I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal

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About Doyin Richards

Doyin is a father, husband, blogger, and author dedicated to creating and celebrating a world of great fathers. He operates the popular blog Daddy Doin' Work and you can also follow him on Facebook and Twitter

Comments

  1. I think this is an great picture of a Dad who is caring for his kids. Just listen to your heart and love your family and friends. 2 thumbs up for you, and keep up the awesome!! :) What adorable kids you have, too!! Jealousy and hate are destructive elements in our world that we really need to rise above and not let get us down to their level. ((HUGS))

  2. Mitt Romney's Black Child says:

    If you want things like this to change, maybe you should start by decrying MSNBCs racist roundtable against Mitt Romney for having an adopted black grandchild…

  3. worldtraveller says:

    First time ive read your blog, and im now a follower. Well said and so true. Your an inspiration to all parents, mums and dads alike. The most important thing any parent can do for their child is to love them, and that comes through loud and clear in your photo and in yoyr blog. Your children are lucky to have you as a dad and your wife is lucky to have you as a husband.

  4. You are SO AWESOME. You have a very lucky wife and very lucky children! I’ve watched my boyfriend embrace pseudo-fatherhood by raising his two nieces (5 and 6) and new baby nephew (7 months) in the same way you’ve embraced fatherhood. Seeing him interact with his brothers’ children is one of the main things that attracted me to him. When we eventually settle down, establish careers and have children, I know that he’ll be a fantastic, involved father just like yourself! My boyfriend is also bi-racial (Thai and Mexican), while I’m a white woman, and the diversity of your family is wonderful and inspiring! We’ve gotten those “looks” and comments about “destroying the gene pool” and whathaveyou, but love is love! Thank you for your dedication to your baby girls, every parent who fully dedicates themselves to parenthood is doing a service not only to their children- who will grow up capable and well-rounded, but to the world!
    Congratulations to you and your lovely family!

  5. Alexander says:

    The first thing that came to my mind when I saw that picture was how adorable they look.

    Then I noticed the size of the guy’s arm, goddamn that is huge (probably because of the little kid right next to the arm, but man that bicep looks so big), and he’s holding a tini tiny brush while wearing a what-ya-ma-call it with a little one in it. You look so silly like that.

    But really, you guys are adorable, such cute kids, I’ll bet they love their dad.

    Don’t you listen to those assholed on the internet, they are nothing but scum!

  6. Lisa Clague says:

    Good on you!
    My Dear Ol’ Dad was a hands on Dad, and my brother is one also (he has also been a single Dad raising his first son alone). I have the greatest admiration for both of them.
    All those haters out there are just missing their Dads.

  7. First time visiting your blog here, but not the first time seeing that pic. I saw there was an uproar over it and didn’t have the stomach to even see what it was all about. All I could think was this: If people think it’s amazing that a man is being active in his role as a father, I’m going to hurl. The basics, the very basics of soulfulness are marveled at as if there is something amazing in it. And, naturally, as a mom, I think how tragic it is. You voiced it here, along with a whole pile of beautiful truth. So encouraged by your perspective!

  8. I love this post!!! Race has nothing to do with dead beat dads. Every race has them but people want to be pointing the finger or giving it. This man has real balls but then is is doing what he is suppose to because he is a good human being with a compassionate soul. Blessings come in the packages called family.

  9. Anna Birkas says:

    I think we are already there. Most of us. I just never come across the people that aren’t there yet, so it is hard for me to imagine anyone not finding this normal and beautiful.

  10. I didn’t even notice the difference in skin tone… heck, I had to read the article twice to work out what the fuss was all about. Some people need to get a life and worry about stuff that really matters

  11. Reading this holding my baby son and my first impressions were I hope my son grows up to be a daddy like you. Reading your blog just confirms that. Love to you & yours x

  12. Alexandra says:

    Wow… I read your blog after i saw the picture and i tried to guess what is the big deal (because otherwise than this is a very cute picture, i didn’t sense any problem).
    Well now i see how ignorant i am… A black man marries not a black woman?!?!?! and a father that cares for his daughter???
    It is very upsetting that there are so many haters and ignorant people. But it is very inspiring to read your story and to know that you are right:
    “the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.”

