I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal


The only thing Doyin Richards wanted to do was get his daughter ready for school. He had no idea the viral outrage that would cause. 


Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the best orators in the history of the world and was one of the Top 10 Americans ever. Believe me, I’m not comparing myself to a legend like Dr. King, but I’m going to share my version of the “I Have A Dream” speech with all of you.

Before I start, let me give you some background.

Most of you know this, but I’m taking the month of October off from my corporate job for baby bonding with my 3-month old daughter. It’s a lot of work being a stay at home parent, but it’s so damn rewarding. My baby girl smiles at me nonstop these days and I know it’s attributed to the one-on-one time I’m spending with her. It’s a blast.

One morning last week, my wife was running late for work and was worried that she wouldn’t be able to get my older daughter’s hair done before I had to take her to school. I told her that she could leave and I’d handle it. She countered by saying that doing her hair requires attention and the baby would get upset if I left her alone while I played the role of stylist. Again, I told her that I’d handle it. On the way out she said, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

That’s when I put the baby in the Ergo carrier, stood my older daughter on a stool and worked my hair magic. During the process, I thought, “There’s no way my wife will believe me if I don’t take a picture of this.” That’s when I set my camera up, put it on a 10-second timer, and took the photo you’re looking at right now. After 15 minutes of multitasking, the final result was a nice, tight ponytail for big sister and a happily sleeping baby in the carrier. Mission accomplished. I emailed the photo to her with the caption “Boom.” and we both got a good laugh out of it.

The calm before the internet storm....

The calm before the internet storm..

Little did I know how interesting things were about to become.

After eating some breakfast, I figured I’d post the picture on the Daddy Doin’ Work Facebook and Twitter feeds. Within hours, the picture went viral (well, at least “viral” for me). At last check, the photo was shared over 4,800 times, received over 3,000 comments, and was liked over 190,000 times. The photo was also “borrowed” by at least 13,164 Facebook pages before I could watermark it (OK, maybe not 13,164 Facebook pages…it was probably closer to 23,164 Facebook pages) That was a head-scratcher for me, because I never experienced something like this since I started blogging.

The reactions, comments, and emails I received ranged from the overwhelmingly positive to the downright nasty. But as I went through everything, I had a chance to reflect on what I hope for the future. Let’s do this.


I have a dream that insecure dads will spend less time hating on good dads and more time on getting their own shit together. I’d say 95% of the dads who follow me are actively involved in their kids’ lives and view parenting as a 50/50 endeavor (or 100/100 endeavor) with their wives/girlfriends. They send me “Thank You” emails, they’ll say it’s refreshing to see a guy (me) who embraces fatherhood as much as they do, and they’ll refer other good dads to my blog because they know I’ll celebrate them. Words cannot express how much I appreciate those men because they will play a huge role in making fatherhood “cool” again (granted, I always thought fatherhood was cool, but that’s another story).

On the flip side, there’s a small pocket of men out there that can’t stand me. Here’s a sampling of some of the private messages and comments I received from them after I posted this picture:

– “He probably rented those kids. They don’t even look like him.”

– “I would bet anything that you’re a deadbeat.”

– “OK buddy, cute picture. Now why don’t you hand the children back to their mom so you can go back to selling drugs or your bootleg rap CDs?”

– “So do you do this for all of your illegitimate kids?”

You get the idea.

As I’ve said in previous blog posts, I’m not immune to hate mail—and some messages are racist in nature and some aren’t. It comes with the territory of doing what I do and I completely understand that. However, do you know what’s funny? Oftentimes when a dude posts a public hateful comment on my FB page or Twitter feed, it’s followed up by his wife or girlfriend emailing me privately to apologize for his behavior. These women will tell me that their men are angry that I’m making them “look bad” because they aren’t holding up their end of the bargain when it comes to parenting. Here’s the thing: I don’t make anyone look bad. These guys are doing a fine job on their own according to the women in their lives.

Memo to the small pocket of male haters I have: Why don’t you put big boy shorts on and get in on the revolution of good fathers? It’s not a good look to tear down dads for doing the work your wives wished you were man enough to do on your own. If you don’t believe me, just ask your spouses. They’ll tell you.

But don’t worry. I’ll still be here whenever you’re ready to step your game up and join #TeamGrownAssMan.

Again, to the amazing dads out there reading this (which happens to be the overwhelming majority)—much love to you guys. I appreciate you. Your spouses appreciate you. And most importantly—your kids appreciate you.


I have a dream that people will be judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin. OK, so I had to paraphrase the great MLK on this one. Surprisingly (well, not surprisingly to me) in this instance, the majority of racist emails I received came from other black people. Again, here’s a sampling:

– “This would be so much better if those kids were BLACK!”

– “Look at this Uncle Tom. No chance he would be doing this if his kids were black.”

– “I’m sorry, but I can’t support a brotha who didn’t marry a black woman.”

– “Your MOM is black and you dishonored her by marrying outside of your race? You probably can’t handle a strong black woman.”


***I step away from his computer to check his calendar to ensure it’s 2014 and not 1914***

Allow me a moment to address the small pocket of racists who share the same race as me.

Dr. King dedicated his life to ensuring people could live a life free of judgments based on skin color. He dedicated his life to ensuring future generations could marry anyone without dealing with persecution. But there are people “on his team” (yes, I know we’re ALL on the same team, just roll with me on this, please) who are sabotaging his work. If the first thing you want to do is to criticize the skin color of my kids for not being as dark as mine, you have some serious issues.

Yes, I married a woman who is half-white and half-Japanese. Yes, the skin of my babies happens to be a few shades lighter than mine. Yes, my mom (a black woman born and raised in the deep south of Mississippi) loves my wife and kids because she’s smart enough to know that love is colorblind. All of my black friends and family members feel the same way.

You mad?

Grow up and stop being so damn ignorant. You’re an embarrassment to Dr. King and his legacy.

To be clear, I’m not addressing all black folks here – because the overwhelming majority of my black followers are kind, clear-thinking, and intelligent individuals.

It’s just that the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.


I have a dream that people will view a man’s love for fatherhood for what it is instead of thinking there’s something “fishy” going on.  A lot of people really dig the fact that I dig daddying (yes, I made it a verb) as much as I do. However, since I started my blog 17 months ago, I’ve come across some people who will look at me and think, “There’s no way this guy can be as passionate about fatherhood as he is. I bet he’s using his kids in an attempt to become rich and famous.” It’s sad.

Think of the Mommy blogs you like to follow (some of which have a larger following than I have). If they share their love for motherhood, you probably wouldn’t think twice about it because that’s what moms are “supposed to do,” right? But if a human being with a penis shares the same passion for being a parent, it somehow becomes strange and fishy? And that makes sense…how, exactly?

I love being a dad and I love sharing my love of fatherhood with others. Hell, being a dad is one of the few things in life I’m actually good at. Of course I’m going to be passionate about this gig. My dream is that ALL people will embrace men who embrace fatherhood instead of wondering if they have ulterior motives. Remember, we’re the good guys in this fight.


I have a dream that people will view a picture like this and not think it’s such a big deal. Don’t get me wrong here – it’s a very cute picture, and it’s cool when people say so. However, I start to get a little uncomfortable when people want to start planning parade routes for me because of it. Somewhere there’s a dad doing the exact same thing for his daughters. Somewhere there’s a dad who put his foot down with his boss and refused to attend an “urgent staff meeting” so he could leave work early to attend his daughter’s dance recital. Somewhere there’s a single dad successfully getting his three sons ready for school. Somewhere there’s a stay at home dad crushing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry for his family. Somewhere there’s a dad who would rather play catch in the backyard with his son instead of killing pixelated terrorists on his XBox.

In other words, there are plenty of good, involved dads out there. Many of them are reading this post right now.

I’ve posted hundreds of pictures of my family since I started blogging and I had no idea that this one would cause such a seismic shift on the WWW. But what if I posted a picture of my wife doing what I did in that picture? Many would probably think it’s cute, but after ten seconds of looking at it, they would probably move on to the next shiny object on their newsfeed. Why? Because it just wouldn’t be a big deal to many people if a woman did it.

Until we can get to the point where men and women can complete the same parenting tasks and the reactions are the same, we will have problems. If you want to create a statue for me for taking care of my daughters, create one for the moms who are doing the same damn thing everyday for their kids without receiving a “Thank you” or an “Ooooh” or “Ahhhh.”

These behaviors should be expected of moms and dads. No exceptions.


That ends my rant.

For many of you, this is the first blog post you’ve ever read from me. Just so you know, I’m usually the lighthearted guy online and I’m rarely this angry – but today I had to regulate a bit.

In time you’ll determine if you love me or hate me. If you love me, that’s good news because I’m going to continue doing the stuff you love. If you hate me, that’s bad news because I’m going to continue doing the stuff you hate. If you fall into the “hate” category, just send my blog to all of your enemies (that’ll show ‘em). For the rest of you, I’m so humbled and happy to be a guy you follow and enjoy as we embark on this crazy road of parenthood together.

On a side note, I wrote this entire post while my baby girl was sleeping on me in the Ergo.

It’s not a big deal. That’s just what a Daddy Doin’ Work is supposed to do.


Originally published on Daddy Doin’ Work®.

Daddy Doin’ Work: Empowering Mothers To Evolve Fatherhood is now available on Amazon. http://amzn.to/1nZirCX

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About Doyin Richards

Doyin is a father, husband, blogger, and author dedicated to creating and celebrating a world of great fathers. He operates the popular blog Daddy Doin' Work and you can also follow him on Facebook and Twitter


  1. Sharing this on my blog. Thanks!

  2. Bridgette Heary says:

    That is the cutest picture I’ve seen all month. I’m 7 1/2 months into my first pregnancy with my little girl. Your picture sums up what i can’t wait to see my husband doing with our daughter.
    It’s such a shame that we live in a society where being a good dad is mocked and tarnished. As a black woman I’m ashamed of my own people attacking one of our own for being an active father, when the stereotype is that you should be barely around.

    Out of respect i won’t congratulate you on doing your job, but I will thank you for warming my heart and giving me a sneak peek into what my future with my daughter and husband might look like.

  3. siti adiprigandari says:

    it takes 2 to tango…the same when you have kids…they are your’s and your wife responsibilities and also joy….You are a liberated man! a gender sensitive guy….nothing wrong with that, the others need to be trained,educated, and yes experiencing being a true great Dad…. keep on doing what your heart desires…thumbs up, man) .

  4. Carlene says:

    I think you’re amazing. People need to learn to mind their own business, especially when their minds are so small. You’re obviously a great dad. Keep it up.

  5. Some people only feel up but stomping another down. It’s a virus. I’m still trying to get used to it as a new blogger myself. Kinda baffling. But some get tickled to see a Dad in love. Thanks for the pic and your inspiring words. The power of love is easy to recognize <3

  6. I had to read this to get what was causing the “hype” and outrage. No I don’t think it is a big deal for a dad to take care of his kids, why else would you have kids. And I didn’t notice the difference in skin color. I gotta say though ppl have a lot of time if they actually write mean stuff to someone they don’t know or actually have to follow, it’s a choice and you can choose not to. And also a little recognition to all the moms doing the exact same thing without anyone thinking it’s a big deal, you are great. For the dads missing out, well it’s your loss.

  7. If a woman had been doing this, no one would have thought it unusual, just another good mother multi-tasking. Hopefully sooner than later, a man doing the same thing will get the same reaction. It’s changing. Not as quickly as the impatient would like, but then again people are often stuck in their roles. It’s good that your picture serves as an example to other men that real men take care of their children

  8. Josh Dittmer says:

    You have class my friend, loved the article.

  9. When it came to the comments about the kids not being fully black I had to look at the photo again because I literally didn’t even notice they were paler. What do you even call those kinds of comments!? I guess they are prejudiced, at best. I think this photo is amazing! Super manly 😉

  10. From father to father, you’re going a great job man. Its so reassuring to see other fathers be involved with their children and families.

    So many things I could relate to. I just returned to work from paternity leave this week and my baby boy smiles every time he sees me.I know it’s because of those nights he and I hung out while mommy got some sleep.

    I too decided when my first son was born that I was going to be a different dad. My father was great and so were many of my uncles but they were part of that “old school” bunch. I decided I wanted to be that and more. I wanted to be just as active and valuable as mommy. It’s not easy but its worth it. There is nothing mommy can do that I can’t do as well (aside from breast feeding of course!).

    My sons are mixed as well. My wife is Filipino, I am Mexican and I have to say, it made for a great combo. Thankfully, I have never encountered any hostility or ignorance because of our mixed heritage. My parents and siblings love my wife and kids without a problem or even a thought. If anything, the change has sparked an appreciate for things they would have never known. My argument to those idiots that would question our “mixture” is what are you supposed to do when a great thing comes your way and gives you all that you’ve ever hoped for? A good woman/wife is exactly that regardless or their skin color/ethnicity/race/heritage/etc.

    Keep doing what you’re doing. You are an inspiration to fathers and validate this new role most of us fathers have adopted.

  11. I saw the photo as I was scrolling down my news feed. The only reason I clicked on it was because of the heading ‘people will view a picture like this and not think it’s a big deal’ . I guess I was curious because just looking at the photo I thought “that’s cute” for all of two seconds and would have moved on. The words you wrote about it are very touching and I am relieved to know it was simply me being so fine with the picture that the points you raise were not concerns of mine at all. I didn’t notice your kids aren’t quite the same colour-not because I claim to be ‘colour blind’ but because if I’m looking at a picture of a man caring for two children what does it matter what the childrens colour is? I’m going to cut off my comment here because I could ramble about all of the points. I simply wanted to say, selfishly, thankyou for a) taking the time to write such a thoughtful post from such an understanding perspective, b) making your points in a way that were inoffensive and not angry in the least- firm but nice I guess and c) making me feel like a better person today for agreeing with all of your points/ not thinking there was anything odd about your photo. I hope you keep doing what you enjoy and enjoying what you do.

  12. Hey there – I didn’t see anything unusual in this photo at all. Just a Dad doing what dad’s do/should do. Your daughters will grow into beautiful girls who love their Dad and cherish the close relationship that you have started developing with them. Keep up the wonderful fathering & enjoy:)

  13. If not for that title, I would not have been interested in reading this. I almost dismissed the thumbnail picture. I tried hard to see what was really wrong with the picture. I thought the dad was tying up the hair wrongly or the baby carrier thingy was in a wrong position or the baby was choking or something…and then i read the article.

    It took a leap of logic for me to connect this to racist commentary. Which incidentally only came to me after reading this. I’m already in my late teens and this racism thing still is very new to me. Many times, reading posts about racism exposes a new dimension of hate or discrimination i never even thought of.

    Why is this even an issue? Honestly asking. Not rhetorical or sarcastic. Why? How can someones skin colour be of such an obvious thing to people.

    Skin colour or race or whatever is defined as racism is like the colour of a cup to me. I don’t notice what colour of cup or material it’s made of when talking to someone that’s holding one. It just flies past me. I don’t even take note of it. It blew my mind when i learned of this racism thing.

    Why is this a thing? How come people fixate on this? How come it’s such a huge thing?

    If it helps, I’m not from the Americas. And I am genuinely asking these questions.

  14. Yesenia Barajas says:

    Wow this is some true ignorant fuckers if they cannot see beyond color. What is wrong with these people? Haven’t they learned anything from history- our wars, deaths, and rights…I wish everyone could have experience what many African Americas, Jews, Indians, and so forth experience in the past AND ARE STILL EXPERIENCING TODAY! This reminds me of gender roles that are placed by society. We talked in class about how roles are assigned to us based on gender and well even race. It is sad not to be able to reward this man for being a great father…in which now in days there is not many.

  15. Dominick Tarantino says:

    My Son also took time off as a Manager of a chain store to have time to bond with his new Daughter. It was a very rewarding experience for him and my Granddaughter. I have taught my children that it takes two to run a household. Keep up the great job and be the proud Dad you are. My son has made me a very proud Dad to see the proud Dad he is.

  16. John Makaro says:

    I like to think of myself as an awesome dad, my wife and son think so too. As long as those two think that, then I couldn’t care less what some small group of “hate on you because I don’t devote my life to my kids” asshats think.

    Great read, great story, great picture, and great job on being a real Dad.


  17. Alexandra says:

    Wow… I read your blog after i saw the picture and i tried to guess what is the big deal (because otherwise than this is a very cute picture, i didn’t sense any problem).
    Well now i see how ignorant i am… A black man marries not a black woman?!?!?! and a father that cares for his daughter???
    It is very upsetting that there are so many haters and ignorant people. But it is very inspiring to read your story and to know that you are right:
    “the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.”

    Don`t think i need to tell you – continue to be an awesome dad and a loving husband.
    Just wish that other people will learn to be half the man you are

  18. Reading this holding my baby son and my first impressions were I hope my son grows up to be a daddy like you. Reading your blog just confirms that. Love to you & yours x

  19. I didn’t even notice the difference in skin tone… heck, I had to read the article twice to work out what the fuss was all about. Some people need to get a life and worry about stuff that really matters

  20. Anna Birkas says:

    I think we are already there. Most of us. I just never come across the people that aren’t there yet, so it is hard for me to imagine anyone not finding this normal and beautiful.

  21. I love this post!!! Race has nothing to do with dead beat dads. Every race has them but people want to be pointing the finger or giving it. This man has real balls but then is is doing what he is suppose to because he is a good human being with a compassionate soul. Blessings come in the packages called family.

  22. First time visiting your blog here, but not the first time seeing that pic. I saw there was an uproar over it and didn’t have the stomach to even see what it was all about. All I could think was this: If people think it’s amazing that a man is being active in his role as a father, I’m going to hurl. The basics, the very basics of soulfulness are marveled at as if there is something amazing in it. And, naturally, as a mom, I think how tragic it is. You voiced it here, along with a whole pile of beautiful truth. So encouraged by your perspective!

  23. Lisa Clague says:

    Good on you!
    My Dear Ol’ Dad was a hands on Dad, and my brother is one also (he has also been a single Dad raising his first son alone). I have the greatest admiration for both of them.
    All those haters out there are just missing their Dads.

  24. Alexander says:

    The first thing that came to my mind when I saw that picture was how adorable they look.

    Then I noticed the size of the guy’s arm, goddamn that is huge (probably because of the little kid right next to the arm, but man that bicep looks so big), and he’s holding a tini tiny brush while wearing a what-ya-ma-call it with a little one in it. You look so silly like that.

    But really, you guys are adorable, such cute kids, I’ll bet they love their dad.

    Don’t you listen to those assholed on the internet, they are nothing but scum!

  25. You are SO AWESOME. You have a very lucky wife and very lucky children! I’ve watched my boyfriend embrace pseudo-fatherhood by raising his two nieces (5 and 6) and new baby nephew (7 months) in the same way you’ve embraced fatherhood. Seeing him interact with his brothers’ children is one of the main things that attracted me to him. When we eventually settle down, establish careers and have children, I know that he’ll be a fantastic, involved father just like yourself! My boyfriend is also bi-racial (Thai and Mexican), while I’m a white woman, and the diversity of your family is wonderful and inspiring! We’ve gotten those “looks” and comments about “destroying the gene pool” and whathaveyou, but love is love! Thank you for your dedication to your baby girls, every parent who fully dedicates themselves to parenthood is doing a service not only to their children- who will grow up capable and well-rounded, but to the world!
    Congratulations to you and your lovely family!

  26. worldtraveller says:

    First time ive read your blog, and im now a follower. Well said and so true. Your an inspiration to all parents, mums and dads alike. The most important thing any parent can do for their child is to love them, and that comes through loud and clear in your photo and in yoyr blog. Your children are lucky to have you as a dad and your wife is lucky to have you as a husband.

  27. Mitt Romney's Black Child says:

    If you want things like this to change, maybe you should start by decrying MSNBCs racist roundtable against Mitt Romney for having an adopted black grandchild…

  28. I think this is an great picture of a Dad who is caring for his kids. Just listen to your heart and love your family and friends. 2 thumbs up for you, and keep up the awesome!! 🙂 What adorable kids you have, too!! Jealousy and hate are destructive elements in our world that we really need to rise above and not let get us down to their level. ((HUGS))

    • this makes me sad on so many levels.. he’s damned if he does damned if he doesn’t a loving family man taking good care of his kids is not something that needs to be celebrated but it should be noted that this ma is doing it right. He’s making it count… he’s taking time off work to bond with his new baby and loving and taking care of his older daughter…. shame on ANYONE who made such horrible comments and on behalof of me and everyone I know I am so sorry

      • I disagree. He is anything but damned (except damn lucky). I can understand how you’d be pissed by those comments but they are, as you said idiots. They are ignorant racists and a lot of what is wrong in our society. You, on the other hand, are what is right. Keep showing off how to win at life, we just need to be louder than the idiots!

  29. Grace, beauty and expressions of love are not always appreciated.

  30. You are an awesome dad. Wish I could have figure out the whole hair thing for my three ladies. I also can’t figure out why you want to make a big deal out of a few anecdotal haters. You had to turn it into some race thing…sorry for you dude.

  31. Grown Ass Men unite!

  32. I absolutely love this picture! It really pulled at my heart strings. You have a lovely family and are so lucky to have each other. This takes me back to when my girls were little, it was never a mom thing or a dad thing, it was being unified parents. Now I get to watch the same family dynamics with how my grandchildren are being raised. It is truly a thing of beauty.
    I do not understand the nasty comments because my mind just does not work that way. My only explanation for them and the hatred we see is that ignorance is bliss, so just let them go wallow in their blissful ignorance and keep doing what you are doing because you definitely have a handle on what is right.

  33. This is great! To see a father be a real part of his kids lives. People are unnecessarily judgmental sometimes, and for silly reasons. I appreciate this so much, especially that it is coming from an obviously good, strong man!

  34. I have never understood the race thing. Why can’t we all just be who we happen to be and there be no big deal about it. Your picture reminds me of my sons and what wonderful fathers they are. (they just happen to be white not that it matters, they are great dads and that is what matters!)
    from a mother, who be proud if you were my son.

  35. Orlan Jennings says:

    I think it is a big deal when ever any man cares for his children. I have two wonderful sons, successful and loving. They both are involved and loving in their children’s lives. Yet, every time I think of them I wish I had been a better father. For a father to be involved with his children is the best thing he can do.

  36. I had seen this picture float through my Facebook newsfeed a time or two and always paused to look it over, not because of a man taking care of his children, but because he was capable of combing his daughter’s hair and putting it into a ponytail. My hubby does well to comb our daughter’s really long hair without creating more snarls. Then I saw the picture come through today included with a link to what was obviously a blog post, so I decided to stop and take the time to read it. It sounds like most of the feedback for him has been positive, but for the rest…really? REALLY? People who try to bring others down are obviously lacking in their own lives somehow but their time would be so much better spent if they tried to improve on their own situations rather than raining on a happy person’s parade.

  37. Beautiful picture. When I first saw it, I only saw a dad with his children – I had to go back to see there was any difference in skin tone among those in the picture. Sounds like some people are looking to be offended. Keep being a great dad and hubby.

  38. I never though about anything racial either. That has nothing to do with it. This guy is just being a good dad and helping mom so that she can prepare for her day as well. He’s what they call a “real man.” I’d like to shake this guy’s hand for doing the right thing. He’s setting a perfect example for his children.

  39. You’re right to not worry about the idiots. There are so many of them who can’t get past their own barriers and who try to drag you down with them. If you’re a good father and striving to be a good man then you’re far ahead of the people who send you hate mail from behind the safety of their keyboards.

  40. PS: What you have said here really resonates with me. I have mindfully cut my future earnings by at least two-thirds by choosing options that will set me up for increased flexibility in the future. That is because I want to be in my future chid[ren]’s life, and I, too, tire of this being looked upon with suspicion and puzzlement.

  41. I am confused.

    This is a picture of a man getting two girls ready for being outside. Context tells me it’s probable that he’s the father–step- or stand-in- or birth-, he’s acting as a father to these girls. Context also tells me that this is probably happening in the morning and that he’s getting the girls ready for school or daycare or just going outside.

    I’m baffled at why this is note-worthy or at all negative. I view it as very slightly positive–not award-worthy, not really note-worthy, just a snapshot into someone’s life that reveals that they care for and about their children.

    I am also confused about the acronyms used. What are MDW and DDW?

  42. My dad used to brush my hair sometimes too, over 50 years ago. He was one of a kind for back in those days. I had to read your article to see what the big deal was all about such a nice photo. You look like you’re a wonderful daddy, and I think the meanness is coming from the insecurity of some guys who don’t want their women seeing a pic like that. I don’t often comment on blogs, but I want to give you a great big virtual hug.

  43. I found your post to be very refreshing. I was happy to see that I am not the only good father out here doing what is necessary for the prosperity and well-being of his family. I know there is a movement of men stepping up, but there stills seems to be shortage of good fathers out here doing it in excellence!!! I am an educated professional black man who is dedicated to showing my two daughters what a real man looks like. I grew up in a single parent household, where my mother had to work two jobs just to survive. I made up in my mind a long time ago that I would always be there for my children. I’m not talking about just being present in the household; I’m talking about being an active participant in their everyday world. Every morning I get my babies up and get them dressed, I make their lunches for school and I cook them breakfast before I take the oldest (9) to the bus and the other (3) to daycare. After work, I pick them up and cook dinner for my family and help them with homework and assist them with bath time and read to them before bed. I do this every day while my wife is busy training as a resident principal for Chicago Public Schools. It is a great deal of work, but I feel extremely blessed to have this time and opportunity to spend with my girls. Two months ago my eldest daughter said to me, “Daddy when I get married, I want a man just like you.” That day I realized that I was doing something right!!!

  44. Oh my. Yes I’m one who has read your blog for the first time. And I’m so glad I did. I agree that it is ridiculous that your picture should have evoked anything other than the puppy/kitten/bunny/babypolarbear AWWWHHHH reaction. Not 1913 for Gods’ sake. 2013. Thank you for that very refreshing rant.

  45. You, Sir, are a man who deserves the title of Daddy. Not every man earns it. But as a bonafide Daddy’s Girl, I know one when I see it. And your girls will grow up to be stronger and more confident women because of it. Being divorced from a guy who told me ‘you wanted kids you got ’em’, I really appreciate this picture and even more so your blog.

  46. catherine says:

    You look like a loving and caring father. My husband wore our daughter a lot as a newborn (Moby) and later in the Boba as a toddler. He also blow dries her hair before bed if she requests such. It saddens me that anyone could make anything hateful out of that picture (which I love). Continue being an amazing father, the world needs more of them!

  47. Single Dad hear and yeah its a shame almost every time I’m in public with my daughter people ask if I drew “Daddy Duty for the day”??? One of the hardest things ever i had to adjust to was dance class whispers before the “interview” as i call it just amazes me at the hateful looks and behind the back comments i get Well guess what i probably do parenting better then most mothers and my hair dressing skills are second to none son!

  48. You are doing fantastic by fighting down idiot cavemen and women who believe that times will never change. Times do change in our hearts and minds, so stay as you are, pure of heart and you’ll see this pre-historical trash minds being flushed down the Mississipi of changing attitudes.

    I am one of you who believes fathers are mothers without boobs to feed, just that.

  49. Penny Hall says:

    This is what real men do. It’s what my father did for me, and what my husband does for our child. Seeing my husband care for our child makes him all the more of a man in my eyes.

  50. Great post Doyin. Courageous and thought invoking! We should all raise our standards together rather than doing the short sighted thing by cutting each other down. I hope this post goes even more viral than the first

  51. My response to this photo?

    Look at the baby’s cheeks sticking out of the carrier!
    That looks just like my baby’s cheeks!

  52. My dad used to do my hair from time to time when my mom was out of town or running late. I always valued that time. I wish I had a picture as touching as this one (of either of my parents doing my hair, for the record).

    Sorry about the haters. Keep on being an awesome dad.

  53. This picture should not be a big deal. It should be what all fathers should be doing with their children. My husband had a father who was a terrible example, pretty much non-existent when he was growing up. From the time our girls were little, my hubby was actively involved with the care and raising of them. I always said he could dress a Barbie with the best of them. A game of ‘Pretty, Pretty, Princess’? No problem…. Once I was asked where our girls were and I replied they were with my husband. The person said, “Oh, Daddy’s babysitting today?” I just paused, looked them straight in the eye and said, “No, they’re his children……” They got the message.
    You keep doing what you’re doing. Our girls are now 17, 20, and 23. They are the light of his life and they adore him. You’re getting it absolutely right……

  54. You are a wonderful man, for stepping up and doing what needed to be done. It doesn’t matter if your skin was pink or purple….if you you wife was orange and your children were rainbow. You are a wonderful dad and the world would be a better place if there were more fathers like you.

