I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal

doyin

The only thing Doyin Richards wanted to do was get his daughter ready for school. He had no idea the viral outrage that would cause. 

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the best orators in the history of the world and was one of the Top 10 Americans ever. Believe me, I’m not comparing myself to a legend like Dr. King, but I’m going to share my version of the “I Have A Dream” speech with all of you.

Before I start, let me give you some background.

Most of you know this, but I’m taking the month of October off from my corporate job for baby bonding with my 3-month old daughter. It’s a lot of work being a stay at home parent, but it’s so damn rewarding. My baby girl smiles at me nonstop these days and I know it’s attributed to the one-on-one time I’m spending with her. It’s a blast.

One morning last week, my wife was running late for work and was worried that she wouldn’t be able to get my older daughter’s hair done before I had to take her to school. I told her that she could leave and I’d handle it. She countered by saying that doing her hair requires attention and the baby would get upset if I left her alone while I played the role of stylist. Again, I told her that I’d handle it. On the way out she said, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

That’s when I put the baby in the Ergo carrier, stood my older daughter on a stool and worked my hair magic. During the process, I thought, “There’s no way my wife will believe me if I don’t take a picture of this.” That’s when I set my camera up, put it on a 10-second timer, and took the photo you’re looking at right now. After 15 minutes of multitasking, the final result was a nice, tight ponytail for big sister and a happily sleeping baby in the carrier. Mission accomplished. I emailed the photo to her with the caption “Boom.” and we both got a good laugh out of it.

The calm before the internet storm....

The calm before the internet storm..

Little did I know how interesting things were about to become.

After eating some breakfast, I figured I’d post the picture on the Daddy Doin’ Work Facebook and Twitter feeds. Within hours, the picture went viral (well, at least “viral” for me). At last check, the photo was shared over 4,800 times, received over 3,000 comments, and was liked over 190,000 times. The photo was also “borrowed” by at least 13,164 Facebook pages before I could watermark it (OK, maybe not 13,164 Facebook pages…it was probably closer to 23,164 Facebook pages) That was a head-scratcher for me, because I never experienced something like this since I started blogging.

The reactions, comments, and emails I received ranged from the overwhelmingly positive to the downright nasty. But as I went through everything, I had a chance to reflect on what I hope for the future. Let’s do this.

♦◊♦

I have a dream that insecure dads will spend less time hating on good dads and more time on getting their own shit together. I’d say 95% of the dads who follow me are actively involved in their kids’ lives and view parenting as a 50/50 endeavor (or 100/100 endeavor) with their wives/girlfriends. They send me “Thank You” emails, they’ll say it’s refreshing to see a guy (me) who embraces fatherhood as much as they do, and they’ll refer other good dads to my blog because they know I’ll celebrate them. Words cannot express how much I appreciate those men because they will play a huge role in making fatherhood “cool” again (granted, I always thought fatherhood was cool, but that’s another story).

On the flip side, there’s a small pocket of men out there that can’t stand me. Here’s a sampling of some of the private messages and comments I received from them after I posted this picture:

– “He probably rented those kids. They don’t even look like him.”

– “I would bet anything that you’re a deadbeat.”

– “OK buddy, cute picture. Now why don’t you hand the children back to their mom so you can go back to selling drugs or your bootleg rap CDs?”

– “So do you do this for all of your illegitimate kids?”

You get the idea.

As I’ve said in previous blog posts, I’m not immune to hate mail—and some messages are racist in nature and some aren’t. It comes with the territory of doing what I do and I completely understand that. However, do you know what’s funny? Oftentimes when a dude posts a public hateful comment on my FB page or Twitter feed, it’s followed up by his wife or girlfriend emailing me privately to apologize for his behavior. These women will tell me that their men are angry that I’m making them “look bad” because they aren’t holding up their end of the bargain when it comes to parenting. Here’s the thing: I don’t make anyone look bad. These guys are doing a fine job on their own according to the women in their lives.

Memo to the small pocket of male haters I have: Why don’t you put big boy shorts on and get in on the revolution of good fathers? It’s not a good look to tear down dads for doing the work your wives wished you were man enough to do on your own. If you don’t believe me, just ask your spouses. They’ll tell you.

But don’t worry. I’ll still be here whenever you’re ready to step your game up and join #TeamGrownAssMan.

Again, to the amazing dads out there reading this (which happens to be the overwhelming majority)—much love to you guys. I appreciate you. Your spouses appreciate you. And most importantly—your kids appreciate you.

♦◊♦

I have a dream that people will be judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin. OK, so I had to paraphrase the great MLK on this one. Surprisingly (well, not surprisingly to me) in this instance, the majority of racist emails I received came from other black people. Again, here’s a sampling:

– “This would be so much better if those kids were BLACK!”

– “Look at this Uncle Tom. No chance he would be doing this if his kids were black.”

– “I’m sorry, but I can’t support a brotha who didn’t marry a black woman.”

– “Your MOM is black and you dishonored her by marrying outside of your race? You probably can’t handle a strong black woman.”

 

***I step away from his computer to check his calendar to ensure it’s 2014 and not 1914***

Allow me a moment to address the small pocket of racists who share the same race as me.

Dr. King dedicated his life to ensuring people could live a life free of judgments based on skin color. He dedicated his life to ensuring future generations could marry anyone without dealing with persecution. But there are people “on his team” (yes, I know we’re ALL on the same team, just roll with me on this, please) who are sabotaging his work. If the first thing you want to do is to criticize the skin color of my kids for not being as dark as mine, you have some serious issues.

Yes, I married a woman who is half-white and half-Japanese. Yes, the skin of my babies happens to be a few shades lighter than mine. Yes, my mom (a black woman born and raised in the deep south of Mississippi) loves my wife and kids because she’s smart enough to know that love is colorblind. All of my black friends and family members feel the same way.

You mad?

Grow up and stop being so damn ignorant. You’re an embarrassment to Dr. King and his legacy.

To be clear, I’m not addressing all black folks here – because the overwhelming majority of my black followers are kind, clear-thinking, and intelligent individuals.

It’s just that the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.

 ♦◊♦

I have a dream that people will view a man’s love for fatherhood for what it is instead of thinking there’s something “fishy” going on.  A lot of people really dig the fact that I dig daddying (yes, I made it a verb) as much as I do. However, since I started my blog 17 months ago, I’ve come across some people who will look at me and think, “There’s no way this guy can be as passionate about fatherhood as he is. I bet he’s using his kids in an attempt to become rich and famous.” It’s sad.

Think of the Mommy blogs you like to follow (some of which have a larger following than I have). If they share their love for motherhood, you probably wouldn’t think twice about it because that’s what moms are “supposed to do,” right? But if a human being with a penis shares the same passion for being a parent, it somehow becomes strange and fishy? And that makes sense…how, exactly?

I love being a dad and I love sharing my love of fatherhood with others. Hell, being a dad is one of the few things in life I’m actually good at. Of course I’m going to be passionate about this gig. My dream is that ALL people will embrace men who embrace fatherhood instead of wondering if they have ulterior motives. Remember, we’re the good guys in this fight.

 ♦◊♦

I have a dream that people will view a picture like this and not think it’s such a big deal. Don’t get me wrong here – it’s a very cute picture, and it’s cool when people say so. However, I start to get a little uncomfortable when people want to start planning parade routes for me because of it. Somewhere there’s a dad doing the exact same thing for his daughters. Somewhere there’s a dad who put his foot down with his boss and refused to attend an “urgent staff meeting” so he could leave work early to attend his daughter’s dance recital. Somewhere there’s a single dad successfully getting his three sons ready for school. Somewhere there’s a stay at home dad crushing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry for his family. Somewhere there’s a dad who would rather play catch in the backyard with his son instead of killing pixelated terrorists on his XBox.

In other words, there are plenty of good, involved dads out there. Many of them are reading this post right now.

I’ve posted hundreds of pictures of my family since I started blogging and I had no idea that this one would cause such a seismic shift on the WWW. But what if I posted a picture of my wife doing what I did in that picture? Many would probably think it’s cute, but after ten seconds of looking at it, they would probably move on to the next shiny object on their newsfeed. Why? Because it just wouldn’t be a big deal to many people if a woman did it.

Until we can get to the point where men and women can complete the same parenting tasks and the reactions are the same, we will have problems. If you want to create a statue for me for taking care of my daughters, create one for the moms who are doing the same damn thing everyday for their kids without receiving a “Thank you” or an “Ooooh” or “Ahhhh.”

These behaviors should be expected of moms and dads. No exceptions.

♦◊♦

That ends my rant.

For many of you, this is the first blog post you’ve ever read from me. Just so you know, I’m usually the lighthearted guy online and I’m rarely this angry – but today I had to regulate a bit.

In time you’ll determine if you love me or hate me. If you love me, that’s good news because I’m going to continue doing the stuff you love. If you hate me, that’s bad news because I’m going to continue doing the stuff you hate. If you fall into the “hate” category, just send my blog to all of your enemies (that’ll show ‘em). For the rest of you, I’m so humbled and happy to be a guy you follow and enjoy as we embark on this crazy road of parenthood together.

On a side note, I wrote this entire post while my baby girl was sleeping on me in the Ergo.

It’s not a big deal. That’s just what a Daddy Doin’ Work is supposed to do.

Boom.

Originally published on Daddy Doin’ Work®.

Daddy Doin’ Work: Empowering Mothers To Evolve Fatherhood is now available on Amazon. http://amzn.to/1nZirCX

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About Doyin Richards

Doyin is a father, husband, blogger, and author dedicated to creating and celebrating a world of great fathers. He operates the popular blog Daddy Doin' Work and you can also follow him on Facebook and Twitter

Comments

  1. Wow. It is literally shocking, and eye opening, that you had any responses that were so negatively racial. Especially from other men. I really am just stunned by this.

    I think the really powerful thing here is that the people with the negative charged racial judgements are giving you the exact ammunition we need to buck away such tropes. You can’t fight against beliefs people have when they keep their ignorance to themselves. But when they tell you in exactly which ways they are ignorant, as these people did, they make it that much more easy to bring attention to something that clearly needs to be given attention, and needs to be changed.

    Doyln, I think that picture is one of the best pictures I’ve ever seen. It’s such a warm and intimate look into a family’s life. And to be honest, if you hadn’t written about it, I never would have guessed that that picture would invoke anything negative.

    And I understand, based on what you said about lots of dads who are doing the same thing, the praise might make you a little uncomfortable. And yes, there are many dads doing what you are doing. But the truth is that we don’t see it and we don’t truly talk about it and the level of father involvement in our culture is at an all time high. And that is what makes this picture, and your blogging, so important toward that. Not because your the only dad doing it but because you are showing it and talking about it. And that’s really important and actually key to getting people to change their previous held views.

    My Dad was a great Dad in many ways, but he never would have done my hair. The role of dads has shifted so much in the past few decades and it’s a really amazing thing. My Mom is always shocked and impressed when she sees a dad pushing a stroller, at the playground with his kids or doing other things that from her generation, where really the things only women did. I don’t think she ever gets tired of seeing it because she always smiles and comments saying stuff like, “Look at that Dad with his kids. He’s really playing with them, having fun.”

  2. Hey Doyin,
    I just stumbled into your blog here. Love what you have to say. I dig the picture, and also the fact that you took yourself some good paternity leave for your baby girl. I’m not a stay-at-home dad (I’m actually a Navy officer), but I do have a tendency to do most of the cooking and laundry and a decent amount of the cleaning for my wife and two boys. I also have a hard time understanding the negative responses that you describe, but again, I love what you have to say. I don’t have much else to say, but I just wanted to show some solidarity. Keep up the good work (and the hair styling).

  3. At first sight of your picture I smiled and thought “What a great Dad”. We need more good men like you.

  4. yeah heard the non-racist stuff before, “i bet you’re a deadbeat” echoes in my head occasionally on it’s own because of it. DO what you do man, and be amazing at it…we need more of us to step into our children’s lives.

  5. Goes to show us thay despite calling for men to “step up” in parenting a lot of folks still aren’t ready for us to actually do it.

    Keep it up my good man.

  6. This was such a fantastic read. One day we will get to a point where it is not uncommon for dads to perform these simple acts. Many of us grew up in households where dads did not express this side of themselves and oftentimes even our mothers never expressed this tender side. There will always be cynics and those with confidence in skepticism. It is easier to be a skeptic and to hate because it means that you don’t have the courage to try. However, it is also faith as Dr. Martin Luther King had in his speech that you reference so much. I’d rather have skepticism in faith than confidence in skepticism. Wrapping yourself in negativity is a security blanket that keeps you chained to your old bed posts. Expand your minds!

  7. I saw this post in my FB feed and clicked on it, then looked at the photo (before I read the article) showed it to my daughter and we were both totally confused as to why it would cause ‘viral outrage’. After reading the article I’m still confused by the outrage a lovely photo caused – my daughters father bailed continually throughout her life due to his hatred of me (and now they don’t talk in part because he thinks she is too much like me) and my grandson’s father has bailed too. Luckily both my daughter and my grandson have/had males in their lives that are taking on (and took on from the age of 2 in my daughters case) a positive male, father figure role – and that is what makes a daddy, its being able to multi task and do your daughters hair before school and it not be a big deal because its what daddy’s should do. A really great article, I’m definitely heading over to your blog. oh and with the racism – I am white but have faced racism from white and black alike – all because the man I was with wasn’t white/ or conversely because I wasn’t arab, and funnily enough it was never from arabs but others some american some english, it is ludicrous!

    • My initial response was the same as that of you and your daughter. In fact, I spent several minutes studying the picture trying to find the reason anyone would be bothered. Reading the article was quite saddening to me. I think the picture is awesome and the family looks great. Good “daddying”

  8. Welcome to the world of a celebrity!
    MANY like/love, respect you……..then they’res the HATERS! (as the kids call them)
    Great job…..enjoy a lifetime of smiles, hugs and happy tears with your babies!!!

  9. Saw the pic – thought awww, cute. Then I read the tag line and had to read on because I honestly had no idea how this picture could cause a viral outrage. After having read it, I’m like wow, really? That’s just sad. People can be so awful and hurtful. You keep on doin’ what your doin’, which is great, but you’re right – something lots of other men do – and seemingly more and more these days. But I still think your’e awesome and keep on inspiring others! Thanks for this fabulous post and love the blog. :)

  10. Christina Coolidge says:

    I didn’t have a father growing up and it warms my heart to see that your girls will grow up knowing they are loved and appreciated by the main man in their life. I’ve heard the expression, “having low self esteem is like driving around with the parking break on.” I understand that as that is what occurred for me by missing out on a strong father figure in my life.

    What you are doing, and what any active parent is doing, is important for those children. Its all that matters. Thank you

  11. You rock. Period.

  12. I just have to say that I think you rock. Yes, this is the first post I’ve read of yours, but it won’t be the last. I love seeing tender moments of any parent and child(ren). You’re doing a fantastic job and you have a beautiful family. :)

  13. My dad helped me curl my hair for my high school graduation photos. He made some comments about how funny he must look, but I encouraged him. He was a big black dude, an ex-army guy. It must have looked similar to your picture, with your big biceps. Regardless, it is one of the best memories I have with my dad and I have the result of my hair in the photos. My father is gone now, so remember that your daughter will remember your tenderness and acts of love, long after you are gone.

    • Katherine says:

      My Dad was the only one who could tie the bow on the back of the dresses I used to wear as a little girl. He was a big dude – played football for Notre Dame – and his giant fingers struggled with the fabric and he would bust a sweat but the bow always came out perfect and beautiful. My Dad is gone now too and that is one of the sweetest memories I have of him. You have two lucky daughters.

  14. Well said. Great article to start the morning from a fellow SAHD. :) Keep up the good work! Carry on!

  15. Doyin Richards says:

    Hi all! Thanks for the support and kind words. Put simply, I’m just an average guy who loves being a dad to my two baby girls. I had no clue that this picture would create so much discussion/controversy, but I guess that can happen occasionally as a blogger, right? Hugs and fist bumps to all of you. :)

  16. Brian Dupuis says:

    Sad. I saw the picture and the first thing that popped into my mind was “I bet he got a better ponytail out of that than I do for my girl.” Sorry for all the hateful people out there, dude. Keep being you and keep hoping.

  17. i want to thank you for your article, I am a mom who is a team with my husband raising our daughter, my husband has stepped up and put himself hands-on with her in ways he never knew he could. he is so involved in her day to day and is in love!
    I have several friends who can’t get there husbands to get off the couch to scoop up a crying baby while she has one grabbing at her legs and another screaming “mom! mom! look mom!” and cooking dinner and trying to clean and work full time.
    It is a shame that you are a refreshing change, I wish more dads saw themselves as the integral part of the puzzle as you do.

  18. I was impressed when I saw your photo. Your daughter is having her hair brushed before school and the baby is being taken care of. What’s not to like?! Congratulations!

  19. Joanna Schroeder says:

    Lots of love in this photo, and great writing in this story. Keep up the awesome work, sir!

  20. Sweet picture, great article. My first thought (as a white, working from home mom) was that it reminded me so much of all the times my husband had one of our babies in the Baby Bjorn, while he was washing dishes, vacuuming, or doing whatever else needed doing. He took off some paternity leave but otherwise worked full time and helped as much as he could when he was home. He is entirely capable of taking care of both kids by himself, and it’s no big deal. It’s called being a fully functional adult and parent. I’m sorry this has caused such an outrage among some, and I really don’t get it either.

    I also noticed the different skin shades between you and your daughters, and thought, “Oh, it’s an interracial family. It’s nice to see that represented.” We have several family members of various races and people still make such stupid comments about it. I hope we as a country get over it soon.

  21. I saw this picture on Facebook and thought it was really sweet. I had no other thought than how sweet it was and how you were taking care and bonding with both children during such a simple every day task. It blows my mind that people have to be so nasty and judge what they know nothing about. Why can people not just see the good? Good for you for Dadding It Up like you do every day. The world could take a lesson. People say a lot of negative things about people doing positive things. My husband takes an active role in the lives of our daughters and I am thankful every day that he does. Too many children do not have positive male influence in their lives. I am saddened that people feel like they have to hate on those who are doing right by their children. I feel sad that people are still making racist comments in the day and age we live in. You are a light in the world and I know you will keep sharing it. Rock on.

    • Q Johnson says:

      Agreed. There might be days my spouse would prefer not to Daddy up, but When I saw this pop up on my screen, my first thought was “Hey, that man is rocking that baby carrier!” It took a second to see that you were brushing the little miss’ hair and then my thought was, “and multitasking parenting!”

  22. Thanks for sharing this story. That’s crazy that this photo lit up the interwebs like that. I appreciate (and share) your passion for fatherhood. Keep that going. I also appreciate how you answered your haters in this article. This definitely opened my eyes to some of the weird dynamics surrounding fatherhood that I hadn’t seen before. Thanks for sharing your dream/vision for people not hating on fatherhood.

    P.S. I often brush my daughter’s hair as well.

  23. Ree Saheid says:

    Fab article and lovely picture, You’re a brilliant dad. Race/colour is irrelevant and it’s sad that in 2014, it’s still an issue. Well done. :)

  24. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GIFT YOU ARE GIVING TO YOUR CHILDREN. When my children were young I came across a message in a news article that I clipped and kept on my fridge for many years. It said, ” if you want your children to turn out well spend twice as much time and half as much money on them.” I tried to do this with my children and admire the fact that you seem to be doing this as well. Our children only grow up once, so spend every moment you can enjoying them.

  25. Ugh! It always surprises me when stuff like this gets such racist responses…particularly from people who are a minority themselves. That’s terrible and I’m very sorry you’ve had to field such rude and hateful comments.

    Anyway, my husband is also a very involved dad. He’s not mastered the baby-carrier thing, but he’s great with the kids and actually cooks all the family meals. I wish people would stop acting like that’s somehow special or amazing…that’s how it SHOULD be. My family is always so impressed and often shocked that he is actually able to CARE FOR HIS OWN CHILDREN. Huh?! Why wouldn’t he be capable!? It’s not rocket science! I definitely appreciate what he does, but not because I’m surprised he can do it.

  26. You are WEARING one child while taking care of the other. How can anyone find any negative in this situation? Goes to show that ignorance is rampant in this society as well as close minded bigotry. You, sir, depict what a stellar dad you are just be being in this picture. I am sorry you had to read such comments from backwards thinking people. Your daughters and wife are very lucky indeed. Rock on.

  27. Amanda Balow says:

    Love this article. It’s sad how much people can hate on other people. The mommy blogs are no different. Parents should support other parents, but instead most would rather tear others down to feel better about themselves! Keep up to good work. Your daughters will cherish every minute!

  28. Wow! When I first saw your photo, I thought, “What a great dad watching both his kids and getting the older one ready for school.” I am shocked and saddened that people wrote hate comments to you about being a deadbeat dad and worse, actually writing racist comments because your children are a few shades lighter than you. And we’re now in 2014, but with so many people’s racist minds still in the early 20th century. What a shame for those ignorant people to spew such garbage, but what a great role model you are to other young fathers trying to do the right thing with by their own children and wives. You rock!

  29. I couldn’t figure out why you were getting bad comments either. This is a great picture. I love seeing Dads taking part in their children’s lives. My husband would take our daughter to watch football with him, give me some time alone, and his friends couldn’t figure out how he’d be able to get anything out of the game. (Um, it’s not about the game, it’s about the quality time). He’d also get comments about “babysitting”. No way. It’s his own child. You parent, not babysit. I say good job, and keep it up.

  30. Chumy Herman says:

    First thing that came to my mind was ‘ aw that’s adorable’ then I opened the link to read!

  31. You’re awesome. I mean… REALLY awesome. When I saw the photo before reading the article, I thought “If I were to ever have kids, that’s the kind of man I would want as a father to them.” I couldn’t believe the negative responses you received. People are so ignorant, and it’s really just sad for them that that is the life they live. You keep doing what you’re doing, because it’s wonderful.

  32. Like another commenter…I studied the pic for several minutes before reading the post seeing if I could figure out what all the hype would be. I’m dumb-founded by the response! Sharing your intimate world with the masses can be overwhelming and I just wanted to take the time to say “thanks!” My children have a step-father that is just as passionate about them as you appear about your babies. They have the true definition of a dead beat father as their biological father. Blogs like this and men like you are aiding mothers and fathers as they teach their sons how to be real men and their daughters how to be ladies. It’s a difficult task most days and we have to ban together and uplift each other on this path of parenthood.

    Much Love!!

    Midwestmoma.blogspot.com
    “Mommy blogger” 😉

  33. Tom Brechlin says:

    Doyin, I can relate to the hair thing. My daughter is now in her late 20’s so this goes back many years. My daughter has very thick hair and in the summer it’s really hot. Contrary to my wife’s wishes to let her hair grow down to the floor, I took my daughter who was in her early teens to a well known salon in town. She had her hair cut to just below her shoulders which means they took off a good 10”. They blew dry her hair (big mistake) which made it explode in size. At lunch, she broke down and cried that she hated her hair. So we went home and having never used a curling iron, I managed to do a pretty good job to the point that my daughter was really happy. Imagine the crap I would have got 20+ years ago if I’d blogged something like that?

    At least now, the majority of the respondents are positive. Keep up the great work!

    BTW, my wife was PO’d that I had her hair cut but she got over it soon enough.

    • Joanna Schroeder says:

      Tom, you need to write a blog post about that day! What a great papa!

      • Tom Brechlin says:

        I have to tell ya Joanna, when I write things like this, I realize how blessed I’ve been and what a great life I’ve had with my family. So many of these articles trigger great and sometimes not so great memories …. but mostly great. I’ll give it some though and Thank you Joanna :)

  34. Thank you so much for posting this. The picture reminds me of my own dad!
    I just have one question: In the picture, is the thing in your hand a hair fastener, or the world’s tiniest hairbrush? Either way, it’s so cute!

  35. Caryn Baker says:

    I think the pic is awesome and you are creative & inventive! Shame on anyone who looked at this and took it for anything other than what it truly is – a good dad working the multi tasking like a boss! Kudos to you!

  36. Next time, use a bigger hairbrush.
    Your kids are adorable!

  37. Being a white woman with a black husband I feel greatful for having read this. My husband receives a lot of compliments for simply playing with our 3 children (4 yo boy, 2 yo girl, and 7 month old girl) He wears them, plays with them, and would rather practice karate with our son than ignore him to play video games (granted after bedtime the xbox is on… but it is skylander and we are upgrading his characters so he can play easier) I don’t see him as a black man, I see him as a responsible father to his children. I was a product of divorce and my father wasn’t in the picture so it was important to me to have that quality in the man I chose to have children with. I will continue to follow your blog :) thank you for this… it needed said!!!!

  38. Wow how can anyone possibly look at this picture and come to the conclusion it’s a bad thing. I for one was touched by the awesomeness of it. Good for you. Your wife is a lucky lady.

  39. This is beautiful. Just beautiful. :)

  40. I haven’t suffered that racial crap. However, I am getting divorced, and one of the first things my wife did in mediation was to claim that I couldn’t cut it with 50% custody, that I didn’t have the time, patience or skills. Background: When my first child was born, the first thing I did after kissing my wife and saying thank you was to grab the nurse and ask her to instruct me on all things kid. Diapers, baths, car seats, you name it. Oh, I’d taken the classes, but now I had a real kid that squirmed and cried, and as my wife went through post C-Section recovery, there was no way I wasn’t pulling my weight. Since then I’ve done it all daily. I give baths, play with dolls, fix hair, you name it. I’ve proved my soon to be ex-wife wrong, and had she looked back at our years of marriage, she’d have have known that she was wrong. I don’t say this to beat her up, but to point out that just like men need to accept that women can do a lot of things they traditionally haven’t, women need to practice that. Empower men. If you question a mans willingness and ability to do what needs to be done with the kids, then 1) don’t be surprised if he doesn’t, after all, you’ve as much as told him you want him to fail, 2) don’t be surprised if he excels, and puts it in your face. When I got divorced, I didn’t question my wife’s ability to work 40/week after 5 years of stay at home mom, and I was insulted that she didn’t give me the same courtesy of assuming that I would rise to the occasion. We need to give each other the credit, and set the bar high expecting that it will be met, not assume that someone else is going to fail.

  41. This article popped up on my newsfeed, and based on the title, clearly people thought something was wrong with the picture. So before reading, I looked long and hard at the picture and analyzed it, trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Was the baby in the carrier in an unsafe position? Was the child on a footstool and in danger of falling? Was there some kind of dangerous weapon illegal substance in the picture? I looked and looked and looked, but just couldn’t figure out what people were finding wrong with the picture. Then I read the article and was pretty much disgusted! Seriously people? You pretty much said all there is to say about the disgusting nature of some people, but I just wanted to know that I appreciate you being a great dad! I’m married to a man who is a fabulous dad to our three girls, but doing hair is not in his repertoire, so way to go you!

    • Christina says:

      Haha I did the same thing! I actually read the article for the sole purpose of finding out what was wrong with the picture because I couldn’t see it!

      • Yeah, me too. At first I thought it was maybe about hair. Please forgive my ignorance, but I have only recently discovered that there is a THING about hair and how one wears it. Some guy doing his kid’s hair? And people think there’s a controversy. I’m a bit sadder knowing this.

    • I did the same thing and thought the same thing. Sadly I know people who would react with the same arguments he encountered…

    • Yup, me too! I looked and looked at this picture trying to figure out what was wrong with it. I also read the article to figure out why something “bad” was going on. And to be honest my very dedicated husband will not touch our black daughter’s hair with a ten foot pole. To be fair, we are both white and while dressing her, bathing, changing diapers and even playing tea party is all in his repatoir, trying to comb massively curly hair just isn’t.