    Don`t think i need to tell you – continue to be an awesome dad and a loving husband.
    Just wish that other people will learn to be half the man you are

  13. John Makaro says:

    I like to think of myself as an awesome dad, my wife and son think so too. As long as those two think that, then I couldn’t care less what some small group of “hate on you because I don’t devote my life to my kids” asshats think.

    Great read, great story, great picture, and great job on being a real Dad.

    Cheers!

  14. Dominick Tarantino says:

    My Son also took time off as a Manager of a chain store to have time to bond with his new Daughter. It was a very rewarding experience for him and my Granddaughter. I have taught my children that it takes two to run a household. Keep up the great job and be the proud Dad you are. My son has made me a very proud Dad to see the proud Dad he is.

  15. Yesenia Barajas says:

    Wow this is some true ignorant fuckers if they cannot see beyond color. What is wrong with these people? Haven’t they learned anything from history- our wars, deaths, and rights…I wish everyone could have experience what many African Americas, Jews, Indians, and so forth experience in the past AND ARE STILL EXPERIENCING TODAY! This reminds me of gender roles that are placed by society. We talked in class about how roles are assigned to us based on gender and well even race. It is sad not to be able to reward this man for being a great father…in which now in days there is not many.

  16. I don’t understand how anyone can see this photo and not see a man who cares for and loves his children.

  17. I am an adult woman in her 30s, and one of my favorite memories from childhood is my father blowdrying my hair for me every week before church while my mom took her shower. These are the sorts of memories that your children will treasure for years.

  18. hear hear

  19. It’s because they are looking through hate coloured glasses.

  20. I agree:)

  21. I think any man, (any color) should look at this photo and be proud. I think it is wonderful that you are wanting to spend time with your children and share the duties with your wife. There are alot of men out there that do help, but alot that don’t also. Look around guys, (black and white). In alot of homes both of you have to work, why is it that some of you consider it “babysitting” when you have to take care of your own flesh and blood? Remember our children learn from example, so what you do and how you do it will be our future. When are we going to get past the color of our skin? I am white and so is my husband but our color doesn’t make us good parents. It comes from the heart! I praise you and your wife for doing such a great job!

  22. I had to read the blog, because I truly didn’t understand why the picture was such a big deal. Thank you for your words of support and encouragement for families! Whole families! As a teacher, my dream is to have more active and involved parents all the way around~ it would make my career less daunting~ if basic necessities were met and stability and love started in the home.
    Way to go, and way to support Dads in a Whole Family!
    God bless~

  23. Wow is all I can say. I think what u r doing is amazing! It breaks my heart to see we still live in a world were people stereotype. It doesn’t matter what race you are, it’s the heart & love a man has for his children that matters. When I saw the pic it reminded me of my hubby. Before we were married he did both of his little girls hair. To be honest I would try to help him and he was way better! :) I know it meant so much to have their daddy involved in their life. Even if it was just doing their hair. I wish you the best and pray that you have an effect on men who are fathers world wide. You are a great example of how all fathers should strive to be!

  24. my dad gave me the “talk” about boys ,, always made me laugh.. on some dates, and some “lines”. I used to think that’s EXACTLY what my Dad said they’d say and try to do ! ahahhah

  25. Yes to this!!!! You are amazing. My earliest and happiest memory is of my dad brushing my hair and putting it in a ponytail before church. This while my older sister was jumping on him and my younger sister was waiting for her turn. Keep up the amazing work. I look forward to reading the rest of your blog.

  26. That’s really sweet :)

  27. I also had to read the blog because I did not understand why the picture was a big deal. It first caught my eye because it was so touching! God. Bless. You. Keep up the extraordinary good work!

  28. Me too. I thought. What’s this about? So a dad’s brushing his daughters hair. My dad did that when mom was busy (and don’t tell mom, but was much nicer about it). I couldn’t imagine what the “debate” was about until I read the blog. So, Good Job. It’s not a big deal for some of us.