  55. David Reitan says:

    Good article, Doyin. Came across this chart and thought it went along perfectly with what you are trying to say here. Give it a look!


  56. When I came across the pic, really all that crossed my mind is what a sweet moment captured. Jaw dropping moment came when I read your post and saw some of the ignorant, hateful, and just plain mean comments you got. What a sorry state our society is when those are the comments that cross the minds of some when they see such s lovely family scene. Keep rockin’ the parenting thing!

  57. If that was picture of a black guy in yoga pants and Baby Ergo brushing his daughter’s hair, then this would get double the internet hits…!

  58. Congratulations to you for being a caring and involved father who sets an example for all men!!! You are what the world needs more of!! Those haters who have made such awful comments are ignorant and jealous. Unfortunately, they will pass their ignorance on. You however, will pass on good parenting and ideals to your children and others. Your children will know love, security, and trust. How blessed you all are.

    • I totally agree. Doyin is just being an awesome father. All men have the potential to be great dads, they shouldn’t be angry at another person for taking the time and effort to be a good parent. And they shouldn’t be hating on his kid’s skin tone either. I live in a city where about 70% of the population is black. I see these families every day and not all parents and kids have exactly the same skin tones. I’ve seen wives who are white AND wives who are darker than their husbands. Whoop dee. What matters is that you love your kids and care for them and that is exactly what Doyin is doing. Rock on.

  59. sunkissed404 says:

    This is my first time reading your blog, and I totally understand your sentiment, with regards to you feeling like you’re a man who’s just doing what a man is supposed to do! Unfortunately, right now, men like you are the minority; not because there aren’t millions of men doing what you do every day, but because media/society chooses not to show you guys; especially men of color! My skin crawled to view some of the comments ignorant people emailed you, and my heart truly hurts for those people, because they have been robbed, perhaps, of having a relationship with their own dads the way you depict your relationship with your daughters, and that’s so sad! I am not married, nor do I have children, but I was born on Father’s Day, and this pic just warms my heart. Keep setting a positive example of #TeamGrownAssMan ….Lol I endorse this message.

  60. Good post. I am a dad with a boy and a girl. I believe our daughters are going to learn expectations about what men should be from us, their daddies. Your detractors sadden me because there is a strong likelihood that we can predict what kind of daughters they will be raising.

    We will be known by our actions and your actions speak very highly of you.

  61. Thanks for this – my husband starts his newest career endeavor on Monday and is really excited to be a stay at home dad. He says being a good father and husband is all he ever really wanted to do or be good at. I have to admit its taken me a while to realize what a blessing this is but now that I see it I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’re blessed to have him in our family and your family is blessed to have you. Keep doing what you are doing and thank you for sharing it with the rest of us – its people like you and like my husband who are changing the world for the better.

  62. Good for you, man! It’s great that you’re not only passionate about being a good father, but you are setting a good example for those who may not have had that luxury, but are worried about being good father’s themselves.

    I love my dad. He didn’t have the opportunity to spend time like this with me when I was a baby, with the exception of his days off, but I could see from a very young age that he worked really hard to support my mother and I, and his honesty and work ethic is what he wanted to instill in me at a young age, which he did quite well. But he didn’t have a resource like this to show him that it’s okay for men to be nurturing and that there’s really no such thing as “Women’s Work” when it came to family. My dad didn’t really need such a resource, but it’s not hard for me to imagine there are plenty of men out there that may need this kind of guidance.

    When my wife and I decide to have kids, if I am able to be half the father that you or my father are, then I know my kids will be just fine.

  63. I read this whole article because I honestly didn’t get what the big deal was about the photo, then I read your article and while I understand the title within context I still can’t wrap my head around the crap that people wrote to you- I think REALLY?? – just about sums it up. My husband is a work at home dad and wears our kids while he works. Thanks for showing men and women that we do not have to be subjugated to roles that society has defined for us by gender, or any other stupid stereotype some wants to parade around . Sadly the average person still doesn’t get this.

  64. I’m one of the people that saw this picture and didn’t see the big deal. Cute picture yes but neither your race not your gender made it remarkable for me. But I do share your dream, I wish it was non remarkable for the rest of the world. I had to stay in hospital for 10 days before and after our fourth baby was born. This meant dh was responsible for getting our 5yo daughter dressed in her school uniform, hair up and ribbons in, homework and packed lunch sorted, our 3.5 yo son out to preschool nursery and take care of our 2yo daughter. As well as run the house, make the meals, do bed time alone and bring the kids to visit me. Do you know what? He handled that time alone with the kids with more patience than I would probably have managed! And the kids always looked immaculate. Ok so my daughter once came to visit wearing her brothers pyjama trousers but hey, she wasn’t cold! I wish people would stop having such ridiculously high expectations of mothers while dumbing down or dismissing what a father can and does do!

  65. The most well spoken, graceful rant I’ve read about real issues that need to be addressed, that I have read in a very long time. Every family is different with parents taking on different roles out of love for their children and every family is beautiful. I’m also a multi racial female and I hope to one day raise children with someone as open minded and thoughtful as you, Mr. Richard. Thank you

  66. WOW… people are RIDICULOUS!!! I saw this picture and first thought… Yay!! Another baby wearer!! Lol My husband and I have a moby we take turns using. Its the BEST invention ever!!! Your kids are beautiful and Im glad you’re helping out their momma by doing her hair and taking care of the babe!! 🙂 Keep up the FANTASTIC work!!!

  67. I think the reason people “plan parade routes” (I really liked that, among other phrases here) from you is because we see so many fathers, even well-meaning ones, who aren’t as hands on & as passionate as you. You’re setting a standard for other fathers. A picture like this should be normal, but because it isn’t, people, especially women who, like myself, love seeing dads being so involved, eat this stuff up!! And I think people should be complimented for doing good, even if it’s something they should be doing anyway. Again, because it isn’t the norm. I’m sorry you’ve gotten the hate mail you have. You’re doing what’s right, & that’s all that matters in the end!

  68. I had no reaction whatsoever to this photo. I only clicked the link to see it after reading the title.

    So big deal – you’re a man who takes care of your kids? Forgive me for not being flat out flabbergasted. I’m pretty sure that’s what you are supposed to do so good on you for doing it.

    I liked your writing style so if this gets you a ton of attention to your creativity I’d consider it good fortune.

    Can I borrow your kids? 😉



  69. Emery Micheal says:

    What an awesome dad, fuck all those haters they are just insecure because they
    are probably not allowed to see their kids without a social worker due to shitty parenting.
    As for the race card that people pull, they themselves are just truly miserable, it shows and
    is only simple psychology. Good on you for being an awesome dad and for your wife supporting
    your cause to spend time with those little ones. Much love..love is always strongr than hate. Peace

  70. Good for you, Doyin! I’m White, descended from the Irish–both grandfathers emigrated and were naturalized–and I was involved with my two boys because I had a good role model myself. My older son married a Latina, and I’m over the moon with two beautiful, brown grandsons. The Lack-of-Color Line is broken! (If nothing else, they’ll save a ton on sunblock,) My younger one married a Scot, so the paleness persists with their offspring–but, from family dinners alone, they’ll grow up never knowing the difference. (By the way, Dr. King changed me forever when I was 15 with that speech,)

  71. The stay “stay at home dad” thing was promoted by whites back in the 80’s. There was even a film that came out back in 1983. Remember the movie “Mr. Mom” A film directed by Stan Dragoti and written by John Hughes about a stay-at-home dad, with Michael Keaton (as the father) Teri Garr, Jeffrey Tambor, Christopher Lloyd, and Martin Mull. ALL WHITE ACTORS. Father thought it not strange to stay home while moms went to work. And there was absolutely no backlash, or disparaging commentary about the men (other then a few jokes) being deadbeat dads. Now that someone of color is promoting the lifestyle…thirty years later…it’s cause for criticism. It’s clear that for some, no matter what POSITIVE image blacks portray, it will NEVER be good enough.

    • And yet Zomba, here you are, promoting racial division. How do you know that there was no backlash about “Mr.Mom” 30 years ago? Were you even alive? If you were, how old were you? Were you even cognizant, smart enough or aware of your surroundings enough to research critical opinions about the film that were put out at the time? I highly doubt it.

      The truth is, you DON’T know. Because the internet was not a widely used public domain back then. There would have been just as much backlash if we were all a bunch of internet slaves back then like we are today. And if you read on the internet “Mr. Mom was generally positively accepted by critics”, you STILL don’t know what kind of criticism it received…because it was a run-of-the-mill, average performing movie from the early 1980’s. Unless you can dig up every critical review ever written back then, go to your local library and print out every newspaper or magazine article on microfilm you can find, then you might be able to start forming an intelligent and accurate idea, rather than racist “white people are the devil” garbage you’re spewing now.

      Fact is Zomba, if this was a photo of a white guy with his mixed race kids? The backlash would be just as vicious, if not even moreso than what Doyin received. You exemplify everything Doyin is critical of. Congratulations. May the bubble of hate and self-imposed ignorance you live in someday burst for you.

  72. nancy freeman says:

    This could be my son-in-law and his four little girls:) They look like daddy but not my daughter who is lily white.

  73. You sir are to be commended. Not only for being such an important part of the lives of your children but for also being above the bigotry and hatred of some of the critics.

    I think part of it might also be that many of the haters wish that they had had a father like you! Not only are you “making them look bad” but you are also making THEIR fathers look bad. I know that I wish that my father was half of the man that you are!

  74. Betsy Lindgren says:

    I opened the link because i wondered “what’s the controversy? It’s a dad doing his kid’s hair.” I am sorry that you experience hate for being an example of love for your wife and kids. Keep up the good work Daddy! The little humans you are shaping will thank you for it if by doing nothing more than being good, loving kids. Isn’t that all we really want?

  75. Stefanie Reeves says:

    Mr. Richard,
    I’m a 40 year old African American woman raised in a two parent household. My mom stayed home while my dad worked two jobs to support us. Even with this dynamic, my dad did my hair before school, helped with homework and shared the household duties with my mom. The fact that others (especially those who look like me) would attack you for this simple act is horrendous and embarrassing. Your family is truly blessed to have you in their lives. Keep up the great work at home and on your blog.

  76. I followed a link to here from a blog I follow. She commented that the picture was “sweet but unremarkable to me” and began to talk about the maelstrom that followed. It took me awhile to decide *this* was “the picture” in part because I also found the picture “sweet but unremarkable”. The lighting’s not the best so I was having a hard time telling how anyone could come to any conclusion about whether those kids look like you or not. I’m shocked at some of the reactions you’ve received. I just wanted to let you know that this white woman in Texas had exactly the kind of rational reaction you expected. Nothing special and nothing wrong with the picture. Just a dad brushing his daughter’s hair. What’s the big deal? Good or bad? Keep up the good… and perfectly normal, non-unique… job you are doing. And thanks for giving me a new blog I’m interested in following. 🙂

  77. Wow I am shocked that anyone would view this picture as anything other than awesome, and even more shocked that anyone would dare to bring up race. I am a working mother of 2 and my husband is a stay at home Dad right now. We just do what we have to do to take care of our children because we love them. It’s that simple and basic. For anyone to suggest it’s not, than I just feel bad for them. It must suck to have such a negative view on life, parenthood, and human nature……

  78. Reverend Draco says:

    I can sort of understand some of the negative messages you received (renting the kids, drug dealer/bootleg CD seller, etc) – the modern Warfare/Welfare State is anathema to the family. . . *especially* for minorities or “people of color.”

    It is more “fiscally responsible” for a parent (mainly women) to stay single and get on Welfare (and keep a drug dealer/bootleg CD seller/baby daddy around for “folding money”) than it is to get married and try to survive off of the income from what few crappy jobs there are available – again, this impacts minorities & people of color to a much greater degree than us crackers.

    The only way to change this is with a paradigm shift – away from public schools, away from Welfare, away from punishing the productive & rewarding the unproductive. . . Only then, will people understand.

    The dumbest ones *are* usually the loudest ones – hence, a small, very vocal minority can get more legislation passed, to take more of working people’s earnings to be given to deadbeats. . . “For the Children!” This only serves to make things worse for families (children included), but it makes these dumb people *feel* better.
    A stroll through any WalMart will set this theory in stone – the dumbest ones are usually the loudest.

    • What the hell are you talking about?

      The weird voices in your head are steering you wrong. There is nothing about this man taking care of his beautiful kids that has ANYTHING to do with the “welfare state” or “deadbeats”. Go away.

    • Keep doing what is right for your wife and kids. Turn on the light and those who like to live in darkness will run away. There are those of us out here who see, approve and applaud who you are.

    • A post full of false stereotypes and racist innuendos. You expect any of us to take you seriously?

      As for Mr. Richards photo, I don’t see the big deal. Well, I know what the big deal is…. you are a black man, and internet trolls are taking every opportunity to demonize your beautiful children and yourself based on what they falsely believe about black and/or multiracial families. If this had been a white man with white kids, nobody would say a negative thing about it. But I love your positive attitude and it will be a great influence on your children!

  79. My first reaction was what an awesome dad! If only ever child had a father who loved his children. Good for you Doyin, your wife and children are very blessed!

  80. Hi,
    I LOVE this picture and couldn’t resist reading the full article.
    I fully agree with your point of view. This scene shouldn’t be seen as a big deal… but sometimes it still is…
    Recently I have started writing a blog about women and leadership aiming to inspire women to progress in their career, to lead. What I hear and read often is that one of the reasons women don’t progress more in their career is because of lack of support from their partner (e.g. don’t help taking care of the kids, don’t share the house keeping tasks etc)…
    And women who become successful and have kids are often labeled as heartless mothers…
    I see that both sides are struggling with this acceptance issue and to see pictures like this gave me HOPE. My dream is to see a society that doesn’t see a loving daddy taking care of his kids as something “out of this world” and that see a successful women working and don’t judge her as a heartless mother who neglect her kids.
    Thanks for the wonderful picture and I truly hope you inspire more dads around the globe!!

  81. Hi,
    I LOVE this picture and couldn’t resist reading the full article.

    I fully agree with your point of view. This scene shouldn’t be seen as a big deal… but sometimes it still is…
    I have recently started writing a blog about women and leadership aiming to inspire women to progress in their career, to lead. What I hear and read often is that one of the reasons women don’t progress more in their career is because of lack of support from their partner (e.g. don’t help taking care of the kids, don’t share the house keeping tasks etc)…
    And women who become successful and have kids are often labeled as heartless mothers…
    I see that both sides are struggling with this acceptance issue and to see pictures like this gave me HOPE. My dream is to see a society that doesn’t see a loving daddy taking care of his kids as something “out of this world” and that see a successful women working and don’t judge her as a heartless mother who neglect her kids.
    Thanks for the wonderful picture and I truly hope you inspire more dads around the globe!!

  82. Kristina McCracken says:

    I just have to say GOOD JOB! My husband is the SAHD and so many people think it’s strange that we have reversed roles but it works for us – he has done his fair share of pony tails too! Keep it up!

  83. Way to go man, you’re definitely an example to follow, I’m not a dad yet, but can’t wait, and hope to make my wife as proud of me as yours might be !
    I think that you are the perfect example of what should be a modern family and total equity and share of the job between mom and dad.
    Don’t pay attention to the haters, they always gonna hate, and for me you’re the one with the biggest balls, for the same reasons that my gf says “Only real men dare to wear pink” 🙂

  84. The chance that you will actually get to read this, DDW, are pretty slim. But who knows :). I just wanted to THANK YOU for calling out all the racist, judgemental, ignorant, pathetic.. the list surely goes on.. type of people out there. Yes, there will always be hate and bullying because, unfortunately, our species was made with many flaws and we love to grasp on to them for some odd reason. But it is all the wonderful people, the ones who celebrate YOU and the many others just like you, that make living in the world worth while. I just recently started reading your blog and the love you show your children is awe inspiring. The one’s who reacted to the adorable picture of you and your children with hate clearly lack something in themselves; sadly most will never gain whatever it is they are missing. I do hope, however, they are able to find their missing piece so that they can one day appreciate a truly awesome moment in life as you did. Thanks for being you, Doyin. Cheers.

  85. Men who stay home to raise their children should be seen in the same light and given the same respect and support we give stay-at-home moms. Sadly, gender (and race) still make a difference in the eyes of people blinded by bigotry and ignorance, and sometimes in the eyes of the courts. My son was a stay-at-home dad for 9 years, an African American man married to a white woman. She told him, “I’ll have them if you stay home and take care of them,” and gave birth to two lovely children whom she and her family inspected immediately after birth to ensure that the kids “looked more white than Black.” He fulfilled his commitment honorably, with love for his wife and their two children, remaining at home in a remote suburb while she went off each day to the city, to the the career that has always been her first love. For nearly a decade, she kept him from working or finishing school. Then one day, she decided she was bored, and wanted a divorce. My son was (and still is) devastated at losing the family he adored. Like a Stockholm Syndrome victim, he refused to get a lawyer to defend his rights, while she took the house, cancelled his insurance, put the children in the care of strangers for 12 hours a day, and hired a lawyer to craft an agreement that, short of a miracle, will destroy my son and the bond between him and his children. Men who care for their children are heroes — the good guys. And the fact that there are mean-spirited, opportunistic women who sometimes take advantage of them doesn’t change that. I salute all the Mr. Moms out there. Keep up the good work, but don’t expect it to always be appreciated.

  86. I looked at the picture then scrolled to read the article , when I came to the quote that said “this would be so much better if those kids were BLACK!” , I literally had to scroll back to the picture to see what color the kids were ,i didn’t notice the color of the kids , you see when I looked at the picture I saw a great picture of a father interacting with his kids …too bad the rest if the world doesn’t see it that way !

  87. Uhh.. so my first reaction was “oh no, probably another video of a daddy doing his kid’s ponytail with a vacuum cleaner.” I didn’t think anything about the fact that this man is black, and I didn’t even notice until I was halfway through the blog post that the kids were mixed race. My question is, who cares? WHY do you care? I can’t believe there are people who would think anything negative about this image, and especially not bring race into it. Who is dickish enough to actually assume this man, simply because he’s black, is involved in drugs and bootleg CDs? I mean, wtf? And WHY are people attacking him based on the children being mixed? WHY DOES THAT STILL MATTER?!

    • I didn’t notice that they were mixed race either. I had to scroll back up to see lol. it is pathetic that something as simple as a man being a good father is being judged!

  88. Good for you, and no it is not a big deal. The big deal is that it has become a big deal about a guy brushing his kid’s hair?

  89. (random thoughts) Not sure why all the negativity from posters; ignorance and self-loathing I suppose. To me it comes down to: daddy does what he has to in order to get the job done. That’s what real fathers do, take care of their families. I have two little girls exactly a year apart and they are a handful. Mommy and I share the “getting ready for the day” routine and I’m now somewhat proficient with a blow dryer, scruncies, bows, ribbons, etc. Mr. Richards, just keep on doing as you are. Your children will love you for it and you are establishing the role model for who your daughters will want to be with as adults; caring, self-assured men. Out…

  90. Who cares what all those people say. You know your a good father, your kids know it and so does your spouse. The only one that can judge you is God. Let them talk sh*t. Those who spend their time running their mouths on the Internet don’t have lives and are jealous. They are unhappy with themselves, and feel like others should suffer their pain. Let it be, let them think they are winning cause in the long run good always wins and is always better. Your living your life and doing what you feel is right, something they cannot find the will to do.
    Ignore the evil, it’s a waste of time to worry about what they say and what they do. You can only change or control what you have power over.

  91. Never Mind says:

    Who cares what they think, dude? Only opinions that matter are your kids. They look they like daddy just dandy.
    Case closed.

  92. I think you’re great, I think the tendency on the internetz is to troll. You see it with everything that’s posted, positive and negative and in house fighting through their commentary. Its an internet thing and a human thing. It proves that humans are still so silly. People are still annoyed that women found their way out of the kitchen. Power to us! I wish we would all grow up; get a passion, save a life, stand up for something instead of bringing others down. Go you, be passionate about your life…everyone should try it.

  93. Nice Mr. Richards, I’m glad there are good fathers like you out there, the world needs more dad’s like you. Thank you sir

  94. John St.Onge says:

    Hey, it’s easy for ‘black’ men to have light-skinned babies by their loving spouses and girlfriends. And It’s not so hard for ‘Light-skinned’ men to have dark babies in much the same fashion. I have a dear dear friend, she looks very Asian, but genetically she’s half- caucasian. She had a baby with a French ( i.e. basically white ) man, the boy came out blue eyed with lovely blond hair. Of course, if anybody had bothered to notice, his facial features are somewhat ‘Asiatic’. Everywhere she went, people asked her where she got her white baby from. The answer, of course, was that she got him the usual way, by giving birth to him. So, let’s not confuse this issue. It’s perfectly natural for people who don’t look the same to have babies. it has happened since the dawn of time.

  95. I use to do this for my daughter everyday. After a couple YouTube videos I had it down. Can’t let my daughter go out looking bad because her mom is trifaling and didn’t give F. What use to kill me is people thought it was something really special. I just look at it as being a parent that cares. Gotta take care of yo kids mann.

  96. I find it astonishing that any human being could look at that sweet picture and emerge with something negative, from it. Feel a little sad for those that do, hope something they read in your blog stuck with them and keep being the decent man, father and husband that you are, Doyin. You are a leader, who leads by example and although some people might kick and scream, trying to avoid being the better people they know they should be, sometimes, even the most stubborn ones come around.

  97. It’s a great article. You’re a great dad. Keep it up! Racial discrimination and gender discrimination is really rampant, I can’t quite figure out why. Stay strong. 🙂

  98. I saw the picture a while ago on facebook and when I saw it literally said “Awww!!!” and kept scrolling, lol! So your dream of having a picture like that not be a big deal was successful with me 🙂 When I became a Book Blogger last year, I did it because I just wanted a place to post all of the reviews I make so my friends would see what books I recommended and what they should read next. Little did I know that it would become so successful, but at the same time, A LOT of time consuming work I had no idea was in store for me! Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband that supports me and my success and takes amazing care of our daughters when I have to work on my blog, or now, edit books (my dream job I was able to obtain through positive word of mouth from authors!) I’ve also taken pictures of my hubby doing my girls’ hair or letting them put make up and hair bows on him because it is sweet and memories I want my daughters to have of their daddy when they grow up.
    So good for you, Dad!
    Kayla the Bibliophile

  99. Jeavonna Chapman says:

    Haters gonna hate. Dude, get a real hairbrush. It goes much faster. They do make the soft brushes in the larger size. I loved when Dad did my hair. He could not plat (3 strands) so my hair was twisted (2 strands) instead. Something different. You rock!

  100. Kim Elliott says:

    Thank you for exemplifying a truly intelligent and REAL Man. All men should take note and replicate the love and honor for the family. Children are our only next best hope.

  101. Are you freaking kidding me??? What the heck is wrong with people??? My husband is a great father, but he wouldn’t know how to do his daughters hair if you paid him! I’m sure he could…..I’m positive he could….but this father is DOING it! AND he’s doing it while holding another child at the same time! Even if he was posing for a picture, it is obvious that it is a normal thing. The kids act as if this is an every day thing. They are happy. They are well cared for, and loved. He isn’t frustrated, or confused. He is confident in what he is doing. I am proud of him for sharing this, and that he is defending himself against the jealousy of others who won’t do the same for their own children. ( I didn’t say can’t, because they can, they just won’t) this man is a great father. I look forward to reading and seeing more from this wonderful father, husband and role-model!

  102. Just Another White GIrl says:

    First off, I do salute you. I think it’s awesome to see a father so caring and interested in his young children! Too many fathers aren’t around or around but view it as only the woman’s role. Children desparately need both parents actively participating in their lives. Secondly, I’m saddened at such rude and ignorant comments. I am a white woman myself, and am offended to see racism so present in all races in this day and age. Whites against black, blacks against whites, blacks against blacks with white mates, whites against whites with black mates, the list goes on and on. Basically, it all boils down to a lack of respect and acknowledgement. People are people, bottom line. I have family members who are black and act more decent than some of my white family members. We all are the same on the inside, shouldn’t that be what counts!?! How do so many people miss that?!? I just don’t understand. Your children are beautiful! Again, hat’s off to you and your family and friends for “getting it’! Thank you for leaving your fingerprint on the world to help make it a better place. Thank you for your example to others. God bless you and your lovely family!

  103. That’s everyday for me, and I’m a black, FT Portfolio Manager. There’s a generation of dads who have their priorities in order, and that’s not unusual, just the norm for us… Investing in a legacy.

  104. Roland Kahakui says:

    Hi I just read this and I think it is wonderful. I myself am not a father, but I am an uncle and try to do my part with my nieces and nephews with immediate family and extended family. Keep doing what your doing and be the best example of a human being / and father that you can! Aloha!

  105. two thumbs up my man . let the haters hate brother. i respect what you do. i have a son too and i know exactly what our kids do to us . how they make us feel and i remember one day in a parking lot where i had all three kids with me , one was still on the arm so i mange to keep him in one arm get the other two outta the car close and lock all doors , take out the pram and set it up in a shake like motion with one hand . the lady in the car next to mine got out and asked me to show her the move with the pram and the kids. i just smiled and kept on enjoying fatherhood. Enough respect my brother

  106. great article!

    As a stay at home father of a 11 yr old girl and 7 yr old boy i love this.

    My 11 yr old has been in gymnastics for years. We were at a gym where the mothers would whisper about me because i was the one who went, who took her to tournaments, who was the one involved in it. We finally left because of a coach. The new gym? nobody says crap besides how they like seeing a dad who cares.

    Thanks again! more people like you out int he public eye helps those of us at home.

  107. I shared this on facebook, twitter and other sites, and added the following Comments with this article. Thank you so much for being an awesome dad!!!

    I have to say that i wish my father had been like this. He was this EPIC, ONCE in my life when he took me to a father/daughter dinner at my grade school. he took me shopping for a dress, shoes and beautiful, what i call princess coats. You know the ones with the big hoods and have fur around the hood and sleeves. Shiny, black patent leather shoes and a velvet red dress. And yes he did my hair into 4 braided pony tails. He even let me pick all the stuff out and just bought it for me and each piece was actual new, from a name brand store. Which was a huge deal as he would normally one spend money on my brothers and sisters for new clothes. All my other stuff was only allowed to come from second hand stores. Not a big deal of course, but to a child, seeing the rest of the family get new stuff, it was pretty heartbreaking.

    But i digress, this article made remember that and I cherish this one memory of a man that used me as a whipping girl, pretty much all my young life and one magic night spent having a good time. I even got to eat as much as a want and whatever I wanted. I ate two cookies first and thought for sure I was going to get a beating after shoving the 1st one in my mouth, but he handed me a second one and there was no slaps or hard words, and after that I had a great night. And OMG I was so full and happy.

    So it really does piss me off that there are such assholes in the world still that make fun of a man that is willing to do his child’s hair. I would of killed, no like really killed to have my father touch me in a non-beating way. To those asshole that think this guy is lame or still a dead beat or not a real man:

    Fuck you and die in a fucking fire, your fucked up piece of non loving shit.

    Yep, the Marilyn is a little annoyed. And now I want to cry and stab something , all at the same time.

  108. See, I’d seen this picture before, and the only thought that crossed my mind was that it was hilarious that you were using that little teeny tiny brush. 🙂

    As for commenting on the ethnicity of the kids… I never even would have noticed if you hadn’t mentioned it. It’s not so great of a shade difference that it couldn’t be accounted for by simple lighting and shadow. *headshake* I can’t even imagine trying to inspect the picture so closely to tell, let alone caring.

  109. wow! i dont know how people can be so god damn stupid!!! i am a single mom…my daughters dad left because drugs were more important. wanna know the funny part? hes white!! as am i but it just goes to show you colour isnt the problem!! there is one race… the human race! i cant believe people cannot appreciate what this picture shows.. it shows a father who would do anything to make his family happy….including himself…taking care of your kids is the one joy 95% (not sure if its exactly 95) of the population dream about at one point in their life…but to start hating because of the amount of skin pigment one has is just by far disgusting!!! i give this guy props for standing up and showing people how much fun it is to be parent…. i dont even know the guy and i am so proud of him!!! keep up the good parenting!!! and to all who have heard one of these sayings by someone regarding their parenting “dont do that, just calm down, your not doing it right” or anything along those lines that have made you feel like a bad parent dont listen to them!!!!! everyone who is there for their kid is gonna be the best parent in their childs eyes noone but yourself knows exactly what goes on at home and you are dealing with it accordingly. you are a great parent!!! we all get frustrated or mad sometimes but who doesnt??