  42. I think it’s beautiful what you are doing. To be honest, when I first saw this photo, I didn’t think much about it. I have been lucky in my life to have a dad that would do the same for my sister and I and a husband who is caring with our son and daughter, alike. Doting almost. So seeing a dad, you, do this is not a shocker. I have never heard of your blog before but anything that involves positivity around raising children and encouraging men to put away their “masks” and care for their children is something I would like to read. I think what you are doing is wonderful! Keep it up and the other people have misplaced anger. Hopefully, they will someday find a better way of dealing with it. Also, there have been several studies showing that the number of genes that determine our color are very small. So, going by the color of someone’s skin does not give you the absolutely answer of their heritage. Hence, a very black person could have very recent white heritage and a very white person could have recent black heritage.

  43. What I always find interesting is that when someone asks me who did my three girls hair and I as a matter of fact tell them that I did. Their eyes get wide and jaws open in shock. MY response has always been, I have three girls and while my wife does their hair more than half the time, she also has a life and a husband who should be capable enough to do the girls hair when the situation calls for it. My eldest daughter is in ballet and it’s not uncommon that I’m the one outside of the studio (since I take her to her classes 95% of the time) putting her hair into a dancer’s bun. All of the moms just look at me like I’m some alien. Then another brotha that I became cool with comes in and does the same to his daughter’s hair. This isn’t about equality or male-enlightenment – it’s about being a father with girls and doing what it takes to make sure they have a shot in life and can look their best when they leave the house. That’s a parental issue – not a gender one.

    This is a COMMON thing that SOME people are waking up to – it’s nothing new.

  44. I actually clicked through to this post because my first thought was “why would anyone have anything hateful to say about this picture”. I think your blog and this picture are awesome. Your children are beautiful and I think that picture will someday be a great memory for your family. I’m glad that you stay positive in the face of stupid people in the world. Keep daddying on!

  45. Rachel Ann says:

    I clicked on the link from facebook because I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. Dad, kids, seemed natural to me. Then I read and I had the same “what year is it” experience. Ignore the haters. I’ve a saying “idiots abound”. Just keep doing the good daddying your doing. Enjoy those kids, they grow up fast.

  46. I love this entry. I love that you enjoy parenting and this works for your family. I belong to a family with father’s who have loved fatherhood. I’m not sure my father held me while doing my sister’s hair, but I know that my husband has done this many times. Thank you for being passionate and promoting positive values for families, husbands, fathers and men by being who you are.

  47. Some people are just rude… Ignore them! I didn’t see what the big deal was when I saw this pic. Then I read some of the comments people posted, I can’t believe how ignorant some people still are. Keep doing what your’e doing daddio! Great job!

  48. Esther Trevis says:

    I sat and looked at the picture for a good few minutes, as I accessed it through a Birth without Fear link, and the caption beneath spoke of the viral outrage it caused and I just could NOT see what was wrong with it.
    Now I do.
    All the utter fools that populate this earth! I don’t care WHAT colour your skin is or whether the Daddy in this picture is the biological Dad of those kids, the adoptive Dad, the stepdad, couldn’t give two hoots because it shows a Daddy doing exactly what a Daddy should- loving and caring for his beautiful children.
    I am so sorry you have had to deal with small, nasty-minded idiots spouting their racist diatribe but I applaud you for the well-spoken, thoughtful response.
    I’m like your wife- the lucky spouse of a wonderful, caring, responsible man who does his utmost to provide and care for his family- although in fact, our sons are not biologically his. He’s a fantastic man and I am so glad he is in our lives- and something tells me your wife and daughters feel just the same about you.
    It might hearten you to know that I called my three kids over to the screen and asked them to look at the picture and tell me what was wrong with it- they were totally and utterly puzzled because they could see that everything was right with it.
    (And your daughters have the most wonderful shade of skin! :) )
    Love and light to you and yours, from me and mine in Scotland. :)

  49. This was the first time I’ve read something that you’ve written and it was a beautiful rant. Saw this “shiny new thing” on my wall and thought it was an adorable picture of a dad with his children. There aren’t many times these treasures are caught in a photo. It’s amazing what people will say when they can hide behind anonymity. Keep up being good parents. Looks like your doing just fine.

  50. I saw this in my news feed and when I saw the picture couldn’t imagine what people were outraged about. My first thoughts were that there is a lucky mom out there, and 2 lucky kids to have such an involved daddy. My husband is an amazing father but doing our girls hair not one of his fortes! Also, I dont think I am alone in saying that men wearing babies, taking care of kids…sexy. period. As for the racist bullshit…I cannot understand how people in 2014 can still be so backwards.
    Rock on Daddy.

  51. Keep it up brother! We all need each other to lean on!

  52. I love you, Doyin.

  53. Jennifer Wren says:

    This is hilarious to me, because I looked at that picture and thought two things: a) what a damn sexy black man! and b) wonder how he makes time to get to the gym (although he obviously can multitask. Thumbs up for rock and roll, you fine fabulous father.

  54. Bookmarking this to share with my sons. When we talk about positive male influences in children’s lives,I will show them this. This touches home on many different levels. Positive parenting, respect for equality, importance of family. I could go on. Thank you for writing this blog and I will continue to follow.

  55. I’m at a loss as to how anything in this photo could be objectionable (except perhaps that maybe it is a little blurry, and the angle isn’t working for me… but who am I to judge). I’m also upset that I don’t have arms like you do. Otherwise, it is awesome.

  56. Oh my goodness. Boom, indeed. I’ve got boys, and find the carrier invaluable – I can’t imagine doing hair over a baby in the carrier. Someone has mad skills! Good on ya, Daddy!

  57. That picture is awesome because you got the job done.

    I used to love blowing the minds of moms that would talk about how crazy it was to go to a local museum alone with a kid or two and I would say that’s easy, I’ve taken all three of mine there solo.

    And a single dad getting three kids up and out the door isn’t that hard. Although, I only have two boys, so maybe that makes it easier…

  58. I am a fellow dad (I have 2 boys, 5, and 5 months) and this made my day. A friend posted it to FB and I read the article. It has made my morning, I know other dads who are awesome at being dad but it is nice to know that there is a blog for dads. You have a new fan.

  59. BOOM.
    You go on with your badass daddyin’ self.

  60. I tried forever to figure out what was “wrong with this picture”, then I read this and was disgusted by what I read that you had endured after posting the picture.

    You are the epitome of what MLK spoke of!! Some blacks think he was speaking of ONLY raising up their race, and, some whites think he was speaking only of raising blacks up above all other races. His speeches were for ALL races to be EQUAL to one another. Every single last one of them, including your half white/half Japanese wife, me and my white family and my white daughter, her black husband and my beautiful bi-racial children. Many times I do so wish MLK was here to clarify what he wanted us all to work towards: Judging NO ONE by the color of their skin. How dare any race belittle you for what you were doing (based on your race alone)? – The blacks for speaking negatively of you for marrying a woman not of your race and the whites for assuming that because you were black you would not be caring for your children. I would say you are a great example of a father; regardless of your race. You don’t have to be black (or white) to be a good father. Black and white men could learn a lesson or two from you.
    Honestly, the only thing I thought of when I saw this picture is how blessed the children and their mother is to have someone like you in their lives. I am sure that YOU are the one that feels blessed by them. God bless!

  61. dudeeee, haters will just be that , haters. They got so much crap and negativity in their life that they themselve exudes negativity. This kind of pics just shove the positivity up their ulcerated rectum. Maybe they should learn proctology since they are already somewhat expert at it. Keep it up Daddy doin work!

  62. W Mitchell says:

    Great work, sir. Often times, it’s not the positive comments that produce the signature that you’re doing right, it’s the negative ones. I think that’s the case here. I cannot fathom the ignorance and hate that one has to maintain to react with even a modicum of negativity to that picture. Inspiring.

  63. Christine says:

    When I saw this the only thing I thought was ‘wow, a baby wearing daddy! We need more of them!’ I still wear my 14 mth old and luckily I don’t get bad comments, but I did notice the other day when my husband was baby wearing that he got a few nasty looks. I think it’s sad that these people feel they need to inflict their self hate onto others! :-(

  64. My husband has been hands on with our 5 children (3 boys, 2 girls) since day one. Three are married adults, 2 not quite grown yet. I believe the close relationship they all have with their dad is a result of his being very active in their daily lives while growing up. Our boys know how to be good husbands and fathers from his example, our girls know what kind of man they want to marry and be the father of their children.
    Keep up the good work you love, the world needs more real men like this!

  65. Shannon W says:

    Amazing – multi-tasking at it’s best. Thank you for posting the picture, and being a good father. There is so much garbage around these days and it’s nice to see & hear about FAMILIES who WANT to be families, and fathers and mothers who love their kids. My husband also loves being with our kids, and I can’t say how thankful I am for that & that there are other Dads out there who are like minded. Have a great day :)

  66. I love the picture ! Carry on and ignore the haters.

  67. VF Johnson says:

    Mantra for the 21st Century: The only race is the Human Race.

  68. Amazing how even a wonderful photo like that can elicit responses that are so ridiculous.
    I too wondered “how the heck could anyone react negatively to this?”

    The commenters above said most of what I wanted to say.
    All I can add is keep doing what you’re doing.

    Committed fathers are a dying breed, and that needs to stop.
    Good dads like you are a great start!

  69. Your kids are adorable and beautiful and so is the attitude that both you and your wife are taking to raising your kids.. do you deserve a parade? I don’t know what else you do with your life so lets go with no, probably not but do you deserve to have a happy, healthy and wonderful family? you betcha and it looks like you do. Enjoy every day.

  70. Thumbs up to the picture, your kids, and your passionate and reasonable response to the ignorance.

  71. I can’t believe this picture garnered anything but comments going ‘aw, what a great dad’. I’m flabberghasted.

    Also, those kids … all I saw was your kids. They just look like… your kids! I suppose I live in Ireland which is predominantly white and only recently anyway culturally diverse, so, maybe I just saw black kids because shades of colour aren’t something I’m sensitive to – unless it’s shades of hideous fake tan-orange. Still, though. There are some people who will just see people in it, and hopefully that goes for most of us.

  72. Jen Burns says:

    When I saw this picture this is what I thought (in order).
    1. That guy is doing a good job at multitasking! I’m a SAHM and I had a hard time doing anything while I was wearing the baby.
    2. What a sweet picture.
    3. That’s nice he’s helping his daughter with her hair.
    4. That guy has some buff arms.
    They were all positive comments.

    Why would people make bad assumptions? I don’t get it.

  73. For the life of me, I could not figure out what was wrong with this picture. I stared and stared. I still can’t find anything wrong. Props to you!

  74. I hope as you do, that someday we’ll look at pictures like these and honestly not give it a second thought. Because it will be completely normal. Keep doing what you’re doing! And check into some cute hairstyle blogs, you’ll need them for those adorable girls!

  75. I didn’t see anything wrong with this picture, and I still don’t. I wish my boyfriend was even half as helpful as you are, and we only have one baby!

    I’m going to honestly say I wasn’t aware there was still that much racism going around, and it’s really upsetting. Not once did I have any doubts about the children being yours, and how was any stranger supposed to know the race of your wife? I had no idea. It doesn’t matter either.
    I thought something bad was done to make this viral negatively, but instead it was just public ignorance. I’m really ashamed.

  76. I was another one who thought it was great having a dad babywearing since my husband won’t (yet).

    I can’t believe that there would be any backlash for this photo. My husband is a hard-working skilled worker and he equally shares the care of our 4-month old son. He feeds him, changes him, is the one to shower with him (only since he showers at night when we’re both home). He does all of the baby-duties that I do without a thought. I always find it strange when his father makes it out to be such a big deal until I remember that back in 1971, this wasn’t the case.

    I’m also shocked at the racism you are experiencing. As a Caucasian woman, I don’t personally experience it and am naive to think that it isn’t as prevalant. I’m sorry that you do, and I’m sorry that I’m not as aware as I should be.

  77. You rock! My husband can get more done while chasing our toddler and wearing our little one in a ergo than I can and I am a stay at home mom. Things of this world can make me so sad sometimes. But I am glad that there are many dads like you, being real and present. Thanks for the sharing of your journey.

  78. It’s kind of a big deal, but only in its awesomeness – a parent managing to take care of two little kids at once. Nicely done! :)

  79. I love this! It just so happens that my husband does a better job with our 3 girls’ hair than I do. He is the go-to guy when they want to go shopping because they know walking into those stores gives me panic attacks. He is just as much a cuddler and hugger as I am, and our three daughters (and one son) still go to him for comfort and advice as much as they come to me. Our kids are now 20, almost 18, and 15 (twins) and they are well-adjusted, beautiful, caring kids because their dad was always as involved in their early childhood years as their mom and he remains that way now. You just keep doin’ what you’re doin’ and bless those beautiful little ones you and your wife have!

  80. I, for one, stand behind you 100% I wonder why some people express negative comments about a father doing a so called “mother’s work” and feel you have some hidden motive. They are small minded idiots! I would only guess it’s because it makes them realize they are seriously lacking in the “man” department! It points out their short comings and that upsets them! I had 3 sons and one daughter. I, as their mother, did as much “father” stuff as I did mother stuff. Nobody questioned me when I was teaching my sons how to play soccer and basketball, or had an issue when I helped coach their youth soccer team and T-ball team or ribbed me when I took them hunting! Why should it be any different for a real father to fix his daughter’s hair? We, as parents, should be involved in ALL aspects of raising our children. I salute you!! (And wonder… Where were you when I needed someone to teach my husband how to do a pony-tail in my daughter’s hair!!”lol)

  81. Funny…

    All I saw was a dad doing what a dad does, not colour and certainly didn’t notice the colour of anyone’s skin.
    I loved this article — anything with MLK is great but tying it into being a dad was brilliant…

    I look forward to more articles from DDW — any chance you are headed to New Orleans for the Dad 2.0 summit at the end of this month?

    Cheers,
    Jeff Hay (from Canada)
    (www.thedadvibe.com)

  82. Nate Fuller says:

    Gettin’ work DONE. I’m one of those stay at home Dad’s, just plugging away and crushing it daily. We have a 2 and half year old girl, a one year old girl and a one week (yes one week) old baby boy.

    At the moment, I take care of the girls all day while Mommy tends to new baby Ryan up stairs. Since last Sunday, I’ve had bacon and eggs up to Mom every morning, along with an assortment of lunches and dinners. She comes down to visit with the girls, but otherwise, she’s got Daddy room service for 5 more weeks.

    Once Mommy is back to work, I’ll be putting my nose to the grind with the 3 kids (under 3 years old) on the daily. We go to an open gym and 2 story times weekly, another day reserved for laundry and one PJ day. Bring. It. On.

  83. What Jen Burns said. Especially the bit about the buff arms! I’m a white Australian living in Papua New Guinea. Maybe it’s me and my experiences of families with mulitcoloured members, but of all the things I thought were going to be a big deal about this photo, the colour of you and your kids wasn’t one.

    And the comment about marrying outside your race? WTF is THAT all about.?

  84. Good on you, DDW!! Your pic is inspiring and touching, both. I too, long for the day when fathers caring for their children are a commonplace sight. I also long for the day when I don’t worry about men interacting with pretty young children because I have had to work with so many women who were molested as children by the men they should have been able to trust. I want to believe that when men build good, strong, solid, caring/loving relationships with their children from birth, they are much less likely to molest them.

    I applaud the work you are doing – with your children and, by extension, educating other men about the joy and value of parenting.

  85. so, the only thing i want proof of is that you can do a “nice, tight ponytail”. that picture is only proof of adorable multi-tasking. granted, at that age, a messy ponytail is still an accomplishment, so never mind. well done daddy.

  86. Jessica Alvarez says:

    I see this and think….lucky daughters who will have extremely high standards for the men in their lives. Wonderful father and husband. Thank you for your example!

  87. Margaret Robinson says:

    As a woman raised by a stay-at-home dad in the 1970s I’m glad to see more guys getting hands-on with parenting.

  88. You, and your family, are awesome. My husband totally ok with baby wearing and little girl hair-doing. I’m amazed it’s so controversial.

  89. This pictures popped up in my FB news feed and the only reason why I clicked on it is, because I couldn’t figure out why that picture would be controversial. I thought maybe people were all outraged over hair spray by the baby or something. lol One thing I have noticed is there are a lot of internet trolls out there. They are insecure in their own lives and are too spineless to ever say anything to anyone in person. They hide behind keyboards and spread negativity. You can’t let them get to you.

    Kudos for being a good dad. I grew up with 2 good dads, my biological father who tried his hardest despite a nasty divorce, and my step dad who always treated me and my brother like we were his own. The good fathers will be re-payed with respect and love by their children (just maybe not during teenage years. lol). The bad fathers will get nothing. Keep doing what you are doing the only approval you need is from your wife and daughters.

  90. T Bennett says:

    The big deal I see is that you’re getting through your daughter’s curls without making her cry. That’s an achievement no matter who does it.

  91. I hadn’t previously seen your picture (I must be living under a rock), but I have to say that what you’re doing right there is one of the most beautiful and caring things I’ve ever seen!! There’s nothing more wonderful than a man comfortable in his role as father! LOVE IT!

    As for the racist remarks… screw the haters: you’ve got a beautiful family! :)

  92. YEAH!!!

  93. Just so you know, your girls will love this. My dad learned how to pull my hair up when I was little, and did it for me all the time. I graduated college with honors, found a job quickly after graduation, and am happily married to the love of my life. My close relationship with my dad only fueled my ambitions and helped me find the wonderful man I am married to now. Keep teaching those girls what kind of man they deserve, it’s worth all the crap other people will give you.

  94. Thank you for your blog and your raw honesty to share the backlash. My jaw did drop at some of the comments. I’m sorry you got hit like this…from one human being to another. It sucks. I agree with the dream that one day a photo like this wont get a parade either. I’m a mom of 2 and wife of a good dad… I know he wants to be better and he tries. Just like I want to be a good mom and I try. I adore the pic. SO cute! My role is in the home and my husbands is in the work field… but parenting is 50/50. Both are parents. My work is domestic and it’s hard. If I don’t get my work done, though I won’t get fired, it will create havoc in my work environment and it will pour into my family life… a home out of control messy will create family chaos. So both jobs are valuable and bring something to the table… but we both need to help with the kids. I’m babbling now… any way… thank you for sharing your “i have a dream” points.

  95. You are the example I want my son to follow.

    cute kids, bet she gave you a big hug for her ponytail

  96. Eric Wong says:

    Black White & Japanese = Beautiful!

  97. I wish my dad would have patiently brushed out my hair like that rather than Mom ripping it out with a fine tooth comb. And that was my first thought looking at your photo. lol. I honestly don’t know what kind of unnatural mental gymnastics someone would have to do to come up with a criticism.

  98. When I saw the photo, my first thought was “Kid-wrangling pro!”

    No one would have said anything if this was a photo of a mom. I think men are upset about this because it makes them look like terrible loser parents in comparison.

  99. My first thought was to chuckle: Looks like he has got his hands full! Anyone who can deal with two kids at the same time gets my sympathy (I am unfortunately not a parent) and my cheers!

  100. Tmartinez says:

    Sir, you are a doing a beautiful job at “daddying”! I didn’t even notice the color of your babies until I read through the blog post and saw some of the comments. Maybe it’s because I’m white and married a wonderful dark skinned Mexican who happens to LOVE being a daddy… and frankly couldn’t wait to become a daddy, that I never took notice of their wonderfully colored biracial skin :) As a friend of mine once said: biracial = beautiful! Keep on keepin’ on and loving those kiddos!
    PS: My husband does a better job at getting my daughters hair ready for school than I do… she actually prefers him!

  101. Maryanne Tackett says:

    I did not notice the color of the children’s skin when I first looked at the picture what I saw was a dad being a good father and brushing her daughters hair well keeping the baby happy at the same time that’s what other people should see too…..regardless of the fact that he is the childrens father should not be a question because regardless of whether somebody is or is not a child’s father regardless of what dna says DNA don’t make you a father some men are better fathers than those who choose to have a baby and not stick around and just be a sperm doaner this man loves his children and is a wonderful father

  102. Doyin~I’m walking around with a smile on my face after reading your post. I am blessed to be married to the best dad of 6 kids EVER!!! I am so happy to hear that there are others like him out there. I believe my kids are better people because of their dad and the sacrifices he’s made to be home for every event in their life. Keep daddyin’. You’re doing a great job!! God bless! ~Linda

  103. Margarett the Midwife says:

    Your wife and children are blessed beyond measure!! I wish I had been raised by a man like you, maybe I would not have made the mistakes I have with men in my past. my first two daughters learned to NOT choose a man like their dad, your daughters will never settle for anything less than their dad!! Good job Mr. Richards!! Wish I could find a man like you!! Of any color!

  104. My thought when I saw the image? I wish my son would let me brush his hair. Just so you know, I honestly did have no idea what was either great or terrible about this image until I read the article. For some people, at least, the only thing this said to me was Oh, look, someone posted a picture of themselves with their daughters. How nice.

    Having read the article… clearly your a loving dad, and clearly some people are just stupid. Hope the rest of your new year is as filled with happiness and love as this picture suggests you were at that moment.

  105. Christina says:

    I thought nothing but positive thoughts when I seen this picture. Here is a guy who looks very “manly”, but isn’t afraid to strap on an Ergo and fix his daughter’s hair. I think it’s an awesome photo. You represent fatherhood well. :)

  106. Race, MLK, haters and all that jazz aside…

    From your blog and pics I gather that you love your kids and wife, doing what it takes as good heartedly as possible to see your family blossom and grow. Nothing else matters in my book… not race, not blind/cold people, not a damn thing. What I see is children that will grow up to love and respect their father & mother and a wife who loves a man with all her heart because she KNOWS you have a good heart and were meant to be the man she had a family with. I see fulfillment and love, pure and simple.

    BTW, #TeamGrownAssMan… this should be a real movement. right beside #TeamAppreciativeAssWomen because the negativity between men and women has grown so immensely that neither can be considered the better gender..It’s a side-by-side effort; they work together to raise their family in love and harmony… with respect for each other and a desire to do right by their spouse in every way possible. It’s a WIN/WIN situation! Then you can be part of #TeamTrueLove and pass those values to the children born of that love and respect.

    Could I be wrong about him and the Haters, Racists, Pessimists be right? Maybe… but I’m doing what those people are not. Taking this man at his word and using it as inspiring my faith in humanity once more. Keep on Keeping on Mr. & Mrs. Richards. Your children will be blessed by your great efforts and heart.

  107. Pete Mackiewicz says:

    Man,

    I want to say that I am a white male and a father. I felt a lot of sadness when I’ve read reactions to your picture post. I felt a connection with your writing as I’m a father of a 7 year old daughter. I’m thankful for your post. I recognize that today I am not judged same as other men of different color than me. This was an example that painted a clear picture of this to me.

    I liked what you wrote here:
    “I love being a dad and I love sharing my love of fatherhood with others. Shit, being a dad is one of the few things in life I’m actually good at. Of course I’m going to be passionate about this gig. My dream is that ALL people will embrace men who embrace fatherhood instead of wondering if they have ulterior motives. Remember, we’re the good guys in this fight.”

    I appreciate that you are doing something that you feel passionate about in spite of judgments received from others. Keep on posting.

    Pete Mackiewicz
    Wisconsin

  108. I almost would have been able to hang in there with you if you hadn’t gone the Martin Luther King route. You don’t know one other thing he said. Nothing. His fight for equality was not so you could feign indignation and outrage because you chose to marry a non-Black woman and act as if there aren’t centuries of racism and oppression that went into your choice. Is it anyone’s business who you marry and have children with? Nope. Are you Exceptional Dad 2014 because you did your daughter’s hair while caring for your other? Yeah, you are pretty rare but that’s not award worthy. To use Martin Luther King as your litmus negates the entire thing for me because he was not all Kumbayah and Can’t We All Just Get Along. It was lazy of you to take that route and shows just how knew jerk and conditioned your responses about race are.

  109. Lee And Fred Shields (Indianapolis) says:

    First and foremost, I am so sorry you received one single negative comment. The comments you used as examples made me want to throw up. My husband is African American and I am Caucasian, so we completely get the kind of racially derogatory backlash you received. My husband is, as well, an active participate in raising our 5 children. In fact, I’ll even humble myself to say, some days, he does more than I do. He exclusively does the laundry (in fact, I’m not allowed to touch laundry!) and religiously, he is often up past 1am being sure the kids have clothes to wear for school the next day. This is just an example of his dedication to our kids, three of which AREN’T EVEN biologically ours! I am so blessed, AS IS your wife. Needless to say, it’s so sad and pathetic the negativity is so rampant, let alone the racism . Like Keith said above, I admire your passionate and reasonable response to this ignorance. Keep on inspiring, and being the wonderful person and father you are!

  110. Your kids are adorable and I think they look like you!

  111. Tony Wegmann says:

    You are more of an inspiration to future fathers that want to have kids. I’d strangle these ignorant fools if I could get away with it, but that’s not setting an example I suppose. As long as a father knows he’s doing a good job, then screw the naysayers. I look up to you man, thank you for this.

  112. A-W-E-S-O-M-E Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  113. Speaking My Mind says:

    I’m 100% black and I’ll tell you black people are SOOOOOOOOOO RACIST!!!!! I have a lot of white friends and a lot of white friends. Really every race. And i’ve dated only black girls growing up, but always like girls in general, dated, asian, white, latino and everything in between. But black girls or some black people in particular always wanted to be vocal. SOMEHOW THAT’S NOT RACIST? but if a WHITE person ever says that about ANY black interracial couple? ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE!!!

    If you truly believe in FREEDOM, and EQUALITY like MLK and Civil Right activists fought for ANY MAN or WOMAN can date/marry whomever they feel. black people stop being racist against your own racist, and white people those of you who are racist stop being racist. NOT EVERYONE of any race is racist.

  114. A friend linked this on Facebook, and at first I thought, “Aww, what a sweet picture!” Then I noticed the description, particularly the words, “viral outrage.” I had to read the post to figure out what caused such an outrage. I still don’t quite get why people would be so angry and judgmental over a dad, or a man trusted by the family, spending quality time with 2 little girls in an activity as innocent as putting hair into a ponytail for school.

    Good for you for taking a stand to hateful responses! Your daughters are adorable, by the way!

  115. When I first saw this picture, I had looked at it to see what the fuss was about. My first thought was, “Oh, a dad holding a baby in a carrier and doing his daughter’s hair.” Nothing else even came to my mind…I had to read the article to find out why people were lashing out about it. I wish my husband would do my daughter’s hair! I work once a week and I have to get her hair done before I leave or she goes to school with a rat’s nest!

  116. Lorri Vallese says:

    Doyin, thank you for your post and your rant. Ignorant people hide behind their social media outlets in fear. I have a wonderful husband that has been the better half of our team to raise our disabled daughter who is now 28. He had to do many things that friends have said to me their husbands would never do. A good person (man or woman) will do all they can to help their child. I applaud you and your beautiful family. You are a real man and a truly great person. Thank you.

  117. Charlotte says:

    Awesome post!

  118. This is excellent. I was having the conversation just the other day with my stay at home husband about how people are always saying what an amazing Dad he is because he did night feeds, changes nappies, does school runs and all the regular stuff a parent would do. We notes how, while nice, it’s really sad that a Dad gets considered amazing for doing all the things a Mum would normally do. He says it makes him feel uncomfortable that he is considered anything special for standard tasks (including by me, as the father of my eldest 2 is a complete douche).

    Keep up the good word flying the flag for Dad’s doing the right thing!

