you, that is fine. The problem is only with the attitude “We trade: He gets a fun evening, I get free grub… Read more »