  110. I saw your photo on my FB feed. The headline was confusing because I couldn’t see anything wrong, so I had to read it. It’s a great article. It’s a great photo. And now I must tell you that my husband of 26 years was taken from us 5 years ago this month. Our daughters were 16 and 13 (and 4 days) old when the police rang our doorbell. He was the greatest father ever. As an opera singer, he had afternoons free, between morning rehearsals and evening performances, and he took full advantage of this GIFT of time with our girls. At each milestone, each achievement, each birthday & holiday, I weep for our girls that their strong, loving Daddy can’t take them in his arms and tell them how proud he is of them. And I weep for him that he must be denied this pleasure. My Christmas gift this year was that the girls will each choose her favorite photo of herself with Daddy, and I’ll have it put onto fabric & make a pillow for them. The back side of the pillow will be a piece of his bathrobe. I pray you will also know the Joy of Grandfatherhood! If this photo were in my own photo album, it would be in the running for one of our Daddy-pillows. Hey Dads: Make some sweet memories for your kids. There may be a day where those are all there are to guide them into adulthood and into parenthood.

  111. I sat and looked at this picture for about 5 minutes before I actually read the article. I was searching for a reason why people would complain about this. It just didn’t make sense. I looked at that picture and all I thought was, Wow, what an amazing Dad. When I read the remarks being written, it just didn’t make sense. Just a bunch of stupid people spouting off stupid crap, being racist and obviously jealous of how amazing this Dad is. I see this so often, insecure people who would rather attack those who are better then them rather then change. It’s a pandemic in this day in age, the insecure attacking those who they are threatened by. Leaves such a negative world that we live in. I’m sure a few of those comments were made because someone thought of something funny after a previous comment. But for the most part, it’s just ignorance. I say Awesome on you Dad. I wish more men would follow in your foot steps and be this active in their child’s upbringing. And for those who attacked him, ask yourself one question “Am I saying this because I truly feel this way? Or am I saying this because he makes you feel bad about yourself?”. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for you to take the time to change yourself.

  112. Wow – I have not even gotten past reading the first group of hate comments you received and I am blown away at how cruel people are! Who do they think they are, judging and stereotyping and hating?! I am so sorry you have had to endure this, but also so glad you are a person full of love – love for your daughters and family, but also ultimately you are full of love for humanity if you are able to move past these slurs and write such positive words. THANK YOU for being full of love and for sharing your love with the world via the internet.

  113. This is NOT for women whom aren’t in control of their emotions.
    I’m starting to understand why my Great-Grandfather stayed around, also my Grandfather, but something happened that caused my Father not to… Now these FEMALE authors are hitting the nail on the head. #Rebellion

    The books EVERY woman should’ve been given in their late teens:

    What our mothers didn’t tell us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman by Danielle Crittenden

    The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know — and Men Can’t Say by Suzanne Venker and Phyllis Schlafly

    The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men by Christina Hoff Sommers

    Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters by Helen Smith

  114. Good for you man! What kind of assholes would write shit like that – especially when the picture proves how capable fathers can be. Your kids are beautiful, all the best!

  115. I think you are a stand up man and be proud of what you do, my dad was a single father mother wet nurse and everything else to me and I would not be the woman I am today without him so you keep doing you and as far as the color of the kids I hadn’t noticed until I read the article I just saw a man taking care of his and it warmed my heart, but I suppose that people must have thought the same of my dad especially since it was 1972 and segregation wasn’t that far behind us. Stay blessed

  116. I love this picture. it goes to show you that there are real guys out there that will step up to help out with their children and even in an inventive way. as a single mom i applaud you for sharing this pic. Kudos to you and ur family !!

  117. Teeninchee says:

    Sad thing is, the person who ranted about you not doing this if your children were not “bi-racial” (truth is MOST of us are multi-racial but happen to look/identify more with one race or another), might just have been one of those who would have diminished the value of the man in their lives who WANTED to do such daddy-type things with his children. Oftentimes we don’t accuse people of things we wouldn’t do/have not done ourselves. IJS

  118. Thank you for this. Keep being one of the good dads out there, and fuck the rest who try and put you down. In the end, it is only your kids’ opinions of you that matters.

  119. Way to go man… you make all us Dad out here very proud!!! Keep doing right by your kids and to hell with all these haters. The only opinion that matters is your kids, and it quite obvious they love their dad with all their heart. Thank you.

  120. madlin113 says:

    I think this is amazing and i think a real man would love and take care of their kids just like this guy and just like their mother would love and care for them!!!!!!!!!!

  121. Stay the man you are Doyin. If my ex-partner had been a little bit like you we might still be together, or at least would have remained friends. Have to admit I envy your wife and I’m sure my son will feel the same about your kids. Don’t change, stay who you are and disregard those who say otherwise.

  122. “It’s just that the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.”

    That is so very true. Good for you for taking it in stride.

  123. Love this picture, and blog note. It is too bad the racism and hate comes from both sides.

  124. Elizabeth says:

    My “dad” is a man who married my mom who had two little girls from her ex husband. He comes from a country where “machisimo” is the norm. Yet this man would have tea parties, teach us sports, play airplane, do any asinine thing imaginable…just to see us laugh. And when we grew older, he was the one who would put on his coat and shoes to head out the door for a confrontation if someone made us cry (we stopped him, but we knew he’d do it for us). And now he is the grandfather who wants to spend every second of his day with his grandkids. He does doctor’s appointments, brushes the hair, picks up from school, you name it. And he is not even blood related! When he said “I do” to my mother all those years ago, he meant it. He married into a family, and that family became HIS. Which makes my blood boil when I hear the comments you received. My life would’ve been a mess without my dad. Mom is the best, but I needed a Daddy, and the good lord sent one. So thankful you are here, doing what you do, because I know first-hand the importance a good father can make.

  125. Not a big deal at all says:

    Actually, when I first saw the picture, I had to look hard to see what the big deal was and before I clicked to enlarge, I thought maybe you were cutting all your daughter’s hair off, hahah. But then again, my brother in law was a stay at home dad for my niece, so it doesn’t seem unusual to me for a dad to be doing whatever day-to-day tasks being a parent involves.

  126. There is nothing wrong with the picture at all, if anything there is definitely something wrong with the people hating and disrespecting the guy. He is doing what he thinks a daddy should do for their kids, whats is wrong with doing the right thing for your kids? My father use to take care of me and my sister like that , and that is wrong. Those people with the negative comment should think about if they are the one doing the right thing. I see this picture and I think is the sweetest thing ever.

  127. This is a beautiful picture of a dad caring for his kids. Ignore the haters. They are reflecting only what is missing in their own life. Life goes by fast. A lot of parents miss the small stuff, which is all that truly matters. Carry on good man!

  128. This is pretty funny. My wife took a picture of me doing my daughter’s hair for school. While my 1 month old was behind me doing mine. And the crazy thing about it is that I still feel “macho”.

    Keep doing what you do. There are a lot of strong brothers that support what you are doing including myself. I work from home so I see my kids all the time. It is one of the greatest gifts.

    My sister sent me the link to this post. I am glad she did.

  129. I just saw a link to this article on Facebook, and I cannot tell you how impressed I am. I’m a BIG believer in a father’s rights…and his responsibilities. Being a man does not make you an inept parent. I love being a Dad. Always have, always will. And most fathers I know do too. (I’ve always said that we may be tough as nails on the outside, but we’re marshmallows on the inside, especially when it comes to our kids.) Our job is to Love, Guide and Protect, and any man worth his salt does this to the best of his ability.

    Pay no heed to the haters – their opinions mean nothing.

    You, sir, have just gained another fan.

  130. Phly Jambor says:

    Love the picture, love the “rant” even more! Thank you for showing the world what fatherhood is supposed to look like, love in action. 🙂

  131. We have to remember that the brain-dead megaphone makes the loudest people the most noticed, but it doesn’t mean they are the majority. A couple racist, sexist jerks may be screaming awfully loud, but I think the majority of Americans are ready to respect a good dad. Keep it up.

  132. I will admit that this is the first time I am reading one of your blogs, but I’m hooked. You are intelligent, eloquent, and funny. Don’t let the stupid burn up too much of your attention. 🙂

  133. About 27 years ago my boyfriend took time off from his job to be a stay at home dad to a toddler son and twin newborn boys. Some years later, after his divorce, he made a point to stay in his sons’ lives every chance he got, even though he often worked 16 hour shifts as a correction officer. Years later, he was in a relationship which resulted in the birth of his daughter, who is his pride and joy. He also spends as much time as he can with her as well.
    After we started talking, when we started getting serious, one of the first things he told me was that his kids always come first. (Apparently he’d met other women where this was an issue)… I looked at him and told him that I wouldn’t expect anything less. What I never told him was that if his kids didn’t come first for him, that would have been a problem.
    I am so proud of my man, and of you, for doing the right thing by your kids. There’s no shame in cuddling your baby while brushing your little girl’s hair and making it look just right. Just because you’re the dad, this does not make you any less of a man. If anything, it makes you more so.

  134. Elizabeth says:

    When I saw this photo for the first time, I thought “That is a Dad!” I didn’t see a “black man, uncle tom, deadbeat” in a generic photo-op! THIS photo and the events surrounding it is amazingly positive and such a GREAT influence! Anytbody of noble character wouldn’t see color and become critical of this beautfiul example to those little ones in the photo for years to come, to the Mother and to real deadbeat dads who need to get a clue! A man, dad and husband knows masculinity is also in being a great Father! Thank you for posting, it makes me feel that there is hope out there for great parenting!

  135. Love this picture. I hadn’t read anything yet and I loved this pic. These kids have a great roll model and protector.

  136. I had to look at this picture over and over while I read the caption to figure out what the controversy was about. Was there some abuse going on? No. Are the kids upset or being difficult? No. Then I read the article and was amazed at the ignorance of some people. It’s stuff like this that takes me out of my nice, comfortable world to remind me that there are still people out there who do not understand that we are all equals; no matter what gender, race or class. Kids need their hair done, dishes need to be done, garbage needs to be taken out, does it really matter who does it??? This is a normal everyday picture with a Dad taking care of his kids and I daresay proud to show his wife he could do it all 🙂

  137. Jesslyn Cooper says:

    You are using the word racist wrong but I am not surprised.
    The comments were INDEED bigoted and prejudiced but I doubt the comments
    are getting you killed by police, keeping you from getting hired or living in a certain area.

    • Last time I checked “Racist” or “Racism” were not solely defined by whether someone was “killed by the police, keeping you from getting hired or living in a certain area.” While the definition does work for the scenarios you have listed, they are equally suited for the comments that were received by Doyin. Below I have pasted two of the comments that are in fact racist due to their nature in suggesting he is lesser of a man for marrying outside of his race.

      – “I’m sorry, but I can’t support a brotha who didn’t marry a black woman.”
      – “Your MOM is black and you dishonored her by marrying outside of your race? You probably can’t handle a strong black woman.”

      rac·ism noun \ˈrā-ˌsi-zəm also -ˌshi-\
      : poor treatment of or violence against people because of their race
      : the belief that some races of people are better than others


      Why is it exactly that you aren’t surprised he used the world “incorrectly”? I am truly curious to hear your response.

    • “Racism is generally defined as actions, practices or beliefs, or social or political systems that are based in views that see the human species to be divided into races with shared traits, abilities, or qualities, such as personality, intellect, morality, or other cultural behavioral characteristics, and especially the belief that races can be ranked as inherently superior or inferior to others, or that members of different races should be treated differently.”

    • You are thinking of the word discrimination- his assertion that these comments are racist is legitimate.

    • Wait.. what? So it’s only “racist” if you’re being killed by the police? I don’t think you understand how racism works.

    • I believe you’re thinking of the word “discrimination”.

  138. Amen! My husband is a traditional man in many respects (and a bit macho) and I was really worried before our son was born. I really worried for nothing. He’s a great father and caretaker for both his son and me but he’d never admit it to the world as you did 🙂 for fear of diminishing his macho persona. Thank you for having the courage!

  139. Elizabeth says:

    I loved this! We need a lot more awesome dad’s out there. My husband is one of them. I am a stay at home home, and sometimes he wishes we can switch places. He loves being a dad to his 9 almoat 10 month daughter. She is a great love of both our hearts. You said it so well. Yay to the awesome dad’s. The negative comments are the jealous or dead beats.

    Ps. My birthday is the same as MLKJ. I always thought it was awesome in my books. He was a pretty awesome guy!

    Take care of those beautiful kids that.

  140. Chris Knutson says:

    I wish I had had a daddy like you. Your daughters are blessed.having a good relationship with a strong, caring father. It will make all the difference in the world to them.

  141. I’m STILL trying to find something even remotely offensive in the photo!

  142. Judging by the photo, I’m about 25 years older than you and white enough to hurt your eyes in bright sunlight. My kids are grown and married, but I look at your photo and fondly remember when my kids were the age of yours. Enjoy it. Next thing you know, they’ll be teenagers (!).

    Don’t worry about the haters and the ignorant. Your wife and kids are lucky to have you.

  143. Thank you for “regulating” lol but mostly for being a dad and enjoying it! We need more fathers like us out there!

  144. Thank you. The picture is adorable, and I love your dream, and share it. I’m glad a friend posted it,a dn led me to your blog.

    I’m sorry. I’m sorry you got sexist and racist grief over something so purely good.

    One small thing: I’d encourage you, if you haven’t done this ad nauseum already, to give some thought to the half- half- language you use about your wife and daughters identities. Obviously, I’m no one to tell you how you should slice up your identity, but here’s where I’m coming from: I’ve lived in Japan, and always found the hambunjin rhetoric to really indicate that someone was less than fully Japanese in a reductive kind of way, rather than being fully Japanese and fully something else, in an additive kind of way. It made it seem that they were less, instead of more. I am raising kids with multiple cultural identities, and we really try to think of them as fully American and fully French, rather than half French and half American. Your girls will be balancing three cultural identities, and it would be so enriching for them to feel good in their skins about all three, rather than feeling lacking in all three.

    I hope you don’t. Feel like this stranger on the Internet has overstepped, as you really seem to be a guy with his head screwed on straight. I just feel like words matter, and I’ve put a lot of effort into thinking through this particular word game, so thought I’d share what I’ve come around.

    Peace to you and your family.

  145. Congrats on tackling a little girls hair! I have long hair myself and often get overwhelmed with my little ones hair! My hubby also wears our babies and when we are out I’m not gonna lie, we often get funny looks from people. We don’t care. Those same people don’t understand why I choose to teach my 2 year old to hold my hand and stay close instead of tethering her like a dog to my side. It’s the easiest, fastest and least cumbersome way to get around a busy zoo or fair with two under 3 years and they can see everything rather than being stuck in a low stroller and feeling segregated from you. Love your vision for fathers! Great job!

  146. Sweet picture and great dad/husband. Unfathomable there would be even one negative comment and disgusted by racial remarks. I would suspect the haters do not have close relationships with their children. Great going and good write up!

  147. You are not alone. I know a lot of men who are passionate Dad’s! My hubs can do it all, bathe baby, change baby’s clothes, diapers or both, put baby to sleep, entertain baby. He works full time but is a super hands on Dad as soon as he gets home. It’s clear he enjoys his time with baby, as it is clear that you enjoy your time with yours. Daddy’s like you make the world a better place.

  148. How sad people are still focusing on gender and/or colour. We are all the same, your environment creates who you are. Glad to know your mom raised a great man. You should both be proud. Your mom to have a son so wise and you to have a mom so wise.

  149. I can’t believe this pic would bring out haters. It made me smile. Go Dad!

  150. I’m Jewish, which means I know what Sh*t looks like just for being who I am. We have a Jewish saying which is kol ha kavod – it means “all power to your elbow.” Be proud of who you are. Be proud of what you’ve done. The hatemongers’ problem is themselves and you don’t need to own their problems. Lovely picture. Hope your kids appreciate what a great dad they have one day. all the best for their growing up.

  151. that’s actually amazing how many people say such terrible things on the internet, i bet if they were face to face with you they wouldn’t be saying these things; but since they’re nice and safe sitting at home behind the computer they have no problem putting others down. you look like an awesome dad! keep up the good work!!

  152. Well, I’m kind of sad at this post, because when I saw the title I thought “Oh, some people got a little grouchy about ‘traditional’ gender roles.” I had no idea how bad it could get. On the other hand, I’m happy that I apparently fit into your dream.

    I still have to applaud your passion for parenting; not as someone who thinks a male nurturer is a big deal in and of itself, but as the daughter of a man who doesn’t even love her enough not to be an ass. Kudos. Your kids are going to be just fine.

    Now, to the next shiny thing in my newsfeed.

  153. It’s saddening people had negative reactions to this photo. When I looked I only saw one thing: love.

  154. Spence clark says:

    (Continued) …Anything is possible once you put your mind to it. I want my children to get a college education, because even though i was raised by my mother alone, and she went to college, and tried out for the police force, she never spoke to me about the importance of college. But i saw the determination in her as she took on these tasks, and as i grew older, I realized that working in restaurants all my life was not for me. Selling drugs was not for me, but it was meant for me to be a leader in my community, an owner of my own business, and a father to my children, no matter what. My sons are 15, 10 & 3 1/2. I will never put anything above raising my children. Anything that needs to be done, needs to be taken care of mainly when they are away in school. They are my priority, and i plan everything around them. I just wish I had more of a support team in my corner so i could do everything I need to do for them. Times are hard, and being broke is no joke. During graduation this December, i was unable to buy my class ring for the biggest accomplishment in my life. I had no money to buy my kids gifts for christmas, and to pay my utility bills to make it into the new year, I had to pawn my camera for 1/3 of the price i paid for it. Talk about swallowing your pride for the greater good. That camera was my only means to make any kind if income until i can find a regular job. The main thing is that my kids make it through school with no stressors that I had to endure, keep a stable roof over their heads with food in the fridge, and they continue to be happy. I believe it is our job as parents to be our children’s role models, not the Rappers, Drug Dealers, and Athletes.

  155. Deb - Wilmington NC says:

    You made me smile this morning, I thank you for that. I agree that any hate responses you get are reflections on the writers and that the role of fathers is evolving faster than some. But the evolution is a good thing. Not everyone wore bell bottom jeans at first. 😉 I find your writing skills to be outstanding and I do not know what your profession is, but this should be considered as a career or pastime shared. There will come a day where pictures like yours are so commonplace they won’t be given a second thought. Until then, keep your message going. It is important. And while important things happen spontaneously, they do inspire. Hug your girls; I am very glad for them. Hug your wife, she is a fortunate woman, thank your mother for she got it right and raised a fine man and lastly except the praise and accolades you may have made the difference in some other child’s life making is desirable and acceptable for their dad to man up and actually partner in raising the children they have created.

  156. You made me smile this morning, I thank you for that. I agree that any hate responses you get are reflections on the writers and that the role of fathers is evolving faster than some. But the evolution is a good thing. Not everyone wore bell bottom jeans at first. 😉 I find your writing skills to be outstanding and I do not know what your profession is, but this should be considered as a career or pastime shared. There will come a day where pictures like yours are so commonplace they wont be given a second thought. Until then keep your message going. It is important. And while important things happen spontaneously, they do inspire. Hug your girls, I am very glad for them. Hug your wife, she is a fortunate woman, thank your mother for she got it right and raised a fine man and lastly except the praise and accolades as you may have made the difference in some other child’s life making is desirable and acceptable for their dad to man up and actually partner in raising the children they have created.

  157. I was going to apologize on behalf of the Caucasians who abused you, but based on what you have already written, I trust you understand those few comments do not represent the views of us all. I am marrying a Filo-Australian in three months and know that he will be an excellent father in the future years as he already proves to be a wonderful uncle to his sister’s children and a few close friends’ kids as well. Thanks for being a wonderful example of what a dad should be. Your little girl probably already adores you; if not, I’m sure it won’t take long as my daddy won my heart at a very young age. 🙂 God bless you.

  158. NATHING

    • OMG, I want to cry on your behalf, It makes me sad to see such awful things said about you and your family. I think your children are beautiful. I agree with the sentiment that people need to stop expecting fathers to be failures and start expecting them to do their share around the house and with their kids, only then will we get the fathers that our children deserve. But I have to admit, I was floored to see the racial comments, I had no idea that people were still like that. I guess I am sheltered. It is so sad. I hope that one day people will not see the color of your skin, just the beauty of the love your family shares.

  159. i think the photo is awesome – you obviously have a deft and delicate hand, given your older daughter isn’t making a fuss at getting her hair done. she seems to be of an age where “making a fuss at getting hair done” is all the rage.

    thumbs up all the way.

  160. wow…looked like nbd to me until I saw all the hateful comments. might have expected some ignorance, but this many years after ‘Mr. Mom’, don’t expect such vitriol about a dad taking care of kids, nor the racist tinge. But this is the internet and I guess people think they can be as ugly as they care to be here. smh.

  161. Dreamin’ right along with you, sir! A beautiful world it would be if this were a more common scene (and if people with ugly thoughts about others would keep them to themselves – or better yet, learn to embrace joy and love people).

  162. I read and comment on a lot of sites. One thing I notice is that there are a lot of rude idiots who have nothing of value to say, yet they spew their reckless hateful comments showing their complete lack of civility. If they had a connection between two or more brain cells, then something productive might flow out. At least you are secure and have a good sense of humor, which I do appreciate. Not everybody has humor. It is a gift, so keep passing it out! Enjoy your babies, as they are only small for a while.

  163. Amen! Thank you for this! Yes this is the first time I’ve seen your blog. I saw it on a facebook post and I clicked on it because I actually couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the picture and was so confused!! I love what you’re saying and more importantly what you’re DOING every day for your wife and children. I’m married to an amazing father/husband who views fatherhood and his role in our family the same way you do. He can’t get enough of “daddying” and he’s in there doing the work as much as he can. He like, you, often gets the crazy, parade-route praise about how amazing he is. The praise is usually made as a comment on the side to me, mostly from other woman. For about 5-6 years now instead of saying “Oh yes aren’t I and the kids so lucky to have such a wonderful father – he’s just amazing!” I now respond, “Yes, you’re right, he is an amazing, wonderful father. However, isn’t he just doing what he’s suppose to be doing? And isn’t it a shame more fathers aren’t doing the same?!” It usually quiets them for some time (or shuts down the conversation completely) but most often they come around and agree on some level. Now, I don’t take him for granted and appreciate all he does, but because I have him it makes me so very very sad he’s so few and far between (and from my experience regardless of race, class, or culture).

    Keep on Daddying, ignoring the haters, and speaking the truth!!!! Here’s hoping, on behalf of all of us parents and kids, your dreams come true…

  164. Alisha Venters says:

    Saw you on FB, thought the picture was touching, reminded me of my own dad, who is awesome.

    BTW, your daughters are gorgeous, and you sound delighted with them. Many congratulations.

  165. Thank you, sir for setting such a great example and I too hope that this picture is, one day, not so surprising to people. May you have many more healthy children who can learn by your example and spread your legacy.

  166. Lovely Photo! As others have mentioned, I loved the photo for it’s contrast – not much will melt hearts faster than a dad with his kids. I am sad for the hateful words you have received, I can’t fathom how some of those people think. I hail you for speaking out on your love of fatherhood. Heaven knows our world needs more great examples like yours. Well wishes to you and your family.

  167. Love your pic and your daddying. Sorry people are assholes. Your kids will be proud and happy and well adjusted and that’s really all that matters. Thanks for setting an awesome example.

  168. Sujey Franco says:

    Coming from a daughter and a sister, I always appreciated my father taking the time and committing to the role he plays in my sisters’ life and mine. It has made the three of us know what kind of man we need to look for and that we deserve nothing less than what we deserve. It has also held the closest bond between a man and a wife that I have ever seen (not just saying because they’re my parents, but because it’s true). To those being spiteful because you care about your daughters, their kids will most likely end up “selling drugs or bootlegging rap CDs”. This was your first blog that I have read and I love it!

  169. Way to go superstar Dad! I hope you won’t ever let the hateful people in the world get you down. The world needs more dads like you, and I’m lucky that I married one!

  170. ahah, at the end of the rant I thought “you call this angry? This man right there went ahead in one blog and made it fully educational to the point he makes being “angry” sound educated” xD ahaah.

    but yeah good blog.

  171. Dear Brother;

    First, I am a woman who looked at that picture and thought there is a smart multitasker. Not a man doing something NEW….

    All I have to say is AMEN.

  172. wife with helpful husband says:

    rock on daddying — it’s wonderful! my husband took time to baby bond with the boy adores his daddy. my husband and some of the other dads want to volunteer at the kids’ [elementary] school. some of the really “helpful moms” and teachers are not accustomed to fathers helping at school and shun them away. i’m sharing this cuz i hope u keep this up and don’t let anyone discourage you, no matter what. big high 5!

  173. What a nice picture–I saw it on Facebook and the headline grabbed me, so I had to check it out. I’m so surprised to read about the reactions. Here in Philadelphia, I’m always reading about efforts to get black dads (especially really young guys) to take more responsibility for their kids and in their families. There are plenty of white deadbeats too, of course, but this has been a particular focus. And on the racial mix–what’s with that? In Philadelphia, people of color come in all sorts of shades. I can see the kids are a little lighter than you, but maybe you spend a lot of time in the sun. Or whatever. Who knows. Who cares? Plenty of people wish they had a dad like that–me included. Or even a mom, for that matter.

    Good for you! Whatever anger people have about this is on them–it’s their issue. Maybe they’re jealous. What’s behind it? Why get upset about a caring dad? That’s what I wonder. In time, though, with men like you not afraid to make an example of yourself, pictures like this will just be cute pictures and that’s that. Best of luck in everything you do.

  174. Love this picture! great post. super cute! Will have to show my husband!

  175. That little girl will grow up to demand the same love and respect of her husband to pass on to her kids. A great father is a legacy!

  176. That little girl will grow up to demand the same love and respect in her husband to pass on to her kids. A great father is a legacy!

  177. You’re a remarkable writer!
    Ha! Loved the rant 🙂

  178. Rob Miller says:

    As a stay at home dad; thank you.

  179. Amen to you and all you do for you children….Anyone else that would even consider raining on your parade for being a FATHER ( and a good one at that) needs to be punched in the throat….maybe then it will allow them to swallow the pride their hiding to become the father they should be!!

  180. I can’t believe that ANYONE would say anything wrong about this photo! When I saw it I immediately thought, “Awe, what a cute photo. What a good dad taking care of his kids.” Once I read the title of this post I starred at it for a minute trying to find something wrong with it. Was there a curling iron next to the baby or maybe a booger hanging out of one of the children’s noses? Nope, nothing. After I gave up my search to find out what was wrong with the photo and read your post and I couldn’t BELIEVE some of the horrible things people said. I sincerely hope there are more men out there who are willing to be good dads and fathers whatever the color(s) of their skin. I applaud you for being a good example to fathers everywhere.

  181. I looked at that picture for a minute trying to find something wrong with it … a CGI ghost in a corner, or a outline of a spooky face in the shadows … only when I could find nothing out of the ordinary did I read further ha ha. I am quite surprised that anyone would make a big deal out of such a thing but I agree fully that it would be nice for people to not look so far into such things and see them for what they are … a great family moment of challange and humor captured in an otherwise hectic life. Good on you for being a great father and helping out the lady of the house with the little ladies when things get busy. You are a good human … and that is that :

  182. These haters have been brainwashed by a media that INTENTIONALLY portrays black men as absentee fathers. The media exists to shape and mold the culture to corporation-positive and internationalist ends. They will do anything they can to make whites hate blacks, and even make blacks hate themselves. The media is who invents and propagates the stereotypes that people believe, and when they are propagated long enough, people actually start to conform to.

  183. BigDaddyDK says:

    Dude, in a society where absentee fathers are a huge problem, you’re a stand-up guy. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate what you do for your children — legitimate, illegitimate, adopted, whatever — is the one with the problem. You’re doing the right thing and it’s awesome. You’re not just being a father. You’re being a daddy. I LOVE spending time with my little boy. I play with him, give him his baths, change diapers, and do the evening bedtime routine, and love it. My wife can stay at home with him during the day, so she takes on a huge part of the caretaker role, but I would never relinquish the things I do with my children. Number 2 is due in a couple of weeks, and I can envision doing the exact same thing then. I will do so proudly and I will at some point remember that I saw it here and raise a glass to you as men who love being daddies.