  119. I was raised by a single father back in the ’70s/’80s when it was a real rarity and I was lucky enough to marry a man who was a better parent than I. I applaud you and all of the men out there who do what’s right and actually participate in raising their kids. You understand what all of the uninvolved Dads are missing and are so much the luckier for it (and so are your kids).

  120. As I mother, I find that photo absolutely adorable and inspiring. Anyone who doesn’t like it must be jealous or just a nasty person! Please take lots more photos like this. It made my day! :)

  121. This is so refreshing. As long as I can remember, I have been EXCITED to be a dad. I can’t wait to have a family, can’t wait to love and help grow my children. Heck, I have been thinking about parenting seriously since early high school. Sadly, even though I’ve grown up in a Christian environment, I have met very few fathers that show the level of love and commitment you have and that I aim toward.

    Thank you for sharing despite what others have said.

    • Elvia Gomez says:

      BRAVO! You are a great example of what fatherhood is. It’s just doing what your supposed to do to make sure your children are happy and healthy. Keep on keepin on my friend. :)

  122. YES!!! I agree with you wholeheartedly. I love that you are a Daddy just doing your thing. You hit the nail on the head with the line, “the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones”. The things they said are appalling. White, black, asian, hispanic, male, female, WHATEVER, the thing that matters is what you are DOING, because that is what your children will follow. Good for you for being a DOER.

  123. Cliff Fonseca says:

    AWESOME!!! CONGRATULATIONS AND KEEP THE GREAT PARENT WORK UP!! I still don’t have children of my own, but man, you do inspire me. This is the kind of dad I want my future kids to have. I am definitely with you about parenting being 50/50 among spouses. Great job.

    Sadly, remember that haters will always hate, because that is the only thing they seem to know how to do.

    One again, great job, congrats and God bless!! Kudos from a Latino (me)!!

  124. Michelle Madison says:

    Wow so empowered by your blog. I can honestly say I do categorize people… Which I shouldn’t and your blog really opened my eyes. People should really view other people as people and not the color of their skin. Every child deserves a loving family and a chance at a good life. Its hard that so many people are angry and therefore become racist because of that anger. Or movies depict a certain culture.. How can we go forward? How can we make Dr. King’s dream a reality?? no matter what there will always be haters. You keep on doing yo thing and let those negative comments role off your back. There are more positive then negative.. in the end you cant make everyone happy. God Bless

  125. the picture is adorable. the critics are idiots. don’t let them get you down.

  126. I think your picture is adorable. I didn’t think anything of it and completely shocked anyone would!

  127. Nothing to see here, just a dad doing dadly-type things, as it should be
    Shine on

  128. I love you!

  129. Thank you for posting this; my dad was my primary caregiver when I was growing up…and I was born in 1963, the year of Dr. King’s speech. My mom worked nights, so my dad was there if I got sick in the middle of the night; he made my breakfast and walked me to kindergarten, and he made my lunch. My mom did a lot, too, of course, but I saw my dad the most because my mom had to sleep during the day. And let me say that later in life, when I was a teenager, he never acted all like a shotgun dad either – that kind of dad who wants to know every little detail about any boy I dated. He told me that he trusted my good judgment, and I can tell you that this approach made me a much smarter and independent young woman than I would have been if my dad had acted all stereotypically.

    Thank you for being yourself, and thanks to your wife, as well – you two seem to have a great team work thing going, and I applaud you for it.

  130. This is so nice to hear and thank you. Thank you for saying the bar should be set just as high for Dads as it is for Moms. Thank you from a wife who has a husband who feels the same way you do.

  131. I guess I look @ a pic like this and think..he is a dad. I mean this was how my dad was. This is how my husband is. I am one the few woman that do not go all googly eyed over something a grown man should do. I mean this is life right? beautiful family b.t.w ..Jen

  132. Wow! Maybe I’m so naive but i can’t believe all the awful comments people said about this lovely picture, and I totally agree that even though this picture it’s awesome, it shouldn’t come to a surprise to anyone because parenting goes both ways and if a mom did it, it would be expected but if a dad did it, it would be a surprise. I once found my husband folding laundry with our baby in the ergo baby sleeping, i thought it was cute but my friends found it incredible. I expect that sort of thing from him cause he is an involved dad like all dad and moms should be.

    Great blog post, it made my day! Congrats on your beautiful kids, parenting is so much fun!

  133. I had to read your blog to see what the big deal was. So on one hand, I’m sorry you had to write it. On the other hand, be happy that yes, there are those of us who already get it, and you need to hear from us as well. Good luck, daddy!

  134. Psh, any moron should be able to tell just looking at the pic that those are obviously your kids and you obviously know what you’re doing – just look at that beautiful little girl’s curly hair – if you were just staging a pic to look good or had borrowed someone else’s kids, she wouldn’t be standing there calmly, and you’d have no idea how to deal with her hair. The both of you clearly have plenty of practice together and there’s no way a wee girlie like that would stand still for some clueless dude who’d never brushed a kid’s hair yanking on her locks just to take a picture.

    Keep up the good Daddying. There should be more men like you. :)

  135. Brittany T. says:

    As a young woman who is still looking to find the right partner it is refreshing and amazing that there are still men who aspire to be great daddys. You rock! The picture is absolutely adorable. Please post more!

  136. Clinton Smith says:

    I think what this young father is doing is wonderful.
    I’m not a father myself, but it is indeed a blessing if you are one.
    For those of you who are not taking the opportunity to be the best
    dad you can be, shame on you. Your kids need you now not later
    when it’s to late. Get involved like this young man who stepped up
    as a father should. Dr. King would want this for all of us regardless
    of skin color. For skin color doesn’t matter in the eyes of a child.

  137. Taylor Marie says:

    First time I’ve read your work but I’m already a fan. I didn’t understand what could possibly be controversial about the picture. I for one thing am continually impressed with how my husband interacts and teaches my daughter on a daily basis. Gender, race, sexual preference, etc have nothing to do with how good a parent you are or can be. I’m glad you wrote this blog to open the eyes of some close minded people.

  138. I’m really sorry people are so ignorant. When I saw the picture I assumed it was a dad fixing his older daughter’s hair with his younger daughter in the “pouch.” Couldn’t understand why people would have a bad reaction.

    Just remember that the ones who say the dumbest things are the dumbest people.

    Your daughters are beautiful!

  139. Well played, sir.

  140. Looks like your babies are growing up in a house full of love – you can’t do much better than that! Loved this post – I look forward to reading more!

  141. I’m not a dad myself, but if I were, I hope I’d take as good care of my kids as you do. Baffled that anybody found something hateful to say about that picture.

  142. Doyin,
    To me, it’s like the Bible (Koran, Torah, etc.): If it’s the Truth, it’s a wonderful thing. If it’s not, it’s still a wonderful idea. Assuming it’s real (I have no reason to doubt you), kudos for your caring spirit!

  143. You go Dad! This world would be so much better if more “men” would take the time to be real fathers. Keep up the good work and never step out of your childrens lives.

  144. I had to read the article to find out what all the outrage was about. My reaction to the photo was: “Oh, how clever.” Aside from that, it all looks pretty normal. Of course, my husband has always seen parenting as part of his job and did his share of diapers, meals, bathing, homework help, driving and everything else. That is how it is supposed to work. As for the color of their skin, my kids don’t resemble me very closely. Big deal. “Its never a sin to love. The sin is in the lack of it.” Mary MacGregor in Rob Roy

  145. Skin color or social status has nothing to do with being a great Dad, who cares what insecure Men or Women that don’t have a Man like this for their children have to say. We will keep doing what we do and raising children that know they are loved, and although the World is a rough place they will not have Daddy issues….I really think Men that are posting negative things really are just jealous because the know that being a great Father is the ultimate attraction for most Women, and although many of those out there pretend to be, the children and smart Women always know the difference….

  146. All I have to say is: you’re awesome. My dad also loves being a dad and had no problem going shopping with his three daughters, sitting through our sports events and putting our hair in ponytails when we were little kids. I wish more men felt passionate about parenting in the way you expressed. Excellent post!!

  147. Okay, as a white woman with a deadbeat dad (yes, I brought my race into this to make a point that white folks can be deadbeat too.) I thought it was a cute picture when I saw it on facebook, and when I read it, I was nearly in tears. I didn’t even notice your children weren’t “all black”. I don’t think that matters (married to a Mongolian, myself). Keep up the good work, man, keep it up, and keep posting it.

  148. ROCK ON, FATHER! Always good to see a real man doing real man’s work: Loving his kids. Good to “meet” another Dad who is all in. My kids are being run in a 50/50 household by a stay-at-home dad, and guess what? They are both smart, talented, loving humans. Boom.

    Keep up the great work. You have a new follower.

    My best to you –

    Dan Klass
    The Bitterest Pill podcast
    http://www.thebitterestpill.com

  149. whats wrong with this picture? i dont wanna read that long article…

    but reading thru the comments im guessing people are upset that a man is combing his daughters hair…
    now thats just odd, i dont understand who would make such a big deal out of this, someone has too much time on their hands…

  150. I think you are beyond amazing. My dad would do my hair on occasion, play barbies with me, and do other probably “nonmanly” things…. however being an amazing dad is probably the most manly thing a guy can do!

  151. I’ll tell you what. I had no idea about the firestorm surrounding this pic. I looked at it, and just thought it was the cutest picture I’ve seen in a long time! It’s a shame that people can’t keep gender and racial stereotypes out of this. Although. now that I think about it, I guess I’m guilty of it, as well. If this were more of a “norm,” or a picture of a mom, would I have found it so endearing? Probably not. I’m still not sure if I want to say that I hope it becomes less so in the future. Maybe more that I hope that people will get the warm fuzzies seeing a mom do it, just as much as they won’t be shocked in seeing a dad do it.

    Boy, we’ve got a long way to go, don’t we!

    P.S.
    If this is you angry, you must be close to sainthood. I don’t usually laugh while reading a rant(at least one that makes sense!). 😉

  152. I can only hope that when we welcome a girl into this world that my husband is just as attentive and loving as you seem to be. Bravo to you and your lucky family. Forget all those to full of spite, ignorance and hate who take something so simple and loving and turn it into something race related, because it seems as if you have built one incredible life for you and your children. Thank you for posting this and the storm it created, because it reminds us that there’s still so much work to be done.

  153. Gina Powers says:

    Dude, you ROCK! BIG respect to you, and nevermind the haters! Keep doing what you do! We need more men like you–never underestimate the impact of great daddies!! :) You are an inspiration!!

  154. “These behaviors should be expected of moms and dads. No exceptions.”

    Awesome! Thanks to you and good parents everywhere.

  155. Reading this made me want to start blogging about how much I love my kids and being their Papa now. Keep up the good work my man. I couldn’t imagine being any other way than I am. People like to act like you have some motive or incentive for being such an active/loving father. The truth is this came 100% natural,there is no other way for me to be and the motive and payoff is the relationship and love of my children. Thanks.

  156. Joel Bwana says:

    I am glad I read this. I am currently doing a study about Interracial Marriages in USA. This is for my Independent study. I hope commenters could take time to take the survey. It is not perfectly written, but that’s why I am a student :). For the blogger, thumbs up!
    Here is the link to the survey:
    http://freeonlinesurveys.com/s.asp?sid=9er7i1wunm7wrv5394954

  157. I had to skim thru the article to find out what could possibly cause “outrage” in this pic. Looks like a lot of trolls to me. Playing on male stereotypes and race just to get a reaction, but not actually caring or even believing what they’ve said in their own comment. Just gotta let it roll off your back. Basement dwelling losers with nothing better to do with their time than to try to make strangers fight over thing that don’t warrant it. It’s a cute pic, that’s all. It’s not even odd to see a man doing for his baby girls, at least, not to me.

  158. I had to skim thru the article to find out what could possibly cause “outrage” in this pic. Looks like a lot of trolls to me. Playing on male stereotypes and race just to get a reaction, but not actually caring or even believing what they’ve said in their own comment. Just gotta let it roll off your back. Basement dwelling losers with nothing better to do with their time than to try to make strangers fight over things that don’t warrant it. It’s a cute pic, that’s all. It’s not even odd to see a man doing for his baby girls, at least, not to me.

  159. Teresa Duckworth says:

    First of all, your children are absolutely adorable. And huge props to you for being a real dad. I was raised in a loving family and was lucky enough to have a dad that was super involved in everything I did. And I truly believe I’m a better person because of it.

    My dad passed away before he could walk me down the aisle. Before he could hold his grandbaby. Before he could even meet my husband. I was with my dad for the last two weeks of his life – caring for him and telling him I loved him every chance I got. Your daughters are lucky to have you in their life as predominantly as you are – and they will be closer to you because of it!

    Keep up the good work!

  160. I think that this is a wonderful picture! It brings me back to the days when my mom was working late and my dad would do mine and my sister’s hair. It is so refreshing to see a man taking on what is considered a “woman’s” role. Don’t listen to the negative comments! Your daughter is going to appreciate these moments with you as she gets older. I know my dad and I still talk about doing my hair and how funny it was (he only had two hair styles, side pony or top pony) to this day :)

  161. Id bet my last 2 dollars that white dudes wrote those comments.

    • Matt Windsor says:

      I’m about as white as they come, and trust me when I say I’d be standing at the head of the line of those waiting to hand out beatings to those who made ANYTHING other than positive comments about Doyin. A good father’s a good father, regardless of color.

      But thanks for the sarcasm. *sigh*

    • Keep fanning those racist fires Bot…

  162. Marie Green says:

    I must be dense and color blind. When I saw the picture just now all I saw was a good dad. I never noticed all the rest. Good post by the way.

  163. Jen Erhart says:

    My brother is a full time stay at home dad of one boy and three little girls. I know for a fact that he does stuff like this every day. I only wish I had a picture of him doing what you are doing in this pic. It belongs framed on your wall. Sir, you have my respect.

  164. I saw the photo and only had 2 thoughts… adorable photo and I have the same shower curtain! I love the back story leading up to taking it too, sounds like something my husband would do! It really is sad that a picture like this could stir up that much drama :(

  165. Hats off! Brilliant job! We both admire you and hope one day follow ur foot steps!:)
    it’s easy to criticize ppl…How can ppl tke this cute pix in any other way – heights! God bless ur wonderful family! amen!

  166. Congrats on picking a path of fatherhood that will enrich EVERY day of your life for the rest of your life. I made the same choice and now that my children are adults- my daughter has two children of her own – I continue to experience the rich blessings that being such a huge part of their lives EVERY DAY as they grew up afford and grace me. What an intelligent, mature choice you’ve made – may your life unfold in the blessings that your choice will inevitably reward you with ( I know prepositions shouldn’t end a thought but there you go!)

  167. I will put forth the notion that the internet is full of “trolls” who have nothing better to do than leave disparaging comments about things that have nothing to do with them, or that challenge their mindset about certain things. A great many people get a rush out of being argumentative, or even abusive, and certainly negative.

    The way to battle that, is to ignore them as much as you can. Attempting to “defend” yourself against them only serves to fuel the fire the trolls are attempting to fan. Call them out, certainly, but don’t feel you have to explain anything just because you see a number of people misrepresenting or purposefully misinterpreting the awesome things you are doing in your life.

    Keep on being the awesome father you are. But don’t take anything you read on the internet personally, unless it is wholly positive and not critical of the original impetus of whatever it is that you express.

  168. You have just won yourself a new fan. I can certainly appreciate this photo. You actually reminded me of my hubby and my dad. He did me and my sister’s hair ONE time (and since we were old enough to insist he take us to someone else, we did lol). I completely agree with your message. You keep doing what you do! Your girls will thank you for it later on.

  169. People are outraged if a black man is a ‘deadbeat dad’ and they are outraged when his is actually taking care of his children! Do you see this, people!! It must be exhausting to never feel satisfied with your own opinions. And PS- Aren’t we living in 2014?? Enough male chauvinism and racism.

  170. stephan rose says:

    Expertly written!!

  171. You rock. Just keep doing what you’re doing. I try every day to be as good of a father and husband as you are. I hope I succeed.

  172. This is the first blog I have ever read of yours. And I think your absolutely awesome!!! I respect you as a father and only hope that when the time comes for me to have children with my boyfriend that he’s half the dad you are!! I know he will be an amazing father bc I see how he is with our nephew & other children we know… The haters out there are ignorant idiots that have no respect or enough love in there hearts to even comprehend the passion you have for your kids. They’ll never get it, never understand that type of LOVE. so congrats to you for being the best father you could be and loving every minute of it. Kudos to you my friend. Keep up the good work!!! The more you do, the more others will try harder to be like you.
    Thank you

    E

  173. I think I loved every word that was typed in this post, and it only got better as I read on. This is extremely humbling, and I’m praying that people learn something from what you have demonstrated here. Great work, and thank you for this shining example of hope that I’m afraid is dwindling in our society.

  174. Real talk, I wish my dad knew how to comb hair when I was a little girl. Good job!

  175. I thought this picture was the most beautiful thing I have seen on the internet all week. Probably all month. Maybe even longer. A man who loves his kids is amazing, sweet and downright sexy (no disrespect to my spouse or yours.) They should put this in the cover of GQ. I also have one of ‘these’ husbands. He adores his son and let’s everyone know it. Your blog should be required reading material for new dads. Ignore the haters. You know the truth and so does your family which is “you rock!”

  176. I’m expecting our second daughter any day now. Looking forward to taking pictures a lot like this one. One of the lines I really liked is “the dumbest ones are usually the loudest.” I feel that sentiment all over the place. Thanks for the perspective and the down to earth tone.

  177. You go Dad!! There is nothing better in this world than a great dad than one who is proud of it! The internet is so full of idiots, don’t let them get to you. They’d never have the balls to say that stuff to your face. The only people you have to please are the ones you already know. My hats off to you!

  178. Seeing pictures like this makes me happy for the way dad raised us. My dad had a divorce when I was three and my sister was five. The man had to work full time, as both a father, and a job. Even though he had to pull 50 to 60 hour days, he still managed to give time to us and helped to be a part of our lives. This man is doing the best he can, so props to him. Those kids will remember these little things, I sure do.

  179. Love it .. good fathers are so important, you are an inspiration, ignore the haters ! :)

  180. I was going to post something really lengthy, but instead I’ll go with: you’re freaking awesome, and you deserve much respect and praise for being so awesome.

  181. I am also married to one of your kind – a great dad. We have two little girls and my husband does it all. He even paints their toe nails. I consider myself so blessed to have a real man who embraces the role of fatherhood.

  182. Jennifer H says:

    Before I read the article, I thought it had something to do with the brush (i.e. perhaps it wasn’t a brush, I couldn’t tell) then maybe the baby carrier? The skin tone of the children was never a factor in my analysis of the picture. Great picture!

  183. Jason Garza says:

    When or if I have children I hope to be half the father you are. I always felt that was missing in my life and fear I won’t know how to be a good father because I never saw it first hand. When or If I have to rise to the challenge I hope you are still here so I can see how it is done right . Way to break both stereotypes that is power rising above what people feel you can’t do. You are an inspiration.

  184. Amen. A friend linked to this post on her FB page and I had to read the article to understand what the alleged “big deal” was. I actually thought I had overlooked some aspect of this photograph – but nope, it was just the dregs of humanity resurfacing once again (in the responses this picture, not the picture itself obviously). Thanks for such an encouraging perspective. One of the best gifts we can give our kids is the full attention, love, and involvement of *both* parents.

  185. Thank you , thank you, thank you. I really enjoyed this post. You are the epitome of what I want in my future husband and father to my children. My father did this for me, as a single parent most of the time. You are a great dad, and it is your daughters that will one day truly profit from this relationship. :)

  186. Thank you! I’m sending this link to my Daddy to thank him for being a wonderful father! He, like you, is fantastic and passionate about Daddying and still (I’m now 30) really good at it!

  187. Andre Spell says:

    I just don’t understand why race has anything to do with taking care of your kids? Brother I share that same dream, it’s time for all men to get back to the basics and be fathers and not some babies daddy/sperm donor! I applaud you and encourage you to continue to show that small percentage what a real man and a real father looks like…

  188. Wow, now that’s a good man/husband/father! Your wife must adore you! You’re a role model. And while this should be the norm, its sadly not. So, thank you for being so strong and courageous. I know you are reaping the longterm benefits of your wise decisions. May God continue to bless you and your familly 😉

  189. Alex James says:

    You’ve earned a fan today, sir. I’m a father of a toddler myself, and while I’ve never experienced the kind of bullshit you had to put up with thanks to this (very impressive) picture, I have seen and experienced some weirdness about “daddying” (great term), especially when I was still doing the stay-at-home dad gig. As far as I’m concerned you’re a great role model to fathers everywhere who could use some pointers, and definitely a boon to those of us already trying to live the gig the way you’ve suggested. It’s deeply, deeply moving to me that there are other men out there normalizing the concept of a caring, emotionally available, CAPABLE dad. You’re the man.

  190. My brother is a stay-at-home dad to my 4 year-old niece now that he’s been medically retired from the Army after sustaining serious injuries while serving his country. He does this all the time and none of his friends in or out of the military ever downplay his home efforts. He’s always doing my niece’s hair and has gotten quite good at it – we call him “The Zohan” now. Men and other people who are jealous of a loving father have their own unresolved daddy issues and need to address that shortness in their own lives instead of downplaying someone else’s heartfelt and loving efforts to positively mentor and raise their kids.

  191. stacy allen says:

    i am beyond horrified at the ugly comments you received! i saw the picture and just fell in love with it….my first thought was how awesome to see a dad wanting to be ‘hands-on’ with the daily part of raising kids and doing their hair no less! i encourage you to keep doing what you are doing and don’t listen to the haters. the world definitely needs more dads like you!

  192. Interesting. I am 71 year old white male. What I saw was a Dad brushing his daughter’s hair. That’s all there is to see. I’m glad his wife enjoyed it.

  193. Kelly Peterson says:

    Good for you for saying the things that need to be said! I applaud you for truly living up to the dream that Dr. King had. You’re an amazing black man who loves and takes an active role in his wife and children’s lives. I appreciate that you are addressing the people who are putting you down because of their own stupid insecurities. Keep up the great work!

  194. Christine says:

    When I saw that there was controversy on this picture I was confused. I love seeing men wearing their babies. I in fact think it is sexy! When a man loves his children so much that he is willing to put aside the cultural stereotypes aside and show it. Kudos to you that you love your girls so much and show it. Plus, it is very impressive that you can do a tight pony tail!

  195. Steve Kruzich says:

    @Bot, does it matter if it was a white dude, black dude or a purple dude? The fact that it was said is testament to the idiocy of people in general.

    Now on to the author of this blog. Awesome! i am 52, raised my boys up already and they have grown to be fine young men. One is a father and is pretty good with his son as time allows him as he is in the Marine Corp and gone most of the time.

    But having raised mine, i have to say you do it not for these fools out here that piss away their chance at having the best relationship for their sons and daughters, but for your relationship with yours. They are the only ones that matter! You’ll be the old man in years to come who has kids that still come to see you and still celebrate the times you spend with them as they spend them with you bringing you their kids to spend time with you.
    You my friend will not die a lonely old man. I am truely glad that you are able to take off a month or whatever time you can to be with them. That is a blessing. I was not so lucky. had to feed the kids raising them on my own.
    Keep it up. You’ll be blessed many times over in the years to come and when the kids do try you in their teenage years just remember the time spent now will come back to you later on. They will not forget even though most kids lose their brains at 13 and don’t get them back til 26. LOL Seriously, they will reward you with lots of love. Thats all that matters.

  196. I have a dream that when people write long articles where they can clearly fit full words, they don’t use abbreviations – or at LEAST explain what those abbreviations are instead of ignorantly assuming people understand and causing them to have to look up EVERY SINGLE ONE. But overall, good post. Needs work, but good.

  197. Steve Kruzich says:

    To everyone here, that has their dads in their lives, give em a call often. They miss you and they love you. I lost my dad when i was 35 years old, and miss him greatly. He was only 56 years old. Make sure to never let a week go by that you talk to him. You never know when God will call him home.

  198. Apparently I’m missing something – I cannot figure out why anyone would have a problem with this picture. I looked at it and just thought, “Oh, dad’s doing her hair”. Differences is skin color between the three people just did. not. register.

    Oh, and FWIW, I’m not a dad and I’m a middle-aged white guy. Not sure if that matters or what. But apparently there are some folks that it would matter to. *shrug* Some people need to get a life and stop worrying about what others are doing. Looks to me like the kiddies are in good hands, and isn’t that what counts?

  199. I saw the picture on FB and had to click the link to find out why it was causing outrage because I couldn’t see anything wrong.

  200. * NEWS FLSH: PARENT FIXES CHILDS PONYTAIL WHILE BABY SLEEPS IN ATTACHED HARNESS*

    WOW, what kudos and kafuffle this one simple act has received!
    Why do MEN receive such “browny points” ANYTIME they do ANYTHING that involves caring for their children/family/home?…….don’t even start me!

  201. Amy Jones says:

    After i had my first child people used to always say to me (in a shocked way) that my husband was such a good dad “because he was there”. He did much more than just be there but i got this comment frequently enough that i finally took notice. In todays society its very very sad that what is considered to be a good father is one whos “there”. Why are we not shocked when a guy takes off, or doesnt pay support? I hope fathers like you and my daughters father start getting proper recognition for parenting rather than shock for being there.
    Btw im black and hes white…so there…boom.

  202. I love this! Here’s to all the involved dads out there! The world would be such a better place if all kids had one.

  203. Those reactions seem less like dad-hating and more like racial profiling…sad, very sad. Live and let live! Family first!

  204. Wow-I am stunned. I had to read the article. A friend posted this photo on FB linking to this article. I couldn’t figure out why this photo, though adorable, would go viral.
    Obviously society still has a long way to go. Your children are lucky to have such loving parents.
    ~SN

  205. I looked at this picture and only saw one thing: a great father.

    The people hating on this image need to get their heads out of their testosterone-filled asses and actually follow this example.

  206. Engineer_Girl says:

    I think your set up there (baby on carrier) while doing your daughter’s hair is epic, logical, and brilliant, and whomever finds this photograph disturbing (or makes racist remarks) should hang their head in shame. If I walked in and saw this, I would build us the most beautiful home and coolest toys for you guys to play with, a playground in the back, and would reciprocate this loyalty tenfold. You would also be a massive part of my life, and would be so proud. Any woman who does not appreciate this should get their heads checked! God bless and carry forth your message!

  207. I can’t believe the nasty comments! I’m sorry people said such hateful things. People seem to think that just because they don’t use the “N” word that they aren’t racist. I think you rock and I’m sure your wife and mother are incredibly proud of you!

  208. How awesome, love the story and picture. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who is an amazing father to our daughter and a awesome husband. He is a great role model on how men should treat women. He works hard, spends quality time with our daughter, laughs along with us, helps her with her homework, encourages her to be the best she can be. How lucky your daughters and your wife are! Bless you.

  209. Kara west says:

    That is an adorable picture!! I think it is great you are a dedicated dad, the father of my youngest is great with both of my kids. Keep up the good work of making Daddydom the norm, instead of something that is so rare people are in shock.

  210. I looked at this from a different perspective. My brother, who was a terrific dad, passed away a few months ago. At his memorial is one and only child, a daughter, shared stories of her Dad spoiling her, exploring the world with her, carrying her in a front pack, 30 years ago which were the dark ages compared to today. These memories are sustaining her.
    My son paints his daughters toenails, and she does his and then they play Barbie. She’s a special needs child and he is a great Daddy and will always be there for her.
    My children’s stepfather has been there for my children all these years, so much better than their bio dad and they appreciate him and love him.
    I love that you are sharing your stories and pictures of your daddy-ing. You will be a carrying them in your arms forever.