  29. I just had a hour to view 2 young parents and their 3/4 year old daughter. Parents using hand held.
    something’s while their 3/4 year old daughter tried to entertain herself by moving all over the room and talking to them with very little response. These are times when I am sorry about all the things we use
    to not be in the moment.This child will be labeled, no doubt , when she goes to school and it may be
    suggested she needs a drug for hyper ——- . ????? Or is it she is hyper, being 3/4 and wanting to explore everything. The movie ” Babies” is on my mind. Also I am 79 yrs. old. So keep that in mind if you got this far reading. Best regards to all .

  30. You have brought tears to this old man’s eyes. You are proud of yourself and you should be. Hell, I am even proud of you. I am very much saddened by the racist remarks some have written to you. I was raised in a white liberal family in New England. I was taught from the start that color is not what it is about. It is about how colors blend. Yet, I am ashamed to say, societal conditioning manages to take a toll on good lessons. When I walk down the street and see someone a little voice in my head says he’s Black or he’s Asian or Latin etc. I’m not even sure if that is racism but I suspect it is a subtle version. It has been said, that “we are all racist, it is the degree we fight about”. All I know is that Damn it, I wish that voice wasn’t there. Happy New Year and I wish you all the best. Jake

  31. I love the honesty in your comment, Jake. Sounds a lot like me, and I’m a woman in my twenties. Just goes to show it doesn’t matter how old you are, or your gender, people still want and feel the same things. Have a good one.

    Massive amounts of support for this father, by the way! He’s doin it right.

  32. I have to disagree… you’re not being racist, your being a normal human being understanding your surroundings… let’s take it here…

    If you walk into a room, you immediately recognize tables vs. chairs… are you being racist? Absolutely not.

    What makes someone racist is if once they do the normal thing of intellectually clarifying their surroundings… they then act on that information negatively…. don’t get me wrong, we’ve all been taught that you sit at tables, not on them. But, the trick is in understanding that that table is NOT superior to a chair simply because it LOOKS different…

  33. Jake, I understand what you are saying. That voice in your head is not racism. You see what you see. A black man, I’m thinking, would like to be seen as a black man because that is part of who he is. My problem was after that, I would begin to question what he would think of me because I’m white. Would he think less of me? I would try too hard to “relate” to him instead of just being myself. Stupid, right? That is all anyone has to do. Be yourself and respect everyone.

  34. mizdameena says:

    your honesty is is great – thank you so much – you’re just said what a lot of us have probably thought – i guess it’s all about what we do with that little voice, and my guess is you tell yours to shove it and get on with knowing people, not labels.

  35. As someone from a very sheltered mixed race household, I’ve always found racism to be an interesting and bizarre part of our existence. I really think racism is too difficult for today’s society–half the time you can’t even tell someone’s ethnicity unless they tell you, so you’re only guessing. I think the day will come very soon when Martin Luther King’s dream will be a reality, because keeping track of which shade of brown or white the races lines are drawn at will be too troublesome. I like your comment Jake. But if guessing people’s races on the street is too easy, you can always guess their occupation or interests or age. As long as you don’t treat them as a Saturday Night Live caricature of themselves but as individuals who act independently of their races, I think you’ll be fine in the racism department.

  36. I have to agree. It caught my eye because of the lovely contrast, not of colours, but of a big muscular man tenderly caring for two small and delicate children. That’s not only a warm photo, but artwork. It’s a contrast of strength and fragility, of strong masculinity and slightly preoccupied girlhood and also of expected roles and observed actions.
    I think it’s a beautiful picture for all of those qualities.

    Also? Cute kids.

  37. Thank you for saying what I was thinking. Beautiful picture – could be my wonderful husband with our 5 kids.

  38. wow that was good that said it all. like there are so many mixed raced kids and adults now a days when are people just going to get over it and let people live their lives. It has nothing to do with hating your race or preferring one over the other it has to do with people falling in love with that person they fell in love with. Now what would be racist is if they let color come between the way they felt about that person, that just because someone is of another race color you shouldn’t fall for them. what is wrong with this world? All we should be seeing is a father loving his kids. Who the freek cares of color and why are grown people hating on kids they had no choice in the matter but sure their pretty happy they have a loving father who loves them for them and can show them love and how to love. But your comment said it all that was a good way of putting it.