  184. Tuesday Wang says:

    What’s wrong with this picture? I thought it was so cute and heartwarming.
    Gah ignore the haters. They’re miserable so they try to make others as miserable as themselves.

  185. I commend you for taking care of your kids. More dads should set the example you are setting and your babies are beautiful.

  186. Samaire Provost says:

    Sir, your children are beautiful, you are very obviously a great daddy, and in the picture are multitasking beautifully. Ignore all the haters, and hold your head up high knowing they are clinically insane.

  187. Some of what came out in those negative comments are influenced by a unique set of historical, social, and economic forces that have complicated male-female relations in the African-American community and have produced a whole lot of conflict observed by many people in and outside of the community, who have jumped to quick conclusions based on negative emotions (anger, fear, embarrassment, self-hatred, etc.) and not any decent scholarship, even though it exists. I’m no expert, sociologists and historians of African-American history are much better positioned to comment. See https://titles.cognella.com/downloadable/download/sample/sample_id/3426/ for a list of link good quality literature on this issue.

  188. born blessed says:

    I can definitely relate to what you are doing…I’m a black man who raised 4 kids by myself after the death of my wife from cancer. Don’t pay attention to the racist haters and ignorant knuckle-dragging assholes who can’t see or say anything positive in the point you are trying to make…God Bless you brotha for being a wonderful role model for many young people…particularly young black men who in this day and age don’t understand that the responsibility for nuturing and raising a human being is most important in the development of our children and society.

  189. i absolutely love this post. my husband was a SAHD to our son and then to our other son who was born this year. he watched them while i was at work, earning the main income. i am so grateful an appreciative of him for being an awesome husband and father of our two boys. he is definitely a great role model for them and made going back to work much easier. thank you for sharing.

  190. Gotta say, I hadn’t heard of you, or your blog, until one of my friends shared a link to this on FB. And when I saw the photo, all I thought at first was “What a great picture of a happy family”, and had no idea what the article was about. I feel a little sick that anybody would object for any reason to this, and a little disgusted that people find it so odd and unusual. It’s a guy taking care of his kids- That’s it! Why can’t people just see that and say “Aww, what a nice moment between dad & kids?”

  191. You’re amazing, and so are all the other people out there who live their lives like you do. Keep doing what you’re doing. Much much love from my family to yours.

  192. Average white guy says:

    Mr. Richards, you are awesome! I have two grown daughters and I loved taking care of them when they were younger. It used to grate on my nerves, however, when someone would asked if I was babysitting. How can we babysit our own children? Do we ask women that? One time in Kroger we were were messing around and the cashier put her hands on her hips and asked, “Does Mommy know you are out?”

    Keep being a good example of involved fathering. I’m a therapist and the world needs many more functional fathers, be that black, white, brown, yellow, blue, green, etc.

    My hat is off to you!

  193. Toxic Platypus says:

    I loved “Somewhere there’s a single dad successfully getting his three sons ready for school.” Mostly because we had a family friend who fit that description, right down to the number and gender of his children. And that guy’s kids adored him!

    You’re a great dad. Just keep on being the shit, eventually the majority will realize you’re the shit! My husband is an awesome dad too, I’d hate to be one of the women who bred with one of those idiot boys (definitely not men).

  194. Good for you. My wife has a hard time believing I can take care of my two daughters sometimes (2.75 and 5 months) Just took over taking them both to daycare and picking them up after working full time today. I know I don’t do 50/50 but I try to get as close as possible.

    I think your comments are all appropriate so I will add that I never see color of skin unless someone else makes an issue. We are all human beings.

  195. you rock! And so does my husband. He is a kick ass daddy too!

  196. first off, good for you for knowing how to brush long hair, or at least having the patience to learn how, secondly, I wished I had thought of the baby carrier for infant while i was trying to do something with my son, AND..I’m glad you’re not taking any lip from folks. people are just stupid sometimes.. good for you!!

  197. I, too, wish for a day when nothing in that photo is remarkable. Well, except for the cuteness factor, cause that’s always gonna be remarkable. They’re too cute for words.
    Thank you for sharing and leading as a strong example. Maybe someday soon, thanks to men like you, this will be normal. (psst: pass the word – there is nothing sexier than a man caring for his kids and pulling his weight in the home)

    • CanadianMom says:

      A friend shared this picture on her Facebook page, and my first thought was, hey, cute, HEY, that’s an Ergo dad’s wearing! I honestly thought she was just sharing cute pics of kids again, as usual. Until I clicked on the link that brought me here and heard the horrible things people were saying. People need to drop their insecurity and properly educate themselves, fear and ignorance are the biggest forces behind the hate and anger. Like Marsha said, can’t wait for the day when others find nothing remarkable about this photo except a dad and his cute kids.

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  199. That is at REAL FATHER….I support you my friend.

  200. Hey Man
    Todos estos que hacen comentarios racistas y estupidos sobre lo que la foto muestra son todos esos que se hacen llamar padre por que solo dejaron embarazada a sus mujeres!!!! esos son esos que no saben disfrutar la verdadero regalo de ser PADRES. Muy buena tu foto y yo tambien soy un padre que amo a mis hijos y hago lo mismo que vos para brindarles mi amor cada dia.
    Que bueno encontrar gente que entiende la palabra “PADRE”

  201. You keep on being a good dad and an excellent example.

    P.S. Your kids really are super-cute.

  202. Rock on!

  203. Thank you for being a beautiful example of fatherhood.

  204. Paula Helm Murray says:

    I had a supportive father who loved his daughters and would do anything in his ability for us (cooking was NOT one of these) in the “Dark Ages”. He was born in the 20s, men of his age weren’t supposed to be nurturing. Mom was a stay-at-home mom but dad was an airline pilot so he was home regularly during the day. Growing up I thought it sad that other kids didn’t see their dad’s that much.

    You rock, you are making a difference in their lives and should just continue to rock on!

  205. Susan Takeda says:

    I have never read your blog before; my daughter sent me the link. I think you did an eloquent job of explaining yourself to the reading public. I am married to a half white/half Japanese man. All I can say is watch out for your daughters to reach the teenage years. They are going to be drop dead gorgeous with their mixed race and as a dad, it may be hard. Good Luck!

  206. Every (equally virtuous) woman should be so lucky as to have a husband like you, and every child should be so lucky as to have a father like you. I’m kind of jealous; men like you are far too few, Mr. Richards. Thank you for setting such a positive example.

  207. With you there, man. Made me tear up. My lil boy comes first over anything I do, and that includes food for me, entertainment, even bathroom breaks. Im a single dad sharing custody, my prob is that my ex is resentful of the time I spend with him. I go out of my way to work 3rd shift so I can have my boy 7-4 while she is at work. This usually leaves me with an average of 5 hours sleep per day. so when you say your wives/girlfriends respect that… in my experience ex’s don’t. Kinda stinks. But oh well, my lil one and I are best friends.

  208. I’m a stay at home mom of 2 girls. I underwent a double mastectomy with full reconstruction when my daughters were 3 yrs, and 9 months old. My husband took a month off work to care for all of us. There were many surgeries that followed and he cared for all 3 of us during that time. He’s a man’s man, car guy, covered in tattoos, and surrounded by men that could never do the same. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Men that care for their families and love the women in their lives are sexier than anything you could imagine. Hats off to you big papa!! Rock that baby carrier!!

  209. Keep up the good dad work and disregard the ignorants, if there is something I have learned from people is no matter if you do things wrong or right, there is always a stupid comment for everything you do.

  210. Dad to five says:

    Don’t give the haters one millisecond of your time or emotional energy. They’re not worth it. Keep showing people that Dads are loving and caring parents too!! With five on my own I know how daunting the task is as a Dad, Husband, and Provider but God willing I put the kids and wife before everything else and it all seems to work 🙂 You Rock!

  211. Stormy Sunshine says:

    Kudos to you for just being a dad who loves his children and who remembers that love is a verb. For those who criticize you for your choices, they’ll be alright. Your children are beautiful and will continue to be so as long as you teach them morals and values. Those are the opinions that matter. Not the opinions of the small minded people out there. I’m proud to see that someone believes that being a mom or dad is an important job. It really does take both.

  212. The black community needs more positive role models like Doyin, and I know that there are many out there that are just like him….and we need to see more and hear more of it. We don’t need idiots like Rev Al and Jesse filling up the airwaves, blaming whites for their ills. The group called Color of Change sent out an email today saying that 1 out of every 3 balck man will spend time in prison during their lifetime. The black community needs to build itself up from within the family structure, without that they will always be disadvantaged. Doyin, a stay at home dad myself I applaud you.

  213. My Dad braided my hair a few times back in the day, the only problem was that the braids were so tight stayed like that all day without coming loose. i lived with it and didn’t realize that other Dads did do that kind of thing till now. There have always been good Dads. You are another one Good for your children.

  214. I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but since most dads I know don’t take a real part on the raising of their children, I feel I have to praise those that do a good job. Congratulations, that is great for both your children and you. Haters will hate, don’t let them make you doubt yourself for a second. That also goes for the other dads out there who are doing their jobs, who take interest on their child and who want to be involved. Keep the good work, you guys!!
    And I do share your dream!

  215. Sean Herron says:


    I have a new Son with all the questions and restructuring He involves – the biggest thing still seems to be me letting Mom earn the bacon – then I go get it and cook it too – I love it – she would burn it – but that aside…

    I am a very White guy – Danish and German – the joke – depressed and angry at the same time – I cannot imagine the hurt you feel from your ‘own people’ from those insane and shallow race jabs – FUCK ’em – seriously – they are the evil at the bottom of any good barrel…

    Not sure that this will get to you directly – if so – you have my Email…

    You inspire – I am looking and HOPING to stay home with my Son – until preschool – but suffer some from the bring home the bacon shit – my industry imploded – massive layoffs to keep the corporates in steak – but His Mom is cool with me staying home because She sees it as a better environment for ‘A’ than daycare with strangers…

    Thanks Man – and again – FUCK ’em…

    Sean Herron – sherron0330@gmail.com

  216. your picture and post made my day. i’m not a parent. i’m barely out of childhood i guess. it’s easy to hear in the tone of your writing a passionate, incredible human, and dad…your girls are so lucky :D. thanks for the reminder that families are beautiful because of the love they share. <3.

  217. Odetta Canady says:

    Mr. Doyin Richards continue to stand your ground. You are doing a fantastic job as a Father and a Husband. Your daughters will have the fondest memories of you caring for them. Haters grow up and step outside your narrow minded box!!

  218. Miss Peach says:

    You are the magic of MLK ‘s dreams…make no mistake about that! God bless you….

  219. JJ (I'm a woman) says:

    #TeamGrownAssMen Thank you, that cracked me up and it’s on the mark. Nice. Very nice retort overall and screw those people who are being asshats. You have a lovely family and I think it’s awesome what you did to bond. Keep up the awesome father work. I think those other guys probably forget they don’t have to be perfect but they do have to try.

  220. avery piercy says:

    I simply cannot wait to be a father, its is my life’s goal to be a good dad and raise my kids with everything I missed out on like a loving father and a good sense of security from a male figure. I think about it almost every day. It makes me sick to think what they will experience from mankind when they are of age. All of the jealousy and hate that fuels the bad in this world is enough to take a simple picture of love for one’s own blood and soul and turn it into hate and a short distraction from all the things those people cant escape in their own life. I, for one, pray I get to share many pictures and stories with my children such as this one. I pray for the day I get to take a picture like this one with my own kids and definitely with my wife’s beautiful smile next to me as well! way to go man, good luck to you and your family!

  221. Pierre Fassié says:

    Your children are lucky to have you for their Dad.
    Your wife is lucky to have you as a lifetime companion.
    We are lucky that you should have posted your photo and that you should live in our times.

    It is very sad that there still are people who do not understand nor accept that neither races, nor nationalities, nor boundaries exist for love. As to write bad stuff about your little ones, these people would also spit on flowers –pathetic.

    The sunny part is that you are who you are, that your family be as it is, all of which gives joy and hope to thousands.

    Many thanks and best wishes to you and your loved ones.

  222. I am single. I just want to thank Doyin Richards for teaching me how to be a good example of being a “real” father. God bless you Sir! And definitely in the future, I will be a good father to my children and will do the same thing that you did. Not only that, I will show to my children and even to the world how grateful I am to be a father. It will be the best blessing I will ever receive. ^_^

  223. STACEY HARRIS says:

    You are awesome and are making memories for your children that will last a lifetime. I still remember my dad blow drying and brushing my hair for me when I was a little girl. When I was older he coached me and trained me to be a fantastic child athlete, taught me right from wrong, and was my biggest advocate and support throughout my adult life. When I want good solid advice I go to my dad. I not only give him credit, but I give my mom credit, too. She made sure my dad was a part of my life and my sister’s life. She insisted he had time with us and could be there for us. She wouldn’t have had it any other way. They both are amazing and I’m humbled and in awe of how great they were and are every year and more of my adult life. Thank you for being a wonderful father!!!!

  224. Doyin,
    You’re doing a great job. My brother and I were raised by my dad in the 80’s, a single parent, when it was unheard of for a dad to “get the kids in a divorce”. He was the best dad. Strong, compassionate, and he did girly stuff with me without batting an eye.
    Your kids will remember your time together and it will make them even better people and parents when the time comes.
    Thank you for being a great dad!

  225. Eynne Ray says:

    I looked and looked at this picture before I read it and I just didn’t get it. I thought, is the baby holding a curling iron? Is the dad somehow abusing these kids that I’m just not seeing? I can’t believe what it was when I read it! WTH! That would never even have occurred to me what those people were posting! What is wrong with people??!!! Why would you even take the time to post that kind of nonsense? I’m really sorry that happened to you!

  226. I don’t know if I’m naive but I just don’t understand the furor this photo caused. I know from first hand experience that we live in a world where people still see hands-on dads as somewhat unique but this went to a completely different level.

    Good on him I say, doing what good dads do!

  227. YOU rock! Plain and simple.

  228. Sarah Smith says:

    You are wonderful!

  229. First time reader here, and I LOVE THIS POST!!! You are fabulous and your beautiful ladies are lucky to have you. I’m excited to follow your future endeavors. Keep doing what you do, Daddy! 🙂

  230. HappyDaughter says:

    I cant believe people. All I see is a father taking care of his two daughters. That’s all it. The moment I saw this picture, I went “Awww that is just too cute. <3 " But nooooooooo, a black man cant possibly be a good father to his children. He cant possibly know who his real children are since all he does is knock up random women and run or get sent to jail. A black man aint a real black man if he's with a woman that isnt black. A man cant be taking over household roles that are meant for women! Blah blah blah. People WAKE UP and LOOK OUTSIDE. Its 2013. There are interracial relationships everywhere. I myself am a black woman with a white man. Go ahead and get mad at me for stupid reasons like "oh you're disgracing your race by being with a white man!!!" Does it look like Im going to care?

    This saddens me when someone cant even post a family picture without someone trying to find something small and insignificant to get mad at. Get your mind away from the days of "whites only, blacks only" and join the 21st century where people arent afraid to be with someone not of their race. Love is colorblind. And any guy can make a baby, but it takes a real man to actually father their children. This is a real man and good father. Major props to him!

  231. My dad was a single father of 3 girls under the age of 5 and that was 20+ years ago. When he took all three of us to the grocery store by himself, people gave him dirty looks and looks of confusion. My dad did it all on his own because our mom was not around early on. In the 80’s, it was not common for the mother to not have custody of her children. My dad never received any awards or recognition for taking care of my sisters and me; he just did what any parent would do. Of course, my sisters and I have done our best to show dad our appreciation over the years. Not to brag or anything, but I think he did a great job raising us. My sisters and I are doing [better than] just fine.

    • I would love to hug your dad. Please give him a hug as I’m unable to hug my dad. I’m a daddy’s girl and I applaud fathers who love being fathers.

  232. Dude, you’re doing a little girl’s hair. That has to be learned, and it’s not like you spent years hanging out with your girlfriends doing each other’s hair. I think that any man who can do a decent job at doing a little girl’s hair deserves some props. I haven’t seen an “after” photo, but I trust you that she looked great. 🙂

  233. I commend you for stepping up and being so involved in your daughters lives, they are fortunate to have an involved father. Don’t let the morons making negative comments get you down; they’re losers and you’re not 🙂

  234. What’s the big deal?
    Looks to me like a loving father being a good dad.
    My youngest daughter had very thick hair which was always getting tangled in knots. My Ex didn’t have the patience to brush gently but I did so I always brushed her hair and got out the knots without her complaining.

  235. Don’t let a few negative people be the voice for the majority of people. Beautiful pic, beautiful father doing exactly what he should be doing…being a father! End of story shake those haters off like water on a ducks behind. Giving them publicity is only encouraging them to keep on! Embrace the positive!

  236. Favorite 2 lines: “But don’t worry. I’ll still be here whenever you’re ready to step your game up and join #TeamGrownAssMan.”

    You are a badass. Loving your kids is the most awesome gift you can ever give them. My own husband loves our 4 fiercely and I think he *might* make your #TeamGrownAssMan.

    Keep doing what your doing. Let the haters hate. They’re just tired from being lame.

  237. i don’t care what color you are, you are a dad and you are doing an awesome job. keep up the marvelous work and btw, your girls are beautiful and i am sure the ponytail was perfect!

  238. What a BEAUTIFUL family! I was moved to respond due to the ignorance of so many people who made negative comments. They are the problem (and would probably learn a great deal from reading your blog), not your strong, beautiful family. Unfortunately it is just as sad that so many people are moved to tell what a wonderful role model you are since it is this that is so rare. Your children will grow up much more stable and confident having you as a father (your wife is lucky as well as I’m sure many women will agree!). I can’t tell you how many little girls would love for daddy to do their hair, and, well, just spend time with them! You are an awesome dad!

  239. Clare Snell says:

    How can anyone see anything negative in that picture??? Gorgeous children!

  240. You go Dad!!! Who cares if other people are writing negative comments. At the end of the day, when the front door of your home closes, it is all about you, your wife and your kids- with help and grace from the Lord. You are an awesome Dad- I am sure your wife is awesome, too. Your children will grow up to be wonderful, smart young ladies who both know they are valued and loved- genuinely- by both of their parents. The small acts of kindness you do for your children know will pay off big in the long run!! Keep doing what you are doing. My husband and I each work two jobs and we have 3 young children. There is lots of juggling- he helps get the kids dressed for school, makes their lunches and styles my daughter’s hair. I take out the trash and get the car washed. It’s a balancing act based on love and respect for each member of the family. Take care & God bless you, your wife and your beautiful girls!!

  241. You are a great dad. My son-in-law is a stay-at-home dad. Not because he is lazy but because he got laid off and my daughter got a good job. He does great with my grandchildren. He even plays My Little Pony and Barbies with his daughter. Dads are so important in a child’s life and an involved dad can change the world. Keep up the good work!

  242. Mary Margaret Fondriest says:

    Nevermind the attention society is getting for doubting what this man can do and does. This man took this picture because *his wife* doubted what he can do and does. Perhaps thats the larger problem that no one wants to talk about.

  243. I loved your post, PLUS your picture reminded me of a picture of my dad (30 years ago), fixing lunch with me sleeping in a sort of ergo on his back…. 🙂 so no, I’m not suprised by your picture I just found it cute, but I’m surprised by the reactions you got…. keep writing !!

  244. Mary Margaret Fondriest says:

    Nevermind the attention society is getting for doubting what this man can do and does. This man took this picture because *his wife* doubted what he can do and does. Perhaps thats the larger problem.

  245. Krishna Tailor says:

    This is a fantastic post, DDW. I can’t wait to keep up with and read about your adventures. I am engaged and my fiancee and I do plan to have a couple babies of our own. She already has a 13-year old son, so this will be the first time for me entering into even step-fatherhood. I am looking forward to it because he is an awesome boy!
    Thank you for being you, just doing your thing. Like all the mamas, papas, grandparents, siblings, all the love they give always shows.

  246. Anyone who can’t see the beauty in a dad being a GREAT dad, not a half-assed dad, not a lazy dad or dead beat dad, not an absent dad or angry abusive dad, or a dad that is there but not really there for you, …. Has serious issues with their own parenting role and demands. I’m sorry but bringing home a paycheck isn’t good enough nor are weekends and every other holiday. This dad is all hands on deck. He understands that marriage is a partnership and he and his wife share the responsibility of taking care of every aspect of their life together including getting the kids ready for school and making sure the baby feels secure. The only thing that should matter here is that he is building great bonds and memories with his kids and wife at the same time making his marriage and family stronger because he is ALL IN. Haters need to stop being so JEL and get off their lazy butt.

  247. There’s nothing more attractive than a real daddy. Kudos, my friend!

  248. I LOVE this picture because in our house, it’s my husband who braids my daughters hair everyday. And it’s so funny because, when I’m out with my daughter, people always compliment her hair and I always say, ‘oh, I’ll have to tell My husband, because he braided her hair”. People are always SHOCKED. And I’m like, ‘ What, I can’t braid hair!!’ Good for you for spending time with your precious children!!

  249. Thumbs up for this man taking care of his daughters, not that many men do that these days. I know my 1st husband never helped me with our daughters. Now I have a boyfriend that helps with his own daughter including my two daughters and he will also be hands on with our daughter that we are expecting in 3mnths. So I give this man a high five for what he does.

  250. That’s a picture of a dad being a dad. I’m another who didn’t understand the controversy until I read the blog. Don’t people have anything better to worry about than a dad brushing his daughter’s hair? That’s seriously ridiculous.

    My husband stayed home with our son for the first year of his life. I can’t see Dad being in charge some or most of the time as a bad thing. I think some people look for things to be upset or offended about. This really shouldn’t be one of them.

  251. So it is ok for black people to make racist comments about black people marrying white people is it?
    Don’t know the up to date way of describing a person with very very dark skin.can you help?

  252. I’m a divorced father that has custody of two little girls. Nothing pisses me off more than people who act surprised that my kids live with me and visit their mother on her weekends. Not all fathers are inept and not all mother’s are cut out to be the June Cleaver. With that said I still need to learn how to braid hair, but my pony tail skills are second to none! To all the great dads out there keep doing what you do. Your kids will appreciate you all the much more for it when they have kids.

  253. I truly hope that people would stop making extremely derogatory remarks over a beautiful picture of a father help taking care of his children. As a child growing up my father, not my mother, did my hair. He washed, conditioned, blow dry, etc… and I had a beautiful head of hair. I found it extremely suprising when I got married that my now ex thought that doing a girls’ hair was gay? What??? My father is far from gay, not only that but he raised 16 of his children, plus grandchildren, and is a WWII vet, worked 3 or 4 jobs to make sure we were all provided for.
    Its extremely sad to hear such harsh, belligerent, angry words because the children do not look like him, or he should have married a black woman. So what ! Its his choice whom he chose to marry. As long as they love, honor, and respect each other what does it matter what race they are.
    People need to stop hating, being defensive, and overly nasty because it looks different from their norm.
    I applaud Boom because our men need to see examples of men not doing “manly” things but being Fathers to their children and what greater way is by helping with his daughter’s hair. Boom thank you so much for being a real man, a real Father, and a loving, kind, and considerate husband.

  254. My husband was a stay-at-home full-time dad for all 22 of our kids for a period of over 30 years. We had kids with all kinds of special needs, including 3 terminally ill. He too has the dream that doing what he does and did will be considered ordinary one day. Thanks for sharing

  255. To the father of those children. I don’t care if you are white ,black, red. yellow even if you where green with red dots over you body. You are human person with the same beating hart that we have, No one had the right to judge you. And I am deeply sorry that happen to you. But it show that you reacted with great class then those who need to get a &^&^% life and grow the hell up.

    “Please remember people who act like a bunch of nit wits that what goes around comes around so who are you to judge”!

    GOOD JOB DAD! God Bless you and your sweet family.

  256. Lisa La Nasa says:

    I saw the headline and photo and looked at the photo intently trying to figure out what was the problem. I looked and I looked but couldn’t see an issue. Was there a safety problem? What could people fuss about? Here was an attentive Dad taking care of his girls. It was beautiful.

    Then I read the article and comments included within it.

    I was appalled. Shocked. Saddened. It had stuck with me all day and I can’t shake the sick feeling that I got when I read those hateful words.

    You and your family are beautiful and I wish I could take the hate away.

    Wait. I can. My daughters will learn that we are all equal. We are all worthy and we love everyone like we want to be loved.

  257. Lisa Thornton says:

    It is just sad that you have to endure any hateful or negative remarks – this is an awesome photo. I also know a wonderful guy with two darling daughters – he happens to be married to my niece! 🙂 All three of his ladies have very long curly hair and I can tell you he wields a straight iron like a pro. His girls are also hockey players – as is he – and I mean serious players – they sleep, eat, and breathe hockey at their house! I find it both amusing and adorable that you will see the family hip checking on the hockey rink one day, and doing hair the next. Whatever they do, when it comes to family they work as a team. Thank you, sir, for sharing with us both your story and your pain. Keep “schooling” the public with wisdom and wit! 🙂

  258. What a great dad and beautiful picture! My wife left early for work today. So let’s see, before I left for work today I made sure that my high school daughter was up, offered to start her car (-1 out), gathered dirty clothes and ran 2 loads of laundry, took the garbage/recycle out, made the bed, let the dog out and made a list of to-do’s for my son to handle (he is in training!). Men can do things around the house. Get over it.

    • YES! ALL Dads should do the same when needed. It should be the order of the day. Dads have done, can do, and should do everything MoM does except deliver, and nurse the baby. No limits…

  259. I get it. I like it.

    I am not a man, not black, and not a parent, and I get it and like it. Not hard, people! 🙂

    (My father was and is an awesome father, too.)

  260. I know you don’t want recognition because you believe that what you are doing is just what “dads are supposed to do” but as someone who grew up with a single mother, that has not been my experience. So you deserve recognition, applause, a damn ticker tape parade, because I haven’t seen as many good examples as you in my life. Keep being the wonderful father and person that you are. I pity those that have nothing but negative things to say born out of jealousy, hate, insecurity, lack of maturity and boredom.

  261. When I was a kid, my hair was constantly badly tangled, and I always preferred it if Dad was the one to do the hour or more of brushing it out and braiding it, because he was more patient and gentle than mom. (Sorry mom.) Dad wasn’t and isn’t perfect, and he dug ditches and graves and put oil wells in the ground, so he was about as stereotypically male as you can get on the employment front, but with my parents, the person best able to did the job at hand.

  262. Cute kids, funny dad. Who could possibly hate on that?
    My pet peeve is when people talk about dads who “babysit” their kids. I don’t babysit my own damn kids, and neither does my husband. We just call it “parenting”.

  263. I love seeing a Dad who does care for his children and loves them enough to multi-task like he is. This sure beats all of those dead-beat dad’s out there who have a kid and never see them. Instead of ridiculing him, why not commend him? My hubby does hair, cooks breakfast & dinner (make the best homemade biscuits & gravy ever – even the biscuits are from scratch), he helps me with laundry and house cleaning. We are a team! I work 40 hours a week also, so why should I have to do it all. It is OUR house, OUR children, and we tackle everything together so neither of us gets stuck doing everything. Keep up the great work with your kids. You will see how much it makes a difference as they get older.

  264. I love this photo…your children are beautiful and have a loving father….”what a crime”….they should grow up and have the best start in life!! <3

  265. Dude, you keep doing what your doing its great, your an inspiration to many and never let anyone tell u different, and you babies are gorgeous!! I wish my father had been like you are with your kids.

  266. It’s not a big deal. The fact that this photo went viral is a damn shame.

  267. Really!?! I looked at the picture and thought “Darn it!!! He’s not single!! I would LOVE to marry a man like that.”

  268. Wow!

    I LOVE this blog post and simply cannot figure out how anyone could ever look at that pic and have a negative emotion. Your children benefit from you. Your love for your kids will always build a strong bond with your wife. Anyone who does not get that….well, we will just forgive them in their ignorance.

    WILL be back for more of the kind-hearted, intelligent man who loves his kids. Luckily, I have one of those at home myself!

  269. This pic makes me soo mad! And yes I hate the guy in it, his blog, and probably his kids. Why? Cause there is no way in hell I could ever look that calm giving my daughter a pony tail much less with her sister literally hanging on me. A “tight” pony tail no less! How dare you sir. My pony tails come with multiple clips to catch hanging strands of hair and are often redone by a teacher taking pity on my sweet girls. It is important to note however that this pic is the description I give my trusting wife of how I get my kids ready for school.

  270. Erland Nettum says:

    In Norway not an eyebrow would be raised by this picture. 47 weeks of maternity leave on 100 % pay (or 57 weeks on 80 %), and 12 of the weeks are reserved for the dad.