  211. I came to this page after it was shared by friends on Facebook. I was confused why the image would go viral. I am caucasian, I am a father. When I saw this picture I thought “Damn, I wish I could cut my kid’s hair, too.” Just an FYI I cut my own hair while in the military, but I doubt my son wants a “high-and-tight”! Do your thang’ man — and thanks for speaking-up against this ignorant racial hostility.

  212. My husband is also a fantastic dad and has done my little girls hair many times when I was going to nursing school and so many more (what some would say) mom tasks. It’s what a family is all about, working together! Neither a mom or a dad are above doing any job for one another or their children. You are a great dad, their will always be jealous, guilt stricken haters. Let them wallow in their unhappiness and shallow minded lives and press on being the amazing husband and father that you are! Yeah for good people!

  213. My dad did the same for us growing up, and darn it, I appreciate you! I’m the daughter of a father with two daughters, and I married a man who’s also willing to brave a ponytail. Now if only I can get my dad to teach him the french braid…nobody can get one nearly as tight as my old man! Good on you. Keep it up. Keep inspiring other dads.

  214. It is a big deal. Anytime any parent steps up and takes care of their child, the way a child should be cared for, it is a big deal. Also, I didn’t see the colour of his skin in the pic until other pointed it out. What I see is a Dad stepping up and caring for the greatest gifts he will ever receive. Good job!!!

  215. Christina Chapman says:

    I am so sorry you are receiving such hateful comments. I look at the pic and simply see a dad being a great Dad and showing his kids love. That is all that people should see. We live in such a hateful, racist and arrogant society. Props to you for being a great dad. Your girls will benefit greatly from such care and kindness from their father!

  216. I had to come and read this because I wondered what the “this” was that people were freaking out about. It was funny because when I read your blog, I had to go back up and look at you and your daughters because of the race comments (I didn’t notice your races at all- “matching”, not matching, what your skin color was at all). I didn’t even think it was odd because you were a man. Anyway, perhaps I’m just not tremendously observant, or perhaps there are a bunch of people who are like me and wouldn’t have been able to figure out what the big deal is. :) I hope so anyway. Best of luck to you.

  217. I know this is off-topic, but I just want to thank the author for proofreading and editing his piece. It is extremely nice to see someone write a set of good ideas, and it’s even nicer to see someone write it clearly. Bravo, Doyin Richards.

  218. My first thought *was* cute photo, and the only reason I clicked along to the link was because I was scratching my head as I didn’t see what could possibly be controversial about this picture. Haters on the internet will find something to attack in the most innocent of things.

    As my children are hitting their 20’s now, and interacting with a much wider range of people, I am realizing that one of the most precious gifts I have given them is that they were raise in a happy and stable home environment. Kudos to you and your wife.

  219. You seeme an awesome father who does what most men should do more of – care and take responsibility of their kids!

  220. I just read through all this and firstly I want to say THANK YOU on behalf of all moms for being a great example for all dads. My fiance often refers to him self as super dad because he had a principal at or daughters school tell him so lol. He enjoys doing all the fun stuff most dads wont and even the not so fun stuff. Secondly race shouldn’t have even come up in this at all and I agree that love is colour blind. I understand to some its a personal preference for example I’m very attracted to native men but that doesn’t mean I’d never date some one of a different skin tone it just means that’s what I prefer. Nor would I attack someone who was attracted to someone of a different skin colour. When people make comments like “you are shamming your race” I hate to admit it but the first thing I think is “please tell me this person can not reproduce or are making any sort of impression on a child that they are teaching to be racist.” I grew up with racism around me from some adults and all it did for me was make me ashamed to have white shin and I’d pray and wish that my skin colour would magically change. Silly I know but I was a little girl and I the hateful words made me sad. Children are born full of love and the adults in their lives are what teaches them to hate and to bully. Maybe if we took more time continuing those lessons of love we’d have more money to spend on helping because we wouldn’t have to spend it all on war. It is officially 2014 and my hope for this year is to see more acceptance. Not just for just the colour of a persons skin but that people be free to love who they want to love regardless of skin colour gender. Thank you for sharing this and my fiance and I both plan on following future posts from you.

  221. Mum of 4dds in Australia here. I am the SAHP. But my hubby swaps shifts to attend kinder or school activities/days/evenings. He can wrangle 3 pony tails in 5 mins before he walks (or runs) them to the bus stop. He cuts their hair when I take too long (about 70% of the time). He TAUGHT me to cook! His girls are currently helping him build a deck. He is “daddy” and it is wonderful. I didn’t grow up with that kind of dad so I’m a little thrilled with it all :) I think I am giving my daughters a most excellent expectation and perception of that a man should be. The only (ONLY) things hubby doesn’t do is birth and breast feeding (and baking cakes… That’s my department). Isn’t that awesome? We even have 2 ergos. I have a great photo of dh cooking dinner with our youngest in the ergo. :) maybe we should start a revolution and send all our photos to you 😉

  222. First time reader, and I’m in awe of your class, self-control, and clarity on this issue. The comments you highlighted here are jaw-droppingly awful, but your straightforward way of addressing them is far, far better than simply ignoring them and allowing the ugliness they represent to go unchallenged.

    Kudos to you, sir–for the capable daddying, sure, but foremost for writing this and representing an important and often overlooked worldview: that people who are parents should do their best to parent, regardless of gender or racial identity.

    Daddy on! :-)

  223. Aside from the fact this picture is absolutely adorable, I don’t get the big deal. The color of your skin never even occurred to me. I saw a dad being a dad. I also didn’t notice the skin of your kids matching/not matching yours. I’m baffled. Are there not lighter skinned black people who aren’t of mixed race? I didn’t realize black only came in one color. Even if the children are of mixed race, so what? I guess I don’t get it.

    The bottom line is this is a very cute picture of a dad taking care of his kids. Anything else says more about the commenter than it does about the man in this picture.

    • I’m with you 100% on this. I saw the picture and just thought that it was adorable that papa was doing his little girl’s hair while the tinier one snuggled close.

  224. A great read & a great dad, BUT some daddy’s have boyfriends/husbands

    • I had the same thought, Amanda. But ultimately, the message of tolerance and acceptance is there, and DDW is just encouraging people to be good parents and not so judgmental, so I was willing to overlook that one little verbiage snafu.

  225. Wow and I can’t even get mine to brush their teeth and I have a hard time walking and chewing gum at the same time. Kudos to you and your wife. I am not sure why all the vitriol over this as I think it’s awesome.

  226. I’m one of the guys that thought “What’s the big deal? It’s a dad doing his kid’s hair….” I didn’t realize what the headline meant until I read the article. How sad there are still racists and bigots out there. I will now be following your blog, Doyin. Thanks for the article.

  227. I have one of ‘you’ at home (a good dad to our 2 daughters) and all I have to say is keep being who you are and not caring about other people’s opinions. Keep daddying normal because it is and just as important as mommying, though I’m sure you know that already. By doing simply that, you create reactions that start a thought-process even if the person is hating. And that is more beautiful than the picture even (though it is a beautiful family picture).

    Take care!

  228. Mr. Richards,

    You eloquently touched on everything that is wrong with the reaction you recieved.

    From the racism of questioning your beautiful daughters’ skin color, suggesting you “rented” the children or have more (illigitimate) ones on the side… to the sexism and hypocracy of heaping praise upon you while ignoring the millions of other men women who lovingly take care of their kids everyday.

    All done with a hearty dose of humor.

    As a newlywed, I can only hope (and demand!) that my husband someday embraces fatherhood with has much dedication, enthusiam, and love as you have.

    Well done, sir.

  229. Doyin,
    First time I’ve read your blog. Good for you, and very well-said. Sorry to hear about the haters but you summed it up best when you said the dumbest are the loudest! Thanks for saying what I have thought for years, which is, why do men get so many props for doing the things women have been doing for years? My husband cooks dinner (and I clean and do laundry) and everybody tells me how lucky I am. We both work. Would they tell him he is lucky if I cooked? I appreciate everything he does, and he appreciates me; it’s a give and take. Much love to you and your family.

  230. That is a beautiful picture. There are many people out there that have never left the little coziness of their backyard and rely on the media and (sadly) relatives to tell them about the world…these people fit right it with those who can never find the positive in any situation. I second the feelings of a previous commenter, your mannerisms in handling those with a poor outlook on life is welcoming. I hope your wife enjoyed the picture since that was the original intention. Many of us share those dreams…we just have to keep pushing.

  231. Thank you! When I looked at your picture, it brought back wonderful memories of when I was a little girl. My dad used to do things like that with me, whether it was putting my hair up, playing tea party, or whatever, he was PRESENT… just like you. Kudos. Your little ones will never forget!

  232. Well, personally, I don’t think you deserve a parade, but there are few things more sweet than a dad and his kids. And it just makes it more adorable when you see the contrast between a big, strong man and tiny little girls. Well done, sending that picture to your wife. I’m sure she loved it! Is there anything sexier than seeing the man you love doting over the children you love?!

  233. I love your post here, found this via Facebook. I am a father of 3 young boys (2, 1, and 2 months) and I am DADDY! I am proud to spend time with my boys and take care of them every chance I get. My wife didnt change a diaper in the first two weeks with all of our boys. I pitch in and help out in any and every way I can after work 10-12 hours a day while my wife gets to stay at home (as she has always wanted) and I couldnt be prouder. I applaud you, and wish that more men would stand up.

  234. When I saw this article in my news feeds I was miffed as to why there would be so much controversy over a photo that looks like a father caring for his children. That is all I see, a good dad with his babies.
    Some people have nothing better to do with their time than to put others down.
    Unfortunately ignorance and racism is like an illness that cannot be cured.
    Don’t worry about the haters, they are probably just a little jealous of you.
    You are an amazing parent, don’t ever forget that :)

  235. I can’t speak to the racial aspect of this since I have never encountered it first hand (probably because I am white in an area where there is lots of multiculturalism but the majority of the population is still white), but I want to say thanks for setting a great example for dads of all races. My husband is a stay at home dad, not because he is a dead beat (he works awfully hard at home), but because I happen to have the education to support us on a single income, and if he worked the daycare costs for three kids would be about the same as he would make. Its sort of funny, cause the guys he knows are all “Good job dude, I’d love to stay at home with the kids!” (although probably most of them don’t realize what they would be signing up for), and while most of the women we know are supportive, when he does take some flak, it is from some girl saying “Dude, why aren’t you out working to support your wife and kids”. I wish people could keep their mouths shut when people have found a balance and way of life that is working for them (as long as that way of life is not hurting anyone else or their kids), regardless of who is working or caring for the kids or what colour/orientation/religion they are etc. I wish it could be as simple as, great your kids are fed and clothed, they get to go to school, they get medical care when needed, and they have parents who spend time with them, they are super lucky kids.

  236. Let the haters hate, just means that your obviously doing it right. All I see from this picture is a father who’s there for his kids and because of that they’re going to grow up into productive members of society, props to you my good sir!

  237. Love, love, love this post. I have to take issue with this statement of yours: “being a dad is one of the few things in life I’m actually good at.” because you also clearly have a talent for writing!

  238. This is my first introduction to your blog and I think it’s fantastic!! I am in awe of how devoted my husband is to our kids and their daily lives and it is so nice to see another Dad out there who enjoys it so much!!

  239. Awesome picture, great reminder to go with it. I love seeing my husband as involved in his children’s lives as you seem to be. This brings back memories of a time when my boys were about the same age as your girls. I had something I had to go do (who knows…many moons and sleepless nights ago) so my husband took the boys to work with him. When I showed up to pick them up he was stringing racquets with one boy entertained and the other hanging out in the ergo on his back. I was totally woo’d! :o)

  240. You know what my first thought was when I saw this photo? It wasn’t a thought about race or a mother’s role (as in ‘why isn’t the mom doing this task?). No, my first thought when I saw this photo was, ‘what a sweet moment between a father and his children’. Second thought was – what a good dad. :) I’m sorry that other people had a problem with this photo – that’s just sad.

  241. My husband was lucky enough to get to spend 6 weeks bonding with our oldest DD. They still have a wonderful relationship, she is almost 9. I admire you doing that for your girls.

  242. I have a dream my arms are long enough to do something like that without having the baby in the ergo in a headlock. But seriously good job. I try to tell all the moms (and dads) i know good job as often as possible as parenting can be so thankless sometimes.

  243. Tom Brechlin says:

    WOW, Doyin, I left for work around noon ….263 comments and it’s only 4:30? I think that’s the record for GMP. What’s best is that it’s so many relating to a daddy moment and not sex, partners, dating or any of that but all about a great daddy! Good work man.

    What also struck me while reading the responses are the number of men and women who share your experience as being a dad with no boundaries. And what I really found amazing was that some women actually admit that the dads are great at multitasking and handling the kids. Truth is that men can and do all of it as well.

  244. Fan-freakin-tastic! I fell into the new reader category and words fail me to fully explain how much I love this posting and at the same time am saddened by it. Saddened because you are so right, the only reason anyone paid any attention good or bad is because this was a photo of a babywearing dad, if it had been a mum we might not have really noticed. Thankfully I have a husband who is an amazing, because he is mine I will even go so far to say even more amazing of a father. I take it for granted some times. Expecting that all fathers should and would be like that. But even though I have an amazing babywearing husband who is not afraid to wear his daughter’s hair clip walking down the street, I too found thought this photo was a big deal and only read the blog posting because I loved seeing this multi-tasking dad rocking the Ergo. But you are right I wouldn’t have paid any attention if it had been a mum. I hope that one day we will all see photos like this and say, that is sweet and move on because we are use to amazing dads and expect it. You are right to use the word daddying because being a parent is and always will be a verb. You have a new follower in me.

  245. Yup… first time I’ve read your blog, and I *had* to read it to figure out what on earth the big deal was! Not a damn thing about that picture shocked, or even surprised me.
    And I have to say, when my little ones *were* little, there were many days when I could have snapped a picture of my husband–cut-off camo shorts and baby sling and all doing–all sorts of household chores. :)
    (He still does them… just with the kids less firmly attached to him!)
    When I was growing up, dad’s “babysat” their kids… now our playground has almost as many stay-at-home dads, as stay-at-home moms. And I think we need that! They bring an entirely new outlook on the idea of pushing-and-shoving “arguments” and the monkey bars!
    So, go you for being an awesome dad!

  246. Deby Bryson says:

    You are an AWESOME dad!! My husband takes a very active role with our two kiddlets too and it makes all the difference. Your children are beautiful and they will remember all the love and devotion you have given to them all their lives. I just can’t understand the douchebags that would say anything negative about this. YOU ROCK!! Keep up the good work!

  247. My father learned how to French braid my sister and my hair when we were little girls because my mother couldn’t get the hang of it, he’s also been my biggest advocate and supporter I love him very much and hope your girls feel as blessed as I do for having a father who takes his role seriously. On another note, I was riding the train the other day and saw a man who looked down on his luck, but still presentable. In his hands he had a well worn few pages titled how to teach your daughter how to grow up into a strong woman” and it brought tears to my eyes that he had taken the time to print out a guide on raising his little girl. I’m sorry you’ve recieved so much hate, but keep on keeping on, the world thanks you for raising children to have a good head on their shoulders much love from Chicago, Ginny

  248. Walt Everly says:

    You, sir, are my new hero. Don’t let the haters get you down!

  249. From a child who’s dad was a deadbeat… Thank you for showing the world the way a true dad loves his kids. Drop the haters and God bless.

  250. Shelley Kiriazis says:

    He is a real man! If only there were more like him. My son totes his daughter around in a pouch in the front. She loves it! And so does he. She’s only 8 1/2 months old. I’m sure down the road he will be doing the same as this father. Obviously some of us moms raised their sins right!

  251. The fact that anyone would view this picture negatively is disgusting. It’s unbelievably sweet and since I am lucky enough to be married to a man who proudly wears sandals to show off his girls’ latest nail polish art on his feet (They say since his toes are longer, it’s easier to practice their peace signs and whatnot, haha) I saw it for what it is — a good daddy moment. Keep doing what you do, sir. Any man who can do a ponytail is alright in my book!

  252. I saw this photo and had two thoughts: 1) great multi-tasking! 2) bugger – my arms probably wouldn’t be long enough to manage that – boo! 😉

    Seriously, it’s a shame you got the negative comments that you did. As a social worker, I love seeing parents doing it right: with love, and with kindness. Keep going!

  253. Pick a better hero. You seem like a great guy. King cheated on his wife all the time (kids with a white girl outside of his marriage), and as for the “doctor” part? He stole most of his dissertation from someone else (look it up, the university that awarded it to him admits it on their home page). So privately he was scum and professionally he was garbage. I’m tired of people holding him up as some great american.

  254. Theresa Broderick says:

    Awesome picture! Don’t think twice of the haters. They just want everything you have…cute kids…mad parenting skillz and of course those biceps.

  255. Yay for Dads being great dads! My hubby is a great dad!! Our kids are all the better for it!

  256. I didn’t get it at first. At all. I guess that’s a good sign…
    Kind regards, Kim from Sweden

  257. ……It’s doing your kid’s hair. It’s skin cells touching hair cells, come together through a father’s love for his daughter. (Why do some men hate that so much? Because of what I call SWS = Small Weenie Syndrome.) I’m sorry for the racist BS you have to put up with, especially from within the black community (how depressing is that?!?!) but it seems you’ve absorbed it and turned it into something positive (this blog). I hope I’m as good a dad as you are one day.

  258. I personally find this hot. A man doting on his kids and being a great role model for other men is porn for ladies! Great job dad!

  259. Peggy Thompson says:

    Hi,
    I NEVER respond to blogs, seriously, I never do it. But I just wanted to tell you that you are wonderful! I saw this pic and thought back to when my girls were little and there were times I watched my husband do their hair, or juggle one while trying to get shoes on the other. These moments are so fleeting, and those people who don’t understand the amazing beauty of what this picture shows are blind and incredible stupid. Please don’t let those idiots detract from the amazing moment in time that you were able to capture. When I looked at the picture, I only saw a Dad being a good Daddy, I think your dream is closer than you might think- 20+ years ago when my husband would take our oldest out without me, women would come up to him and tell him how good of a dad he was being because he was taking an interest in her life, we still laugh about the time he went to one of her appointments and heard the secretary tell the doctor, “it’s a MAAAaaaannn” All of our children are still close to their Daddy, and I believe that’s because he was such an integral part of their life. You’re amazing.

  260. I don’t know who u are…but my husband is CRUSHING the dishes right now…he just fixed tea for our two daughters tea party…and in a few minutes we’re gonna watch season 8 of dexter on netflix while they tea party it up. He kicks ass and u sir do to. Keep up the good work.

  261. I love this, because I saw nothing wrong with the picture until I read the article and got the twisted perspective of those other people. Nothing like that even crossed my mind. I married for a second time 22 years ago, and decided I wanted more than one child, and I would not have done any of that if I did not have a husband who wanted to share the load and the love. We now have three incredible young adult children, thanks to both of our efforts. I am amazed by the comments. Yet, we know, that nothing anyone else thinks of you is any of your business, and nothing they say about you is about you at all anyway. Thank God! So, they are lashing out at themselves, and what they said about you says everything about them. Carry on! Michelle

  262. Vicki Michels says:

    My first reaction to this was one of delighted astonishment — not at your color, or your sex, or anything else so insignificant, but because to do one kid’s hair while the other is snuggled in a tummy pack takes a lot of limber dedication! (My littler one used to try to grab the hairbrush, and that kept getting in the way. It would take five times as long!) Good work, figuring out how to get the job done while keeping everyone warm and happy.

  263. This if the first post I’ve ever read on your blog and I must say, very well written. Thank you for being a vocal about this & don’t let the bastards get you down. :)

  264. Just wanted you to know–the first thing I thought of when I sawn this photo? He’s a brave man to be tackling that hair. And I can rarely get my daughter’s mass of curls in a tight ponytail. And I’m the mom. What’s your secret?

  265. I stumbled on this while hanging out on Twitter. I decided to look at the picture first, because I wanted to try and guess what was so controversial about it. I honestly couldn’t figure it out. It just seemed like another picture of a man caring for a little girl. Then I went on to read the blog. Wow.

  266. I don’t know you, or anything about you, but you just gained yourself a new reader. So much love in one little picture.

  267. I shared on all of my networks. Thank you for being a great dad!

  268. Courtney Edens says:

    I enjoy seeing photos like this one. My husband went on two deployments 08-09 and 10-11. He left both times after we had a child. Our son was 5 weeks old and our daughter was 3 months old. He missed soooo much. With our third child he was home and able to bond with her the way he couldn’t with our two older children. I don’t view it as weird or strange seeing him put up their hair or helping them with homework. It’s bonding and completely normal and natural. :) kudos to you for standing up and being #teamgrownassman

  269. Timothée says:

    I don’t know what to say except that I am shocked by all the hate out there. You’re an awesome husband and father and thanks to your own upbringing, you are going to raise two brilliant, respectful, kind, compassionate children who will help transform this world into one that would make ALL of us prouder. Wonderful “rant.” Tell your mother I am proud of you!

  270. I clicked on this article because of the headline juxtaposed against the photo. My first thought was “Why on earth would this photo be a big deal to anyone?” I’m glad to hear I wasn’t the only one who saw it as a positive thing and didn’t even register that something could be wrong with a man taking care of two kids. Skin tone doesn’t matter. Gender doesn’t matter. Neither would the sexual orientation of the man, as far as I’m concerned. Whether the man depicted was the father of the children by blood? Yeah. That doesn’t matter to me either. All I saw was love, and that’s that for me. Glad I wasn’t the only one. :)

  271. “Hurt people, hurt people” Some of those responses are so disappointing. I personally love spending time with my girls so I can’t imagine why someone would think any other father wouldn’t feel the same way.

    I get my girls ready in the morning many times so your picture made me smile. I didn’t feel alone. :)

  272. Marissa L. says:

    It amazes me that people choose to make this about race or gender or anything else then what it really is. My husband is very involved. He’s never embarrassed to be romantic or to be a good pet parent and when we finally have children he’ll bring that same mindset to parenting. Dads should be celebrated just as moms are for doing the right thing for their children. Go you :)

  273. Haters gotta hate. If you have haters you are doing something right! Keep up the good work! The future of our GREAT country depends on the mothers and fathers in the home doing the best job possible to raise the next generation. Thanks for showing them what a real man looks like. They won’t marry a slob that sits on the couch. They are going to expect GREAT things from the men they marry and date. You keep going.

  274. The only thing I thought when I saw this picture on FB was that it was kind of adorable and couldn’t figure out why people would be hating on it. Anyway, who cares what some anonymous people on the Web think about it; these are the things your daughters are going to remember with a smile some day.

  275. Kudos to you!!

    My dad was a hands-on guy. He believed in changing diapers. He taught me how to braid and crochet. He also taught me how to swing a hammer, change the oil in my car and change a flat tire. I am grateful to him for all of that and grateful that I still have a close, loving relationship with him. I’ve spent the day with my brother at his daughter’s school teaching them about an organization to which we belong. I’ve watched him get up and learn a dance because his daughter needed a partner. They are both awesome fathers and your kids will grow to appreciate you and all you do.

    It is sad that you’ve experienced so much hate and racism because of this photo. That says volumes about both you and the haters. It speaks wonderfully of you, and terribly of them. I have known good and bad fathers of all races.

    Keep doing what you do, for you, for your children and for all of us. Involved dads raise involved kids and our world needs more of them.

  276. from a mother who’s boys have a dead beat dad thank you for writing this nothing about the picture shocked me it just got me thinking to how much my boys miss out coz of their dad not wanting to do anything for them or with them and i thank you for showing me not all men are going to be deadbeat dads.

  277. MollysMum says:

    *sigh* Can you be MY husband for a little while?

  278. Dianne Fleener says:

    Please, whatever you do, do not assume most of us “white people” are racists! I have to believe there are racists in every race (does that make sense?). I love your picture and what you are doing! Keep it up and try to ignore those few ignorant people who have nothing better to do than think of mean things to say! You’re being a great dad and that’s what really matters in this world!!

  279. Kenneth Easterling says:

    I’m thinking a lot of love is shown in this picture. It takes a BIG man to step forward and take on the duties of getting one child ready for school and one for a nap. I know from experience.

  280. It positively astounds me that in this day and age, people still hold on to the ignorance and racism of the past.
    For whatever it’s worth, I have nothing but the highest respect for any man that fulfills his fatherhood role to it’s fullest, and not just as the “sole bread winner”.
    You, sir, are what I and every father should aspire to be.

  281. I just wanted to leave here saying two things. The first and old joke from readers digest.

    A Czechoslovakian woman and her Chinese husband were at the hospital awaiting the arrival of their baby. A nurse walked in to check on the wife’s progress and cheerfully asked “What are you having?” The wife grinned at her and replied “Chinese Checkers.”

    The second is my husband won’t ever do our daughters hair but then again he stinks at it. 😉 Wonderful rant I really enjoyed reading it.

  282. I too had to wonder why this photo would cause any sort of a stir. The first, and main, thing I saw was you baby wearing. Even as a baby wearing mama, I got some strange looks, but it enabled me to be close to my babies while still getting things done. I wore them in a ring sling while working, and in an Ergo while shopping. Going on hikes, my husband wore them, and he also wore them on walks around the block. I thought this was a beautiful photo of a man baby wearing.

    I have found throughout my life that some people will always find the beauty and joy in life, and others will always find something to complain about. Those people are always going to be sad & bitter, and it’s not worth your time to worry about them one bit. You have a beautiful family. I love guys like you and my husband who are secure enough in their manhood to wear their babies.

  283. By the way, can you give me some advice on potty training?
    We are trying to get our son to communicate the fact that he needs to go to the bathroom.

    • VF Johnson says:

      You don’t say how old your son is, but keep a couple of things in mind:
      – kids mature at different rates
      – it takes experience to recognize that the sensations they’re feeling=a need for the bathroom
      – he has to have the language skills to communicate that need
      – transitioning from one activity to another is a developmental skill. Even when the above is true, he may put off a trip to the potty if he’s something fun or interesting.
      Until he can tell you, offer the potty often, especially after waking up and meals.
      Watch for physical tells, such as squirming and holding himself.
      Don’t ask if he has to go, TELL him it’s time for the potty.
      Buy lots of training pants and be patient. Eventually he’ll decide he likes being dry better than being wet!

  284. Mighty_moe says:

    Now the big question is how many women will see this and figure he ain’t hard enough for them? Then they complain when the deadbeat don’t do anything or when he mistreats them or her kids. Good article!

  285. Hi:

    I think some of the responses you are getting from black people about the color of your children are expressing the ways in which many of us have been wounded around complexion. In some families lighter in complexion children were awarded more care and tenderness than darker children. Since this is a reality for far too many people of African heritage across the globe, there is a very real assumption that you would treat your children (especially girl children) with less care if they were darker. I know their words feel like a personal attack, but I think they are really trying to talk about a practice that unfortunately we continue to perpetuate even in 2014. Best to you and your family.

  286. Sam Signorelli says:

    You, sir, have NOTHING to apologize for. You keep doing what you’re doing for your kids…screw those who can’t see beyond their own dicks.

  287. loxley prince says:

    Hey man Im proud of you more men/fathers should start taking more responsibility of their kids….I tried to brade my daughters hair,I was it and I combed it so bigh shout out to you……

  288. You are wonderful. This is wonderful.

    My dad was the cooking, cleaning, driving to school, ponytail making one in our family and my mom had the more demanding job. I’m almost 30 and my dad and I are seriously best friends and still do all kinds of fun stuff together. I feel sad for the kids who don’t get as much time with their dads because dads are awesome. Bravo to you and all the other great dads out there!

