This comment is from Carmen Speer on “Why Women Aren’t Crazy.”
I think the point of this article is that “gaslighting” goes back a long way. Just google “hysteria” if you’re interested. At one point, scientists actually believed that women who were dissatisfied or didn’t stay in their place were “hysterical,” and they were even committed to mental institutions. In a broader sense, “gaslighting” includes deluding girls into thinking they are not as smart as boys and that their self-worth lies mostly in their looks. It also includes shaming them into thinking they are responsible for bad male behavior toward them (including domestic abuse and rape).
I find men’s points about being told to “man up” or called “less of a man” for some behavior or another to only further prove the author’s main point about sexism in society. Strictly enforced gender binaries negatively affect men, too. These shaming views used against men are perpetuated by the same ultra-male value system that writes off women’s feelings.
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In a broader sense is completely wrong and should not be used to justify conflation and shifting goal posts.
Gaslighting relates to specific and “Deliberate” action with “INTENT” to convince a person their perceptions are wrong and to cause mental distress, altered states of thinking and to control the individual. IT IS NOT GENDERED.
It would seem that Yashar Ali’s original piece has had some unintended consequences, especially from those who like to read with bias and who do not grasp the correct meaning of the Term. It is a pity that he overstretched the idea and it has become more than viral in it’s ability to infect and mislead!
If people want to misuse the term Gaslighting and make it broader – then lets get into Politics – Racism – Disability Discrimination – in fact all forms of Xenophobia which people are not even aware they are involved in and due to ignorance and no intent get it wrong.
I’m baffled by the outrage. I can appreciate wanting to use precise terminology, but Yashar Ali did a nice job of describing the “traditional” usage of the term and explaining why and how he was deviating from it… and that’s a pretty standard rhetorical technique: taking a term from one context and tweaking it a bit to help illuminate something in another context. This is hardly an “infection.”
@ Brad – I’m not baffled! So lets see where that blurred boundary takes us shall we?
In a broader sense, “gaslighting” includes deluding people with ideas such as;
1) “Only Men Rape”
2) “Only Men Can Stop Rape”
3) Any person who does not agree with the immediate guilt of a person accused of rape without due process of law is a rape apologist and even “rape loving scum”.
4) Any person who does not accept the “Overwhelming Trope” in relation to Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence is a misogynist.
5) Any person who argues that Privilege is not just a male matter but that Female Privilege also exists is a misogynist.
6) Any person who does not accept that representing all grown men as children is valid, and even required, is anti women and anti-feminist.
Would you like me to continue? Under the “broader sense” that is all “Gaslighting”! 8^0
Those are just the examples that I pulled from memory concerning recent comments here! And to make sure you and other readers don’t get “the wrong end of the stick” and run way screaming “He Has Cooties” – I an NOT MRA or Feminist, I work in the field of Equality with no Gender/Sex Bias either way.
So – lets all deal with Gaslight on an Industrial scale – Global Scale, Even – just because an amateur blogger wrote about a whole subject from a position of ignorance – it went viral, due to bias and gender misrepresentation – so now if someone looks at you the wrong way or says “I don’t agree with you” it’s all Gaslighting!
Thus a meme is born and going Viral!
It will be interesting to be able to tell so many that they are “Gaslighting” from now on! I may even enjoy it! Everyone in the “broader sense” can call “Gaslighting” at the slightest disagreement – and they will!
Oh, and just in case you wonder at my concern – I have been dealing with abuse cases and sexual offences cases of all forms for some 30+ years – and that includes Gaslighting – “the intentional act of presenting false information with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory and perception. – it’s a very particular form of “Psychological Abuse” that does not in any way work with a “broader sense”.
Excellent comment once again MH.
These shaming views used against men are perpetuated by the same ultra-male value system that writes off women’s feelings.
This reminds me of why men feel sidelined at times.
This sounds like the damage that’s done to men is just a side effect of the “real” goal of oppressing women. Which I call BS on. The few men at the top don’t do the shaming, biasing, sexism, etc… that they do in order to exlude women and just write off all the men (the vast numerical majority I might add) that get damaged as acceptable collateral damage. No they do it to exclude ANYONE that is not them. And the same goes for women who excercise power in a similar manner.
The problem men have with those “Strictly enforced gender binaries negatively affect men, too.” remarks (and of course the grand daddy of lip service “(Oh yeah) Patriarchy Hurts Men Too (there I said it, leave me alone)”) is that they treat the damage to men like an acceptable side effect rather than an active feature in the scheme of the few to keep the power to themselves.
Danny – “This sounds like the damage that’s done to men is just a side effect of the “real” goal of oppressing women. Which I call BS on. ”
Don’t call it BS – because the OP has moved it all into the “broader sense” – so it’s all “Gaslighting”.
Call it “Gaslighting” form now on!
It is actually critically important to conceptually separate gendered from human power mechanisms. In real life these distinctions are blurred, and a conceptual separation will never tailor-fit a messy reality. Still, if we fail to acknowledge and apply such a distinction, we face an inflation of seemingly gendered-related abuse. As in all inflationary processes the actual worth and impact of each individual case decreases, thus undermining the examples of genuine gendered abuse that we need to combat. Also, flawed diagnoses – a failure to take into account the impact of other potential power structures in society, linked to e.g. class and race – lead to worthless prognoses and nullify the remedies prescribed. It is of course important to counteract the mechanisms involved in class or race marginalization as well, but this requires a different set of approaches.