  271. I know you have 100,000 comments, but I’m going to add one more. I just think this photo is AMAZING! So precious! I’m a blond hair, blue eyed white lady married to a dreaded Indonesian man and our kids are dark, and it always pains me when people ask if they are really mine… so it does go both ways. ;( I’m so sorry for the hate comments. I don’t think any of us are immune to them. I’m also a blogger and it just makes your heart sink when you get those comments. But don’t listen to them. Those people probably have so many issues they don’t know what to do and taking it out on others is all they can think to do.. doesn’t make it right though.

    Anyway… not that you needed more to read, but wanted to add my 2 cents, cause I think this photo is amazing and so so precious. Your daughter will treasure this one day. The tenderness of a Daddy caring for his babies ought to touch anyone’s heart. God bless you!

  272. wellokaythen says:

    Of course there are haters who vent online. That should not be surprising. No matter what you post online, if you get more than 100 hits you are guaranteed to get some horrible messages. Post a photo of a cute puppy and you’ll get hate messages. I’m not sure why people still get worked up so much about the mere existence of hateful idiots on the internet.

    A lot of people looking online are shocked to see such insane rantings because they never saw what newspaper editors have seen for centuries — there has always been a lot of hateful, unhinged people out there looking for attention.

    There’s probably some sort of natural law of Twitter that says that there will always be a minimum of 5% hate speech, not matter the issue is. The real question is not “did I get any hate mail?” The real question is “did I get an unusually high percentage of hate mail?”

    • jericho dela cerna says:

      yeah there’s still bias when it comes to this kind of story.. if nigger doing this kind of strange looking for attention story the situation will be difffferrent but to a less minority they never say anything sympphatetic sory to tell. you crazy guys..

  273. I think you’re awesome. Not because you’re a competent father, but because you are helping to break down walls. I’m a stay-at-home Dad to two boys and the amount of prejudice I encountered when my wife and I originally ‘swapped roles’ was staggering. I would get all kinds of stupid questions, raised eyebrows, and snide remarks… from friends and family, people I know well. At the same time I would get plenty of doting glances, proud smiles and encouraging comments from complete strangers. You know you’re doing something right when someone you don’t know at all takes the time to stop and explain to you that they think what you’re doing is heart-warming and positive. Your photo isn’t a big deal, your blog is, still you should be proud of both.

    Oh and just between two Dads…. My wife will always be a much better cook than me, but I seriously “crush” the housework 🙂

  274. YOU ROCK!!! The haters can suck it! 🙂

  275. I look at this picture and all I see is a devoted, loving father and two happy, well cared for children. Beautiful.

  276. Daniel Harrison says:

    I am glad to see this picture on my computer. Thank God to see that. In fact, may God bless those who has gone in this problem before. I have faced the same problem up to now and I am still on it. I wish I can put some of my pictures with my children in it under my comment. I am thinking about it. Now I am looking for a good woman to be my children Mom. Although, my children have grown up but . I did the same thing I have seen in my computer . Thanks again and may almighty God bless us who have face this matter.

  277. Heather A says:

    Nothing makes me crazier than people assuming my husband does nothing when it comes to parenting because “men just don’t.” WHAT?? Mine does, in fact he does everything I do and I’m so appreciatiative and thankful for it. Thank you for keeping it real on the man front.

    Twins mama in PDX

  278. ReignbowGirl says:

    One day, when my daughter was about six years old, I noticed her hair was braided when I picked her up from daycare. As she was sleeping when I left for college in the morning, I asked her who braided it. “Roger,” she happily replied. Yes, my boyfriend, who’d stopped by my house after working a graveyard shift hoping to see me, had braided my daughter’s hair and taken her to school. Even made sure her socks matched her t-shirt. He knows how to sew, too; his dad taught him. There are good dads everywhere; sometimes, we just need to step back and let them be one.

  279. The first thing that I saw in your picture was that you love and care for your kids. Any dad that would take on his daughters hair is an awesome dad. The second thing I saw is that you are babywearing and that warms my heart 🙂 Babywearing dads rock! The last thing I was concerned about was the color of yours or your kids skin. Keep on doing what you do because it obviously works well 🙂

  280. Just saw this posted on a friend’s fb wall. I’m not a father yet, but I hope to be someday, and this is very inspirational to me. Keep up the awesome work!!!

  281. Wow. There were humans who looked at this and didn’t think “cute pic”? A friend of mine posted it on their feed, and I thought, “what’s the big deal?” so I figured I’d read the blog post. I still think, “what’s the big deal?” and couldn’t believe the crap you got in response. Wow. What a sad, sad world we live in that this image didn’t just get the “aw cute” response that it deserved. And how pathetic that men (regardless of race or age) now have to justify to the world their ability to daddy. Get over yourselves, folks, and when someone is doing a good job at the exceedingly challenging task of being a parent, either be positive about it, or just figure “what’s the big deal?”, they’re doing what any loving parent does.

  282. My father was out of work for a year when I was young and my mother worked. He stayed home with me while going back to school for a career change. He taught me to ride a bike, he did my hair at night, fed me, played with me, was a defacto brownie leader and so much more. We are so close now because of it.

    Insecure people will always try to make others feel as bad as they do. You should be proud (and excited for the lifetime relationship you are forming with your children).

  283. Doyin, I think your doing a wonderful job with behind the scenes, as I call it. I look at this way if it works with your wife and family, who cares who everyone else believes. When I hear people make rude comments like that it just makes me think that those other people did not choose wisely when making a baby with someone. Of course, people change as time moves on. Most men do not want to realize the patience they need when raising a child and that is sad. It really isn’t rocket science when parents come to an agreement. I’m currently on my second relationship and found out that my boyfriend is better at the stay home part. We are ok with in our relationship as well even though it took me a while. I have to admit I was scared that he might forget one of our 5 children and just lose track, but he it way better at then me. So I wish you and your lovely wife the best and keep doing what works for you both cause at the end of the day it will always be the two of you and no else.


  284. I commend you for speaking your mind. My dad works 60 hours a week and still coached my brothers hockey team, he came to all of my track and field competitions, all of my gymnastics events. He cooks dinner for my whole family, he does work around the house. Men like you and my father are wonderful and deserve nothing but praise and gratitude.

  285. LeftCoastMom says:

    The one and only thing I find amazing about the picture is that you are able to put your daughter’s hair in a ponytail while baby wearing your younger child. No way in hell that I could do that!

    Keep up the good daddying!

  286. Right-wing radical East Coast conservative says: Um, hey fellow dad, I just… like you. You’re just a guy. Well, not really “just” a guy–an honorable man, doing his best (and then some) in a whacked-out world. Your daughters are lucky (and, hey, as another of the outnumbered, I can relate). Keep up the good work!

  287. Wow. First let me say, real men know who they are and don’t waste time tryin to please idiots. Good for you! Secondly, I find it funny as a white man living in Iowa that I had to go back to the picture THREE TIMES to understand the hate comments. I did not notice skin color. I didnt even realize your kids were “lighter”. All I thought was “hmm… Looks like some shit I would do”. It’s amazing to me how ignorant people still are in this day and age. “Uncle Tom”? That’s code word for “this nigga think he better than me cuz he do the right thing”. Insecurity is a dangerous thing. I say again, GOOD FOR YOU for being a real husband and father. Excuse me while I go braid some hair and help with the laundry.

  288. I think this picture is AMAZING!!!! as a product of a p.o.s father who wanted nothing to do with me and left my mother because I got in the way of a musical career, this picture makes me cry! but not in a bad way, in a good way, that shows there are caring dads out there!
    I say f- the haters and keep up loving your daughters..(:

  289. I saw this on facebook, and didn’t get the fuss was supposed to be…I wouldn’t be surprised to see my husband do this, and I’m actually a bit surprised it went viral. So here’s one internet person that doesn’t see what the big deal is.

  290. SCOTT FIFIELD says:


  291. Dear God Almighty, those chubby cheeks are adorable. So cute!

    For the human race, I’m sorry they treated you this way. This is a beautiful picture, you’re family is beautiful and you’re a fantastic father. Your children will love you until the day you die because they’ll be so proud of you for standing up for your family and being a strong supportive father. You sir… are my hero.

  292. I just finally got around to reading this post and it kicked ass. I’ve only followed your blog for a bit, so I didn’t know anything about your wife’s race, just that you and her had two beautiful daughters and were doing a great job raising them. It’s a shame that so much of your hate mail is race related, from both sides of the fence.

    I’m a police officer by trade, so I see a lot of shitty things and shitty people. I get by reminding myself that really, less than 20% of the population is responsible for almost 100% of the trouble we see. Most people are good, caring human beings, we just don’t hear from them enough because they’re busy not being deadbeats. I hope you never let the small number (in the scheme of things) of fucktards discourage you from doing your thing. If we all did daddying the way you did, the next generation of people would be pretty fucking amazing!

    Best wishes from this dad to yours.

  293. Moirraine says:

    There are good people in the world and there are bad people in the world.
    I am sorry that the bad people are starting to overwhelm the good people. Period.

  294. What I see in this photo is a man taking care of his children. Why is this blogworthy, let alone newsworthy? Because of the color of his skin? Because he’s a man? What is truly unfortunate is that this man posted photos to prove to his wife that he was capable. It’s a shame he had to post photos to prove – even to his own wife – that he has the capacity to love and care for his own flesh and blood. There’s just so much…..”wrong”….about debating that this comes naturally to this man. He’s doing what I feel SHOULD come natural to a parent, and there’s debate. What has this world come to that this is hero-worthy, that he is “boss”, that he is outside of the norm? Evolution dictates this is the norm now. Our environments have changed to require BOTH parents to parent. Why is this STILL a shocker?

    • It’s not the fact that this man is caring for his children that is the focus of this particular post, but more of the racial discrimination emanating from the comments of ignorant people. And yes, it should be natural for us to care for our young, but the way society has evolved has greatly diminished that role, which is why it’s refreshing to see a picture of how it should be. So I ask that you get off of your high horse, and just say, “Thanks for being a good dad.”

    • He wasn’t “proving” anything by posting that photo, he was showing off to his wife. The difference is huge! People in good marriages can tease and be silly in a sweet way. Every good marriage relaxes into a rhythm that both accept. The less good marriages are the ones that would worry about this photo.

      Maybe the mom thought her girl would go to school with a less-than-perfect hair do, leaving behind an upset baby sister…. but she didn’t doubt Daddy’s love for his children and her trust in him. If you don’t understand this then you are one of the many men (too many of them Black) who are so unsure of themselves they can’t believe such sweet and accepting relationships do exist!

      I say all this as the mother of a tri-racial family whose daughters married (or in one case, lived with) men of races different than themselves. They are approaching 20 years (and three of those marriages are tight and the kids are gorgeous! 5 are part Asian, 4 are part Black, 2 are God-only-knows-what but are “white”. None of this was “planned” but hubby and I are thrilled with our family. The generation below us helps each other out when the chips are down, with money usually because they live from Alaska to S. California. But they are all on their feet now and dowing great! The 3rd generation gets together (at our place) as often as possible, midsummer and Christmas.

  295. You sir are an excellent dad. I loved this times a million.

  296. Charlotte says:

    I cannot believe the amount of abuse this man has received for being the kind of father every kid deserves. What an incredibly sad world. I hope that the support out weighs the criticism because the world needs more proud fathers.

  297. Well the good news from me is that I didn’t think it was a “big deal.”

    Keep doing what you’re doing.


  298. My husband has spent over a decade in the military. He has trained and trained with some of the world’s most elite fighting forces, deployed like crazy, and works like a rented mule to keep our family going. His greatest success? Getting our 4 month old to sleep in his arms, while a little hand plays with his nose.

    That’s manhood.

    I didn’t notice race, honestly. I thought you looked nice in the Ergo, and were doing a great job on her hair. It’s amazing what people will gravitate towards in an effort to find fault with another human being.

    Good job, Dad.

  299. As a wife, mother and grandmother, I applaud you! I love what you said…it is so true. Hopefully all the husbands, dads and grandads read your posting!!

  300. Thank you for being an amazing father and role model for your kids, and an amazing support for your wife. We, all around the world, who have our heads screwed on straight, applaud you. Keep doing your awesome Daddying – might be my new favorite word!

  301. When I first saw the picture, I had no idea why it was a big deal. I had to read your blog post to find out why some people think it is. I figure that’s a good sign right? I’m one person closer to your dream being realized!

  302. I love the pic, but more importantly your stance and humility about it. You are a great man and great parent! I have three kids 13yr son, 12yr daughter and 9yr daughter and take great pride in being a cook, house cleaner, homework tutor, coach, mentor, nurterer and professional. We are not moms or dads, we are parents and accountable as a team to raise children with values, work ethic and love. Great article, great blog and great way to express it. to everyone with negative comments and poking fun, you are entitled to your opinion. To those of you who see this article as constructive and positive, there are more of us than there are of the negative noise.

  303. Laura Lew says:

    I think it’s great that you are involved with your kids just like a father ought to be. My husband absolutely loves being a Papa. He CHOSE to stay home with our son for two years. He took him to the park and the library, swimming lessons and tumbling class-he taught him his alphabet and colours. And he loved every minute of it. But some people just couldn’t accept it. Family members would say things like-who’s the wife?-or- wow, how’d your wife talk you into this?-or-are you even looking for full time work?
    All things to make him feel “less than”. And I feel sorry for those men. They are so afraid of not being “manly” that they have no clue what a man actually is.

  304. Dude,
    You are awesome. Don’t let the haters get to you. It’s great to see a dad taking such sweet, gentle care of his kids. You’re doing parenting AND manhood right.

  305. Dawn LeBlanc says:

    Love the picture! Your wife and kids are lucky that you are such an involved father. Shame on all the haters out there!

  306. I love this blog piece. I commend you for being a dad! (And yes, I think it simply is being a dad.) And having the guts to share it, despite the hate mail you have gotten. Men and Women are equal. Black and white pink or blue, people are equal. I’ve always had this problem growing up since I don’t even know my ethnicity. All I know, is my parents raised me right, and obviously so did yours, and now its your turn to teach your kids that too.
    Your wife is lucky to have married a man who is willing to share in the parenting lifestyle. That’s what you are doing, and there are countless other men like you, my husband among them. Its a nice reminder to see that there are other men not ashamed of being a dad and a husband!

    And to the haters out there, grow a damn pair and be a better person!

    Much love from a Mama.

  307. Great post! The picture reminded me of being a little girl and my macho dad would spend an hour every night braiding my LONG hair just perfectly.
    I love that you are promoting real fatherhood and that it shouldn’t be Earth-shattering but the norm. My friends are always shocked that my husband raises our six boys with me and spends real, meaningful time with them. (On top of that, he even helps out with housework without being asked after getting home from work.) I wish all men were as dedicated to the families they helped create!

  308. wellokaythen says:

    I think it’s an excellent dream.

    I’m curious if you’ve gotten much criticism from mothers along the lines of:

    “Big deal. I do this every day, and you don’t see me bragging about it.”


    “Welcome to my world. It’s about time.”

  309. WOW! Such ignorant ppl on the www. You were absolutely correct in saying the most ignorant ones are the loudest. You keep doing what you’re doing. It’s a good look!

  310. A lovely post. I am a new fan. Keep on doing what you do. People want to change the world with signs, protests and boycotts, but the easiest way to change the world is through our children.

  311. This is amazing! My dad also loved his daddy job too. Back in the early 80s, when I was a little girl he would also do my hair and my little sister’s hair for school and dress us up in our school uniforms. It wasn’t perfect (and I have a school picture to prove it) but he did it. He also taught me to mow our huge lawn in the summer, finish our basement and do all that “boy/manly” chores too. Today, I continue to do that as well as my job as a mother and wife. I luckily & happily married a man who is like my father and loves being one. He’ll come home between work calls just to see his kids or he spends his days off caring for them while I work. It’s a shared role being a parent and we love it. I just wish people would change their views on a lot of things in life and just grow up. Mature their mind.

    Keep loving your daddy job! Thank you!

  312. How can anyone find anything bad to say about this picture. Ignorance is color blind. “Race” is a political ploy used to divide people groups. We are all the human race, all God’s children and creations, color matters not. I’m not “white”, but more of a peach color. You’re not “black”, but a dark shade of tan/brown. People are funny, and we’re all ignorant in some way. I guys that’s what makes us all unique. Got to love people. Great job dad, love the picture.

  313. The first thing I saw was a man with two kids – a baby hanging off his chest and a little girl who’s hair was being brushed. The first thing I thought – “I remember my dad’s attempts to brush my hair.” Then I remember my husband brushing my daughter’s (his step-daughter) hair in the morning for school. It warmed my heart to see it. Now, maybe its because I’m from NYC and I know a lot of mixed race couples, but I totally did not think race. And certainly didn’t see anything negative in it. People who had hate to post probably are the illegitimate spawn of those drug dealing deadbeats they mentioned. Otherwise, why would they hate so much? And I still don’t get this whole “You didn’t marry a black woman” thing. Get over it. People marry who they love.

  314. When I first saw that picture I thought it was cute, because for me it simply showed a father who loves his daughter and his wife. I’m so sorry you have to deal with the filth on the internet, I wish people could develop tact for their fellow human beings and not say horrible things to strangers. I actually would love to see a change there as I think some adults have lost their filter on what they say to others. However, I wanted to say Thank you so much for addressing the topic on good fathers and racism. It was a fantastic article and keep up the good work!

  315. Hey- Just wanted to say cute picture. At first I wasn’t sure why your picture was a big deal so I had to click on it to see why. I honestly thought it was probably the babywearing. I think it’s cool that you are hanging out at home, I think dads should be 50/50 and I didn’t notice your children are lighter but I view skin color as a continuum and don’t really notice that first. So I guess where I am concerned your dream came true. Awesome job at the ponytail. Kid hair can be trying!

  316. Ebony Mena says:

    I applaud this dad, there is northing wrong with doing your daughter’s hair. My husband did it and his daughter’s like it to the point that they did not want me to touch there hair they wanted daddy but now I do there hair and everything is fine But I know if I ask he will do it. So I applaud all dad’s that do good thing’s for there daughter’s and son’s, but with a girl it show’s her how a man is suppose to treat his daughter. So good done dad’s

  317. I work at Fathers’ Support Center which helps fathers reconnect with their children. This is a great example of fathers being involved in their children’s lives.Since its founding, Fathers’ Support Center has served nearly 10,000 fathers and their families- including 25,000 children.

  318. You sir, are BOSS.

    • Boss and then some! Kind of guy I would marry for sure.

    • Well, since that’s essentially what I was going say, I’ll just say “DITTO”!

    • Good for you for stepping up as a father and parent for these days there are married and single fathers out there doing their best being a good father and that I give you an A. For not many are stepping up to do their job but you have and no one should put married and single fathers down for doing his job as a father.

  319. I work at Fathers’ Support Center which helps fathers reconnect with their children. This is a great example of fathers being involved in their children’s lives. Since its founding, Fathers’ Support Center has served nearly 10,000 fathers and their families- including 25,000 children.

  320. I have a dream too that all your kind would go back to Africa and chuck spears at wild animals

  321. Blood is one color-red! There is only on race- The Human Race! I am very proud of you as a man for being there for your family and standing your grounds! Tough times never last, but tough people do! Your daughters are going to need you and your strength when they are faced with such issues. God Bless You and Your Family!

  322. my first thought when I saw this picture was “adorable!.” I guess I am naive enough that I didn’t understand what the big deal was until I read this entry. good for you for being a stand-up dad and also for standing up to the haters. your kids are so cute. (p.s. I also did not even notice that they are no 100% black. guess I am color blind too. I can only hope I am raising my children the same way.)

  323. Thank you for this. My husband is a stay at home dad when he is not in school full time, he also is a youth pastor. We only have 1 little boy (so no girls to have to put hair in ponytails) but his friends and family are hard on him sometimes because he doesn’t have a “job”. I didn’t know working 20 hours a week as a youth pastor (paid), going to school full time (18 hours) being an amazing husband, AND father wasn’t work. I applaud you good sir. This is the first time I have read your blog, and it most certainly won’t be the last. Thank you for sticking up for all the dad that think their relationship with their family is more important than anything, it was refreshing to see! Be blessed, and keep doing what you’re doing. From a girl who had a super active dad (who btw, never attempted to put my hair into a ponytail) you’re children will appreciate it!

  324. You rock. Because you’re an excellent human.

  325. I never comment on blogs. read the article and am astonished you got negativity and racism. Disgusting. I am a wife and partner of a strong man and father and I think this is awesome! You’re awesome. keep it up!

  326. Tina Ellis says:

    Black, white or freaking turquoise! A good parent is just a good parent. Showing that love shouldn’t be taken away from them. He’s a proud poppa & it’s only the negative insecurities of ignorant people that would bash on this. I love the image & all positivity it represents! Those are some loved children.

  327. Really can’t tell you how much I love this post.
    I’m a full time single Mom and I wish that the deadbeat
    Dads in this world could read this…but even if they did
    They would still blame someone else for them not having a
    Relationship with their children! I applause you for your
    Honestly it’s refreshing…we as parents moms n dads have roles
    To play in our children’s lives to be the Best version of
    Themselves. To raise strong women and men who have ethics,
    Manners and love each other no matter the color if their skin.

  328. This was so inspiring. All the haters and critics need a massage or a day off. Very profound and beautiful pic. Thank you for taking the time to post.

  329. thank you for being a good father to your children, it is the best gift you can give them

  330. Wow. I guess there will always be some people who decide to be rude. I agree with you; you doing your daughter’s hair should not be a big deal. I am on the side of being happy to see a dad’s role changing in society as a whole. My hubby does a lot more than my dad did with us. It is a marvelous thing for all of us in the family.

    I just see a lot of love in this photo and that’s all that matters. 🙂

  331. Admirable – keep up the good work. I’m a dad to a 9yr old little guy who is half Korean/half African-American and I make sure I come home from work and give him the time he deserves.

    Its remarkable how securely they grow into their own skin when they know both daddy and mommy are there supporting them. Great job

  332. Celene Humphries says:

    Very nice. Although, I’m just as surprised as the dad was. My first child was born in 1995, so almost 2 decades ago. And, he has frequently been the primary parent in charge at home during various time periods over that time, including staying home for 8 months when I returned to work a month after our first child was born. It just never seemed strange to me. Well, I confess I wouldn’t have watched Nascar with my baby. And, I wouldn’t have picked them up from school covered in mud from mountain biking. :o) For what it’s worth (and much to the relief of our two children), he’s also always been the main cook in the family. Well, the kids started helping some about 5 years ago, learning from their dad. Back to this dad here, I’m sorry that your experience at the beginning of fatherhood was interrupted by such stupidity. Being near the end of the childhood years, I can tell you that my children have benefited tremendously from having both of us so involved in their lives. And, I’m glad my husband has had the opportunity to create just as many wonderful memories as me.

  333. I think this is a great picture! Can you teach my husband now to do a little girl’s hair too!

  334. I came from my yahoo home page, after I clicked on the story they had about you. This is the first time I’ve read your blog, just this post, and I’m a single white female with no children and I think you are an amazing PERSON! Keep doing what you’re doing…spread the LOVE!

  335. Allyson Murphy says:

    NOTHING sexier or more powerful than a good father! Keep up the good work! 🙂

  336. You are a fantastic dad. I’m fortunate to know many men like you. Keep going. Those darling girls are going to benefit from a strong, intelligent, caring mom and a strong, intelligent, caring dad! And many men and women are benefiting from you sharing your family. Thank you!

  337. I absolutely LOVE this. It reminds me of special moments with my own daddy when he would attempt to braid my hair growing up. Thank you for sharing this wonderful image of a Black father and his beautiful children. I am a black woman who loves and admires her father beyond words. He is the best Daddy a girl could ever have. I am happy to see other children sharing in my experience of a 2-parent household with an amazing dad!!!!

  338. Just to say thanki you for a reminder of the important. I live in a country where that picture of you is even more outrageous, man usually do not take care of kids, You made my heart wish I had a dad like you. Thank you.

  339. electricspacegirl says:

    I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. When I clicked on this link I wasn’t sure what the “controversial” picture was going to be, and when I saw it I was surprised. There are more of us out there who are open-minded about gender roles. I live in one of the most liberal cities in America, and this kind of thing wouldn’t even register to most people around here. Your picture looks normal to me.

    As for the racial comments, I guess while we have come so far since slavery, we still have so much work to do. Education is the key. These people are just ignorant. I find hope in the fact that the younger generations are more accepting and embracing of diversity. I hope that trend continues and someday, it won’t matter what color you are, and implicit racism (subconscious), explicit racism (conscious), and structural racism (policies), will no longer exist.

    It’s going to take more than 150 after abolitionism for that to ever happen, if it ever does. Racism is not extinct, people, and pointing out where there is racism does not make you a racist. That’s just a distraction from the real issue. Why can’t we all just get along?

  340. As a parent, I totally get that when the gender stuff falls away, and the racist stuff falls away, you are a parent who wants a virtual high five for discovering an awesome way to get something accomplished in an efficient way because that is nearly impossible with kids. So I am sending you that high five! Woo! Get it!
    Virtual high five to the face to all the haters. Race, gender, and outdated parenting standards will continue to be a problem in our lifetimes, and pictures like this normalize the experience for other sah dads and families with multiple ethnicities, so thanks for handling the publicity so well.

  341. Well, at least in my case, I didn’t think the photo was a big deal. As a father of three daughters, I can tell you from personal experience that it would have been a big deal if you had been putting her hair up in a ballet bun. THAT’s what separates the men from the boys.

  342. <3 I love your picture. It is way too sweet! <3 Your children are adorable!


  344. This was on my facebook feed and my first reaction was simply “YAY, an example of what I already know to be true – that fathers can be great, loving caregivers for their kids.” So in internet terms, not out to give you a cookie but glad you shared what is essentially you doing what you do everyday for your family. I’ve been with the same man for over 8 years now and while we don’t have kids, I’m the one who works and he takes care of the majority of the domestic tasks in between going to school. My hope is that the stigma of a man doing “traditional wife duties” will lessen the more we talk about it as no big deal.

    Also I’m really sorry you had to deal with the racist comments. It baffles me how biracial families have to deal with bigotry coming from people who wouldn’t stand for it in other circumstances.

  345. Doyin and his wife,

    Thank you for being normal, honorable parents. Thank you for showing young families and people everywhere a father can and should be involved. My husband and I were so happy to read about such a positive and uplifting story. We pray for all the best for you four!

    East Coast Mom of 3

  346. Go Daddy!!! My dad learned how to french braid my hair in the early 90’s because my mom (after trying very hard) just could not get the hang of it. People were shocked that my DAD did this and not my mom. I cannot remember a time in my life that my dad wasn’t as involved, active or loving as my mother. As a women, growing in a time very different then my parents, it makes the world of difference to have the love and support of my parents. Honestly as much as my mother has made me who I am today the respect and treatment I demand from other men is because my dad showed me how a women is to be treated. He did this by treating my mother and his 3 daughters with unconditional love, respect and honesty. You will see when your daughter is older that her standards for herself will be extremely high because her parents taught her to value herself. It takes a real man to be a daddy!!

  347. TattooedDad says:

    I find those comments disgusting. I know what its like to multitask with my kid and the bond you develop is priceless. I have no respect for fathers that find “dad-work” a nuisance. You, sir, are a gentleman and from what I can tell a great father. Your children and wife are lucky to have you helping out and I have never seen a more manly display of fatherhood. As far as the race thing… Really? Its 2014 already love is blind get over yourselves people. Forget the fact that some of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen were bi-racial. Either way, you have my respect and admiration.

  348. i can very much relate and respect this man here!do to health complications!i have been a stay at home dad for the last 3yrs!theres not a thing on earth i wouldnt do for my wife and children!but its hard for a man thats used to driving tracker trailers for ten years!my wife makes decent money but of course knowone is rich!we maintain but id give anything to find the help i need to get back in the world!

  349. I had to read the article because honestly, when I saw the picture I didn’t understand what was going on, as in why it was some big story. I was confused. I thank God that my parents raised me right. I have never understood what the big deal was with loving who you love, regardless of color, religion, status, etc. Maybe that makes me naive, and if it does, I like it that way. I am also blessed to have a husband who takes care of my daugher the way a man should, as an equal partner! Keep on keepin’ on. People talk a lot of sh*t when they’re sitting behind a computer screen. I would love to see someone judge you or make a hateful comment to your face, but I’m guessing they’d be too afraid to get punched in theirs.