  289. Kudos to this man!!!!!!!

  290. LibaRuchel says:

    I had very long hair as a little girl, and I remember
    my father brushing it out for me after my bath.
    This was in the ’60’s, when Dads didn’t do this
    kind of job. I truly hope your children never see the garbage people are writing about you, and their memories of this time in their lives are of warmth and love.

  291. April Jones says:

    Wow, I think it is a beautiful picture, and I too dream of a day when it is just another dad being a dad, instead of all about race or gender…

  292. Thanks for being awesome and sharing your awesome.

  293. It would not matter if other men don’t like the things you do. What does matter and what is important is that your wife appreciates you as you are and your children adore their Dad. You decided to be more than “a father”, you decided to be “Dad”. That is a beautiful thing to see, from any gender and any race.

    When this crossed my feed with “I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal” I had to click the link because when looking at the picture, I could not see anything that should have been “a Big Deal”. Maybe I am just grown to where some others have not reached.

    Your children are both very lucky to have you in their lives.

  294. I’m sure this has been said in previous comments, but I actually had to read your blog to even see what the big deal was with the photo. Keep doing what your doing my friend!

  295. Michael Shimoji says:

    Hey! Just sending support from a half Japanese, half white, father of one beautiful daughter from Japan. Love your attitude and your passion.! Keep up the good work.

  296. I’m 35, but I vividly remember mornings standing in front of my father’s chair in my plaid uniform jumper while he put my hair into a ponytail or braid. Mom had to go to work early, so my dad did it. It wasn’t until I got older that I learned that this was somehow considered weird. Of course, no one would ever tell my big biker father that he was weird for doing my hair, at least not to his face. :-)

  297. I never usually read blogs but now i did.
    I am a chalk-white man in probably one of the whitest parts of the world, a coutry wich is right now plagued by rasism, and when i look at this picture I see a looving father caring about his children.
    It is horrifying that anyone, black or white, would find offence in this picture and even moore that they would barf up such disgusting comments.
    I am a father of three children, divorced from their mother since a few years, we have shared custody but they live with me moore than with their mother. I am single and have no other family than my children close at hand so I do everyday things by my self.
    And I see nothing strange about it, they are my children and I love them so why wouldn’t I?
    You are a strong father and a good role model, fuck everyone who says otherwise.
    Be strong my brother of another colour.

  298. Amazed at the attitudes of some of your haters DDW – as a retired dad with 2 of my own (now fully grown), and a step-dad to 3 who are still school-age, who regularly cooks, does the dishes, launders clothes, walks the dogs, shops etc etc while my partner goes to the office it seems no big deal – it’s what I’ve been doing for decades. At a recent family gathering, I could see that my niece was struggling with her twins, so me and my girlfriend did the diaper changing. It really was no big deal – people made a deal of it because I’m a guy (my girlfriend got no positive comment at all – I guess not having a penis made her stepping in to help pass with zero comment). For most women, it’s just life! Like you say, the guys who complain and make snarky (at best) comments or racist (at worst) comments are doing fine making themselves look bad, they don’t need any help from us!

    God Bless you dude – keep up the awesome blog!

  299. Excellent read. Loved the pic. Continue being a GREAT dad to your kids and a wonderful help to your wife.

  300. single dad's daughter says:

    I was raised by a single father. The picture is amazing and shows how we can all come up with a ptractical solution when necessary. I’m a child of the 50’s-60’s. My dad gave me those Lit Milk waves perms all the time, I looked like Rosann Rosanna Danna. They are my favorite pictures of me and my dad. Keep up the loving work!!

  301. You sir are doing what is right. Unhappy people lie to share their unhappiness no matter what culture they are from. Good to speak up and good to let those unhappy folks leave with their returned gifts.

  302. I think it is always awesome when I see a dad willing to do the 50/50. I was a stay at home mom for a long time. I have 4 girls from a previous marriage and one with my husband now. He was the bread winner,until he realized he wanted to go back to school full time and make a better life. I now work and take care of us, while he gets to stay home with our girls. I smile every time I get home and listen to him talk about his day.( I know exactly what he went through) I miss being the one at home, but I love that he knows how great it feels to be the one taking care of the kids etc. I think both sides need to know what it is like to better appreciate each other. I definitely think we need a world of dads willing to step into some new shoes. It really does make the family so much closer when everyone does it together. Skin color should be irrelevant in this day and age. Love crosses all boundaries of race,sex, etc. It should just be the norm that we are all people. Great blog!!

  303. Mr. Richards, I saw a post on FB with this picture asking what was wrong with it. I honestly saw nothing wrong, I thought it was a great picture so I clicked the link that brought me here. I am truly astonished that people would leave those kinds of comments on a picture of you and your daughters. I’m ashamed of those people and for those people! And not that it matters one tiny bit but I’m a Conservative Christian white girl :)

  304. Jason Kaplan says:

    You’re nothing special, my friend. Just a real man, being a real dad. But to your kids, you’re more than Superman, or any other hero. You’re DAD, and the only one they’ll call by that name.

    No, to the rest of the world, you’re just another dad, pulling his weight like the rest of us. But to your kids, you ARE special. You are showing them what it means to be a real man. Good job, man. Good job.

  305. Wow! I can’t be LIEVE the comments on here.

    All I know this is is one sexy pic. Few things are hotter than when my husband is showing his mad mega-dad skills.

  306. Oh I forgot to mention that when I was a kid my dad worked 2nd shift and my mom worked 1st shift and was out of the house at 6am every morning. I would get myself up and dressed and do my hair but I could never put my earrings in, so every morning around 7am I would go to my parent’s bedroom and wake my dad up to put my earrings in for me. He did it all the time and never once complained

  307. Terry-Anne Keen says:

    All children should, and indeed need a Father like you. A Father who is engaged with their children. A Father who will put them first. Congratulations it is the first time I have seen your blog, a possative start.
    I have a dream that people will be nice to each other and stop trying to pull them down to their standard.

  308. Heidi Blair says:

    Hi,
    I’m a stay-at-home mom :) I love this blog post & love that you are the voice representing the involved dads. Thanks for speaking your mind so eloquently! Just wanted to slap ya a high five :)

  309. Vincent Daniels says:

    Seriously major amounts of respect. I do not have the patience or the knowledge to do my daughter’s hair so you have automatic respect right there. At the end of the day your a good man doing good things. Don’t even think about the haters. Those people are just sad, internet comedians with no life. Keep being an awesome dad.

  310. I saw the picture and thought “how great is that? A dad who can do his daughter’s hair. With a baby carrier on, no less.” My second thought was “nice arms.” Keep being a wonderful dad.

  311. yes, this is the first time for me, reading your blog…and I am totally in love!!!! Awesome pic…adorable kiddos…lucky wife!! 😀

  312. corrie roberts says:

    I don’t know if it makes a difference but when I 1st saw this picture I didn’t think it was a big deal my next thought was, “cute.” I didn’t even notice the difference in skin color between the dad and his kids. In fact, even when I reached the part in the article that quotes people’s rude comments about the skin color differences I had to go back to the picture to notice it. Maybe it’s because in my family I have a brother-in-law that is 1/2 Mexican 1/2 Brazilian, a sister-in-law that is Nicaraguan, another sister-in-law that is 1/2 Filipino 1/2 white, and my husband (we jokingly call the mutt) is part American Indian, part Mexican, part Scottish, part Jewish. . .you get the picture. This is just normal, isn’t it?
    As far as your thoughts on the role of “dad” goes, I say, “Yes! We need to invigorate the concept of being a good dad and what that means and looks like in our society.”
    My husband is a very involved and loving father. Your wife is a lucky woman, I am a lucky woman. I don’t feel like I should be more lucky than other women I feel all women should be as lucky as me. I also feel that all men deserve a good woman too.

    To me your dream isn’t a dream but a reality.

  313. I just thought, dude has his hands full. Well done.

  314. That was assume. Well said, point taken. You have a beautiful family and I know it is hard work for any parent to make “parenting” their full time job. Best job ever.

  315. What a wonderful picture! I love to see a dad doing things like that. My husband is a caring father too. Keep it up! Great read!

  316. Don’t see anything wrong with this photo. Some people just need to get with the times.

  317. MrFlifashions says:

    Man i want to thank you for that post. I am a husband and father/daddy of 4. And honestly brother you set a good example for good fathers/daddys. Thank you for that post and picture of your beautiful family. As a father and husband, I know I play my part with helping my wife with taking care of our family…but I can say there is still always room for improvement. Keep doing what your doing sir. May God continue to bless you and your family.

  318. <3

    You are AWESOME! Your wife and daughters are blessed to call you theirs. I, too, am married to an absolute gem of a man. He has always been a very involved father. We share all responsibilities – we don't believe we live in 1950's America, or in any backward society where women are trivialized and men are stereotyped. I could never have married anyone who wouldn't be the type of father that he is, and I am grateful for the example he shows our children – our son has/will have the ideal role model, and frankly, our girls do, too. It is a joy to know parents with such dedication and sincerity as you have. I am a teacher of young children, and it is remarkable the range of parenting I see. (Remarkable, too, is your ability to deal with the shockingly hateful responses that you have received – to you being YOU. It's amazing how threatened people can feel when they believe themselves to be inadequate. How sad it is, also, that such deeply-rooted racism has been laid bare. Let us hope that your blog might serve as a catalyst for the betterment…)

  319. You’re correct. The dumbest are usually the loudest. But that’s just because no one would listen otherwise :) You are a strong, articulate man whose photo speaks volumes louder than any narrow-minded, racist comment anyone could ever make. Keep doing you. Your babies are going to grow-up knowing what it’s like to feel the love of an amazing father. Kudos to you. Light and love to you and your family!

  320. I was raised mixed race in South Florida and experienced prejudice from all sides. It brought a tear to my eye to see that cowards in 2014 would see you with your beautiful girls and feel anything but love. By the way, my father was from the Dominican Republic and I was his “baby doll”. He always brushed my hair and it was a special memory from my childhood. :.)

  321. I was scrolling through fb and saw the pic and didn’t think anything of it, but clicked on the link because the title confused me. I am amazed that you had negative reactions. Your family sounds great and I hope some day that I have a man in my life that is so outstanding.

  322. ok i could not read anymore of this, not because of what you were writing but because of what you had to deal with from everyone else it is just making me mad to read it. you are being a father doing what every father should do without being asked. my husband is a stay at home dad as its what works best for us this is the stuff he does day in and day out. just wish more men were like u and my husband

  323. All I see in that picture is love.

  324. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. I am guessing you made a whole lot of guys out there feel guilty about being slacker dads! Keep up the great work!

  325. I love you. No seriously. This is an adorable picture of a clearly loving dad. But I love your points. Your daughters are very lucky little girls to have a man in their lives who believes in the equality of the family.

  326. Sir, I may say this much. You are doing a phenomenal job of providing your daughters a GREAT example of what an awesome father, provider and man that they will want in their lives! I am very happy to see the picture, and for those who gave you grief about it, obviously they’re insecure in their own lives. Let them be.

  327. Sheila Rhodes says:

    You know I looked at this pic on FB too and noticed your kids had lighter skin than you – and that’s all I noticed. However, I didn’t think on that any further (I had no idea your wife was not AA). I just figured she had a lighter skin tone than you. No big deal. Shame to all the haters out there. I love the fact that you are wearing your baby and taking care of your daughter. That’s what is important – not skin color or shape of eyes. Sheesh.

  328. That is a good man right there!

  329. We are a transracial family, and I completely LOVE this post. Thank you for keeping it REAL! As parents of 2 children from Ethiopia, I understand you and love it for being a real person!

  330. Maggie Russell says:

    So well said! I wish there were more men in the world like you! I hope to raise my son to be one of them.

  331. Paul Goracke says:

    As a father of two girls, I’ll be using this photo as inspiration on the mornings I’m *really* not in the mood to fight the fight of getting them out the door. Keep on rocking.

  332. I didn’t know what the big deal was until I read the explanation in the blog entry. My parents must have done something right.

  333. A friend just posted this on FB and all I have to say is keeping doing you. As a black woman on the fringe who’s gotten flack from all sides and even at home, you are a great example and a real man.

  334. Oh my God! This is indeed the first time I read your blog (first post and all) and I just can’t wrap my head around the comments you received for uploading that pic. Really? People wrote those things to you for getting your kid ready for school? It’s so weird. Mind-boggling!

    p.s.
    Makes me wonder if people don’t “want” to care for their children, why have them in first place…

  335. This is amazing and you are amazing. Keep doing what you do and being a great dad.

  336. Beautiful picture, excellent article, and incredible human being. What you say in this article is not only true, but should be plain common sense. Thank you for sharing your family with us and for sharing your lovely, insightful article.

  337. My first thought when I saw the pic was “aww what a great daddy daughter moment!” then I thought “I wish my ex was that involved with our kids”. The reality is, for many women it is VERY attractive for our partners to be as involved as you are. I wish more guys would step up and try (heck, we women will help if you need it!) so that it does become the social norm.

  338. I applaud you. Keep taking care of your family, and ignore the ignorant.

  339. liz kirian says:

    I think it is sexy as hell to see a man being a good father. Great job, well spoken, we need more men like this one people! Favorite line is love is color blind… beautiful. I work at an inner city school and many of our boys need to know what a real man looks like. They need to hear that a good man sticks around and does the work just like the mamas, aunties and grandma. Thank you

  340. I looked at the photo and saw one thing. An AMAZING father. Stay strong and ignore the idiots.

  341. I give you huge props. I cannot believe you got so much negative comments. I saw the picture before reading your blog, and thought “that’s my husband!” He is an everyday, constant presence in my children’s lives. Active in every aspect from brushing hair, showers, homework and extra curricular activities. If I’m honest, he does more for my children than I do. There’s nothing better than a good man who makes a awesome father. Keep strong and keep going!

  342. True story, that is sometimes what a daddy being a daddy looks like. I for one, am glad that my boys are the kind who shrug and say, yeah, that’s what dad’s do sometimes.

    Thanks for being another example to them. Their dad, not as good at hair, but we worked that out with getting the girls pixie cuts they picked out, so he can still help them looks their own kind of gorgeous.

    KelliSue, mama to 3 girls, 3 boys. My husband makes me look good, much of the time.

  343. cicatricella says:

    The one that kills me is when people congratulate dads on ‘babysitting’.

  344. :)

  345. Wow, I can’t believe that anyone could see anything other that a loving interaction between a father and his children. I didn’t see ur color, economic situation, marital status or religion. All I saw, which made me smile, is a dad doing a great job taking care of his kids. I know this because I grew up without a father, I saw in u all the love and attention I missed out on. Just know ur kids will LOVE u for this time. They will grow to b loving, caring individuals who will raise their children by ur loving example. Ignore the haters…..they will always b lurking. Just know that ur a good dad and a better person!

  346. Love it!!

  347. Your children will cherish the time spent with you as a dad, and your strong relationship with your daughters will build their self-confidence. Just ignore all negative comments, they are coming from idiots who don’t know what being a good parent means.

  348. Now there is a great Dad. Not a thing wrong with being part of your kids lives daily and fully committed to them and your wife/their mom. What is disturbing is the hateful response comments. We hear the racist term flung on everyone all the time for no good reason. Frankly I am sick of it. Time for people to quit using it as both a crutch or excuse for their situation or as a club to beat on others. Stop dishing it and stop using it as an excuse which should pretty much apply to all regardless of what shade your melanin happens to be. Content of character, not color of skin.

  349. I took one look at this shot and thought, “Wow, this is so loving!”. I always admire a man who steps up to the plate and does his share, but not only the duty of fatherhood, but the connection that is made between child and father that grabs my heartstrings every time. It is admirable and an honor to see this does exist and I don’t know why anyone would choose negativity over this for the life of me. All that negativity is their own jealousy, anguish, envy, despair. I think you are doing the right, the most right thing for your babies. They are learning so much more by having you as strongly in the picture as their mom any day.

  350. My husband was the nurturer. He was the one to bond with our son in his infancy, partly because I couldn’t but mostly because that was his nature. As Boy grew older, my husband was the one to do the school things, teacher meetings, going to the park, and all that. I wasn’t able to cope with that. When Boy was in his later elementary school and high school, I was the one going to work and school. To be honest, I think that Boy is all the better for having a nurturing male in his life, that he had such a tight bond with his Dad, right up until his Dad’s death last February.

    So when you get the hate mail, the nay-sayers, and the morons telling you that you’re less a man for being involved with your kids, remember the words of a famous matador (can’t remember his name) when a reporter came for an interview. The matador was wearing an apron and sporting a dish towel. The reporter chided him about how doing dishes isn’t masculine. The bullfighter pulled himself up and proudly said, “I am male. Everything I do is masculine.”

  351. Props to you! I celebrate you for being a strong and loving father. Your kids will be all the better people for having you in their lives.

  352. Susan Jones says:

    When I first saw this pic, I wondered what the big deal was. The I read your story. I find it fascinating how people think. I agree that we need to change our attitudes in this country. Glad you are able to spend time with your children. They grow up so quickly.

  353. http://www.HowiGotCustody.org

    That’s right…THIS should be the norm. This dad is JUST DOING his basic duty. I’m a single/custodial father of a bi-racial daughter myself…who has changed careers to be an advocate for fathers who get pushed out of their children’s lives by the justice system, welfare, child support, CPS and other corrupt entities.

    Why does society and certain institutions PUSH dads away? (1) The State makes money doing so….(2) women get all kinds of money and benefits by doing so (including unconstitutional child support)…
    (3) there is a radical feminist agenda to remove men and male influence. And everyone HYPOCRITICALLY cries out against absent fathers when there are multiple systems that push dads away or reward pushing them away.

    The punks who sent the negative emails to this author…the are brainwashed sheeple, having given into media images that dads are stupid, that dads don’t want to be involved (when the MAJORITY actually DO).

  354. Beth Heinrich says:

    My husband chose a “daddy track”. He took time to be there for school plays, dance performances, scout trips and the like. He changed diapers, comforted a colicy baby, kissed boo-boo’s and helped build dioramas. He may never be a VP or CIO but his kids know how much he loves them. They have the courage to go into the world and make it a better place. I think Mr. Richard’s kids will too. A daddy’s love doesn’t have a color.If people need to attack him about a picture of him and his really cute children, they have a major problem.

  355. I think you are an amazing father. Those haters need to take a lesson or two from you. When I saw the picture and the headline, I was thinking “What IS wrong with this?” I see nothing. I see a loving father taking care of his two beautiful daughters. I saw no color either. I only saw human beings. Keep doing what you are doing and pay no mind to the haters.

  356. That was my first time reading one of your posts.
    I’m the same as yourself in that I’m totally involved with my three children and that it’s a 50/50 responsibility to raise them and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    I’m not a particular eloquent individual so the best I can say is, you rock and don’t stop a rockin.

  357. I can’t believe that people would hate on this guy for doing the Daddy Job. People rant on and on how Blacks are hated on by the other races. Wrong. We’re all one Race. The Human Race. Mankind. Homo Sapiens. Color is irrelevant. And the part that counts here to me? Not that he’s black. that he is a Good Dad. And from what I read here? He’s a fucking great one. I’m a Single Dad of a beautiful 11 year old little girl.
    Doyin Richards. You have my Respect. Daddy On Bro

  358. My husband wishes he could spend more time with my kiddo, and I think what you are doing is great. I know a lot of SAHDs and they do great jobs caring for their children…just like us SAHMs try to as well. A parents love is a parents love…

  359. Theresa Cox says:

    I think it’s awesome!

  360. You’re right, this is the first time I’ve read your blog.
    I definitely love you.
    I don’t see how one negative conclusion could be made from this photo, or this post, or your outlook/role/choices in your life.
    I wish there were many more Daddies like you out there. There are nowhere near enough!
    xo
    Linda

  361. This photo will prove to be iconic. A game changing image the shifts how we view parenting.

  362. Several years ago a great friend told me something and it is true, “Anybody can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy” that is what I see in your pic “A Daddy”. I was a stay at home dad for six years with a break for 2 while going back to work. If my wife could make enough to support all 6 of us comfortably, I would take that road again. It is one that suits us. There are a lot of good men out there, but there are those who take the road to work in order to avoid bonding with their kids or simply can’t handle the chores at home. Yes, I am a white male and I have 4 kids who know I am Daddy. Yes there are days when I want to run and hide, but I don’t. Thank you for sharing. I learned to braid hair and put their hair up in a pony tail, that is all I know and it makes the 3 girls happy and there is a boy in the four and one of the girls is his twin sister. I would love to be a stay at home dad again, but that dream is almost impossible at this point in our lives. To the Haters out there: Please try staying at home with your kids for one year, do the house chores, have dinner on the table when your wife comes in from work, and most of all play outside with the kids or sit and read to them. The smile on their faces with the endless hugs, and the simple I love you Daddy, truly does make a difference. Despite the fact I am in a job I love, the time with kids is made no mater what and that is what gives me joy and I grin from ear to ear when my 4 put their arms around me and say “Daddy, I love you”. These are priceless moments I cherish the most as I watch the kids grow with my wife beside me and in full support of each other!

  363. The first thing I thought was “cool contrast between the camo shorts and muscled up look with the baby on the chest and dad doing hair”. It is a really good picture, and surprising that people still have racist attitudes these days. But I think they are the minority, and shrinking fast. Bullies will always bully most in situations where they are sure not to be confronted…the internet is one such situation.

  364. Mark Aimee says:

    You have probably heard this but we saw a wonderful dad taking care if his kids. I had to read your website to see what the problem was. I got my kids and had them look at your picture and they saw the same thing. All I can hope is their generation will stop the sick racism when they have children. You are awesome. :) ~Aimee

  365. Candi Fox says:

    I hope more dad’s step up like this. This picture and the sentiment behind it are beautiful. Keep raising your family and the world will have more open minded people. Blessings.

  366. Justin Johnson says:

    I want to sincerely thank you for what you’re doing and I want you to stay strong because what you’re doing is quite impressive. I am not a father, but I hope to be one soon, and I just want to tell you that if I had anyone to model my behavior as a parent to it;s you. Wishing you well, and feeling very encouraged after reading what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. You make things a bit less antagonizing for black fathers because you are a symbol, and I think a powerful one. Much respect to you.

  367. One of the reasons I’m still with my husband after 44 years is that he was/is such an incredible daddy! Back in the 70’s/80’s, he did laundry, changed diapers, went to teacher conferences, bought my daughter’s first tampons when she needed them — he was a hands on daddy because he loved his children so much. Today he is a hands on grandpa because he adores his grandchildren, and we are closer than ever. Want your woman to look at you with respect and pure love? Step up and help parent your children! Congratulations to this wonderful daddy for loving his children enough to enjoy them!

  368. Kimberly Wallace says:

    I have to say..I am glad I found your blog…I am glad and excited to see men in a positive view. It is down right shameful to read you recieved anything less than praise for this picture. Congrats and thank you for being a great dad to those beautiful babies. You have a new following!!!

  369. This is one of the sexiest pictures I have ever seen. Nice work, daddy!

  370. I had to read your post to know why people reacted unkindly to your photo. I work in a daycare and I see such a wide range of parenting; single moms, single dads, moms who live with their aunts, moms and dads who take turns doing drop off and pick up, kids who don’t see their moms, kids who don’t see their dads, etc. Your response to the haters was fantastic. Keep being a wonderful father!

  371. Man. That is totally awesome. As well as you are. Society and culture is so messed up today. Do NOT let any of the idiotic comments get to you. Zero. At all. You are a model of what we as dads really are. Thank you for writing, and all you’ve done by this simple act. Btw. I’ve decided to co-opt a phrase from Forrest Gump: “masculine is as masculine does.”. And this, what you’ve done here is truly manly. Hat’s off, sir. Well done!

  372. I think its about time a man steps up and says what’s up!! Everyone bleeds red and that is what I have always said and stood by!! A good person is a good person, like a good parent is a good parent, doesn’t matter what race or sex you are!!

  373. First time I have visited your blog but with intelligent words like these pouring across the page, I will be back.

    And you bloody ROCK. Keep being you.

  374. Michelle Buss says:

    This is the first time I have read your blog…saw the above pic posted on a friend’s FB page and wondered what all the ruckus was about. I just thought it was a cute picture of a Daddy multi-tasking. Then I read all the backlash…funny how some people assign positive attributes to the people in the photo while others make negative assumptions. For many, their perceptions are their reality. The comments that come from their mouths speak louder about the speaker than the subject they are addressing.

  375. My first thought was “how cute, a man doing his daughter’s hair”.

  376. mel Brewater says:

    Appreciate seeing an involved father not so much the cussing. As a black Caribbean teacher and mother I applaud any parent who is putting in the time and effort to be a good role model and parent. You have beautiful children whatever their skin color.

  377. Awesome!!! I couldn’t agree more!! My hubby was a few years ahead of you and let me tell you – it makes a HUGE difference!! Our little girl is 27 and our pride and joy! She wouldn’t be who she is without her phenomenal dad, my dear husband. When she was a baby, we lived in an old Midwest town. We both worked but had different schedules to maximize parent time and minimize daycare time. On one of his days off work and with the baby he was in the backyard hanging laundry to dry and playing with the baby in her playpen. The neighbor men gathered on a nearby porch, pulled out their lawn chairs and beers to watch. They tried to give him grief but he took it in stride. When he’d go shopping with her, ladies would say. How nice! You’re babysitting!’ To which he’d respond, “No. I’m her dad. It’s my job.” Our daughter grew up into a lovely young lady, went to college and became a computer programmer. She has since finished her Master’s Degree and has moved on to an even better job. She loves that her dad was – and still is – there for her everyday. I feel certain that your lovely daughters will appreciate you just as much. Hugs from a fan of all involved fathers!

  378. Mom to two says:

    Your daughters are truly blessed to have a father who is so engaged in the big and small details of their daily lives. A great dad, great writer and great man. Bravo.

  379. Good for you! Enjoy those beautiful children! S

  380. Ruthanne Akstin says:

    I too pray that some day soon, parents of all races who create children will love them and will both act as responsible parties. My dad flew the coop when I was 5….my older brothers stepped up where he left a void. They are awesome parents and men today. No child should be seen as a color….or the parents being of different races. My family is strong, my only grandbaby is Amer-asian. What the heck is that? What she is, is my beautiful baby girl…and I’d die for her or any of my kids or their spouses. God bless and keep you strong. The road will get bumpy every now and again, but I’m sure you can handle it. You were able to do your daughters hair, and put the baby to sleep at the same time and that is strength.

  381. Btw, Doyin, I agree with all the spouses of these a$$hats, they embarass me too. Big time.

  382. LadySiren says:

    Ignore the haters, I LOVE this photo. I don’t care if you’re black, white, or purple with orange spots – this is what good parenting is all about. My fiance decided to be a stay-at-home-dad while I continue along in my career. He’s the chief boo-boo kisser, homework helper, chef, and sounding board for all of us. I couldn’t be prouder of him – he’s providing our kids with a loving parental model that I hope they’ll all emulate when they have children of their own.

    And yes, this shouldn’t be a big deal. I’m waiting for the day when your photo is the de facto standard for parenting, period. This is how kids should be parented, gender, race, or socioeconomic status be damned.

  383. Any time someone sets a positive example in the face of negativity, it’s a big deal!
    Thanks for sharing

  384. Jennifer Clark says:

    Mr. Richards,

    Well, said, sir! And, honestly, I can’t see the big deal in this photo. Yes, it’s a cute moment, but I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that it offended someone.