  39. No dear, your analogy is off track- you should recognise that they are all tables, just different colours- why would you recognise the colour of the table more than recognising whether it has different height, designs, shapes etc? Its a social construct not a valid difference. The fact that you would identify colour difference as remarkable a structural difference as a chair and a table is telling, particularly when skin colour is less genetically significant than eye colour.

  40. LOVE……….LOVE………LOVE this picture. Beautiful! Now that’s a daddy!

  41. sugarchild says:

    You go boy….my brothers do their kids hair all the time when they are getting them dress. All those ignorant, stupid people out there, this is a natural act of a loving father. If you can’t see or understand that then I’m truly sorry for you…..

  42. There will always be race issues. Did you know there are race issues within races. Blacks with light skin v/s dark skin that continues to go on even more nowadays; hispanics and others.

  43. Kristen Oliver says:

    A friend shared this blogpost on facebook today.. I salute you! I am going to forward your blog info to a friend who is a fantastic stay at home dad. Blessings to you and your family!

Trackbacks

  1. […] it the “Daddy Wars.” One Los Angeles blogger sparked them when a photo he posted of himself and his two daughters on Twitter and Facebook quickly went viral. A father of two Doyin Richards (pronounced Doe-ween), […]

  2. […] This comment by Cecily on the post I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal […]

  3. […] of the comments on the dad’s post astonished me. The comments were directed at someone else, but that “someone else” is […]

  4. […] from Daddy Doin’ Work, who I’m pretty sure is my brother from another mother, just went viral this week and was invited to appear on national television morning talk shows. He’s representing what I […]

  5. […] unrelated to whining about the weather, but can we agree that internet trolls are the worst? This dad posted a picture of himself and his daughters and the backlash that came from it is so […]

  6. […] if I’d read an article she’d seen on the Good Men Project. The article, called “I Have a Dream: That People Will See a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal“, is written by a guy named Doyin Richards. Richards is a dad and a black man. He has a blog […]

  7. […] Standing ovation to this man not just for being a good father but for getting on the soapbox and saying what needs to be said […]

  8. […] a lengthy response post since reposted by The Good Men Project, Doyin invokes Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and says he dreams of a day when “people will […]

  9. […] “I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal&#82… — Having an engaged partner in parenting was a non-negotiable for me, which works out because my husband is an awesome Dad. It drives me nuts when people talk about him, or any other male parent, as if they are babysitters, inferior, or incompetent. This article expands beyond simple mother/father treatments and stereotypes, and is well worth a read. […]

  10. […] Doyin Richards, 39, is a black dad who took a picture of himself styling his oldest daughter’s hair while having his toddler strapped to his chest. Word on the street is that it’s gone viral in the last several days. […]

  11. […] I was sent the following link from my lady to read this brother’s letter regarding a picture he took of himself combing his daughter’s hair while holding his other child in a carrier. I read the article and was amazed at how something so innocent turned into something for a number of persons to attack. Here’s the link for those who might not have seen it: http://goodmenproject.com/families/i-have-a-dream-that-people-will-view-a-picture-life-this-and-not-… […]

  12. […] Good Read: I Have a Dream: That People Will Look At A Picture Like This & Not Think It’s A Big Deal […]

  13. […] Hess’ article (along with this thoughtful response from an involved father who got bashed for merely combing his daughter’s hair one morning) […]

  14. […] I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Think It’s Not a Big Deal This story has gone viral, but if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s definitely worth a read. […]

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  17. […] rather play catch in the backyard with his son instead of killing pixelated terrorists on his XBox. I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal by Doyin […]

  18. […] hair with an infant strapped to his chest] with his two daughters went viral, Doyin Richards offers his response.  “Until we can get to the point where men and women can complete the same parenting tasks […]

  19. […] particularly vile cases of hatred directed at multi-racial families received national attention. One father took to the internet to defend his right to post a picture of himself with his two daughters, even […]

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