  350. Nicholas Villarreal says:

    I work at a Babies ‘R Us, and I can not tell you how many times I have seen dads come in on their own to pick up stuff for their kids, sometimes with kids in tow. It’s great to see, and sometimes, when both parents come in with their kids, it’s the dad that’s left handling the kids because mom knows the store and what they need to get. Not once in the entire time that I have worked there (coming up on two years) have I ever looked at a father with a child and thought anything but, “Well, he seems to be handling things.” Unless, of course, it’s, “He seems lost, maybe I can help him.” But then again, that can happen with any guest. Being a dad is just being a dad, and no matter what, you got done what needed to be done. Either way, looking at that picture, kudos for taming your daughter’s hair, it looks like it gets all kinds of crazy. Prom night is going to be fun for the hairstylist a decade or so down the line.

    Keep up the good work!

  351. Wendy Bates says:

    My initial thought when I saw this photo was “How adorable! A daddy fixing his little girl’s hair.” Then I thought”wow he’s doing a great job multi-tasking with the little one strapped to his chest! ” There are far too many nasty people who think it is ok to bully other people via the Internet. Seriously, go crawl back under your rock and continue to hate your sorry life. The bullshit negativity and criticizing needs to stop!

  352. My husband stayed home with our girls for the first 7 years, and now I’m home with them. He learned as well as I how to cornrow and braid, he’s a great cook, he shares helping with homework, dishes, laundry, and it’s all so normal to us that I forget this is anything different.

    That pic of you made me think of one of my husband, with a 3-year-old riding piggyback and little gal in the sling in front with a bottle. Women constantly used to come up to him and say, “Well, it looks like you have your hands full!” No worries, gals, he’s got big hands. He’s such a great dad.

    My poor mother — she’s from Ireland and 89, and doesn’t have any frame of reference for a man being like this — she often comments on how he’s really their mother. I explain, no, he’s their father. To her, and I think to a lot of other people, “mother” means “the one who cares for the children”, and “father” means “the parent who doesn’t have much to do with the children”. So, to her, since he cares (that’s a verb, folks), he’s automatically a “mother”.

    For me, I think dads are so essential, showing our girls that men are kind, decent, positive, helpful, and loving. Now, when they are older and are dating, and your sons behave otherwise, my girls will have run for the hills, spending time with the gents who know how to love. Boom.

  353. Krystal Harkness says:

    I was raised in a traditional black Baptist home with both parents who are still married today. this is still a shock to see not because it is a father who is actually in their children’s lives but to see a man doing little girl’s hair is the shocker. my dad did my hair twice ever in life. I guess my perception of this is from a sexism stand point. just wanted share that not all people who view this as a shock are thinking what may be popular belief. my parents had traditional values, my mom cooked and clean and dad did the yard work. Right wrong or indifferent.

  354. Simply Awesome!

  355. This is awesome. I don’t understand why people would think this is such a big deal though. I sometimes wear my 4 month old son in a carrier while doing things around the house. I also cook, clean, do the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the animals, and so on. I see it as part of being a husband and a father. I’m sorry you received so many negative comments. Don’t let it get you down, it sounds like you are a great dad, and that is what matters.

  356. I don’t get it……we have a black man in the White House so shouldn’t this racist stuff be long since over? I see him as a good father. What is wrong with all these haters !? The comments are so narrow minded & stupid….like the one where he couldn’t handle a strong black woman, lady, a strong black woman would love this. For the comment about marrying outside ones race & not being able to support that…… who are you to judge . I cannot support such narrow minded idiots ! KEEP ON WHAT YOU’RE DOING, DOYIN, you’re a testament to good strong BLACK father, & what’s good in America !!!!

  357. I think it is great. I do not see a father taking care of his kids by himself as special. However, a father “doing” girls hair is. I don’t think it makes them less of a parent just have different strengths. I do not think a dad has to take care of his daughters grooming to make him a good dad. Most of us moms spent our childhoods and teen years doing our hair and our friends hair. The dads typically do not. My hubby could not braid my daughter long blonde hair. He could brush it and put it in a pony tail. But he could do things I couldn’t.

    I think paternity leave is great. My kids are almost grown and they did not have that then. My hubby took vacation time.

  358. Priscilla says:

    I just have to say forget the haters and keep doing what you do. My husband really digs being a father and does the same things you do. We have only girls …four of them and I have to say…for being a man who grew up with not a single female cousin or even a sister…my husband is doing a pretty good damn job at raising girls! You are too! What a wonderful way to raise them…and when they get older they will look for spouses that you have have projected out to them. Caring, loving, kind, helpful, what parent doesn’t want that for their child? I will never forget the one time my husband had to handle all of the house and children schedules because I had to help my mom with my dads sudden health crisis. I had been with my mom for 3 days…from very early morning (before the sun rose) to midnight. One day he came into my dads hospital room and just PLOPPED on the couch in the room and gave a loud sigh. My mom asked him if he was ok? He said “I dont know how she does all this all day, everyday?! She’s superwoman!” The thing is that I dont do it on my own…he helps me out a lot. And I know I am one of the few women who is lucky enough to have a man like him, just like your wife …we are the few…who have awesome husbands! Rock on!! BTW…your kiddos are adorable!!! 🙂

  359. Jaiy Nance says:

    All I saw when I looked at that picture was a father doing something special for his little girl and a very cute, chubby baby. It made me smile. The internet gives everyone a voice and sometimes that is very unfortunate. I share your dream and wish you and your beautiful family the best.

  360. Brought a smile to my face..thanks for being a “dad stud”!

  361. Doyin, you left out the subset of us guys who saw that picture and thought, “Wish I had arms like that.”

    Great post and great pic. Keep it up.

  362. You are a great Dad! I was a single dad to my beautiful daughter for many years. I brushed and braided and put her hair in ponytails every day. I loved it and miss it. The simple joy of what you were experiencing in that pic is something beyond words. I’m sorry it had to be ruined by unintelligent fools. We need more Dad’s like you. Keep loving those kids like you do!

  363. ModernSurvival says:

    Sir, well said, if standing ovations were possible on a blog, you would both deserve and receive one.

  364. Wow. Thanks for being such a rousing good example of a dad. I can’t think of anything better to say. Thank you, also for your statements with respect to MLK and his “I Have a Dream”. I moved from a largely White/Hispanic region to an area about an hour from Detroit, and the blatant attitude of the “stupid ones” came as a huge culture shock. I marvel at the narrow-mindedness of some people on both sides of the color spectrum. Your viewpoint encourages me that race relations are getting better, even though the stupidest ones tend to be the loudest.

    Keep being cool, Dad. Us smart ones love it. 🙂

  365. QuietFire says:

    The only thing that “shocks” me about this writing is the need for profanity. Otherwise everything was well stated and well written. Don’t get me wrong, I use profanity myself and easily, but if I am trying to make a point for a larger audiance I avoid using words that would be deemed as off putting.

    Other wise, Good Dad!

  366. I just saw your picture. I can’t even fathom people responding in a hateful way to a picture like. I thought that was pretty awesome. Peace!

  367. I saw this picture on facebook and didn’t think anything of it. Then I read the headline and it insinuated that this picture caused a big deal. I thought I was missing something (as usual….I was born a blonde, so it happens… a lot… lol). Reading all that you wrote, I just couldn’t believe it. Trust me hun, those that have a problem with a daddy being a daddy and spewing hate at you says little of you but a lot about them. Maybe I only saw a father being a good father because I have an awesome husband too. Or maybe I didn’t see “color” because I’m an Army brat and was raised to look at the person, not the skin. I mean I was seriously scanning this picture trying to find something wrong (that way I can avoid reading the entire article…. I’m not good with reading a lot this early in the morning lol) and I was looking to see if you were holding the brush the wrong way, or maybe the younger child’s carrier wasn’t on right….I really just couldn’t see “it”. In our house my husband playing with our sons and doing “woman” stuff (like dishes and cooking) is normal. When he’s around his nieces he will do their hair too. And if they want him to wear a tiara and paint his nails, then dammit he’s wearing a tiara with rainbow nail polish and he’ll smile about it the whole time. Its just what good men and daddies do. But wow. Just wow. How can so many people feel hate when seeing that picture? It honestly makes me feel sad for those who can look at this picture and see anything but a cute family. And btw, your daughters are adorable:)

  368. Anyone who looks at this picture and only sees color was not shown this level of love as a child. My dad did the same for me when I visited his house after he and my mom separated. I have vivid memories of him waking me up with a warm washcloth to the face, and him brushing my hair before we left for breakfast at a restaurant, then the car shows or the circus later. Doyin, keep doing what you’re doing, your wife already appreciates you and your children will thank you for it.

  369. Mary Beman says:

    Keep up the awesome job Doyin! I have to say that when I read this I was completely impressed that a man could and would step to the plate. Ignore all the haters and keep being the awesome Dad!!

  370. This is so enraging! I can’t even get my words together because I am so baffled. There are still racist, uneducated IDIOTS out there that don’t deserve an ounce of attention… ignore them. All I see in the photo is a caring Dad tending to his children… Unbelievable.

  371. Denise Soules says:

    It doesn’t actually sound like your the type of man who needs to be commended on his parenting skills, but as you said so many mothers out there are never given a second look, so for that I commend you. Its nice to see any male figure doing something for his family. My husband works very hard to support my family, and I am very grateful for that, however I really wish he wanted to spend more time with the kids. I think that there is something to a man, who can do this job. I would love some help banging out the laundry, doing some dishes, bathing the kids, cooking dinner, reading nighttime stories, and all the regular routines that must be done daily when you have a family. Teach my husband co-parenting cause somewhere between work and money, he thinks money is what holds a family together. We could be the wealthiest family in the world, and nothing would change how exhausted, tired, and disappointed I am when the kids want to play and daddy would rather watch a movie, or play video games. One of the other things is never understanding that kids need to be loud and crazy sometimes, setting them in front of a TV and saying watch your cartoon, not parenting. What you talk about is true, I would give anything in the world to have my husband do these jobs. We have two kids and I can count on two hands how many diapers were ever changed by dad.

  372. loves it! my husband is a wonderful dad and very involved! although I see it as a norm – I’ve also seen it as not normal in other families too! bravo to the good daddies out there and keep up the good work! be an example to the men out there that need an example! I believe in them too!

  373. Adorable picture, and super adorable kiddies. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much ignorance over a sweet moment like this, but thank you for sharing and allowing us all to learn from it.

  374. Lance Thopson says:

    Now THAT is a good father! As a father of a 2 1/2 year old daughter, I spend every minute I can with her and would do the same. There will ALWAYS be idiots and scum that will make snide comments. Let them as they only do it because of their own inadequacies. Cheers to you!

  375. I just have to say kudos for being a real man! I absolutely love daddy with their kids pictures. I agree that it shouldn’t be a big deal, but unfortunately it is. Since there are so many fathers out there these days that are nothing more than sperm donors it warms my heart to see fathers being daddies. I love all the other points you made here as well. My only criticism…I know there wasn’t much, but please try to drop the foul language! I enjoy reading posts such as this, but the language takes so much away from it and starts bringing you down a level, where I know you don’t belong!

  376. THANK YOU! My dad raised me, by himself, since I was 2 years old. There he was, with a baby girl, and no clue on how to even cook. But, did he give up? No way! He stuck through learning how to properly part my hair for pigtails, get tights on me without ruining them, and picking out the most girlie items a man should never have to stand on line holding. He went through it all… and this was in the mid to late 1970s.

    Because of the time this took place, people talked about how it wasn’t right – a man raising a little girl by himself. “He must be doing stuff to her”, they used to whisper behind his back. “It just isn’t natural”, others would say. He even smiled happily while he attended all the Mother’s Day and mommy-day celebrations at school. A man among a sea of women that were all giving him the evil eye… and then they’d turn their sad faces towards me with such pity. My dad just continued to smile through it all.

    My dad is the best man I’ve ever known. Sure, he made mistakes along the way but it’s called learning. There was NEVER any “funny” businesses and all my friends loved him so much that they called him “Dad”. He is a true hero.

    So… from this humble Daddy’s Little Girl (at age 40), I thank you with all my heart for what you’re doing for your daughters. They will remember this time for the rest of their lives. You are a true Daddy and don’t let the haters tell you otherwise.

    • Thanks for sharing your story it actually made me cry. So beautiful. People have to open their minds and see that there are fathers all over the world that take care of their children.

  377. When the title said the pic caused controversy, I kept looking for some hidden danger to the kids that maybe I was missing. Nope. It’s just about the hottest pic I’ve seen. Forget those haters and keep up the good work as a hardworking dad.

    • Me too! I was expecting he had no pants on, I guess my dad was amazing and did everything for my bros and myself so I just didn’t realize so many dudes out there would freak and the racist comments are insane, dudes need to stop smoking pot and playing Xbox and be good dads. Chris Rock use to say ” I hate when black men want praise because ‘they aint never been to jail’ or ‘ they pay their child support’ he would yell out ‘ you are suppose to do those things fool you don’t get a reward for not going to jail you aren’t suppose to go!’

  378. Beau Baer says:

    When I saw the photo, I thought just what you wished – “What’s the big deal? That’s a cute pic of a Dad taking care of his kids..” So, of course I had to read the article at that point to find out what the big deal was about. It is sad that you would have the negative reactions and comments that you received…even a small percentage. I would love to be helping my kids get ready for school right now. I’m currently stationed in Afghanistan with the U.S. Army and I just thank God for technology like FaceTime that has made it possible for me to at least virtually, attend church with my wife and kids, watch my daughter’s choir concert and school events, open Christmas presents with my wife and kids and talk to my Dad at his nursing home. Your story is an inspiration to me and should be an inspiration to all Fathers. Thank you…:)

    • My brother in law is there too, in Kandahar, until June. Thank you for your service to our country. Thank you for sacrificing your time with your family to serve all of our families! You might not be brushing hair and teeth, but you are providing them with safety in a way most Dad’s can’t. Praying for you and your family and your safe return!

  379. Dude – I wish I could know you personally, and be able to count you as a friend. You seem to have an amazing grasp of things that are important, and are willing to do what is necessary. Kudos to you and your family. You are a credit to the human race – regardless of race, creed, color, political persuasion, or any other pigeon hole type of qualifier you may want to apply here. Thank you so much for sharing, and keep fighting the good fight as you are an inspiration!

  380. I love this! I have a picture of my DH with my then 3 month old daughter on his back (African Woman style) while ironing. I remember that day and remember how grateful I was that he agreed to do it while I tended to my then 2 year old and myself in a rush to go out. When my children (now 12, 10, and 8) are fond of the pic. and I am glad my daughter and sons see a great role model of a caring, helpful, father in it.

  381. Preston Morgan says:

    I Love this Man! I am glad you put this out! Thanks!

  382. I love the comment about until men and women can complete the same parenting tasks we will have problems. I thought there was something wrong on Christmas Eve when I was in the kitchen baking cookies and my wife was outside cleaning the garage. Glad to see there are others like us.

  383. I gotta say that you’re doing your girl’s hair much better than I am, and I am a mother *facepalm!
    Society tries to put people into boxes. Those thinking and doing outside of the box, and are proud of doing it, are seen as weirdos, miscreants, deadbeats, wackos. In my society, women aren’t supposed to work outside of her home, earn money, and spend the money without her husband’s permission. If you do that, then you’re either a hussy or a bitch. Thank God I have a great husband who doesn’t care that I’m doing all that, regardless of what the people around him say. That said, although my husband is not all that involved with our kids, he’s willing to share the caretaking whenever he can. So, keep up being a great Dad and Husband and I hope you can show the other men that there’s nothing wrong about being a great person who loves his wife and children that much and is willing to show the love through actions, no matter how “unmanly” they seem.

  384. Bless you for being so involved with your kids. I have a wonderful son-in-law who is also into his kids and is a terrific dad too. There’s not enough guys like you! As for the racist comments: There will always be ignorant prejudiced people no matter how hard we try to eliminate it. Let’s all try to show them how to express kindness no matter their skin color.

  385. Loni Sprague says:

    I have to say – I am impressed. I met a man once who was raising his Son on his own. Not because he had to – but by choice. I watched in disbelief as he reminded his son to get his home work done, brush his teeth, clean his room etc. I watched in amusement as he included his Son in the many different things that needed to be done around the house – such as shoveling, carpentry, working on the car. I gained sooooo much respect for him just by being quiet and watching. I am now happily married to that man going on our second year. I thought it was very rare to see a Father making soooo much time for his kid – but obviously you are too! Thank you for breaking that stereo type – keep up the good work.

  386. Excellent post and thanks for sharing this. I like your dream. Hopefully, this will act as inspiration for people to realize how important and normal it is for every parent to be as involved with loving, caring for, and supporting their children whether the parent happens to be a mother or father.

  387. You are awesome and I am sorry you got all that nasty mail.

  388. This is very timely. My husband stayed home with our sick infant recently and the only way he could soothe her was to put her in the moby wrap. She stopped crying and felt better and he posted it on facebook. Luckily we only got positive responses. It makes me sad that people would make any of those comments to you. I love your post and agree with all of it. You are a wonderful father it sounds like and keep doing what you are doing!!!

  389. Banky Eubanks says:

    I do it all the time. Need to see my pic too?

  390. Cheryl Milan says:

    This right here……God’s work. Mr. Richards, you don’t need anybody’s approval…..you have His. 🙂

  391. Keep doing what you’re doing! Boom… Love it!

  392. Speak it. I love everything about this post. Everything.

  393. I found this post shared on FB… But I’ll be following you from now on. The negative feedback you got on this is nuts. I just don’t understand people. Growing up in NY and then moving to the FL, I’ve been around all kinds of people. Some of them kind and amazing, some of them shallow and ignorant. I think that most of the shallow and ignorant ones spend a lot of time on the internet being mean to people they don’t know to make themselves feel better about whatever is ripping at them. Keep your head up.

  394. we have alot of dads who dont particpate in the children lives this is so refreshing and honest i almost had lost hope in dads thanks for knocking me back into reality and see that there is dads who unconditionly love their children and help in all ways of raising children bless you and your family

  395. I have never posted on anyone’s blog before other than my spouse’s. But I had to take a moment to say, Mr. Richards I agree with you this should not be a big deal. My husband is very involved with the parenting of his children. Ex: he wakes our 1 year old up every morning, dresses her, feeds her, brushes her teeth and washes her face and drops her off at daycare before he heads to work. This is just one example of the million and one things he do to co-parent. P.S. We are both black with two beautiful black children.

  396. If my ex husband had even thought of helping with the kids like this he would not be an ex. Wonderful example of what a father should be.

  397. First time visitor here.. WOW… Great writing and venting! I am proud to say I didn’t notice the skin color difference until you mentioned it in your article. Don’t people know about genetics? I have a blond light skinned daughter and a dark haired olive complexion daughter… People can be ignorant for sure and it’s not just race! My cousin was in a wheelchair.. we got the stares constantly, my daughter has tattoo’s, judgements and staring, weight, the car you drive, the color tie you wear, it goes on and on. Why in the world are people insistent on being fixated on what other people are doing wrong. I have enough trouble trying to figure out my own life and don’t have time or the energy to criticize others.

    Thank you for doing what many fathers including my own birth father didn’t do.. Loving on his kids!

  398. You had me at “I’m taking a month off from my corporate job to bond with my 3 month old”. Right on!

  399. My daughters are biracial, and her father and I were very young when we got married, and very in love. To this day, I get the most insensitive assumptions about having them out of wedlock (why automatically assume we weren’t married?), or having them with a deadbeat (Steve’s awesome, definitely involved and definitely NOT deadbeat). Being a good parent doesn’t have thing one to do with race. Our girls are 16 now, and while we’ve divorced now, we’re still co-parenting and making every effort to raise up great girls. We’re very close friends, and our daughters look like a perfect blend of the two of us, as most kids do. They also deal with racist BS on occasion, but it’s getting more rare as time goes on, thankfully.

  400. Courtney M. says:

    Boom, indeed. Beautiful, beautiful post. May you feel nothing but all the love headed your direction!

  401. mama jane says:

    i have a son-in-love who will put socks over his ears, get down on his knees and bark like a dog to make his baby girl giggle. he is a teacher and associate pastor by calling and vocation, btw. we don’t do color in our family, too many to keep up with. been following your blog for a long time. keep on doing the great job. and the haters? beauty is skin deep, but stupid is to the bone.

  402. I’m writing you in for President! God bless you for being spot on and not ashamed to state what needs to be said.

  403. Peter Fulmer says:

    You just keep on keeping on. I just shut down my Real Estate practice to spend all of my time on my family and its every growing needs. When the kids were younger, I took a job that allowed me to care for them, and the house. As they got older, I got busier as they needed less attention. After a number of years it has become unmanageable, and this month is my first in my new, full time job of parent and husband. I am so happy to have this be my job, it was always my duty, and now I can do it without having another “priority” in the way. Peace to you, and yours, good sir, and rock on.

  404. This is the first post of yours I have read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am 38 years old and my father was the parent who was home more often and my mother was the bread winner. This was not because he was lazy or unmotivated; my father was an incredibly intelligent man who dropped out of college to help raise his 2 year old brother and work to support the family and assist his mother. He was only 18 years old when his own father passed away and he felt it was his duty to his family. He supported my mother by looking after myself and my brother while she worked and attended graduate school – he cooked, cleaned, got us off the school, did everything possible to remove tasks from her so she could focus on completing her graduate degree. My favorite pictures from my childhood are with my dad. In one, he has “fixed” my very long hair for school and it is all kinds of crooked! In the other, he is sitting on the floor with me, having a tea party. My father loved me, my brother and my mom with all his being and gave without question or regret of his time and his love. I am a better person for that today and have endless positive memories of him now that he is gone. Keep doing what you are doing, make those memories for your girls. At the end of the day THAT is what will matter to them most.

  405. Dawn Murphy says:

    Keep up the good work! Happy kids, happy wife, happy life!

  406. Love it! Great article and cheers to you my friend.

  407. Crystal MD says:

    See.. when I first saw this picture I didn’t really think anything of it but “awwwrr” which is probably most womens reactions. At least that’s what I hope. Because there is not reason to be shocked or proud, mad or overly pleased by that picture. I assumed they were your children, but they could have been your nieces after a sleep over/babysitting night.

    My hubby is a ‘mans man’, but he and his brother both love children. Whether it be their own or their nieces and nephews, they’ve always had time for them and always relished the time spent.

    I just assume see, that this is what grown men do. No questions asked, this is what you do because you have responsibilities to those children, plain and simple. Because men as well as women play an important role, because if we bring them into this world it is our job to get them ready for this world, to give them love and everything else that makes a happy, healthy well adjusted person in society!

    Enjoy your little girls, as I’m sure you know already they grow awfully fast =)

  408. “To be clear, I’m not addressing all black folks here – because the overwhelming majority of my black followers are kind, clear-thinking, and intelligent individuals.
    It’s just that the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.”

    You hit the nail on the head there. “Dumb” knows no color either. Stay the course, Doyin.

  409. I’m sure your kids appreciate the time you are spending with them. After all its about them. The haters should just ask their kids if they prefer their dad spent less or more time with them. Perhaps they will say less but that just makes it sad.

  410. Loved reading this! So refreshing.
    I actually have a very similar picture of my uncle with his daughter. He is blow drying her hair with one hand and brushing it with the other, and he’s carrying her outfit over his shoulder. And he’s from Gaza Strip, Palestine! Haha, if people are surprised when they see this picture, you can imagine how surprised my friends are when they see that! Funny to see stereotypes challenged right before your eyes =)

    • I’d love to see that photo! 😀 A girlfriend of mine from the US, doing missionary work in the Middle East found a wonderful Christian Palestinian guy. I can see him doing that kind of thing when they have kids! 😀

  411. There will always be haters. This picture is beatiful. Funny thing is that probably half of those haters who sent you nasty comments and messages don’t even have kids, and have no idea what it means to be a dad. Keep it up dad!

  412. My husband forwarded me this article–he’s a great dad too! You are obviously a loving and devoted father. Thank you for sharing and inspiring others!

  413. You make me smile! I am also in a mixed race marriage, with 2 gorgeous kids, and i just wanna say that you’re doing an AWESOME job as a dad, as a man and as a husband! It’s sad that we live in a world where your hard, work, love and dedication are completely overshadowed by such negativity! Shine on and soon enough the rest of the world will catch on. 2 steps forward and 1 step backwards is still progress!

  414. Sarah Hayward says:

    I didn’t see what the big deal was until I read the article. Nothing seems weird. My husband gets my daughter ready for school all the time when he’s home from work. That’s why it’s called parenthood. It involves both parents. Or at least it should.

  415. Much respect and admiration!

  416. Many children just want a parent.

  417. Great article! This would have been me years ago when my kids were younger. I was a stay at home dad for quite a while with my oldest. I was having a hard time finding work, the wife was working, so I just did what I had to. No thought about it. Let the haters hate, brother. They don’t know what they are missing out on. 🙂

  418. Hey, man just throwing support your way! Kathy

  419. I am sorry so many cruel people posted about your picture Sir. I have 5 kids living at home, 4 of which are daughters and you Sir are a Good Dad!!. In the words of Carrie Underwood “Mean people needs prayers”

  420. Jonathan Brown says:

    Hey man,

    For a year, I was a stay at home dad. Doing very much the same things that you discussed in this post. In addition, I did the majority of the cooking, the cleaning, and even the shopping for groceries. I was once called “Mr. Mom” by a lady at the store. And I was kind of offended…and I corrected her and told her that I go by dad. Feeding my family, and raising my kids, seems like the ONLY logical thing to do. While I had to step away from the work world for personal reasons and missed the things that I did, the fam always came first.

    The skepticism, I think, will always be there (especially for black men) because it is antithetical to the narrative that our society wants to spin about what masculinity is, and what black masculinity is. I am over it, and many times I am chided more by women than men that I somehow don’t understand how hard it is stay at home; and when I drop that little nugget on them they usually shut up. God bless bro, and I will be subscribing to this blog! You’re the man!

  421. My fantastic husband is a stay-at-home dad and we constantly have to defend that choice, so I see where there would be some idiots who object to your picture, but they’re just that, idiots. Great job and I’ll be following your blog and sending it to my husband now!

  422. Ignore hateful people they are a dime a dozen on the internet. There is always someone willing to say something completely nasty and cruel to the outright stupid. Always remember you cannot fix stupid 😉 If someone wants to be that person let it roll off your back and know its not you with the problem! I attribute it to the fact that lots of people are extremely brave when they do not have to speak to another persons face directly. I often wonder if the families of these people would approve of the attitudes of their loved ones…

  423. Wow! Please keep doing what your doing and please continue to write about it! Men/Fathers need this!!!!
    Thank you!

  424. Christian Griffin says:

    Shocked, astonished, and saddened that this is still and ‘issue’. These days, I would expect this kind of (also meaningless and pointless) outrage over, say, gay marriage and adoption, or some other more or less ‘current issue’. But no. We’re still playing the race card? We’re still judging others by their skin color? I’m not naive enough to believe that nobody is racist anymore, but seriously, we as a society are still SO racist that a photo of a loving father sparks controversy because that father happens to be black?

    Shut off the electricity, tear down the cities and move everyone back to caves, it’s time to start society over again, something clearly went wrong somewhere.

  425. Julius The Seehund says:

    Oh, I get it! The nasty comment people are just a) jealous of his guns and b) racist pieces of shit and c) schizophrenic! All of the above!

    Haters gonna hate. ^_^

  426. My hubby would never stay home with the boys voluntarily LOL but 3 boys aged 7, 5, and 3 are a little overwhelming LOL But you know what, he does a ton of things with my boys, or when I am handling them he is taking on the other jobs. When I am overwhelmed he sends me off and handles it.

    His good friend is staying home on Paternal leave for 7 months, and my hubby thinks he is crazy LOL, but is supporting him.

    Keep doing what you think is best. And know you are doing what is good for your family.

  427. Great article! I had to google “DDW” though and it made me wonder at first, why the author connected his daughters to digestive disease week… lol

  428. Awesome job. I had to work last night and found my husband had made cookies, read the book “The Tasty Bug” and then made. Tasty bugs with our daughters. It was a sweet moment but not out of the extraordinary for us. I’m just glad to see there are other men out there doing the same. This pic finally caught my attention after the many shares on facebook be cause it looked exactly like something that would happen at our house. Keep up the good work!