    Also, good job with all that hair. My twin girls never have a tidy ponytail.
    Jennifer Clark
    Central Coast of California

  385. You do realize even your own wife had to see it to believe it? 😉

  386. Cheers to you. Well done!

  387. Yup, my first time reading. What did I think when I saw the picture, first-awww cute baby! Then I thought, man, I remember when Mom was at work and Dad got me ready, sure my hair was brushed and everything got done and I heard great stories while it all happened but I’ll never forever when I went to school in the leggings he picked out without knowing there was a tiny hole in the butt. Being in kindergarten I thought the world was over! Oh Daddy. Try not to make that mistake Doyin! Keep having fun on the journey

  388. You go daddy-o!! It’s a great photo and you and your wife should be proud you have beautiful babies. Great multitasking!! I think it’s wonderful that you handled and didn’t need mommy help. :) keep up the great work and inspire more dads! Your blog was fantastic.

  389. Tony Blow says:

    what i am having a problem with, is all the negative comments, about a man taking care of his children. It shouldnt matter whether he is pink blue red orange or be covered in polka dots, or even what colour his children are. I work a night shift, for approximately 10 hrs. Then i arrive home as my children are waking up, or just ready for their breakfast. 1 child is 10 months, the other is 22 months. their mother takes care of the kids when i am working. the rest of the time i do as much as i can to help out. on my days off, i take care of my children.
    It seems that if a lot of children had a father/ father figure around, then society would not be as screwed up as it seems to becoming. a child needs a father, and a father is also responsible for looking after his children. i am there for my children, as this father is also there for his. how many children grow up to say there father was there for them. so its time to stop the bigotry , as its definitely not 1913.

  390. No biggie, dude, we do what it takes to complete the mission, whatever it may be.

    Hold the purse, pick up tampons in the way home for older daughter who didn’t bother to keep track of quantities (you’ll find out later), whatever it takes.

    That said, when mom isn’t looking, I prepare my daughters for slobs like me by farting and burping in front of them. My girls are well adjusted for whatever life may throw at em.

  391. I was raised by a single dad from the age of 3. He did my hair…my long butt length hair until he gave up and cut it…understandable…im about to cut it myself haha. anyways, the man not only brushed my hair but got me dressed every day until I could do it myself, took me shopping for bras, panties, feminine products when it came time, prom dress shopping, and soon wedding dress shopping. My mom lived in another state and wasn’t able to do those girly things with me. I commend all men who take their parental responsibilities serious and are a part of their kids lives. you guys deserve trophy’s!

  392. I just thought it was a sweet picture. I couldn’t understand why it would cause an outrage until I read the story. I personally still don’t understand it. I just see a sweet picture of a daddy taking care of his babes.

  393. Danita & Allen says:

    My husband and I just read this. It is the first of many we hope to read:) Thank you for sharing! What you are doing is great. It is something that more fathers should be doing. It is so refreshing to see a man stepping up for his family. God Bless you sir, you right on the $!

  394. Quite possibly the best 5 minutes of my day were spent reading this blog post. Thank you.

  395. Being a dad knows no religion or race. Being a dad is being a man. I applaud you on this fantastic article. Keep fighting the good fight.

  396. I can only hope that I could be as good of as a father as you are showing. Leading by example.

  397. Dig it.

  398. This picture definitely belongs with the other Super Dad photos, like the one with a dad and his son both wearing a cape to the store!

  399. Right on! Just perfectly right now. I saw the pic and was like, that is so stinkin cute! Daddy is fixing baby’s hair while other baby is being a cute koala. I never for a second saw skin color, dead beat, never had a racist comment come to mind, nothing that the negative people saw/said. the pic shows you being a loving daddy to your babies, and can only be assumed that you are being a team with your partner in helping out. The woman isn’t the only one in the relationship and shouldn’t be the only one. It’s a remarkable picture and a remarkable thing to show the world that daddys are equal partners too. Don’t let those negative people get you down! you keep on daddy!! you’re doing great. :)

  400. Great picture, great blog post. Thank you for being a great dad!

  401. I read this because I saw the picture and didn’t understand what the deal was – so mission accomplished! And the Ergo suits you.

  402. CC Pilgrim says:

    For those who made ugly comments, imagine the life they must live themselves to need to blow rage onto people they don’t even know.
    Good for you for being there for your children. God bless you.

  403. Matthew Bowers says:

    I love that your “angry rant” is one of the most mild and reasonable things I’ve read all day. Good job with the post, good job with the kids, good job being a decent human being. You rock.

  404. Kate Crawford says:

    It’s a darling picture. I am glad I was raised by an involved loving Dad, and married a man who is an involved loving Dad. And because of that, all I saw in this picture was an involved loving Dad. The end.

  405. I love this picture, I love your post. And I think its funny and sweet. You took a picture to prove you did it to your wife, love it. :-)

  406. Christina says:

    Someone please tell me what MDW stands for! Other than that, great post! I wish my dad was more like you when I was growing up.

  407. My fiance baby wears our youngest, and is extremely involved with our oldest. BRAVO to you for being this daddy! I will eagerly await when it’s mainstream!

  408. That’s a sweet photo, and I couldn’t agree with your post more. I love how humble you are in recognizing there are parents all over the world doing what you do. You are a really good writer, too. Now that I’ve read this, I hope to read more of your stuff.

  409. I am glad to see you encouraging other men to be the Fathers/ Daddies they are capable of being. You are a lucky man to have your babies and be able to spend time with them and know them as the wonderful individuals that they are. We need more Dads like you in the world…..Thank you

  410. Meagan Glaccum says:

    I’ve never heard of you before this article but I will defly follow your blog from now on. You’re obviously a caring father and husband. Thank you for helping to steer society in the right direction. Keep up the good work.

  411. Julie Rooney says:

    I am so sorry that you received any form of negative feedback for what is such an awesome photo and moment with your family. There is nothing hotter than a Dad being a Dad, whether he is doing hair or having a tea party. If people are so insecure with themselves, that they need to lash out at a mixed race couple, then I pity them. God obviously wants inter-racial relationships, why else would the offspring be so stinking gorgeous!

  412. DDW, I come from a generation just ahead of yours. As I became a father, I wanted to do it better than my own father, who was trying to break out of the 40’s and 50’s “model” of fatherhood himself. I think I did, and continue to do a pretty good job, but see so many young dads like you that model an even better way.

    You, and so many dads like you, give me hope for our future.

  413. All I see is something sweet!

  414. First reaction….. Ahhhhhhhhh…. Second? What is wrong? Then I read the article. Grow up people and pay respect to any man or woman who is a great parent…. They are raising our future.

  415. As a black man that very much hates the ignorance of most people, I applaud you, sir. Very well stated, defended and a good bit of a reality check for those people that can’t seem to get it straight that black men (and men of any other color) aren’t simple beasts interested in drugs and prison and being sex crazed deadbeats just because a few in the race want to glorify the lifestyle.

  416. Wow…I saw the photo and couldn’t imagine how anyone could find anything negative to say. I kept looking at it thinking I must have missed something. Some of the comments you received are really disturbing. I don’t understand. It just goes to show there are racists on every side of the aisle. I didn’t really notice when I first looked at the picture, that there was a difference of skin color…..I’m sure I noticed on some subconscious level, but we all know, regardless of race that kids come out all different ways! One of my closest friends is Black and so is her husband, they had one son come out dark skinned & one light skinned……one tended to get more of the genes from one of the grandmothers….so who knows what all goes into a child & how God decides they are going to look!! Why do people make such a huge deal out of skin color?

    I’m a white person & when I was in high school I met the first peers I had ever had that were Black. Everything was fine at first until a boy who wanted to date me didn’t want to take no for an answer and made me really uncomfortable & the girl who liked him decided she wanted to beat me up! Around the same time I met another new friend at my place of work who also was Black. We had the best time together at work & I loved her. I was so upset about being threatened & she told me not to worry, that they were just all talk. I had been really struggling with all of this & remember thinking it all out. I wondered what I thought of Black people. Then I remember realizing there were plenty of jerks who were white that I didn’t like! That’s when I decided that regardless of race, some people are good & some people are just jerks!

  417. You go dad!

    You’re wife is lucky. So many of my friends date “men” expecting them to grow up when a child comes and is sorely disappointed when they don’t act like fathers. I can tell you’re a great partner based on making it fun to show your wife how you multitask. It’s good healthy competition that keeps zest in a relationship.

    “People will love you and hate you and none of it will have anything to do with you”

  418. My facebook friend reposted this blog link and I’m glad she did. The photo made me smile, as not only do you look like an amazing dad (baby wearing ftw), but I love seeing more interricial families and beautiful biracial babies. My husband is hispanic and I’m white, and we’ve gotten looks before. It’s amazing (not in a good way) how many people are still so ignorant to issues about ethnicity and relationships/children, it’s very sad. Be happy and proud of your family and yourself.

  419. Kristie Escoe says:

    >>>>>>>>>It’s just that the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.>>>>>>>>>>>

    Truer words have not been spoken. Probably my favorite comment of your entire blog post. Well, that, and #TeamGrownAssMan …………. that is AWESOMENESS, right there!!! :) Kudus to you and your wife and your beautiful kids.

    Blessings,
    Kristie

  420. Heather Wylie says:

    thank you for standing up for your self and your kids! how terrible some of the comments, I hope your kids never get wind of these negative comments before they are capable of dealing with them. I share your dream:) keep up the great job Dad, you remind me a lot of my great hubby:)

  421. I saw this on FB and couldnt understand the “controversy” I stared at the picture wondering what I was missing until I read the post. All I can say is people suck. How could anyone have a problem with a man taking care of his little girl. Its a beautiful picture of a wonderful father plain and simple. ignorant cowards behind their computers mean nothing . Your picture and your post are perfect. as is.

  422. He’s black? His kids might be mixed? I’m sorry but I’m color blind and did not notice those things. The only thing I DID notice was a dad that obviously loves his children. I think it’s an adorable picture!

  423. Jen Williamson says:

    What an adorable picture! I never would have guessed there would have been any negative comments related to this. So when I heard about some of the responses on the original blog– I found it heartbreaking that people cannot turn situations around and see the racism and hatred that really does exist in them. Some of those comments left on your blog just made me lose total faith that our stereo typing and racist issues are not getting better. The other thing that I find so disheartening is that the internet has allowed some people (many) to say hurtful things to others that they probably would not have said to their face. I recently pointed out to someone that there’s a good reason why the adage “Sticks and Stones can break my bones–but words will never hurt me” isn’t used anymore–because it’s rubbish. Words do hurt–and it’s the weapon of choice used for bullies and bigots. God Bless you and keep up the good work at being a present and accountable Dad.

  424. I saw the picture and thought: great idea! I am going to steal this!

  425. Thank you for posting this. My husband is awesome! He is the father of four children, all of whom have different dads AND different moms. Let me explain: He and his HS GF had a baby when they were teens. His baby passed away after two weeks, due to a severe heart problem. He married me in 2004, knowing that I had a 10 year old son, who was born with pretty much the EXACT heart problem his baby girl had (but opposite side of the heart). We have not been able to get pregnant, so we chose to adopt. My hubby is 100% Mexican American. My bio son and I are 100% Caucasian American. We adopted a boy who is 1/2 African American and 1/2 Caucasian American. We adopted a girl who is 1/2 Mexican American (we think) and 1/2 Caucasian American. He has no problem helping our daughter with her hair, or hugging our boys and saying “I love you”. Not many men out there would take on a role like this, but he has, and he NEVER complains about it! He is also a very strong Christian, when many would say that Christianity is only for the weak. So, BOOM! to all of those people who can’t handle seeing a dad who actually LOVES his kids and cares for them, rather than just allowing their mommy to take that job. He doesn’t think OR say “that’s not my job” and is even the first one to help clean when cleaning needs done. Thanks to this amazing man and our now 20 year old son, my only “chores” at home are putting the laundry to wash & dry, cooking our meals, and sharing in taking care of our children.

    Thanks for being a dad who is PRESENT for his kids, and for being a dad who ADORES his kids!! YOU ROCK!!!

    Angie

  426. Devan Jordan says:

    I saw a very similar picture of my cousin’s husband doing his baby girl’s hair. I am white, he is white and his children are white. My comment for your picture would be exactly the same as his “What a good daddy!” Sad that others don’t feel that way. I honestly didn’t even notice that your kid’s skin color was lighter then yours, all I saw was a great dad taking care of his kids.

  427. Good for you. This was the first post I have read from you will not be my last. Don’t mind the “haters” they don’t do anything for anyone, but you already know that. Being part of an interracial couple with mixed babies does bring a lot of nastiness. I’m a white mom with a black/puerto rican husband and two beautiful baby boys. We feel you. Bless you and your family. High five on the post =)

  428. If I helps, I saw this on facebook and needed to look at the link to see what WAS a big deal. It wasn’t immediately apparent to me by the photo.

    • Me too! I kept looking at what he had in his hand, wondering if it was a blowdryer or something to make people think he was endangering the hearing of the baby or something. He’s right that the dumbest people are the most vocal, and we have to remember that he said the vast majority of people have been supportive. There is hope!

  429. Heather Bitting says:

    You should be proud of yourself and your family! And wow, such cute children, it didn’t even cross my mind that the mother could possibly not be black, that should not be the talking point of this photo, the ignorant will always be just that; it’s sad that such a fun and loving moment elicited such negative and hateful responses.

  430. First thing I noticed when I looked at this picture? Biceps. BOOM. Second thing? 2 adorable kids. Your wife and kids are blessed. :)

  431. Thanks for being what every MAN should aim to be – one who serves his family and nurtures the next generation. Your wife and kids will treasure this photo and, I’m sure, treasure you.

  432. LOVE your picture with your little ones! YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO YOUR GENERATION!!!!!!!! Your girls are lucky to have you AND you are lucky to have them.

  433. That is such a cute pic of your family, really stinkin cute kids too! And I agree with everything you wrote on here about it! How you could get hate mail for 1) obviously being yourself, and 2) actually being an active parent in your kids lives, who you obviously care LOADS about just like any good parent does, I will never know. The last thing I see when I look at the pic is hate, race, blah blah blah. Some people just will never be happy unless they are raggin on someone else’s life and making other people miserable! The first thing I noticed was that your kids are realllyyy cute :)

  434. Awesome article! Thanks for sharing!

  435. I’m on your corner :) Parenting takes two and we all know the internet is full of dumb people who can barely type and breathe (through their mouths) at the same time. Ignore them and keep being a great daddy and role model x

  436. I am sorry people were so rude to you. I thought the picture was beautiful. I am glad you spoke out and stand up for your family. You are a great daddy, and your girls will know/do know that.

  437. Karen Black says:

    I love you.
    And just so you know, before I read your post I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why this picture went viral. So, we ARE out there. Your family is beautiful and so are you. Your wife and daughters are lucky to have such a caring, intelligent, self-assured man in their lives. <3

  438. LOVE the picture and this post. Your kids will thrive having such an actively involved father, and the haters are either jealous of your ability and desire to be involved, or they are truly ignorant. You’re right that this is the first of your blog posts I’ve read, but it absolutely won’t be the last!

  439. I love anyone who loves their kids enough to take time for them. I’m not color blind but I also don’t have a favorite color and think all the crayons should play together nicely.

    Keep being a good dad to your kids. They will love you for it and they are the ones who matter.

  440. Raj Kiran Singh says:

    How did you manage get pony tail done, I have been trying to do it quite some time now, its tough. Any tips

  441. I saw this pic on fb and before I read the article I was trying to figure out what the dad was doing wrong. I couldn’t figure out what I was missing. Then I read the article, I figured out, wow! He is doing nothing wrong, just being a good dad. How can anybody hate on that?

  442. The bigger question is…why is this so unusual? All dads do their girls hair sometimes and play with baby dolls. Right? All moms do their sons hair and are totally into Hot Wheels and those little green army men. Right? This should be the norm. Thanks for showing us normal.

  443. Terrific post. Thanks for setting a stellar example of how to be a strong, compassionate, articulate adult.

  444. Kathryn Drummond says:

    When I first saw that picture in my Facebook newsfeed, I wondered what would make it go viral. It looks to me like a good dad getting things done in an innovative way. It looks very much like what my husband would come up with, faced with the same challenge. Keep up the love and good work! You’re a lucky man with a lucky family.

  445. I loved the picture. It reminds me of when my dad did my hair for school because my mom wasn’t feeling well. That was the tightest ponytail I’ve ever had so I can empathize with your oldest. I didn’t say anything of course because Daddy worked so hard on it. Even though we hardly saw our dad on the weekdays because of his work schedule, he was always there when we needed him like when he would drive me to swim practice at 5am after only a few hours of sleep. Thanks, Daddy!

  446. What a beautiful picture! Had to read the article to understand what the BS was about. Haters are haters. What a waste of their miserable lives. Keep doing the good work as a participating family man and loving those babies.

  447. About a year ago I wrote a blog about manhood that echoes many of your sentiments… It is so encouraging to see a man value the legacy he is building in his family, God bless you and your lovely family!
    http://mommysanonymous.wordpress.com/2012/12/26/legacy-of-manhood/

  448. Wow, what a bunch of hateful jerks. Can’t they just let the man and his family alone if they have nothing nice to say about him actually taking the time to be involved with his kids?

  449. Rhonda Stanton says:

    You rock!

  450. This man is a wonderful father.

  451. I think this man is a wonderful father.

  452. well said

  453. As the Mom of a child that went Viral back in October (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3QrJ8SjHWk), we also experienced the same hatred, close-minded hatred people are so quick to spew via the internet! All because my daughter calls her dad Papi, instead of “Daddy”?! My dream is just like yours. (http://oneforthehoney.com/speak-spanish-faith-in-humanity/)… That one day this country will see people for their PERSONAL QUALITIES – not the color of their skin, language that they speak, or any other physical characteristic. It’s sickening… I appreciate other bloggers like you that are willing to speak your mind and make waves to change society for the better! Good luck in all you do – and keep being a GREAT dad! :)

  454. this is great. I spent 5 years as a stay at home dad when my son was born in 2007 and then my daughter in 2010. I went back to work in the corporate world last Feb. I miss being home. I am also very happy now as well. Best of luck.

  455. julie miller says:

    I love your blog and wanted to thank you for your message. I was touched by your sweet picture of adorable children being lovingly cared for by their daddy. Its always about the haters themselves not you. I really look forward to the day when we can all just see a loving father caring for his precious children. Keep up the important work you are doing!

  456. I am a white mom whose 27 yr old son is half white half black. He lives with a black woman. They have 3 beautiful kids. My 5 yr old grand daughter got Ina fight at school because 1of her (black) friends was calling her names for having a white grandma. She told the girl “it don’t matter what color your grandma is. So long as she loves you and buys you stuff”. Too bad the kids are the only ones who are really color blind!

  457. Goodness! I saw only the headline and the pic on FB, and I couldn’t imagine how such an innocuous picture could cause a firestorm. When I clicked the link and read your post, I was aghast at the bullshit you’ve dealt with as a result of posting this beautiful photo of you and your kiddos. Yet you eloquently took down all of the idiots in one fell swoop with this blog post. More power to you.

  458. The best book I’ve every read in my life is “The Four Agreements”. In a nutshell, nobody’s opinion matters but yours–whether good or bad. Each person’s comment is about that person and no one else. Your knowledge of your honesty, intent and integrity are all that matters. A person may perform 1 act and (as you have learned) some people will love it and some will hate it. Love it or hate it has nothing to do with anything other than the beholder.

    I recommend this book highly. It was a trans-formative reading for me and my life.

    For what it’s worth (nothing if you adopt the teachings of this work) IMHO there is nothing bad about loving and caring for a child. People who worry about color have very shallow lives. I wish my children’s father had been at all like you.

  459. This is my first post favorite of yours and I thought it was fantastic!
    I had to read it carefully because I love the picture and I didn’t know what was wrong with it till I read what you said other people thought was wrong with it!!
    As long as your family is happy and as long as you’re passionate about your kids that’s all that matters!

    • I thought the same thing…what I am missing in this pic, anything a normal parent would do when shit needs to get done. I also had to read it, to get it. More power to you DDW, you are a fine example of a parent, and I don’t need to differentiate between a mom or a dad, you are a true parent.
      I too am a first time reader, but will return.

  460. When I saw your photo, I saw nothing more and nothing less than a go-getter dad who wouldn’t take no for an answer on multi-tasking to get little ones ready for the day. God bless you for being a stand-up dad. Race has nothing to do with it. My ex and bio father of my three girls is white and has started his third family and abuses every woman and child he comes in contact with. When I saw this photo, I didn’t see the color of your skin until I read the ridiculous, ignorant comments left by others that you remarked about. Those were horrible comments and not worth your time. Good for your for simply loving and doing for your children! Your wife and children are all lucky to have you!

  461. this I love…. I get it… I have never been more proud of my husband as when he perfected the ballet bun for my daughter before rushing her off to dance… she is now a professional dancer and has never forgotten how dad would “do her hair” before classes… for this and for everything else he does ….he is and will always be her hero as you will be for yours….

  462. As long as you know that you are doing right by your family, delete and ignore.the negative, jealous, and envious people out there. Some people are just miserable and only feel.good.if fhey can make you doubt who you are. Enlarge.that picture, frame it and hang it proudly. Your children will always remember these times with you.

  463. My husband is a dad like you and I’m so proud of him. Thank you for lauding the good dads out there. So many dads can’t do a pony tail and don’t care enough to learn because mom can do it. Thank you for being proactive in the small things and really proactive and vocal about the big things. Awesome article. Your wife is a wise and blessed woman (as am I).

  464. I really thought society was better than this, I thought racism was almost dead. The Cheerios commercial and now even this is a “scandal”. I don’t know about you, but as a human, it offends me when someone talks about my species like that. Race doesn’t matter. The world is trying to heal, let it.

  465. Afrikankween says:

    When I gave birth to our only daughter, my husband was the one who stayed at home with our baby. I had to go back to work after 6 weeks, but we did not want to send her to a daycare. All I really had to do was pump some milk, make sure that she had clean clothes, and make sure that the house was clean, and he took care of everything else. He bathed, fed, and nurtured her. I also way that he is the parent and I am just the milk lady. Of coursr I was able to spend a lot of time with her after work and on weekends, but overall, he was the main caregiver for over 8 months. After we finally decided to take her to day care, he started a business working part time so that he can have the flexibility to take her to the doctor, drop off and pick up from school. Til this day, he is the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to change her diaper, or to put her back to sleep. I love and respect any man who would be there for their child.

  466. Jessica Trunk says:

    You are amazing! This is the first post of yours I’ve ever read, and you know what? I’m sold. You sound like an amzing father, husband, and general person. If this photo makes someone mad, fell guilty, etc. then they need to check their own feelings. No one else has control over your feelings, or can make you feel guilty, except you. Keep rocking it, dad!

  467. Steve Hardesty says:

    D, I don’t know who you are nor am I familiar with your Blog, however I do know that you are someone I admire because you care. You care about your kids, You care about your family, You care enough about others to help inspire them to take a more active part in their children’s lives. Thank you for who you are and what you do. i am almost 60 years old and I spent way too much time chasing overtime to help improve our standard of living all the while I think I was decreasing our standard of life by not being with my family as much as I could have. Moments I’ll never get back. Smiles I’ll never see. That baseball play that I missed. God bless you and your family and I might add that I am so ashamed there is so much bitterness and hate for someone that is trying to just do whats right!….Yours, Steve Hardesty

  468. Rant away Daddy Dude with Daughters. Loved the point about not needing you to make lame ass dads look lame ass on their own. Here’s hoping your Dream comes true. Meantime, you and your wife are making your girls’ dreams big!

  469. A friend of mine just “shared” your blog. I think you are an amazing man. Your wife is lucky, of course, you are probably lucky that you found her. thank you. You have restored my hope that there is a good man out there, somewhere, for me.

  470. My dad is my best friend now that I’m grown, and he was throughout my college years. When I was little, he braided my hair because Mom was really bad at it. When I need advice about relationships and sex, my dad gives it to me straight. He’s been the man’s man who played football, kicks ass at poker, and likes a good game of golf, but he’s also the man who gives up 80% of his time to parent two sons with autism and one daughter who doesn’t shut up. He taught me that being a man is really just being a person, just as I have always viewed being a woman.

  471. what is the big deal says:

    my dad always did my hair and my sisters. he did our hair better than mom lol. He permed my hair and washed and blow dryed it and my dad is black. my sisters are adopted and biracial and he brushed their hair too. We said what style we wanted and he would do it. mom did her own creations or just half-assed it which never worked. He also pulled out our teeth when they were loose. finally in high school we learned to do our own hair lol. maybe it’s a Black thing! Nice to see a Black man involved in his biracial kids’ life cause the White moms usually don’t know how to do hair.

  472. Keep doing exactly what you are doing! You are, without a doubt, one of the best dads ever!! Your wife and children are very lucky to have you in their lives. I’m thankful that I have a man just like you :) and my kids are not his biological kids, but unless you knew us, you wouldn’t know it. To all the haters out there, grow up and man up! Shame on you for your rude comments and small-mindedness. For Shame!

  473. Hello. This is the first time I’m reading one of your blog posts and I just want to add…I love you and this was just about the greatest thing I’ve read all week.

  474. SoCaliMomof2 says:

    I saw this picture on Facebook. The picture captured my attention because my husband and I “wore” our babies. Especially my daughter, our second, because we needed 2 hands to keep up with our first. My second thought, was, Oh My Gosh! He is brushing her hair and she doesn’t appear to be screaming!!! Or lashing out wildly to get her parent to stop. Welll…kudos to that dad! I thought…. then, I glanced at and read the article. It made me sad. Sad for anyone who saw beyond the implication of a loving dad doing his dad thing (like my thought of, wow, maybe my husband should be brushing my banshee’s (oops, I mean my daugther’s) hair instead of me! (Joke people joke. I love my daugther. I don’t think of her as a wailing messenger of the underworld…most days..) Perhaps it’s because I live in a city and we all just live together. All of us crazy people, with different personalities, different colored skin, different cars, houses, hair, ideals. We live together and we create…a loving community. I’m proud of that. More so now because of this article. Keep it up dad. Your kids will be forever grateful for your amazing love.

  475. CB Demented says:

    Three things…

    First…Some dads enjoy killing pixelated terrorists on the Xbox, or pretending to be a rock star….WITH their kids. Just wanted to point that out 😉

    Second…To the haters and racists making comments about the author being a dead beat, etc… I’d like to point out that the man makes a good enough living to be able to take an entire month off to spend with his gorgeous children. You might consider whether you’re financially sound enough to do that. I’m not…and make a very comfortable living. I’m actually jealous. I would have loved to have been able to do that when my kids were that young.

    Lastly…well said sir. Very well said.

  476. Ashantai Yungai says:

    DDW,

    Keep coin’ work! I love “dad dying” just as much as you do. I have a stepdaughter (she’s 25 now). When she was 7, I had to do her hair too (never got the pony tail as good as yours, but it was decent). And play with Mickey Mouse dolls and have “tea time” and the works. I’d do it again in a heartbeat! Single dad here – two teenage boys. I’m black but I don’t define myself by my race. I love them to death and would go to Mars and back for them!
    Thanks for this post. I truly appreciate it and will follow your blog. DDW!

    Ashantai

  477. That is a beautiful picture, of a beautiful family. Sir, I salute you: your daughters will be strong women when they reach adulthood, because you and your wife are doing a stellar job of raising them!

  478. I applaud you! You truly ‘get’ what Fatherhood is about and what Marriage is about! Your wife and children are as blessed to have you in their life as you are to have them in yours!

    First time I have seen your blog — will be following!

  479. Patrick Jeter says:

    The people — all of them — who made those hateful comments either are or would be horrible parents. While you, my friend, are setting a positive and healthy example of how a father behaves. Your children are fortunate — thank you for sharing your story.

    • I agree he is just a dad getting his little girl ready for school.
      Being the society we have today though he is very special because he is being an involved dad that gives and cares about his little girl. After all nothing is more important than blood.

    • I was horrified at the hateful comments. What in the hell internet?! What in the hell?!

      My first reaction upon seeing this picture was how beautiful it was… I don’t understand the negative reaction. I can’t wrap my head around the sexism and racism… it just.. I can’t.

  480. I love it when writers are both dignified and hilarious at the same time. I’m glad you posted that picture and am just sorry it took ignorant blowback to get it to go truly viral so I would find it. Rock on with your creative solutions and beaming 3 year old!

  481. miriafull says:

    You are awesome! You and other great dads–like my husband– keep posting these pics and doing your fabulous husband and dad stuff, and one day it won’t be a big deal, because you’ll have made it the norm! Bless you for being a terrific parent!

  482. AWESOME!!!! I now know that my husband is not alone being one of the most fabulous fathers I know… WOO HOO!!!!!

  483. Somewhere out there is a photo of a big, burly, tattooed, biker looking dude. You get the picture – a kinda scary looking guy?

    He’s sitting down with his 3(?) year old daughter, sipping imaginary tea from a pink teaset. Because THAT IS WHAT DADDIES DO. You, sir, are an amazing daddy. Reading this post has made me smile.. and I’ll give my 1 year old son an extra cuddle tomorrow while I am being Stay At Home Daddy for him just for you :)

  484. I was one of the first stay at home dads..mostly they wanted me to watch their kids.Had a comment,gave him the evil eye and he left…it’s a noble calling

  485. Workinprogressdad says:

    More power to you brother! Love to see more dads being dads!

  486. My dad use to do my hair, and some of my best memories was him making pancakes on sunday mornings and bobsledding in the winter. (construction, so sundays and snowy winter days were when he was home) Even dog tired and hurting my dad would take time to help clean or cook or do the laundry when mom was being ran ragged.
    So I see nothing wrong with this picture and yeah I don’t get some of those people either. just go on being a good dad.
    All kids should have some good memories of their dads doing stuff like this for them. :)

  487. I didn’t see what the big deal was until I read your post. All I saw was a dad babywearing and doing his daughter’s hair. It wasn’t until I read the title where I realized that people were most likely making a big deal out of something that should be a big deal. Whether it’s race, the fact that your beautiful babies have a different skin tone, or that your a (damn good) dad doing what you do, it’s all just dumb. I’m sorry you had to go through so much hatred, you’re right, this is 2014 and we should be over all this racist/judgmental BS. Keep being the dad you are. My husband babywears and is a fantastic daddy who is 100% involved in our son’s life. I know for a fact, that if we had a girl, he’d attempt to help her rock a ponytail and maybe even learn to braid! We need more dads like you (and my husband) in this world!

  488. I love this so much. I actually had to click on the link because I had no idea why your picture would make people upset. Please keep doing what you are doing. I wish my girls had a dad that would comb their hair and carry them around. Being a good dad should not be a rarity…it should be the norm!!! I don’t know why people have to spew hate.

  489. Brushing a toddler’s hair is serious work. And I love to see a babywearing man.
    Love this photo! Good job dad!!

  490. I know this won’t REALLY make you feel better, but I literally had to read your article because I saw the picture and caption and was like “What IS the big deal?” *reads article* “Oh, people are stupid.”

  491. Love it! You’re a great dad. My husband’s a great dad too but I don’t know if he could handle baby wearing and hair styling simultaneously, that takes talent. Lol. Keep being a good example to dads and (parents in general). It’s good this picture went viral and you responded to the hate (not good that there was hate) because you’ve opened up a great dialogue.

  492. Hollie Kern says:

    What I see is a parent being a parent. As it should be. It doesn’t matter which one is home, which one works, if both work in or out of the home. As long as they are being parents. I think it is a fantastic dream that will hopefully become reality in our lifetime. As a mom I don’t want kudos for being a parent, doing what I chose to do when I chose to have my children. At least not now. Once they are older, and hopefully develop into the people their father and I are trying to raise them to be, that will be my kudos. When they become dad’s themselves and are anxious to be a part of their children’s lives. Sadly, due to the nature of my dad’s job, he missed a lot while I was growing up. He regrets it, but he didn’t have much of a choice. I love my dad dearly, he was there when I needed him the most. And that’s what sticks out in my head about him. My parents found a way to parent together. That’s how it should be, and appears to be what you and your wife are doing. I’m definitely going to be following you. :)

  493. Great photo and kuddos to you for being such an involved father. Some people are so ignorant and only look to bring others down. You know what women find ridiculously sexy? A man that can take care of his and a man who understands just how hard we work too. Also, an FYI I am white of Italian, Irish, German and Poilish decent and my husband is 100% Italian from Sicily. We are the same race/skin color and all three of our beautiful children have different shades of skin/hair color. Ranging from dark olive, with dark dark hair to milky white with blonde hair and blue eyes. It’s genetics and it happens even when both partners are the same race.

  494. Tallon Nuñez says:

    Mr. Richards,

    For me, this piece would be perfection, were it not for the fact that you are holding your child’s hair wrong, as soooooooo many male parents seem to do, and for the life of me, I don’t understand it! I mean, there is no way that most fathers have simply never seen the proper way to grip a child’s hair, modeled, by the women in their lives. Holding it the way that you are, WILL one day, result in you pulling her hair. And no it doesn’t matter how well you explain to her how she pulled her own hair, when she was doing what children do, which is everything but sit still while having their hair styled, and no it doesn’t matter if she says, it’s okay, you pulled her hair.

    The right way, is to hold the hair with your palm against her head, this helps you stabilize her head, keeping it still(er), and prevents pulling.

    :)

  495. It is an adorable picture and I chuckled because, as a mom, I saw immediately what you were doing; kudos for your creativity :-) My husband was able to stay home with our son for almost 4 years when he was little and loved every second of it. He was ribbed by people sometimes and looked at sideways for liking kids (he was a big guy). However, the bonding it created and the memories it left for my son when his father was taken from us is something we can never replace. Have fun being a Dad!

  496. I would like to thank you for posting this. I came across it on my Facebook feed (a lot of my friends are young moms) I wanna start off by saying You have an amazing way with words and are a great writer. Honestly this post made me tear up a little. I am only 22, and not yet a parent(probably not going to be for a while) and this post really moved me. I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to read something like this. I too hope that one day it won’t be a big deal to see a photo like this or to even know a father that is as passionate about their kids as you. I can say that I only know a handful honestly. Anyways, I will share this with everyone I know. Thank you for being awesome. I’ll continue to read your blog!
    -k.

  497. As a fellow Daddy blogger, I commend you on your honesty. Thank you for calling out the haters and insecure fathers who need to step up to earn the title of Daddy. Well done.

  498. Outstanding! I have been a full-time SAHD for 17 years…thank you for writing this! Keep up the good fight!

  499. I wish my Father had been a Dad like you.

  500. Tom Havey says:

    That, right there, is REAL man!!!

  501. Shannon R says:

    I am really glad I stumbled onto this blog. It’s nice to see a father actually care about his kids! I’m sure your kids will be instilled with the same self-confidence you displayed so eloquently here. I know I’d be proud if my dad did this!

  502. Well, I’m not a parent, unless the dogs count (they do to me), but I think you rock. You are a great role model and I think thus far you are raising two great role models.
    Dachia

  503. I think this picture is awesome… and I guarantee my husband would do the same exact thing with our daughter! I’m sure your daughters will love and appreciate this picture too.

  504. OK, so maybe I desperately wish that my husband did this.

    DDW, let this Italian-American mom make sure you’re doing right by your (and also my) DD’s curly hair:

    1. Are you using enough de-tangler spray? Please, on your daughter’s behalf, allow me to ask that you take your usual amount of de-tangler spray, DOUBLE it, and that may be enough.
    2. You may want to consider a wide-toothed comb instead of a brush. No worries – rookie mistake.
    3. During bath time, take a big handful of conditioner, work it in well, and then take the above wide-toothed comb and wet-comb her hair. Rinse carefully and don’t worry if some conditioner stays in. It helps define her gorgeous curls, better than Jehri Curl from decades ago.
    4. We’ve had about four or five pediatricians over the past ten year (frequent moves, what can ya do). The wisest and most experienced one gave us the BEST advice: IGNORE ALL UNSOLICITED ADVICE. Including the above.

    Your picture is not a big deal. What your daughter thinks of you IS.

  505. Simply said, I think you’re amazing. Keep fighting the good fight. Let all those horrible comments melt away and focus on helping men became great fathers, like you. You are what this country needs!

  506. Danixa Carr says:

    You rock my dude! I wish my dad was as dedicated as you. I know how you feel as man in an “interracial” marriage (Although I am mixed myself I usually get Black and get dirty stares when out with my Puerto Rican boyfriend of several years) and people only stoop so low because they lack the cajones to face their own decrepit souls. Keep on doin a great job and your daughter will be proud to have daddy do their hair. Peace and hair grease lol.

  507. Love this photo and blog entry! I’m a (female) doc. My husband is a male doc. When our first son was born I was given 3 months off of work then had to go back full time. No way to negotiate for half time work. Doctor hours are long and I was sad to go back! My husband had no contract restrictions so was House Husband/dad (took some hospital call too) when I went back to work and he was great at it! The Baby Bjorn instantly calmed my son when dad had it on! And I could work without worrying about my son’s care, making me a better doctor and mom! We swapped roles when we moved closer to family 6 months later but I know he cherished that time with our son! We still have a great marriage of 20 years and two wonderful sons and juggle parent roles often with our work! He’s a great role model for our sons!! Glad you are a great father and husband too!!

  508. When the economy went into the toilet, during the Nixon Administration, I became a stay at home dad, with my 6 month old son, while my wife provided for us on her teachers salary. I had never read any parenting books, and had no idea what to do, how to do it or when to do it.
    I really struggled for a week, until I saw young women walking babies around the neighborhood in strollers, I decided to ask for advice, that would help me be a better parent, from the first woman who said hello while I was walking my son in his stroller.
    We made a coffee and play date for the next day, she called two friends to join us and we all traded secrets we had learned out of necessity. We exchanged phone numbers (this was before cell phones and the internet) and made our coffee / play date a weekly thing. I was given books to read that I had no idea even existed, it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
    This group of six or seven women accepted me and were so kind and generous with their experiences and time saving short cuts, it was truly a remarkable and rewarding for me.
    It was the first time I had friendships with women without all the sexual games we learn to play growing up, I found it really refreshing. Unfortunately some of the spouses were less than thrilled, including my wife, several of the ladies had to deal with husbands and in-laws judgements.
    After a month, we worked out a schedule, where two moms or me would watch all the kids, to give the rest of us an afternoon where we could go out and act like adults.
    I am so glad to see that there are other fathers that take their roll as a parent and father with the seriousness and thoughtfulness it deserves.

  509. All I can say after seeing this is props to you. I have a 3 year old girl myself and my wife is always talking to me about having another which I dont think I can do. One is tough enough. 2 seems brutal lol. I haven’t had a full night sleep in 3 years and am looking forward to getting one in the next 3-5.

    I will say this though as tough as it is I can’t imagine not having her. I imagine you feel the same. So keep up the good work and try to tune out the hate.

  510. Dana Collins says:

    I absolutely love this!!!

  511. Growing up one of my best friends used to have her hair braided every morning by her father – even as a teenager. She used to say, “well he just does it better than mom.” I sometimes wonder if people who make comments like the ones you mentioned above just weren’t fortunate to experience fatherly love as children. My dad is a great father. My brothers are great fathers. To be honest the photo above is a great moment for your family album but doesn’t seem shocking at all. It is little moments like the one in the photo that your daughter will remember when she’s older. These are the moments of life and these are the moments of love.

  512. I honestly looked at this photo and was baffled as to what the outrage was. I thought I was missing something and put my face about two inches from the screen. Was the baby in the Bjorn wrong? Was the dad lopping his daughter’s hair off? Were the kids screaming? No. Nothing, What on Earth could people possibly criticize?

    I then read the article and could do nothing but shake my head. The stupidity is beyond me.

    I am so sorry you had to endure such criticism and I would like to personally thank you for taking the time to do your job as a daddy right.

    Keep it up!

  513. This was a great post! Not only do you seem like an awesome parent (I give you applause not because you are a “father doing a mom’s job” but because as a stay at home mom with two toddlers, I know how hard it is to multitask with two little ones… So high five on the pretty ponytail!!) your writing is fantastic! (As a fellow writer, your message is clear and concise, heart-filled and sincere.. The best messages don’t hide behind fancy words and those are the messages that are heard by the masses!) I probably seem like a crap writer with my over-punctuation :-)

    Keep doing what you do for yourself and yours… Your girls are beautiful by genetics and their beauty is highlighted by the fact that they are obviously so loved by both their parents. The rest of us are just blessed that you have the words to express it and the courage to share with us. Peace be the journey.

  514. Hello!! As someone of grew up with an absent father i can surely say that i admire your courage of being a REAL man a stepping up for your family especially your children.

    Its what REAL parents do…to not give a damn about ignorant, retarded bitter people who have nothing better than to always be negative. You have given the deadbeat parents a wake up call and yup…they are pissed cause a lot of them prefer their bottles, drugs and other nasty habits to spending time with their kids

    Keep doing what you are doing …and you are my hero

  515. Kate Bailey says:

    You are an awesome Dad and I for one, being a Mema to 5 kids, am proud that my 2 sons and my son in law are also awesome Dads :) Keep up the good Daddy Work! Haters gonna hate no matter what . You set a great example and I believe your beautiful children will grow up to be great parents just like their Daddy

  516. I think that picture is beautiful. In fact, I see that picture and I think of the man that I am married to and how much he loves his girls. You are a good man and a good dad and I’d be willing to bet you are a fantastic husband.

    People who see anything else but love i that picture are blind.

  517. Go you! I love the picture and I think it’s a shame that you received such hate for it. Keep being a great father and husband! :)

  518. #TeamGrownAssMan – Love that :) World needs more like you!

  519. Anonymous daughter says:

    My dad bailed early. My mother’s boyfriends never wanted anything to do with me. I don’t often think about what my life would be like had I had a dad (given the options, it seems that I got the better deal without any them). But your photo and link came across my Fb feed and stopped me cold because I thought it was the sweetest photo I had ever seen. Then I read your essay. It pushed a button I forgot I had: I, for one, would love to be able to look back and see a photo of my father fixing my hair while holding my sister–whether that father was biological or not, same race/ethnicity or not. The haters are probably guys like my dad: those too scared or immature to stick around, those too selfish or insecure even if they do stick around, and those too ignorant to understand that love transcends race, ethnicity, gender roles, biological parenthood, and more. I hope one day their friends, partners and children help open their eyes to that. Keep writing and daddying like you do.

  520. Picture is adorable. It made me miss my dad who passed away when I was 21 years old. It was my dad who took me shopping, taught me about the birds and bees and cooked up a storm in our house while we were growing up. Fathers are the best and kudos fo you for obviously being a wonderful hands-on one. Your daughters will appreciate it in years to come.

  521. Elizabeth says:

    I’ve got a photo somewhat like this that my husband sent to me. In the photo our son is hanging out in the baby carrier on daddy’s tummy while daddy does dishes. Hubby sent it to me to prove that he does sometimes do dishes. :) Our son is quite a bit older now, and I still treasure this cute picture of a little bit of daddy/son bonding while doing mundane, everyday stuff. I’m sure when the “storm” dies down DDW’s picture will become a treasured family memory.

  522. Hooray for amazing dads! Your kids are so lucky to have you; I grew up with a dad who wasn’t around, and it is so important to have a man who clearly loves being a dad.

  523. I didnt see anything wrong with this photo. I see this daily with my husband and our 2 year old daughter. Sad that lots of people don’t have a good father in their lives like you are for your girls.

    Good article

  524. My friend posted this, and I thought, “What’s the big deal?”

    I’m glad to see that you agree, that it shouldn’t be a big deal – aside, of course, from the wonders of tackling two kids and maintaining positive control on them.

    Thank you for sharing, it was an excellent read and encouragement to fathers who have enough on their plates without the haters

  525. Mate!

    Just two big thumbs up!

    Good on you.

  526. This is my first time reading one your posts & I loved it! My best friend sent me a link to it & simply wrote me saying it reminded her of my hubby. My hubby…while not a SAHD…he is in the AF & I am a SAHM…truly enjoys being a daddy : )…I’ll come home some mornings…usually after getting a workout in or some errands done on a weekend & our daughter (now 5) will be all dressed up & hair completely done…I still remember the first time that happened. She was about 2 years old (when her hair was finally long enough to braid) & I came home from an early run to find her hair done in 2 braids & I immediately asked him who did that…he says (proudly & with a big smile) him…I’m like…yeah, right of course. Well…about 2 wks later I’m typing in something to google & what I was typing started with the word “how”…our computer still remembered previous google searches that both my hubby & I did…& “how to braid” popped up…that gave me a little laugh bc that was how he figured out how to braid ; )…the man has no shame & doing the stuff “expected” of moms & I love every second of it ; )

  527. You are a wonderful man and a devoted father. I found your photo absolutely charming and only wish my ex-husband had been as kind, warm, loving and involved with his own three children. As a result of his harsh, angry “parenting” style when they were young, all that’s left is a civil but distant relationship. He still has no idea what he lost! Like many single parents, I put in the time and served as both mom and dad. Thankfully my kids have have turned out to be delightful, successful, empathetic young adults. In lieu of their own father, my dad and brother stepped in and served as positive, nurturing male role models.

    I was blessed with a father like you. He was always interested and attentive, always supportive, and profoundly loving. In turn, I adored him. A total daddy’s girl, I was shattered when he died several years ago, only in his late 70’s. Doyin, you are an inspiration to fathers of all ages, backgrounds and races. Bill Cosby’s been on the take-no-prisoners fatherhood pulpit for at least a decade now and he’s right – so many men need to step it up and take responsibility for their families. And stop blaming others.

    I didn’t know about your parenting blog, but thanks to the photo, now I do. It was a joy to read your essay. As for the haters? Meh, idiots. And, sadly, probably terrible fathers…

  528. My husband is Mexican. I am Black. When we started to plan to have a family, he asked me if he could learn how to comb my hair because our child might be a girl with hair like mine or in between and he wanted to be able to comb her hair. Great moment for me. Men have come a long way and want to be everything to their children. Nothing strange to me in this picture.

  529. Rose Boniello says:

    I wish more dads felt this way!! The world would be a better place! Keep loving your precious kids — lucky kids!!! And lucky wife!

  530. I see that picture and I see myself and think “awesome dude” I knew I wasn’t the only dad who has ponytail, braid, diaper changing, nail painting skills aside from oil changes, engine repair, engine swapping (I have an old VW), drywall patching, toilet fixing and the other stock manly things. I wonder what people would say when I’m in my tie grilling steaks with an apron on so my shirt stays clean? HA!

    Where the hate comes from is beyond comprehension! Keep it up…oh and I have 4 girls so I feel your pain!

  531. This made me get a little misty. It was genuine, honest, and passionate. I just wanted to say Thank You, and I hope this mindset becomes contagious.

  532. I just want to say thanks for setting a great example as a man and a father!

  533. I am deeply humbled and admire your mission. Those are some beautoful daughters.

  534. Do you have a brother?

  535. I love this! I love your attitude and your perspective. Thank you for so clearly expressing how much you cherish your family and are willing to care for them. Keep up the good work and may God bless all of you abundantly. All the best to you in the new year.

  536. I’m very sorry there are people who don’t see what a wonderful beautiful thing it is to love your children. I don’t even have kids, but I admire any parent (male or female) who dedicates themselves to their children. That’s how it should be, and I agree it’s sad that it’s even in question by anyone. I’ve never read your blog before, but just from this one post I can tell you are a loving good person who is creating sweet children that will be loved, happy, and better people for it.

    And good job calling out the haters and maybe helping them reflect on who they are and their choices. People can’t be allowed to think it’s OK to be judgmental, rude, and hateful. It sucks having to be the one to call them out, but I commend you! Good job being kind about it all. :)

  537. You, sir, are a wonderful testament to ALL dads out there. I took on a family of 3 (2 girls and a boy) at the age of 26 and don’t regret it one bit. I now have 4 beautiful grandkids, 3 girls and 1 boy. I can do ponytails and braids, cook, clean and all the other little stuff. Their mother and I had to share the roles because quite often our work schedules dictated it since she often worked night shifts. I learned about kids fashion during the 90s and beyond. My hat is off to you, sir, for being a great father and taking the time to bond with your children. Haters are always gonna hate, but love of fellow man knows NO bounds.

  538. Love love LOVE this! Thank you for everything that you said! My husband is a loving, fantastic father who also does his little girl’s hair, and she and I are so blessed for that. I’m sure proud of that guy. :)

  539. Kimberly Jefferson says:

    I enjoyed reading this blog, for me it is normal to see dads doing things for their kids, I get frustrated
    when dads don’t do it. The guy I am involved with has no children of his own but you would think that
    my granddaughter who are biracial were his own family, (he is white), he told me several times he gets
    crazy looks, and friends have said things to him. He makes it happen for us and we feel loved, his philosophy is love is the answer. And he will always love us regardless :) I had a great dad growing up, we
    got to do a lot of things together and it helped me become the woman I am today, my children have a good father who is always there for them. Women just need to search for the right man, and they will do right by you and the children, even they aren’t his, I know this from experience. Thank you for sharing!

  540. My first thought when I saw your picture was ” Aww, that’s sweet. Talk about multi tasking! It’s hard work doing one child’s hair while holding baby. Not easy! Good for him!” I didn’t think it was over the top, just a nice picture, just like a picture with a mum and her children is nice too. But the comments and remarks and emails you got from people. Wow. That just blows my mind. Talk about inane stereotypes and racist claptrap. You are a dad looking after your girls. I am with you. It would be nice to come to a day where dads can be seen in the same light as mums, and vice versa. We are parents. It’s what we all do. And your children do look like you (well, what I can see of each of your faces, lol). Your family is lucky to have you, and you are lucky to have them. Well, blessed, more than lucky. Keep on being who you are. You will. :)

  541. Umm, after reading the article, and the man’s explanation, I thought, “What would any other responsible father do with two kids, one of which cannot be left alone while he does his daughter’s hair? He does this.” Why this went viral with such a negative “racial” aspect is beyond me. This is a father taking care of his kids. nothing more. My kids are mixed ethnicity, not mixed race. My wife is not Elvish, or Vulcan, or Dwarf, for that matter, and neither am I. My kids have darker skin than I do, but lighter skin than she has. They haven’t pointed ears, or are able to paralyse somebody with a neck pinch, nor how to wield an axe (God help us if they ever figure it out). Why these ignorant people griped about him doing what he was doing because they had a problem with skin colour proves their ignorance.

  542. Cute picture!

    My husband got a call to come into work today. He said yes, we told the children Daddy was going to work tonight, they looked glum b/c daddy wouldn’t be there for bedtime. My Dh called work back and said sorry, he’s not going to work after all. The look of joy on our little ones faces was worth much more than the money he’d have made at work.

    Currently DH is playing mine craft while our baby boy, 4 mos, sleeps on his chest. DH grumbles a little b/c he dies more, but not too loudly b/c he’s afraid I’d take baby back.

    Our family isn’t perfect, my husband isn’t perfect, but he is a good man, and a great daddy.

  543. This is the most amazing damn thing I’ve ever read.

  544. I’m not sure why you would receive any criticism. Beautiful kids, great dad, sweet moment, great photo, lucky kids. May you all be blessed with lots of years together and many more wonderful memories.

  545. I love this picture and this article, kudos to you for being a great father. I do everything in my life for the benefit of my children, I’m a retail manager that works generally 45 + hours a week. I go to school full time, yet I find as much time in my day to spend with my kids as possible. While it leaves many sleepless nights working on attaining my degree. The people who post hateful things are those who are insecure about themselves. Don’t let there hate bother you, brush it off and rise above. The people that post hateful racist comments are just plain ignorant. It takes a male to make a child but it takes a real man to raise them. You my friend are a real man

  546. Griffonholly says:

    I first saw the picture and the first thing that went through my mind was, “Awww how cute is that!?” Followed closely by, “Oh Christ, the haters have to hate about something here we go… what could they possibly hate about this?” And of course humanity never fails. People are assholes, filled with hatred about their own lives, their situations, bored with things and sometimes look to stir a pot just for entertainment. We’re in the age of the offended and catering to those opinions rather than just letting people deal with it like they used to. Whatever the case, humanity has its bright spots but overall in general humanity has started to become rotten. People aren’t happy. People seek the bad in things before the good. People look to violence before walking away. I don’t know if it’s because they weren’t brought up with parents who cared about how they behaved, they lacked discipline or if it’s because they just wake up seething about life. I don’t know if this cycle will ever improve or will continue and spread like the cancer is already is. I am hoping for the better but something tells me we’re in for the latter.

    It’s easy to say “Screw them” but when you read through it all, you can’t help but be human and let it sit with you. Personally, I think the picture is beautiful. It’s nice to see a dad who takes the meticulous time to care for his baby girl. I wish more dads did what you are doing! Please keep up the good work! Your daughters will remember it forever and always look back on it.

  547. 😀 this picture is adorable!

    Don’t listen to the racists and the haters… it seems to me that you’re doing just fine. There’s nothing wrong with being a good dad and loving your children and there’s nothing wrong with opening your heart to someone of another race. those are both beautiful things that make the world a better place. Believe me when i say your daughters will appreciate the example you give them someday. my father was the same way and i loved every moment he spent doing my hair (albeit awfully :).

  548. Paula Radder says:

    As the world is made up of a lot of people who will instantly think the best, there are unfortunately those for whom the worst comes to mind first. Ithought your comments were spot-on and eloquently put. I think what struck me most was when you wrote “Until we can get to the point where men and women can complete the same parenting tasks and the reactions are the same, we will have problems”. It’s a sad world that the reactions are NOT the same – keep up the good job! Glad to read that you’ll keep on ‘keepin’ on’, no matter the negativity. And it WAS a cute picture… of a parent parenting :)

  549. I had a stay at home Daddy in the 80s… And never realized how lucky I was. My early childhood memories are full of trips to the park in his black and white truck, where he would encourage me to swing as high as I could, of secret Eskimo Pre runs, and (yes) of sitting in front of him while he helped brush out my looking hair. My expectations of a father were sky high because of him… I knew there were no lines between what a Dad and Mom can do. My husband knows that too. Your children (and those of ALL like minded dads) are blessed indeed.

  550. silencedogood20 says:

    Good for you. Ignore the ignorant. They won’t go away but at least you’ll have better peace of mind.

  551. First: I don’t understand anyone looking at this picture and coming up with nasty racial comments or being degrading towards you. I just. don’t. get. it. I see the pic and only see how it’s cute. I smiled and thought, “lucky kids.”

    However, like you, I can’t wait till the day when a father fully embracing fatherhood and being willing to show it isn’t a big deal. You see, my husband and I bought a restaurant 1 month before our first was born and opened it 2 weeks after. She was very colicky and needless to say, to ensure sanity, my husband was seen constantly wearing her around while he worked. If he wasn’t wearing her, then I was, even while serving. When our second came, we did it all over again. I have awesome pic’s of him staring down at his daughter wrapped to his chest and his daughter staring up with a big smile. The same pic..both girls. I love those pics.

    But I constantly (still) hear about how I’m lucky he helped out so much. It was always made to seem like he was doing something so…special. So much more. When in all reality, he was just being a great father. And like you, I can’t wait for the day that being a great father is the norm and unremarkable.

    BTW….VERY cute pic and one your kids will treasure as well as your wife!