  429. This picture made me smile because it so reminded me of my brother. Roughly 30 years ago he was the first man in his county to win custody of his young daughters, then just 2 and 4. I was a teenager at the time and the only girl in the family. He made a list of everything I had on my dressing table, down to the brand names of the hair dryer and the curling irons. He bought duplicates and made me teach him how to do hair. There were many times when I saw him much as you were in the photo….two children getting their hair done by daddy. And he was GOOD! Like him, you appear to be a big guy, strong and manly. He took a bit of ribbing from other guys about his daddy duties but he always said it was the best gig he had and that they should give it a shot.

    Many people ignore the need for strong loving fathers in our current society. As a result of my brother and his hand on approach his girls had high expectations for what to look for in a husband. I’m happy to say they married men like their dad and the cycle continues. You can bet that your kids will do the same. I just wish more people, both men and women, understood the importance of fatherhood. Blogs like this help a lot.

    Thanks for making me smile today. You have a beautiful family.

  430. Andrea Monroe says:

    Your article made my tear up. I am so sorry that you were attacked for being a father and doing what fathers do. I hate our society so much sometimes. Racial profiling is still rampant in our country, especially in the South, where I live. I teach in a High School and have made a point to try to spread compassion. To do my part but it is hard. A lot of these kids are taught to be this way, generation after generation. I, for one, am happy to see a Dad much like my own husband, who did what needed to be done. Granted, we have a son but I am pretty sure he would have done the same for a daughter. We co-parent, and it looks like that is what you do too. You are being up and coming in your approach as a dad, for all dads. I am sure you know the statistics in other races, where dads were not as involved before and not there a lot. I think that even that is changing now, as we all grow and learn from past generations. Thank you for sharing this. Kudos to you. Your children are very lucky. Enjoy fatherhood and enjoy your children. You only get them for 18 years and trust a mom of a teen in High School- it just goes way too fast! God bless you!

  431. I applaud you for being an awesome dad and, when my husband and I have kids, he will be right there with you! No shame in being a father who cares about building a relationship with their children. I didn’t grow up with that so I will make sure my kids do.

    Go you! 🙂 (And all the dads out there like you)

  432. Forget the haters, with an attitude like this your kids will always think your awesome. From one who saw this pic and squeezed from aus, love the lovin dads!!!!! 🙂

  433. I think the photo is adorable. It made me smile. 🙂

  434. Rollan Lissell says:

    As a guy who dreamt as a child that I could live in a quiet happy town, working day and night on my next novel at home with a healthy, energetic little girl helping me do the dishes or sweep the living room as a surprise for my wife when she comes home from where ever she chooses to work, I really do hope that stay-at-home dad’s can be a little more acceptable around the time I get to kids. (19 years old here. Still too early for even planning kids.) Getting poked fun at or laughed at was fine when I was 12, but I don’t want to go around getting that same treatment when I take my 12 year old to her next soccer game or ballet practice or whatever she wants to do with her life.

  435. Great article. When men leave their wan hangups at the door, women will be free.

  436. You’re the bomb.

  437. Loved the blog post, i can’t believe how ridiculous people can be to post stupid comments. We have predicaments like this in our house all the time, its great fun!!

  438. I saw the picture and smiled, thought ‘good dad’ then was surprised by the caption. Never occurred to me anyone could see anything negative in this. Some people are idiots – just phase them out.

  439. My hats off to the dad doing great! I was left with a 4 month old, and a 22 month old, both girls. They are both teenage young women now. I’m remarried now, but before that, there were years where I had to do it all, so I know what it’s like. Here’s a man doing it because he wants too! Not that I didn’t want too! But I had too! It was stressfull at times, but I would trade that time for nothing in the world!
    Those ignorant people with their ignorant comments, don’t deserve the time to even read, or comment on their stupidity!

  440. this and that says:

    I hate to say it ! There are some sick brothers and sisters out here..I am the grandmother of 5 mixed race kids.The white kids don;t bother the kids its the black kids try to pull out the girls hair lord let me tell you .and the spanish that push and try to dig there nails in the arms crap .Brother i feel your pain.Any who .Let pep talk they will any way, .Love your kids no one will but you, let the haters hate .A lot of the nasty commits let them keep talking Trust in the lord when you got jesus all the this that and the other does not matter

  441. Emily B.R. says:

    I like this not just because it’s always good to see someone being a good parent to their kids, men or women, but also because I agree with the attitude that people need to stop acting like men are so incapable of caring for children that they deserve a parade any time a guy picks up a brush. It’s insulting to men and insulting to me, personally, because I was raised primarily by my father. My worst relationships were with my mom (who had very little interest in actually taking care of me) and my step-mom (which is a complicated situation). My dad was everything to me for most of my life and I was devastated when he passed away from cancer early last year.

    The commercials I see where moms take care of everything and the dads should get a round of applause for putting on their shoes in the morning make me so angry, because it spits in the face of my father’s efforts for my entire life and somehow glorifies anyone female just for having a child, whether they take care of it or not.

    This has become more ranty than I’d like, but it is a pretty big issue. It’s a weird, twisted up version of sexism that hurts everyone involved – moms, dads, and their kids. Either men are lauded or disdained for staying home, either while off work or as so-called “househusbands,” as if taking care of your kids was something to be looked down on in the first place.

    To try and shut myself up before this goes any further, I’ll say good job for being a good dad – not just because you’re a DAD, specifically, but because being a good parent is hard and not everyone bothers – and I’m happy you and your family all seem to have such a great relationship. Just watch the ponytails! My step-mom used to topknot my hair so tightly, I looked constantly surprised. 😛

  442. MamaElephant says:

    Thank you for your post ! I forwarded it to my husband who’s an amazing papa bear and I’m very proud of him. Our son is lucky to have a dad as involved as him 🙂

  443. Its just a picture of a Dad doing his job. I get it. Thanks for expanding on the negative so we get a taste. The positive is obvious.

    • Having got my boy dressed this morning and then cycled him to playschool before sitting down at my desk – though admittedly his mum had the baby! – I say damn right, it’s a lovely photo that shows a dad doing stuff that dads ought to do.

  444. Hmmm, I looked at this picture for a good long while before reading your article (for lack of a better word). The reason I spent so much time looking at this picture (besides that it is cute) is because I was trying to figure out what could possibly make it a big deal? Through the first several paragraphs I kept going back to the picture, what am I missing, was something photo shopped, was there something in the back ground that I didn’t see? I literally went back to the picture over and over looking for something that people might be upset about. It saddened when I continued reading to read the hateful and over the top comments from people. This is just a picture of a father and his kids spending time together which is a lovely thing. Sigh

  445. OMG?! Seriously? Racism? This is just a daddy who is multi tasking like we women do ♥

    Grow up you dumb ass people who are overreacting!! Makes me sick, we are all human!

  446. I was raised by a stay-at-home dad while my mum worked back in the 80s.

    I grew up perfectly fine (Except for having a little less tolerance for the standard female drama. I get told I’m a boy with boobs.)

    EVERY father should know how to get their son or daughter ready for school, it’s part of being a parent.

  447. Many years ago after a particularly bad day at work (I had found out that my in-laws were slandering me as was a co-worker), I had to detour around the building in the opposite direction I normally took, putting me in even more traffic. While waiting for the cars ahead of me to get out onto the main street to exit the base, I looked up at the Chaplains marquee which read, “You can’t help what other people think. You can only keep them from being right.” Those words have stuck with me for the last 20 years. I share them with anyone that I think might need to hear them.

  448. Absolutely wonderful. Your attitude is amazing on all counts. I will go to sleep having a little bit of my faith in humanity restored! Thank you for sharing.

  449. Atta MAN! Love it. Keep lovin’ your family and changing the world.

  450. Thanks for saying all these things.

  451. Thumbs up, hugs, love and kisses to great fathers! My husband is a great father. And, this post is a reality check for those who think such negative things. Let’s hope something will click with them and a life will be affected. Otherwise, keep up the good work! Well said!

  452. One of my dad’s favorite pictures is of him doing my sister’s makeup before her dance recital when she was four or five. Never mind that he did her makeup to look like a streetwalking trollop since he didn’t know how, but it’s one of those pictures that he will keep in his wallet until the heat-death of the universe.

    Love is colorblind, that’s why it needs to be extremely careful crossing the street.

  453. Udechukwu funmilola says:

    It’s amazing how people reason, I am a product of inter racial marriage my mum is ghanian and my dad is nigerian and I still get those looks .i am married to another nigerian tribe and people look at my marriage and kids and say very hurtful things.if this happens to me I wonder what it will be for children’s whose parents are of different colours.

  454. Love the warm contrast of your daughter totally concentrating on something we,as viewers, can’t see and you totally concentrating on doing her hair. A lovely portrait of relaxed parenting. Thanks for sharing.

  455. It’s amazing what jealousy and a lack of self-reflection (and self-honesty) can produce in human beings. Adorable picture, by the way.

  456. So, people are ignorant... says:

    You keep doing what you do, DW. You obviously do it well and your kids look incredibly happy. Also adorable. You are awesome.

  457. lookatyourselftoo says:

    Is it a shame that this “writer and photoposter” is offended by black people (specifically) being pointed in their comments about his wife not being of his race in response to this pic pissing him off OR is it a shame that many of us believe in and thoroughly see beauty in the black race and wonder aloud why many black men run from this believing that another race makes them more acceptable OR is it a shame that this “writer” is clearly unnerved by being asked about his race so in response the only thing he can do to make himself feel better is to quote Dr. King. These days everybody with an alternative platform quotes King…….. shame on you. EVERYBODY reading and seeing this knows well that your mother, family and friends “accept” you and her not because they’re colorblind but because………the truth will set you free bruh.

    • ironicusername says:

      What’s wrong with you? No one is judging anyone for their skin color here except you, you crazy racist weirdo.

    • Let me set YOU free…take that racial chip off your shoulder. I love when militant blacks get offended since someone decides to go ” off the reservation” and marry someone of another color. Next you’ll probably be asking for who he voted for in the last election. Who he decides to love, marry and have children with: That’s HIS and HER business, and if YOU or anyone else doesn’t like it, TOO BAD. He loves her and she loves him. Deal with it. Dr. King said to judge someone by the character, not by the color of their skin. How’s that quote for you? Or is that too radical a concept for your conceited mind, “bruh”?

      • REALLY? You are a sorry human being. He never said anything about not valuing his black heritage and ancestry, nor anything about black not being beautiful. What he said was that he fell in love with and married a woman who is half white and half Japanese. He quoted Dr. King because we ALL should have learned something from him about judging others…..and it seems to me to be especially salient for you to have learned, but obviously you didn’t.

        This post was about people, men especially, judging other men who are being good parents. On top of that, it included commentary about why people are racist or bigoted in some of the comments, especially when there is no need. Obviously “lookatyourselftoo” hasn’t left the narrow confines of his/her own world to understand that most of us are striving to be the best selves we can be, despite the naysayers and negative-nellies who exist out there…..regardless of race, gender, etc. Grow up!

    • lookatyourselftoo,

      Clearly you didn’t read the whole post or you chose to only notice the part about skin color. That was MAYBE 1/3 of his post. It had way more to do about gender. He is right about what he posted and you just proved everything he said right. It’s ignorant people such as yourself that bring up all the negative. You must have a pretty rough life to go straight to the negative. That or you’ve been practicing really hard at seeking out anything you can say that is negative. Hopefully your life gets better. You will be much happier if you choose to find the positive in situations.

    • YourSociopath says:

      @lookatyourselftoo – The real shame here is that you think that race even matters. In case you haven’t realized, ITS YEAR 2014. I wish people like you would stop looking for differences between us instead of similarities…its such a pity. We are all one. One race of man. One blood. We are all in the survival struggle together and if people could stop making it about race, religion, gender, and sexual preference for a minute maybe you could realize how truly precious and valuable each and every moment we share together really is and maybe then you would begin to understand what actually matters. Get over yourself and your race hang-ups because you’re not hurting anyone but yourself and your own closed off mind. It shouldn’t be “….thoroughly see beauty in the black race…” but rather learning to identify beauty in the HUMAN RACE. Grow up and get an education because outspoken ignorance is hateful.

    • Alex Baytchev says:

      This Dad is unnerved by narrow-minded people that pretend that they know all the right answers. You are as racist as KKK. Unfortunately the more or less normal people have to deal with all your BS too. There is good and bad people and the color is irrelevant.

      And to the Dad. Keep up the good work!

    • There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your black heritage. What he is basically saying is that this group of black people throwing out all this hatred are acting no better than the white people who once persecuted their ancestors.
      We are in 2014. No, things aren’t perfect. There is still racism. But there are many famous and non famous black Americans who are living far better than a lot of people in this country. Now the tide is turning and we are seeing more racism coming from the black community. What’s worse is that a lot of times it’s towards other black people.
      Get over it! The freedom to have these rights is what your great grandfathers and great grandmothers (who actually WERE persecuted) fought so hard for. I think they would be ashamed to see how selfishly you abuse the beautiful gift they fought to give you.

  458. I really think a parade route is in order here. Not for the good daddying, that’s what daddy’s are supposed to do. But for them guns, dayum.

  459. This is the first time I’ve read your blog and what a pleasure it is! My husband and I completely agree with you! We chose to have 5 children together and yes we made all our selves! ( you wouldn’t believe how many ignorant comments we get on that.. Oh and all were planned! Shocking too apparently!) but on top of all that, I too have a great husband that doesn’t “babysit” his kids for me but shares in raising them! One of the most outrageous things we hear all the time is, “what, he took all the kids out on his own? “. The women in the neighborhood said how amazing he was and all the men get irritated that he makes them look bad.. For what? The fact that they don’t share the same enthusiasm for taking their 1-3 children out without help or without having to be made to!! It’s such a sad reflection on what people view as a normal dads role! Thank you for setting such a great example for not only your daughters but for all men out there! As for race, why would that matter? Black, white or green being a good, involved dad should be the expectation for every color! Thank you!

  460. Truly awesome. Keep fighting the good fight. Haters gonna hate. I really appreciated your post. You have a new follower…

  461. So cute. My husband couldn’t style his daughter’s hair to save his life. Ditto my son-in-law, but at least my son-in-law will change a diaper.

  462. His kids can look back on these photos someday and say, “that’s my dad”. They will know he was there for them, which is more than can be said for a lot of people who were nothing more than a sperm donor in the creation of children, and then walked away from the responsibility (sorry, I do not mean this as disrespect to those who do donate to help themselves or others). Kudos to Doyin!

  463. Sir, I wish I could shake your hand. You clearly “get it”. You get fatherhood. You get motherhood. You get parenthood. Our society would be a better place if all parents raised their children like you two are. Congratulations!

  464. Valerie Robinson says:

    My husband and I both work. He works from home and is the “main” parent. I travel for my job and cannot be there for our daughter as much as he is. Daily, I feel like a failure because the woman is “supposed” to stay home. My husband is a fantastic father and I and my daughter are so very lucky. He never makes me feel like a bad mom. It’s my own feelings and sometimes the comments of some other mothers and fathers. But, our family is happy and doing well – thanks for reminding me that frankly, that is all that matters. Parent on!!!

  465. mizdameena says:

    awesome job dad! people will find their own negativity in anything – the world becomes their mirror of hate. stand proud, you’re doing great!

  466. Mark Arthur says:

    I stand with you and have the same dream. I am an involved dad and love my daughter.

  467. Love it. Totally read it and giggled out loud multiple times because it reminds me of my husband. We both work full time and share all responsibilities of caring for our two boys. However when it comes to cooking, shopping, packing lunches, and many of the other parental duties… He’s way better then me. 🙂 🙂 🙂 yes I’m a lucky gal and men like you and him are inspiration for other families out there. Keep up the great work and I will follow along. 🙂

  468. Now THAT’S the kind of man I look for in a future spouse. A father just like I had growing up–who would do anything for his kids! Keep on keepin on! Beautiful little ladies you’ve got there!

  469. Jim Hundrup says:

    I don’t think there are as many angry stupid people as it seems. They just get around a lot and make far more noise than they’re entitled to. Two of my lily-white daughters married black men who are very good
    Dads. I feel a bit silly even mentioning it – why wouldn’t they be good Dads? My wife and I adopted a 5 year old daughter after the other kids had grown. She worked days and I worked nights, so I got the kid off to school and was the after-school parent most of the time. I found the easiest way to get her hair in a pony tail was to part it down the middle, then gather up all the hair and suck it up with a vacuum cleaner behind her head, slip a rubber band around it and… VOILA! Perfectly centered pony tail! (and yeah, I did that for ALL of my “illegitimate” children.) Shout out to Rodney King: Well, no sir, it seems we can’t all just get along, but most of us are really trying.

  470. I did the stay-at-home dad job for 4 years and would like to still be doing it. It is, quite simply, the best job there is.
    Like others, I couldn’t figure out what the issue was with the picture so had to read your blog post. In fact, it reminded me of myself, getting my girls ready int he morning.

    Keep up the good work. Your kids will be better for it.

  471. I should not have to applaud you for doing your job, but hats off to you for putting those ignorant, deadbeat, so called “fathers” to shame and showing men what being a man is all about. As a black woman, I believe your mother did a wonderful job in raising you and as a Christian I’m glad that you see past skin color. I myself am mixed and have been able to pass for almost any ethnicity but I’m black and I’m proud. And again, young black man, rise up, stand up, and show the world that before Europe colonized Africa, we were kings and queens and we took care of our responsibilities. I am not blaming whites for the sterotypes of our people but I am educated to know where they began and I am glad you are doing your due diligence to defy them. God bless you and your beautiful family my brother.

  472. I don’t get it… what’s the issue? that you bothered to be involved with your kids lives? or that you married a mixed race woman and had cute mixed race kids? either way. good for you. Why would any one give you hell for that? You deserve a double high five for being brave enough to step out of your comfort zone. I think more people should do that. Also I like how you noted that most racist comments come from other black people. Maybe they’re so steeped in their own self hate and stereotypes that they can’t see people bettering themselves or God forbid, being a good spouse/ family man. Sad but well hurt people hurt people.

  473. I am a 20yo, happily blended, curly-haired, light-skinned daughter of an African-American man and the Caucasian woman that he married. My daddy used to do my hair, too. I loved it when he would do my hair. It made me feel really special. How many other little girls (whether they were black, white, yellow, purple, or green with envy) could say proudly when asked by the daycare employees who had done their hair in the smooth, tight, braided pigtail that graced the top of their heads, “My daddy did it for me!”. Needless to say, they were impressed.

    Please, stop hating and start thinking.

  474. But you have to understand – a picture like this IS a big deal! Because there are so many guys who DON’T lend a hand and wouldn’t bother. Your kids are lucky to have you, your wife is lucky to have you and… *shrugs* haters gonna hate.

  475. So fucking what? If those are his gf’s or wife’s kids, he’s trying to be a dad to them. I wish there were more men out there like him. People need to quit blowing shit outta proportion that doesnt need to be made a big deal out of. For realz. He can marry who ever he wants to. He loves that little girls mom. Loving a person is a natural feeling. All you haters can fuck off, because this is one of the cutest pic i have ever seen. 🙂

  476. I had to scroll back up to remind myself what “colour” the kids were when I read some of the comments mentioned in the article. Completely didnt notice and just saw a cute shot of a dad doing his daughters hair whilst carrying a baby. Super cute and such a lovely photo.

    • Alvin Bean says:

      I had the same reaction. I guess we have so many mixed families here in the south it is not something you would notice. I just saw a really cute photo and did not even think about anyone’s color. So disappointing that some people are so hateful about something so beautiful.

      Dad being in camos while doing hair was especially good in the pic. I’m sure he didn’t plan it that way, but I like it. Way to go DAD!

  477. i have a dream, too. i dream that every child will have a father as good as Doyin Richards.

  478. Al Anderson says:

    Awesome picture! Remember, haters are going to hate regardless of what you do so do the right thing. I do this for my darling daughter every morning, though she is getting bigger now, almost 10, so dad brushing her hair is getting old… Have a good new year!

  479. I have a dream that every child will grow up with a father like Doyin Richards.

  480. Rose Witte says:

    Yep, that picture is killing me with cute. I love the expressions on the girls faces. The older darling gettin her hair did is busy with something on the counter and the baby’s bright eyes peering out at the camera from the ergo is just a great shot. What I am really diggin on though is Daddy Doin Works pumped up guns. I need to show my Dh these, I want him to get a set of those! Mmmm keep it comin Good Dad!❤️

  481. I follow Single Dad Laughing and he has had some of he same responses, so many hateful that it has probably affected his health…just ignore it…it’s too bad but it is our reality. Focus on teaching your own children Dr. King’s ways, and so will we…some day we shall overcome.

  482. This is an ADORABLE picture! Anyone that can’t see that when looking at this picture is either blind or dumb. Seriously. After reading your post, I couldn’t believe the awful things people said. How ridiculous. How can people be so judgemental because of someone’s skin color?? Ugh! It’s drives me crazy! So sorry for those dumb people. You are awesome and it’s obvious you care about your family! Go daddy go! Ps, your girls are beautiful!

  483. I don’t have children. I am the “baby” in a family of five daughters. Though I didn’t realize it then, as an adult, I have realized that my father DOTED on each one of his children. Everything he has ever done in my memory was to teach, discipline and provide for us. For any grown adult – male or female, black, white, grey, etc – to look at that loving photo and make any negative remark makes my heart hurt. I would not be the strong, independent, self-sufficient woman I am now if I did not have a dad who made me know that I was loved, cherished and wanted every moment of my life. Thank you for carrying on the tradition of strong men loving their children enough to know any given day, any given moment is worth being around those kids. You give me faith that maybe someday I will want to bring a child into the world – but only with a man who is strong enough to value the love that comes with it.

  484. Brycen Edwards says:

    Sounds like you are a special person. It also sounds like those other people are scared their wives might find out men can do the kids hair and multitask while getting the kids ready. Then who knows all hell might break loose and we woman might expect our men to do it too. You are a real men and your wife is a very lucky woman.

  485. Honcho Lannom says:

    Saw this on FB and decided to visit the link – a rarity for me – and decided to offer comment.

    First off, good on you for being a good dad. As a divorced father I can’t tell you how much I wish I could have done what you are doing here. It’s pretty freaking cool. Not just that you can but that you are taking the time.
    Secondly, I am sure that some of those who made the comments thought they were being funny, while others were just jackals. I don’t know if your wife is white, black, Mexican or otherwise, but the only important thing here is the fact that you love her and your kids.
    As for your dream – I fear it will sadly remain a dream. Stupidity seems to be in our DNA.

    Anyhow, keep being the good father you appear to be…though I am sure you don’t have to reminded of that.

  486. Keep up the good DDW.

  487. I have a dream: that black men will love and support their black children and black daughters in this fashion and love and create strong homes and families with their own families. They aren’t proud until they are dating someone outside their race.

  488. First off, thank you for being a great dad! My husband is the kind of father I wish I had had, and he either gets treated with suspicion or as a hero for being, a dad.

    I find it interesting that the coloring differences in your children didn’t even register until you pointed out that people had made something of it. I had to go back and look. I’m of Arab heritage and my husband is German/English/French with a little of everything else thrown in. Our kids are gorgeous, and so are yours!

    My husband says that he didn’t become a man until he was married and had children. He loves us and would do anything for us. Men like that make such a huge difference in the world, but you are right, there are more of them out there than you’d think from looking at our media and the way men are portrayed.

  489. Excellent! By the grace of God and my good choices & honestly luck I have a wonderful husband who loves parenting! He has been wanting a child longer than I have. He has been there for me every step of the way since our daughter has been born and I can always count on him to help me and to want to spend time with his child as it should be. It is sad that we live Ina society where these attributes in a man are applauded instead of just simply thought as the norm but here we are. I can only hope that more men becoming the fathers that their children deserve. Thanks for bringing awareness to the issue and promoting (and leadin by example) good male parenting skills.

  490. my favourite line in the entire body of text: “It’s just that the dumbest ones are usually the loudest ones.” This sentence alone can be transferred into so many other situations… sports parents, schoolyard bullies, class clowns, people on the bus/subway… and on and on…

    Kudos to you, as a parent of 3 young boys I know what it’s like to strap the baby on and continue to function with the siblings (and i’m amazed at how often the baby ends up sound asleep in the process!) Am totally surprised that you would get hate from this image! If someone is trashing you for taking care of your kids, then that someone needs to seriously adjust their way of thinking.

  491. Bravo for your post. This is my first time ever hearing about your blog. But I read your entire post to my man, who is also a wonderful Black man/Awesome Dad. He combs and brushes our two girls’ hair very regularly, with love, care, and attention, and when they go to school, their teachers are blown away to learn that daddy did that. In fact, our three year old must sit at the dinner table holding onto him with one hand, while trying to figure out how to eat too. He is shattering stereotypes of Black men, creating deep, lasting memories for his baby girls, and it’s so very sexy. Keep doing what you do, and writing what you write. Let’s spread the word! Oh, and by the way, I’m Puerto Rican and we make some beautiful babies with African Americans!

  492. So proud that I can easily imagine my husband doing that! He’s a firefighter and works 24/48 hour shifts and I work 2 days a week revolving around his off days. We truly share the responsibility of parenting and he does an awesome job!

  493. Regi Raban says:

    As a father of 3 beautiful girls myself I am honored there are strong Men like yourself out there smart enough to understand how important it is to be involved in their daughters life. The ignorance of some people whether it be racist or just sheer stupidity always seems to amaze me. Keep doing what your doing for your children. The greatest moment of my life will come when my little girls grow into strong women because I was man enough to help them through their journey.

  494. CANNOT BELIEVE anyone has a problem with a man parenting his children! These girls are very blessed and will remember moments like this all their lives.

  495. jhericurl21 says:

    AmeriKKA!!! *drops mic*

  496. So, I’m part of the babywearing group on fb and I saw this earlier (or yesterday?) and thought- “Cute. We love to see daddies wearing babies” I didn’t even know there was a blog attached cuz it was that nonchalant to me. Then I kept seeing it, so I came here to see what the fuss was about. I just can’t believe so many people got so worked up about it. On the one hand, it’s great because it’s good publicity for you and for babywearing and for babywearing daddies. On the other hand, I’m like- What’s the big deal? I like your blog and it sucks you have to deal with stupid people, but look on the bright side- babe likes the ergo. I can barely get my 3 month old to stand being carried in a woven wrap, so kudos on that note 😉

  497. It’s crazy that I didn’t notice color or race. I saw love. It wasn’t until it was mentioned from your referenced comments, where I thought, “wow, how did they see that?” And yet…I still didn’t see it, color OR race. I still only saw love!! If anyone is mad at this picture, it’s probably because they’ve never felt this way. They didn’t get this love from their parents, so they were not able to give it to their kids. That’s probably why you have it in you…your mom is accepting and now, so are you. You keep doing what you’re doing and maybe one day they will see what beautiful feeling these simple actions would bring to their kids, and what beautiful feelings it would bring to themselves.

    • I could not agree more! I saw, what I assumed was a daddy, doing his sweet little girl’s hair. Even better, he’s got the little one on board, too! My assumption was that he was probably giving mom a break, or taking time to love on his kids. Haters…man, I could really do without them! Beautiful photo! And, from a “Caucasian” woman, I agree with Sandra…did NOT see ANY color….only love!!

  498. Catherine says:

    Best thing to do is be a filter. Filter out the negative asshats and keep only the positive. You are an amazing man! Keep strong! 🙂

  499. So love what this photo says about being a Dad and proving that men CAN multi-task. Trying to process how anyone can see anything negative about this. I really hope for my daughters and yours, they can live in a less cynical and hateful world. Thanks being a dad not afraid to do girl hair!

  500. I agree, putting you on a pedestal is not a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re great, if you have a clone, send him my way! I had a distant, cold father growing up and grieve to this day a relationship I wish so much we could have had. I think what you’re doing is important, not because you are super-dad or super exceptional. The fact that you are writing about it, talking about it and standing up and shouting “this is what being a good daddy is all about!” makes you special. Just like MLK, you’re not backing down, making excuses, or apologizing (as it should be). You are a link in the chain that makes being an awesome dad the norm, not the exception. Keep up the good work.

  501. Outrage. I’m sure 95% of the world gave him praise, and pretty much 100% of the commenters here. Why focus on the outrage?

  502. I smiled a lot while reading this. I mail one of the first timers here, and this is just perfect. I hope this is no big deal one day as well, but like anything the requires a wide shift in cultural opinion, unfortunately it will take time. I am grateful that involved dads are more “mainstream” than they were a couple of generations ago. Grateful for me and for my kids. Your girls are blessed!

  503. Great picture, great father, great man. My husband is a great father too and our two teenage daughters know how lucky they are and love him dearly. President Obama is obviously a great dad as well. Keep up the good work — by being true to yourself, you’re being an inspiration to others!