  552. The picture is adorable!, and that’s it :) A picture of a dad with his kids. Who cares whether or not their skin is exactly the same shade! I have to say I think it’s adorable when my hubby does our daughter’s hair….those huge hands, trying to make those little pony tails 😉 , but there is love in those hair do’s :)

  553. John Tallman says:

    Good for you. Being a parent isn’t easy, but it’s amazingly rewarding. For anyone to give you a hard time for doing your duty as a father, is ridiculous. Keep up the good work!

  554. Thank you for being a great example of being a caring and proactive dad, because only when other men speak out about what being a good father means, will other men listen.

  555. Awesome post! Don’t let the negative ever get you down or let it become something worth getting angry about. You rock and fatherhood is so important. Congratulations on the beautiful family, I love your blog!

  556. this was a joy to read! I never have read your blog before, but being a single father of a non-biological child, as I’m sure you feel, has been the most rewarding experience of my life. For the life of me I can not understand why this picture has made people mad……well, I can but those people are morons. I could go on forever about the shitty dads that don’t deserve that title, but I’d rather congratulate you on being a good father. Keep up the good work and if I remember I will try to read your blog from time to time.

  557. Shannon Jo Arritola says:

    Great pic, Great blog… I look forward to hearing and seeing more from you! 😉
    Also, I agree that race, sex, sexuality… shouldn’t matter whether we are talking about parenting, or building a career, or working a job…. People are People, and we are ALL brothers and sisters on this Earth. <3

  558. Good dads are out there. But since this picture went viral based on knee jerk responses and off the cuff comentary my first take was a dad doing right. It’s a paradigm shift that really needs more public traction. Men Man Up. And it’s happening more and more. Good on you man.

  559. Desiree Duskin says:

    I’m so glad you wrote this. It is, even the simplest of things, that bring out the most uneducated from their stick houses. You look like a great dad and you sound like a well educated person. Someone the majority of our sadly closed-minded and misinformed society could learn a lot from. I’m amazed, everyday, at how far behind we are for being known as such social rights activists in this day and age. You did a great job at illustrating the ignorance from each direction. Great post. Give those babies an extra snuggle tonight.

  560. I absolutely love the man in this photo and who wrote this blog. I commend you on standing up for yourself, your wife, and your children. I am half-white, half-filipina, and my partner is black. While we have yet to start a family, posts like this that not only support fathers and encourage them to be BETTER fathers, but also support multiracial and interracial families make my heart swell. What people so often seem to forget is that we all bleed red.

  561. To be honest I didn’t even notice your ethnicity or your children until I began to read your blog about people making negative comments about it. I may be a little bias due to the fact that my child is also Tri – Racial. I guess regardless of how innocent a picture could be, there will always be someone out there that will find a flaw or misjudge it.

    I think it’s wonderful that you are masculine enough to share your LOVE of fatherhood. Because fatherhood isn’t defined by DNA, it is based on the bond and love of a man and the child. Any man can be a Spermdonor, but NOT every man could be a father, a DAD!

  562. As the daughter of a formerly single dad of two girls (before he met my mom and proceeded to be a wonderful father to 5 children) and the wife of an amazing daddy to our son, thank you. The picture is precious and your kids are absolutely beautiful. Keep doing what you do! :)

  563. Jackie3114 says:

    You’re awesome!! People are cruel :(

  564. Wow….I loved reading this. Keep ‘daddying’ just the way you are. Keep up the good work.

  565. I’m really speechless….ok, I’ll try to find words. Amazing, loving, wonderful, supportive, adorable and precious. That describes the pic of Doyin and his daughters. Keen Doyin what you’re Doyin

  566. As a man who recently spent an hour trying to get his girl’s hair to hold a curl before school, I just wanna say: Beer’s on me.

  567. “As I’ve said in previous blog posts, I’m not immune to hate mail—and some messages are racist in nature and some aren’t. It comes with the territory of doing what I do and I completely understand that.”

    NO. This is not understandable. Just like you I have a dream that one day intolerance is NOT tolerated. Race, gender and sexuality, age, who cares? As long as your actions do not harm your fellow humans, yer good. End.

  568. You’re awesome. The more good and positive you put out there the more negative you will receive from those who wish they could be more like you. Jealousy and negative behavior is ugly in any color. If more people (not just men) have their children this much love and attention the world would be a happier place. Follow your heart in who you love and what you’re passionate about. Take the hate messages and turn it around for something positive by realizing it only means you are doing something so well that it means those who can’t keep up with their actions try to slow you down with their words; laziness at it’s finest…. They should take that time they invested in hating on you to love on their daughters and sons. Daughters these days need daddies like you more than ever and boys need father to act like men to set positive examples. Goodness, this mommy could go on forever. Thank you for putting yourself out there as you focus on giving your family all you can offer. Quality time is priceless!
    Hugs & Smiles,
    #1 Fan of Team Grown Ass Men

  569. Paul Richmond says:

    Hurray for you dad. I used to do me daughters hair after her mom died, then she would brag about it to her friends at school when they commented on her ‘do. Sure wish you lived in our neighborhood. It would be a pleasure to get to know you and your family better. I share your dreams…. Every one.

  570. Douglas J Patraw says:

    Hello Doyin, Nice picture. Being mr. Mom is a hard job. I had to do it with only one. You have twice the work. I know how rewarding it is too. My daughter was 4 months old and I got laid off from work. I took care of the baby for 5 months while out of work.I really got to enjoy that time and got it down.I believe we really bonded during that time.When she was 3 her mom and me split but I made sure she stayed part of my life. I did every other weekends and every Wednesday visits until she was 18 years old. She is now 21 and a full time college student. We don’t get to visit much these days but that strong bond is still there. You know those deadbeat dads make it more difficult for us responsible dads but that difficult road is worth the journey. Thank you for posting that picture. It made me reflect on what it means to be a caring dad.DP

  571. More power to you. Pity there isn’t more of this.

  572. Catlin Mills says:

    You know, I remember being in that same position. I remember my husband Trying to do so. It was always fun to watch, and made us all giggle.

    It is nice that you are trying, and that you and the kids are having fun with it.

  573. Louise Dotter says:

    LOVE you, the kids, and your wife. If you need an extra Grandma can I apply??? xxoo Weze Ma

  574. It is the first time I’ve ever seen you or your blog and probably never will again but you had some wonderful things to say. I walked with Dr. King in Chicago as a teenager. For you to bring it to his level I think is magnificent. I became a grandmother for the first time in November and I believe my son is stepping up and helping out after he works his day job as he and my daughter-in-law decided she should care for the twins as they chose for her to stay at home for a few months. When I was a child (and a bit when I was a young mom) a dad would never have done the things that you are doing so not everyone remembers this is the 21st century so maybe give them a break because maybe they never saw or knew that a dad needs to step up. Thank-you for your insightful blog! God Loves You and so do I!

  575. Stephanie says:

    I hafta say… my first thought was that I’ll have to remember this trick! Keep sharing your truth. One day this, too, will be redeemed.

  576. I saw the pic just now as I was browsing my FB wall……I didn’t think anything but how cute it was to see a strong man not afraid to carry a baby and do his daughter’s hair. Had to come read this post to see why you used the word outrage. Just don’t get it.

  577. I’m married to a man that loves daddying too. He’s my partner 100%. And I want to be a better woman because I want to be worthy of the man he is. Involved dads and husbands are the best. Thanks for loving your babies.

  578. You have a new follower because of this post. I did see the picture awhile ago, probably when it first surfaced, and I thought, oh how cute. After reading this, I can’t believe you’d have negatives, but I guess there’s always someone to complain about something. I’m glad to see you stand up to these people. Keep being an awesome dad! None of that other stuff matters!

  579. Way to go, Dad! You’re not only a great father but also a pretty damn good writer too.

    With the rash of feminism in the last several decades screaming, “we can do whatever guys can do!”, it’s now normal to see women in traditionally male jobs–armed forces, police officers, construction. No one thinks twice about it, and if they do, they better not say anything because people would be screaming at them for being sexist. But see a guy being a great father? Well, they feel they can criticize that all they want. Ugh.

    While my dad was not a single parent, I remember when my mom went to go help with relief after Hurricane Andrew in the early 90s. I was maybe 7 or 8. My dad took care of me and my 4 year old brother for two weeks by himself. I remember missing mom, but I also remember the great time I had with my dad.

    Keep it up! Your daughters are lucky to have you.

    • I just want to reiterate that feminism, at least for myself as an identifying feminist, is about the equality of the sexes through female empowerment; but also through challenging the issue of “female only activities” such as stay at home mom as not being a degrading position for a man OR a woman.

      I want men to enjoy the same freedoms as I fight for, it should not be a degrading picture of a man doing something that has been historically female driven. I can’t remember the article, but somebody said for a woman to wear men’s clothing, or take on traditionally male jobs is seen as an upgrade from their position. For somebody (anybody, including women) taking on traditional female roles, or wearing nail polish, is seen as degrading. Pretty much, helping to encourage female empowerment would possibly lead to the roles of women as not a degradation of status and position, or women being lesser and their traditional activities as also seen as lesser.

      To me, the feminism ideal has changed and I share this with a few people I know. Clarifying what feminism means for women AND men should be shouted to the rooftops, because it’s still needed, because of what DDW mentioned in his article of getting slack as a man doing a “traditional” female role. The question for that should be “why?” and there you have what I as a feminist ask myself and others daily.

  580. Rock on! You know what? You’re a good man/dad, doing whatcha gotta do! Love that! White girl here, married to a man whose mama was French and daddy was creole! Love happens! And it definitely is color blind! People are so dumb! Do your thing! Blessing from the Davis Family! We do understand!

  581. I’ve come to loathe mommybloggers because they tear each other down just like your hate mail – with and without the racism.
    I wish they could be more like you. This was fantastic, I loved it, and I fell in love with your family just now. I may be a woman but I’m totally #TeamGrownAssMan.
    I too wish that it wasn’t a big deal – nice, loving, and *ordinary*, YES. But not unusual. I hope some day it can be like that. :)

  582. Foolish me…here I was wondering how the child hair came out.
    I did not realize that I should have been assuming that you were not the dad, that you married outside your race and that you were a dead beat which is why you had time to be fixing hair….
    Next time I will look deeper, be biased and hateful and put my ‘jack ass’ cap on before viewing anything you post…
    Im now following you…fan for life!

  583. I saw this picture and thought “aww what a cute baby” I didn’t think about a black guy with lighter skinned kids or wow a dad doing his daughter’s hair. That is what dads should do. My hubby id wonderful with my girls. They are 7 and 9 and he has always done for them. If it was something he couldn’t do, like a good ponytail, no matter how hard he tried, he would ask for help. That is what a dad does!!! IF you get “hate” mail you do what we tell our girls to do, IGNORE IT! Those hater were never taught manners, such as “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” This is the first post I have ever read of yours and I have to say Good For You, do what you want and the only person/people that have a say in what/how you do it is your wife and your girls!!! <3

  584. Jonathan Engle says:

    well, you said it: the dumb ones are the loudest. unfortunately that seems like the main function of the internet nowadays, giving the dumb ones the chance to be heard. the only voices that really matter though belong to those two little girls … and your wife. but anyway, cute picture!

  585. I honestly do not understand why anyone would look at that picture and see anything but a dad being a good dad. And frankly, that tiny hairbrush in his huge hand is adorable.

  586. Bryn Karlberg says:

    Boom is right. You nailed it. Stupidity and ignorance and laziness are present in every race and ethnicity. I have to say that after traveling in other countries, the United States really does have the gold standard when it comes to the availability of free education and its unnaturally high ratio of ignorance. We have become a country lacking in personal responsibility…it’s always someone else’s fault, not our own. Thank you, Sir, for raising the bar.

  587. Wow. This is so great! In this point in my life, I couldn’t imagine being a parent because I don’t know if I would be any good at it. I know it is very difficult and you do it with such grace. Bravo to you, sir! My only question is, do you have a brother?

  588. Regina Folse says:

    “see a picture like this and not think it’s a big deal”? Not in a lifetime! It is always a “big deal” when Daddy spends time with his daughter. A big wonderful deal. How fortunate your daughters are to know their daddy loves them. It is doubtful that your baby girls will grow up looking for a man to love them and not knowing what that love looks like. Halleluiah! Good job, Dad.

  589. Wow, I have never been to your blog before today. I saw this picture being shared and I saw the caption iluding to it going viral and was curious as to why. When I first glanced at the picture I thought….well yeah, he’s super dad and doing his daughter’s hair while holding his baby how cool is that. Upon reading your post I realized that this picture went viral for negative reasons. I wanted to tell you iam sorry for all the rudeness out there, I wish people everywhere were color blind. I also wanted to tell you that not everyone thinks like that, and (for what it’s worth), I think you are all doing pretty awesome with your family. Keep going against the grain, and props for being able to speak your mind, live as you choose, and be the person you want to be. *hugs*

  590. Gelabert Heather says:

    Gosh, what a beautiful moment! I can relate with the skin color bias too! I (Caucasian) married a dark skinned Puerto Rican, and our kids came out a beautiful in between of us both, BUT, as a result, they kinda don’t look like either of us. I have literally been stopped at the grocery shore (more than once folks!!) and asked if I was their nanny or something of the sort!!! Which was Met by me with an indignant, “no! I gave BIRTH to I them!!” Some people are just slow to change. WE know better, so we teach our children to know better, and hope that we leave the world a better place for them.

  591. My dad ALWAYS did my hair!! We had a daily competition with the day before to see how high on top my head my ponytail could go! I loved every minute of it and cherish those moments!!! He also used to trim my hair along with my brothers hair cuts!! My dad rocked and I bet your daughters will think the same of you and have those fond memories as well!! They are beautiful girls!! Best of luck and keep being a AWESOME daddy!!!

  592. Danielle Hayes says:

    That pic is BOSS. It’s sad that in this messed up society you’re not considered a real man unless you’re some misogynist scum bag with no respect for family values or basic human decency (e.g. Rick Ross, Robin Thicke, Tiger Woods the list goes on and on and on and on) it is so nice to see that there are some men out there who are actually satisfied with their family lives and accept responsibility for the welfare of their children. You are a redwood among mere sprouts. Keep up the hard work.

  593. I never have posted a comment on any site before and your post made me feel compelled. All I saw in that photo was a good man doing his best to take care of his beautiful children. Period.

  594. I think its is WONDERFUL that you and your wife parent 50/50 and seeing a father doing his kid’s hair is a wonderful site. I will be honest…I don’t know many men who step up and father like that. I might consider having children if I could find a father like you for my kids. AND skin color would not be a factor.

  595. You’re an awesome dad, and an awesome husband. The passion with which you love being a father is (I AM ABSOLUTELY SURE) one of the many reasons your wife loves you so much. My husband and I have one 8year old daughter and he is such a great dad! You articulated this problem perfectly and I love the way you politely tell off the bad dad’s. I have been a teacher in the public school system for 12 years now. I promise you that children with good dads turn out different than those with crappy ones – it’s blatantly obvious that a good dad helps shape a good kid. By this I do not mean anything negative about children without a dad or children raised by two moms, but it is to say that if there is a good dad present, the results are SO MUCH better than when there is a crappy dad present. Good for you. Your babies are lucky. Keep fighting the good fight, and God bless!

  596. Lyall Smith says:

    I wish I had spent more daddy time with my daughter instead of being to wrapped up in my profession. Bless you for being a great dad and a great man!

  597. This is awesome. My father abandoned me. I have never met him and don’t know what he looks like. Half of my family history is just not there. It was the late 60’s and he was a hippy…. kids were a burden. It does my heart good to see a man taking care of his kids and being a good father. Way to do it right! GO #TeamGrownAssMan ! :-)

  598. As a father with five year old bi-racial daughter who has curly hair down her back, I applaud any man who does his daughter’s hair. I used to get annoyed at the surprised faces when the daycare women realized I did her hair, but then realized it said less about me than it did about them and the black men they were used to dealing with.

  599. Fontaine J Danger Marsi says:

    WTF kind of world do we live in where a photo like this would get ANYTHING but love?!?!?

  600. I grew up without a father figure. My parents had a shotgun wedding when I accidentally came along. Their marriage didn’t last long because they both had problems with substance abuse, they were divorced before I was in kindergarten. After their divorce my father had a few weekend visits with me before disappearing. He didn’t reappear until I was 11. He had cleaned up, was remarried to a nice lady with kids of her own from a previous marriage. It seemed more stable than the home I was living with mom’s alcoholism so at 13 I moved in with them. That lasted two years, my father started using again and his marriage dismantled quickly and he vanished from my life again. I lived with cousins who acted as my Power of attorney for the remaining two years of high school. I moved out when I graduated at 17…. and a year later he showed up to help me moved some furniture from my first apartment to my second and that was the last time I saw him or spoke to him. I received a friend request from him on Facebook 10 years later… which is an odd way to hear from a long lost father.

    I wish I could have had a father (a real “Dad”) who lived by the same priciples as you. I’m not going to blame my father for all my problems, but I will say that it hasn’t helped me to have parents like I did either. I felt like I was easy to walk away from and that I wash’t worth keeping. To this day I have a difficult relationship with myself and with feelings of my self worth. Your children will never grow up to feel like I do because You not only provide, you INVEST. More men should follow your lead.

    As for the appalling comments you have received, I’d like to personally apologize on behalf of the entire human race…apparently racist blowhards haven’t gone extinct yet. Little men get behind a keyboard and think they are so tough, but in reality they sound ignorant. They are truly just an embarrassment to all mankind. You responded admirably, with respect and head held high.

    Great job!

  601. Wow, 10 steps forward and 1000 steps back. Racism, ignorance, and stupidity speaks the loudest but the most intelligent speak wonders. Great article.
    I’m a Chinese woman who married a black man. He is an amazing father to our son. I looked at this picture because he is no different from you. He does the same when he gets him ready in the mornings. He defines a great man.
    Thanks for this article. It will inspire many.

  602. I am new here, but I adored this piece. I had to share this with my husband because he is an awesome, involved Dad like you, and he can’t figure out why all dads aren’t like that. Many times he has worn our boys around while doing laundry or dishes.

    Thank you for writing this. You have 2 new followers here!

  603. I am a White Female… I am a White Female with Red Hair… I am so WHITE I am almost Albino (insert chuckle here)….. But on a serious note, I think your picture is INSPIRING. Your Children are BEAUTIFUL. I Envy the pigment they are GIFTED with…. (I am either red or white according to the season.) To see a FATHER taking care of the Children is becoming so common place these days that to see what has been said is nothing short of “Caveman” Mentality. I say YOU ROCK! I wish MORE MEN… Color or No Color….. Should step to the plate and do some BONDING like you do…. Maybe our Family Units would not be such Train Wrecks. I WILL BET YOUR babies will grow up to do well in school, possibly go on to college, have a career and then repeat history with their own precious gifts from GOD. WELL DONE, you ARE a FATHER! RESPECT.

  604. Holly Little says:

    What a blessing you are to your children!! I think it’s inspiring that you are publicly vocal about staying home to care for your children and how much you love it!! I wish more men had the confidence to rock the baby carrier!! The job you’re doing now is the single most important job of you life, but you already know this!! Keep it up, don’t give any power to the haters because we both know they hate because they are unhappy with themselves… We are called to pray for our enemy so that’s what I hope you do… And through your actions I know God will use you to touch lives!! Your wife is a blessed women and you are also blessed with such a great wife and precious Children!! You’re making a difference to those around you… Continue to be the change you want to see in the world!!
    Mad respect to you and your wife,
    Holly Little

  605. nic premoe says:

    First thing I thought of was….”I think we have that shower curtain….hey babe, is this like our shower curtain?” The wife walked by and said “no, but I always find it funny when men compensate their lack of hair skills by using a smaller brush.” Lol. We had to read the article to see what the noise was about. P.s. that’s coming from a tattooed skin head with no kids. Rock on my brother from another mother.

  606. My father did my hair more often than my mother ever did, since she had to be at work at 5 a.m.. I’m the youngest of three, and the loving care he gave all of us – even handling the ‘girly stuff’- is part of what makes him an amazing father in my eyes. He loves us. He loves my mother. So he cared for us.

    Your picture made me smile and think of my Dad. It’s a great picture of a great parent doing what he does.

    You’re awesome. :) Cheers!

  607. I wanted to say what an awesome picture. You are a great dad and it’s a shame people still have so much hatred in their heart.
    I am interracial (or biracial or mixed, whatever you want to call it) myself so it warms my heart to see a dad doing what he can to help his daughters get ready for the day.
    What beautiful children you have.

    My father was in the army for 22 years and I have learned to get along with people from all walks of life, regards of color, religion, or sexuality.

    Thank you so much for sharing this intimate moment.

    Please do not be swayed by those who let their hearts be clouded by something as superficial as skin color.

  608. Rosebudlloves (rosie) says:

    And this is why I will move all the way across the country in the hopes of marrying a men who lives in Texas. I know that I have short cumming, I know that being a good parent is more than picking out cute outfits and carpooling. Parenting is hard and I want it to be a team effort. My future Husband is in Texas and although he has his flows I am not marrying him for me, I am marrying him for my kids. There is nothing more beautiful, more moving, more attractive then a men who will love the one you gave life to more than you will love them yourself.

  609. Terence Clark says:

    Man, what a perfect expression of the frustrations of being a engaged and responsible father. My personal pet peeve has always been the “on babysitting duty today, huh?”. As though I’m just a stand in when my wife’s not around. As if, given the chance, I’d be as far away from taking care of my kids as I can get. I know there are other dad’s out there who feel this way, and I’m truly glad to see someone who feels this way and can put it to words so eloquently. Sincerely, thanks.

  610. I think the best response to this fantastic picture came from my kids when I showed it to them. Both my 16 year old son and my 10 year old daughter wanted to know why they were looking at the photo.
    They didn’t see race.
    They didn’t see sex.
    They saw a parent taking care of children.
    Boom!
    Here’s hoping that my son grows into a man who parents as lovingly and indefatigably as Doyin, and that my daughter has the wisdom to marry such a man!

  611. Linda Dean says:

    The only thing I thought was “wow, what a tiny brush! He really got a ponytail with that thing? I want video proof!”
    My own ex-husband carried our babies in a sling too. It never looked odd. Why should a man’s skin color have anything to do with whether he’s caring for his own kids or not? Whether or not those are your kids? None of my business. Kids taken care of? Then you’re doing the job right.

  612. Michael Young says:

    As a 6’2″, 250# guy with a ponytail and tattoos I get a few looks when I sport toenail polish out with my daughter so I can empathize to a point with some of your experience. Anyone who sees anything but a badass in this picture is an ignorant jackass.

    • That’s an awesome father! My husband isn’t as tall as you and he is bald, looks a little like a mafia member when he wears a black leather coat but when our daughter was young he would let her put makeup on him…. occasionally he would not get it all off before he went out! but he was a good sport about it!

  613. Eunice Robertson says:

    I cannot understand why anyone would see anything wrong with that image. You are doing what any man, who is trying to be the best partner he can be, would do to help out his partner with their relationship together. Marriage is above all give and take, and compromise. Here in South Africa, we are seeing quite a change in the attitude of particularly the black men. In their culture, women did everything but herd the animals. Now we see a lot more interaction between the heads of households and their children, and I just love it. Children need strong role models in their lives, and that means moms AND dads. Good for you.

  614. You are a wonderful father and man! Wish there were more like you! Thank you for hopefully getting it out there that men can be loving and nurturing to their children and it doesn’t make them weak or gay. I have 4 boys and 1 girl right in the middle. The two older ones played dolls with my daughter and now that they are all older and the two youngest are suppose to be typical “boys” playing with trucks and power rangers the 6 yr old has autism and before the 4 year old was born we bought him baby dolls to teach him how to treat babies. It worked! And when the baby started playing with toys he preferred the baby doll over trucks sometimes and there is nothing wrong with that. I think it shows how much love and nurture he has received at home from both parents. He loves to push the stroller around church with a baby doll in it and help put it in the crib they have in the cradle roll room. Thank you again for being this light and living proof that being a man is much more than being strong and manly.

  615. I just want to give you a hug.
    I’m a father whose daughter was born out of wedlock. I find that our system seems to be set up against fathers who wish legally legitimize their children. But I’m not giving up.
    I’ve spent the majority of the past year traveling between states in order to spend time with our daughter, help with her schooling and medical issues. One of our daily traditions since she was born has been to sit together watching morning cartoons while I brush and style her hair. Sometimes the results are funnier than the cartoons, but it’s bonding and love. Check out the link from a few years ago.
    https://www.facebook.com/Static.Eddie/media_set?set=a.10150543298980577.643724.639085576&type=1
    Sadly I can’t read the entire post because my daughter has just surfaced from a nightmare and needs me, but I will read it in full and share. PLEASE PERSEVERE,you are doing it right.

  616. gerald berke says:

    thanks! great picture. great story. yeah, from what you said, some nasty people posted some nasty stuff… of course! what is brilliant is how many many people were just thrilled with you, your family, your care for your daughters! what a sweet sweet time we are coming into….

  617. Its a bit sad that you even have to go into the details of the races about you and your children. I’m a Dad who often had to brush my girls hair, never thought twice about it. But there is an issue with people not putting enough value on the Paternal instincts and the fact that children do come from the Male’s body just as much as from the female. Of course the mother/child relationship is so special, especially when the children are very young. I do believe Dad’s are just as important, perhaps in slightly different ways and this value shouldn’t be belittled in family law courts.

    I am glad my daughter is old enough to brush her own hair on the way to school now!

    Marcus

  618. I hope I can be as good of a dad as you when I have kids. Ur doing a great job

  619. What a wonderful image! My husband was a stay at home father for two years and I never appreciated how difficult it was for him until he went back to work and so many people in our lives expressed their relief that he’d “gotten his act together.” !!!

  620. I just want to say you are a good man and a good father. I’m sorry you received so many negative comments from such a beautiful picture.

  621. Awesome post! I was trying to figure out what the issue was before reading…in a way I’m sad I read but also glad because awareness helps lead change. Thanks for the post and being such an awesome person.

  622. Great writing, great picture, great dad. Nice post.

  623. I love the picture and my first thought was what an awesome dad/ husband. My dad shared equal responsibility for parenting growing up & throughout elementary school was the one who packed my lunch, did my hair, got me dressed, etc. that built the foundation for the wonderful relationship we have today and I see so many of those qualities reflected in my husband and how he parents our son.

  624. LOVED the article! But I gotta know…did ya get the hair done?
    Bless you, Daddy!

    • You need to read a little more carefully…. especially an article you love….

      “After 15 minutes of multitasking, the final result was a nice, tight ponytail for big sister and a happily sleeping baby in the carrier. Mission accomplished.”

  625. TieDyesMomma says:

    20-some years ago, my dad did it for me. :) My mother “couldn’t” take care of me, so it was up to me and Dad to take care of us, and I think we managed well enough. Scariest day of my life was the one when I woke up to see a wasp in my room, and then realized that I couldn’t see it any more because it was tangled in my (thankfully very long!) hair. He got stung twice trying to get it out, but I never even felt a pull.

    When we grow up knowing we’re loved, even if money’s tight or the toilet doesn’t flush right, it’s easier to be caring toward others. And, as the responses to this picture have proven, there’s a shortage of Good Men in this world. Thanks for being one of them. You’ve also made me miss my Daddy. I have to remember to call him tomorrow.

  626. When I first saw the photo I thought cute,and I see that men can multi task too. I then read the caption so thought I had to see what it was all about. I usually don’t read all of a post, usually just the first few lines, Glad I did and you just keep doing what your doing. It really shows how much you Love your daughters. I did not even notice the color of your daughters until I read the negative comments on it and had to look back at the your photo and dads that help moms parent help our kids to be great kids and the type of kids other adults like to be around. Some people are just haters no matter what, because they don’t like themselve