  504. Robb Bessey says:

    Brother (and you are my brother even though I’m “white”) you are a good man and a good dad. I remember tying my daughter’s hair up before a soccer game and one of her teammates came up and said “Dad’s don’t do ponytails!” My sweetie replied, “MY daddy does!” Great article, keep it up.

  505. Thank you for helping to change the world’s view of what makes up a successful and good man! I am so grateful that my husband is a hands-on father for my 3 children who enjoys taking care of them and sees having more as a blessing, not a burden. Keep inspiring your family and your readers.

  506. Douglas Millar says:

    Some guys just don’t know what they are missing. This man will be paid back with love and respect by his kids as they grow up, who could ask for more. I look at this photo and see a Dad with imagination and resourcefulness, brushing one’s hair while the other sleeps peacefully while close to her Daddy! I relished every minute I was able to spend with my little girl as she grew. She is now 23, and we are as close as ever. Whatever she ends up doing in life, wherever she ends up, she knows with certainty that her Daddy is just a phone call, or text, or email, or Skype away. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  507. mike wurmser says:

    I couldn’t see the picture too well so, thinking it was one of those “you’ll freak out when you see it” type of things, I enlarged it, poured over it for a few seconds and it never hit me. SOOO I decided to cheat and read the text to see what was so unusual in the pic. Never even occurred to me the vile things I read others post. Father to 4 and Grandfather of 7, I feel eminently qualified to tell the haters to go screw themselves. Your doing fine and I wish I had taken the time you taking with your kids now. Good on ya, man!

  508. I’m 100% more impressed with the post than the photo… It’s a great picture and one your kids will live to see as they grow but thank you more for the time you took to share your words. It’s great to see dads doing what they should and by that I mean showing their kids that a mans role in the family is just as important as the women’s…. Keep taking those pictures, they will be grown before you know it

  509. Boom…I loved it!!

  510. I’m certainly not a “hater”, but I do prefer seeing black families. The Black community is in need of positive marriages and families. I understand that it is not your job to live your life according to what our community needs, but I understand why you may have received some of the mail about wishing you married a black woman and had black children. With that being said, I am happy for all kids with loving parents, no matter the race. Be blessed.

    • All the crap you spewed negated the fake ass nice sentence at the end.

    • REALLY? I think that man is an AWESOME role model for young black men….(honestly…for any young men). It does not matter who he married…..he is a fantastic husband and father. Why would his family being black make this a MORE positive message?

    • Really? Did you just go there? Talk about ignorance. Love is blind no matter what color and if you cant see that I feel so very sorry for you. This is 2013, get over it and grow up!

  511. I think this picture you posted is amazing! People who say such horrible, ugly and racists things are people who are jealous or have self esteem issues themselves and they hide behind social media where there is no person to point at and blame, just a profile picture. These are the people who will not make a difference in anyone’s life and who will instead, waste their time here on earth being….well, nothing. I am so sorry that you are subjected to such hateful people….This was my first blog post of yours I read and I loved it! I shared it on my FB wall with a positive post about you and had myself a nice little rant about the people who said the negative things they said. I very rarely rant on facebook. I keep my opinions to myself for the most part, because it is important to be respectful of others regardless of their opinions on anything, and I was so mad at these people that said these things to you that I put that aside for a minute and had myself a little rant and posted it with positive comments for the picture. 🙂 God Bless you!

  512. Good job, man! When I saw this pic on, I just thought it was cute, and I could picture myself doing the same thing in 5-10 years (my wife & I have not had kids yet, but we are trying). Keep being a good father! I hope I can say the same of myself one day!

  513. This was a really good read! Funny thing is that the pic looks normal to me 🙂 bc my husband is a firefighter his hours being the way they are (24 in 48 off) HE actually might do more of this than me! Including hair and nail painting!!! It is one of the things I love most about him… He was worried about not knowing how to be a dad to girls, and he NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN! He is an amazing dad and I am so blessed that he is raising our girls WITH me!! thanks for posting this!

  514. Stephanie Carter says:

    I commend you on actually being only the handful of few good men out there that actually takes time to spend a few moments of their days with their kids.. My husband works 12 hour nights 5 to 6 nights a week, but he still takes time to spend it with the three kids we have together. 2 which are biologically his and the oldest that he has raised since he was 2 and he is 7 now.. daddy’s doing hair with their girls is a bond that need to happen to all men that way their little girls will feel closer to their daddy’s more..

  515. Keep doing what you’re doing man. Most important thing is you love your kids, all the other stuff is just noise with no meaning.

  516. I am a child of an single father. He cut my hair. He taught me how to cook. He helped me to understand why knowing how to sew is important (obviously to fix the leather seats in your 68 mustang ;), let’s face it that’s some legit knowledge). He held me when I cried. He bought my first tampons and my first prom dress. Because of his teaching I learned to be giving and loving. I learned to charish the small moments and give everything in my heart to those who do and do not deserve it. He also got funny looks, but blogs didn’t exists when he was alive so his “exposure” was much less. I applaud you for your efforts and I assure your daughter will have some of the coolest memories ever!

  517. When my kids were young their dad was doing normal dad stuff – carrying the diaper bag working with me to get the kids to step away from a party and into the car to go home. There was another dad there who bashed my husband right in front of me for helping with the kids. It was maddening. Now that jerk went on to have an affair on his second wife and had a child with his mistress – so he was a pretty low quality guy all around. But, man… men bashing men for being good husbands and fathers is just ridiculous.

    There really are more good people in the world than bad. It is unfortunate that the most vocal do tend to be the haters….

  518. I feel for you mate – As a dad, I used to take my youngest with me a lot to shops n kids movies etc. I would sit with him in the shops while we had a drink or a snack. If it was really crowded while we were walking, I would hold his hand so we wouldn’t get separated. Well the looks I got were just nasty… Frankly I DON’T GIVE A F@#K what they thought, I WAS BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT. To those f@#k wits that think it is wrong for a dad to be with his kids…GO F@#K YOUR SELVES… to those who think this photo is wrong or the RESPONSIBLE CARING DAD is BAD… Same Thing!!! Better to be a great parent than be a low-life who doesn’t care. Unfortunately there are only a few of us who actually accept the responsibility of being a “Parent” not just a “Dad”. Unfortunately we do not have the right (without being ridiculed – or Judged wrongly) to be a responsible “Parent” – not Just a “dad”. Yet if we didn’t give a rats about our children we would be ridiculed (and rightly so) So what the F@#K do you wankers want???? go get a real life and leave us GOOD DADS alone. We ARE NOT PAEDOPHILES – WE ARE GOOD PARENTS!!!!!

  519. Is this real?? I saw this in my facebook news feed. I thought it was a cute picture and didn’t understand what could be controversial about it. After clicking on this page, I am having trouble believing that so many people would have such awful things to say! I even find it hard to believe that so many people would “share” it for negative or positive reasons.

  520. My first reaction to the picture was, “He could get it.”

  521. I love the picture and I can honestly say that this daddy is AWESOME!!!!! Not for being a loving and attentive daddy (although that too is awesome), but because he is able to get his daughter to stand so patiently and let somebody brush he hair. My daughter makes hair-brushing a huge drama and more often than not wants to brush her hair herself. Kudos sir……you’re a far more patient stylist for your sweet daughter than I am with mine.

  522. Kerrie Lee Lawson Cortez says:

    So, where is the video and/or photos. Bring it on!

  523. Doyin, some of the “blacks” you think criticized you were probably not black. The ubiquitous nature of the Internet allows the cowardly bottom feeders of society in prisons, mental hospitals, their mom’s basement or at KKK meetings to post as anyone they choose while remaining anonymous.

  524. mark basinger says:

    brings back fond memories of “fixing” my daughter’s hair when she was little. she’d always want to look in the mirror afterwards to see what it looked like “this time”

  525. Your kids are beautiful and I know your wife is proud of you. My husband is black and I’m Filipino and Lord knows I get funny looks. Brush those “ignant triflin haters” off your shoulder and keep doing what you’re doing. And kudos for getting DD1s hair in a ponytail! my daughter hair is super curly and a tight, smooth ponytail would be a dream! And kudos for getting DD2 in the carrier by yourself lol (my hubby had issues lol)! You go good Dad!

  526. Not that it necessarily matters, but for the record, I am a white woman, and a mom of three small kids, and saw this picture and immediately thought nothing but, “That is ADORABLE!” I read your post and think you sound like a fantastic dad whose little ones are lucky to have in their lives. I am glad you are secure enough to know this about yourself, and I say, keep on doing your thing and being the best you can be for your family and forget all those haters. Just focus on your beautiful family and stay a wonderful, involved, supportive dad. Kudos!

  527. I think this photo is great, but I also understand why this would make Black men sensitive (I don’t care to address why White men wouldn’t like it, because I find their reasons all to obvious. I can at least debate why the brothas have a problem).

    The other brothas are sensitive because society has a nasty habit of using images like this as a bludgeon against them, so they tear it down to protect themselves from societies judgments. We attribute so much bullshit to one photo, when we know not all fathers are perfect, and not all of them are doing what WE THINK they should do, but they are fathers who are trying nonetheless. Why not just be happy instead of measuring people up. Be careful what ideals you get in bed with, as you could very well bunk up with something very classist and at times racist. Many are fighting demons of their own, and are deeply trying, but the demons got them in a choke hold. My father (and mother) was terrible, but I believed him when he told me he wanted to be a good father (they were a drug addict). Society should at least be a little understanding to the circumstances….many of us will be in hell for feeling so vindicating.

    Bad fathers come in all colors, but society definitely leans towards the Black fathers more….yea I said it. Think those thieves in Wall Street had bad fathers??? What about these cops, thumping people over the head???

  528. Great Job! Love your philosophy! Ignore the Nay Sayers, It’s so yesterday to divide lines based on gender or nationality. We’re all in this together. Better parents = better kids = better country. PERIOD!

  529. Your kids are adorable, you are a great Dad and your wife is a lucky woman!

  530. Thank you for this! I love that you are so passionate about fatherhood. Fathers, in my opinion, are (in many cases) the catalyst to a healthy, mature, and overall good child turned adult. Thank you for taking a stand against the naysayers – both my husband and I work, he more than I do, but he has never once turned down the role of caring for our child in lieu of something career-related or even just his own personal enjoyment (I chuckled at your xbox comment – while my husband enjoys his video games – he’s always put that on pause the moment our three-year-old walks in asking to play with cars..). You are a good dad, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Thank you again for setting a good example…

  531. I just wanted to say when I first saw this pic it made me want to cry. My husband and I are no longer married but one thing I can tell you is the father he was to my children when they were little and the father he is now has made our children the great kids they are today. Our divorce was hard on all of us but because I kept him in t

  532. Dude, I think you’re an awesome dad.

  533. All the hate bullshit aside. I love this guy.. Good dads kick ass.

  534. I think this photo is great, but I also understand why this would make Black men sensitive (I don’t care to address why White men wouldn’t like it, because I find their reasons all to obvious. I can at least debate why the brothas have a problem).

    The other brothas are sensitive because society has a nasty habit of using images like this as a bludgeon against them. We can’t just be happy without using it to measure up other people. They are pessimistic as a way to create a preserver for themselves against society, who thought they were full of shit long before they knew they were fathers. We attribute so much bullshit to one photo, when we know not all fathers are perfect, and not all of them are doing what WE THINK they should do, but they are fathers who are trying nonetheless. Be careful what ideals you get in bed with, as you could very well bunk up with something very classist. Many are fighting demons of their own, and are deeply trying, but the demons got them in a choke hold. My father was terrible, but I believed him when he told me he wanted to be a good father (he was a drug addict). Society should be trying to help them, or at least be a little understanding to the circumstances….many of us will be in hell for being so vindicating.

    Deadbeats are in all colors, but society definitely leans towards the Black fathers more….yea I said it. Think those thieves in Wall Street had bad fathers??? What about these cops, thumping people over the head???

    • and what exactly are the “obvious” reasons white men would not like this picture? i fail to see why ANY dad would have a problem with this photo. i respect ANY parent who is doing their best to make it work.
      this dad has a great attitude about fatherhood and family. plenty of people had shitty dads. maybe this man did. who cares? grow up. put on your big boy pants. and be the change you want to see.

  535. This blog makes me sad…people are ignorant.

    • Daniel Lynge says:

      I can agree that it’s sad that a picture like this, one where a father is helping his daughter with her hair, can beget so much aggression and disgust in the bigoted vocal minority. I see a father who loves his children, and is helping his bigger one with her hair while the little one is strapped to his chest in an Ergo (Which I Loved while my son still fit in it… Ergo carriers Rock!).
      Keep it up. Children need positive role models, and parents are the basis children pattern themselves on. I Love to see this kinda Love in action.

  536. THANK YOU!!!! From a mother who has an AWESOME boyfriend/son’s father who is not only an AMAZING father to our bi racial son But also to his “full” black children! We need more of you guys!

  537. Wow. I’m sorry some people make negative comments. I don’t see what you could possibly legitimately say about this. If anything, it just shows they are very insecure in themselves, and what they do for their children. Sad. That’s awesome though. Multi-tasking. Especially taking time off for your daughter like that. Impressive. I have a friend who works from home, and he wakes up and gets the kids ready/fed/dressed (even when his wife had a crazy injury and was out of work for like 6 months), and I was super impressed by that. Keep being a good dad.

  538. I support your dream. Cute pic.

    But can you come to my house and comb my girls’ hair? They always freak out when I try. 🙂

    Keep up the good work.

    • God bless and amen. Thank you for having the courage to stand up and be the “man” spiritual
      guide and head of your household as God designed you to be. May He continue to strenghten you
      and bless your family.

  539. My first read on your blog and I want to say thank you. I have good memories of my dad doing my hair when I want much older than your daughter. Waist length and he learned how to make an even part and pigtail braids even. It doesn’t matter what other people think because in the end the only ones that matter are your wife and girls. They have been blessed with beautiful memories and a strong man to support them through the future.

  540. What could be more beautiful than a picture of a father caring for his little girls? It takes a man to be a father — A REAL MAN.

  541. Wow. I cannot believe that:
    1. This was a big deal (very clever strapping in the lil one btw)
    2. You had such awful comments from people. I was genuinely shocked at what I read some people said.
    The only thing I was amazed by was that you were able to get her curly hair in a great pony tail…my daughter has crazy hair and it takes me forever to get it to resemble something half decent! Kudos!

  542. I’m going to have to pass your blog link along to my husband–I think he’ll love it. He’s a similar kind of active dad, and we pretty much split the childcare 50/50 (as much as possible, him not being the milk-source in the relationship). Thanks for getting a presence out there for all the involved fathers for whom this is just life.

  543. Doyin, my cousin forwarded me your blog.
    I’m a success. Not because I have a ton of money, or a big house or drive an expensive car.
    I am not a success because of my abundance. I am a success because I am an awesome father to my row amazing daughters. I am a willing participant in their lives and they know it….my wife knows it and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    Too quick are we to measure success in this life based on how much shit we can accumulate. Dads feel like they are painted into a corner because of the kid of lifestyle they have grown accustomed to at the expense of the relationships they have with their kids and spouse/partner. It’s an excuse and clearly it’s a choice. Why bother procreating in the first place? Perpetuating their own name means nothing when they are disconnected from their families and unengaged. I look back on all those disrupted nights doing the bottle feed or diaper change…some of my deepest connections with my daughters took place in the wee hours of the morning.
    Be proud of your accomplishments. Your children and probably amazing and will grow into loving, empathic human beings … pane cause of their father.

  544. People who don’t understand this experience often underestimate the role a father plays in their children’s lives. Some women are fortunate enough to have the biological father and a step-father for their children. Wish I had that for my boys. Many men are selfish and don’t step up to their obligations and responsibilities and the families and communities are not holding them accountable. That is disgraceful. Some adults are unable or unwilling to be mature and set hurt feelings aside to do what is best for their children.

    I truly do understand the desire to share solidarity with your race; but when it comes to love, well, love IS blind. Love doesn’t see that you have more or less pigment in your skin or that your hair feels different or that the oils in your skin smell different. Love only knows what the heart and soul FEEL, which has nothing to do with the color of one’s skin. Everyone comes into our life for a reason from which we learn lessons and evolve, hopefully toward enlightenment that we are all ONE and here to help one another in this experience. Who am I to deny love because of a difference in skin tone? Who am I to reject the love that was sent to me by the Universe? Who are any of us to question fate and destiny or past lives? Love is bigger than life itself.

  545. Frickin Awesome. That is all.

  546. I have a lot to say on this, so Part 1 of ??
    So, here’s what I know. I married a black man because that is who was sent to me to love; he is the one that touched my soul. We met in high school, married young, had 2 beautiful boys. He had severe depression issues and refused treatment and I was ill-equipped as a young woman to understand or deal with it. It took its toll on our marriage, so after 10 years of riding the roller coaster, I got off. I didn’t want my boys to think that how he treated me in his cycles was healthy or right. We got divorced and a month later, he killed himself. I always thought I could love him enough and that he would never do that because of our babies. I was wrong.

    I raised my boys on my own, and I did a DAMN fine job. I am proud of them. They are emotionally stable, well-adjusted, healthy, strong, creative, funny, wonderful young black men and it is important to me that they honor their heritage and who they are. They look like their daddy and they have some of his behaviors, tastes and characteristics, even though he wasn’t there most of their lives. However, I would trade various body parts to have him here and involved in their lives. Although I know he’s watching out for them and is proud from a spiritual place, my heart has been broken now every day for 14 years, 9 months and 22 days and will be broken for the rest of my life. I never found a suitable male that was worthy of being their step-father. I wanted that so badly for them. I wanted so much for them to have a male figure that taught them the things dads teach little boys: love, respect and pride – to name a few. Yes, I taught them those things but it’s just not the same. I had to trade off more of the mommy role and assume more of the daddy role. Would I change it if I could? Yes. In a heart beat. Because, skin color doesn’t matter when their father is dead. What matters is his lack of presence and that has no color.

  547. You just ROCK! I love what you’ve written. Love how you parent. You should be celebrated, but yeah, dead right: we should also live in a world where a dad staying involved in the day to day of his kids’s lives should be the norm, not some big friggin’ firestorm of crazy talk and surprised admiration.

  548. How wonderful to see a loving father enjoying time with his beautiful children. God bless you and your family

  549. Wow, I looked at the picture and couldn’t see anything wrong with it. After reading the commentary I still can’t see anything wrong with it. It’s a picture of a dad doing dad things. End of story.

  550. Oh…and P.S. 20 years from now when those babies are off in college, you might even forget this post and the reactions from it. But those girls of yours will remember the love you have for them and the care you showed them every single day. They will be calling you late at night for a word of encouragement after a bad breakup or a stressful test. You are building a lifetime of love with those girls, and that is what matters. I would not trade the relationship my husband has with my 19 yr old daughter for anything…and looking back- it grew in the little moments, like respecting her wife enough to help her get out the door, and taking the time to do her hair. You showed her how a man should treat her when she is a grown women–that a husband should honor her passions, career, job as high as his own..and that kids are important to hold and care for. That is the kind of in and out daily multitasking that will grow your daughter into a healthy woman, wife, and mother herself.

  551. People are just jealous. As a busy married working mom-What did I notice first? “Aw how cute he’s doin’ his daughter’s hair!” And before I read the article or the controversy- I noticed the white something on your shirt- at first glance I thought it looked like some makeshift hook that you made to make the mom sized baby sling fit you lol. Seriously, my first reaction was- “What a good dad- making some tiny baby carrier work for him.” Sadly, there is a lot of racism in those other reactions. If this was a white dad pic, many people would’ve looked the other way- and that fact disgusts me. I honestly didn’t even notice that your kids had a bit lighter skin coloring, because as a public school teacher, I see many families where the kids don’t look exactly like their parents. It is not something I even notice much, and to be honest, the kids in my school don’t notice it much in each other either! We have so many biracial kids and adopted kids from mixed families these days. The good news is, I see most kids today as much more open and completely unaware of the racism in the grownups’ lives around them.

  552. Had this been a woman, it would have been “Hey, great way to multitask.”

    You, sir, are the epitome of a great father. Kudos.

  553. When my wife first showed me the picture, I said, “Yeah, so what? I did that yesterday.” I wore the Ergo with both kids. I do my daughter’s ultra curly hair. I have tea parties and rock dollies to sleep. Then she had me read the article. WTF? I had to check the calendar myself. When are people going to grow up?

  554. Kim Harmon says:

    This picture HAS to be photoshopped. I’ve never seen a little girl of that age stand so still while someone is doing her hair. 😉

  555. I just wanna say you’re awesome. I’m 27 and I still remember getting out of the shower at night and my dad brushing the tangles out of my hair and braiding it before I went to bed, even until I was a teenager. In my experience, this is what she’ll remember.

    Kudos man. Keep being an amazing father!

  556. This was our household totally one year! When Alexandria Michele was born, we realized that my husband Brian Brock’s pay check per month was the equivalent of what we were paying in daycare for her and our son Ian Brock for the month so he stayed home and cared for our home and our children for an entire year! We didn’t think twice about it and made the decision without hesitation. We also kept family and friends and THEIR OPINIONS away. I don’t think this is a big deal. I actually think that is more the norm than what gets reported and talked about publicly. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

  557. I was the sole custodial parent of my daughter since she was 3 in 1990, long before I became an attorney. The gender bias was & is horrific. Sadly the male haters who diss you validate the gender bias against dads. You are a great dad, your haters are a disgrace. Keep on blogging & God bless!

  558. This amazing! I remember my papa bear doing this when I was a child. He pretty much did everything my mother wasn’t able to do for me at the time. I was surrounded by friend’s whose fathers were not present. My father helped me become confident in who I am because of the way he loved me. I salute you for being an awesome dad! The world needs more of them.

  559. Doyin,
    Great Blog bro – The negativity is unbelievable to me….50 years ago, my (hands-on) Dad worked the swing shift and was therefore home in the mornings to take us to school. We’d get there late because he took so much time brushing my two sisters’ hair. They do remember that to this day. I would do anything for my 11-year old girl & 8-year old boy – They grow so friggin fast – You’re awesome for making time to be there – Later!

  560. When I saw the photo, before reading the article, all I was thinking was that there is some lucky woman and two blessed children out there with an awesome dad. Muscles, check. Styling little girl’s hair, check. Baby wearing, check. Without knowing another thing about you, this photo screams the kind of man most women are looking for (especially women who want families). I didn’t notice the kids were mixed or wonder about how you earn your income. You keep doing what your doing, your kids are beautiful and so is your heart. <3

  561. I admire and applaud you. TQ for raising your kids well. You and your wife.
    Thank you for being the father your children need.
    Parenting today, shape the future world. We have too many parents who are clueless, irresponsible and neglectful towards their responsibilities as parent. It is really alarming.
    You set a good example to follow.
    In my country, we are yet to hear a father will take leave to bond with his child. Family and Love is my passion and my area of expert and I am working towards creating the awareness that Good Parenting is Key in Creating A Peaceful World.
    Thank you again.
    Dr. Rose GS
    Author of A LOVE WORLD – The Time Has Come

  562. Excellent response. I am a stay at home dad since my son was two. He had speech delay and now has ADHD and is a high functioning autistic. I worked with Excel spreadsheets, taught photography and was a photographer. I gave all of that up to ensure my son had the best care and therapy. My wife is a elementary school Library Media Specialist. When asked what I do for a living, I say I am a SAHD. The looks I get are unbelievable. “That is not work” etc. Being seen with my family get the looks too “Hmm another one who married a white.” I am an Asian Indian and proud of my heritage which my wife has embraced so lovingly and a son who has a wonderful Southern family. I am at my son’s school functions with my wife and at at hers too. We embrace the fact of going to church so that my son gets a good Christian upbringing. We partake in church functions and help out. I am a Stephen Minister. I have worked hard on this marriage of 10 years. My wife was told by her parents that we would face racial issues with the family and in public. Yes we did – our first was going to a restaurant on vacation and not being served let alone being seated. I love my wife and son with great passion and we have been through a lot and no one is going to stop us from being a family blessed with love.

  563. I know a single dad who does this for his daughter. After he became a single father he reached out to other females for guidance on how to handle the care of his child’s hair because it became unruly and he didn’t like the way it was looking. He took the time to learn how to manage it so she would look like the cute little girl that she is. I give this man all the credit in the world for choosing to take paternity leave to get to know his newborn and knowing how to take care of his older child’s hair without asking before mom left for work. The stories I could tell about dad’s not stepping up to the plate when it comes to caring for their kids would CURL our hair!

  564. So, here’s what I know. I married a black man because that is who was sent to me to love; he is the one that touched my soul. We met in high school, married young, had 2 beautiful boys. He had severe depression issues and refused treatment and I was ill-equipped as a young woman to understand or deal with it. It took its toll on our marriage, so after 10 years of riding the roller coaster, I got off. I didn’t want my boys to think that how he treated me in his cycles was healthy or right. We got divorced and a month later, he killed himself. I always thought I could love him enough and that he would never do that because of our babies. I was wrong.

    I raised my boys on my own, and I did a DAMN fine job. I am proud of them. They are emotionally stable, well-adjusted, healthy, strong, creative, funny, wonderful young black men and it is important to me that they honor their heritage and who they are. They look like their daddy and they have some of his behaviors, tastes and characteristics, even though he wasn’t there most of their lives. However, I would trade various body parts to have him here and involved in their lives. Although I know he’s watching out for them and is proud from a spiritual place, my heart has been broken now every day for 14 years, 9 months and 22 days and will be broken for the rest of my life. I never found a suitable male that was worthy of being their step-father. I wanted that so badly for them. I wanted so much for them to have a male figure that taught them the things dads teach little boys: love, respect and pride – to name a few. Yes, I taught them those things but it’s just not the same. I had to trade off more of the mommy role and assume more of the daddy role. Would I change it if I could? Yes. In a heart beat. Because, skin color doesn’t matter when their father is dead. What matters is his lack of presence and that has no color.

    People who don’t understand this experience often underestimate the role a father plays in their children’s lives. Some women are fortunate enough to have the biological father and a step-father for their children. Wish I had that for my boys. Many men are selfish and don’t step up to their obligations and responsibilities and the families and communities are not holding them accountable. That is disgraceful. Some adults are unable or unwilling to be mature and set hurt feelings aside to do what is best for their children.

    I truly do understand the desire to share solidarity with your race; but when it comes to love, well, love IS blind. Love doesn’t see that you have more or less pigment in your skin or that your hair feels different or that the oils in your skin smell different. Love only knows what the heart and soul FEEL, which has nothing to do with the color of one’s skin. Everyone comes into our life for a reason from which we learn lessons and evolve, hopefully toward enlightenment that we are all ONE and here to help one another in this experience. Who am I to deny love because of a difference in skin tone? Who am I to reject the love that was sent to me by the Universe? Who are any of us to question fate and destiny or past lives? Love is bigger than life itself.

  565. I am stunned that anyone would have a negative word to say about this image.. or what you are doing to empower your daughters to love and trust a man in their future.
    And the timing of my stumbling upon this is extraordinary.
    About a half an hour ago, I got a tearful call from my 28 yr old daughter explaining how her paternal uncles tried to ambush her with a visit from her abusive father (my ex-husband).
    He has spent most of both of my daughters lives berating them, calling them everything, up to and including the C word.. (I divorced him when they were 1 and 3, because it started early).
    They have both made the decision to stop trying to earn his love, and to never see him.
    They both continue to have trust issues with men in their lives. At 28 and 26.
    Dad’s are SO ESSENTIAL in the growth of healthy woman.
    I applaud you for being that Dad.
    I wish my daughters had even half the love you show your girls.
    Big hugs, big daddy! ♥♥

  566. I too, clicked on this picture because I could not figure out what was offensive about it. All i saw was a guy with his two kids. It’s still all I see. I do not understand why people need to be hateful and petty.

  567. Troy Williams says:

    i caught this picture while going through my fb news feed. i laughed and thought it was a cute picture and reminded me of being a young divorced father of a two year old girl in minneapolis. i would put my daughter into a baby carrier similar to the one in the picture and then go out and mow the lawn. when she was a little older i would brush her hair back into a ponytail before i took her to school. so when i saw this picture, my first thought was that reminded me of myself. well…except for the fact that i’m white. so, no outrage, just a picture of a father doing what a father does. 🙂

  568. I saw this post on Facebook from someone and I only read it because the title said something about someday a picture like this won’t be a big deal. I couldn’t figure out from the picture why it was a big deal. The only thing I could think about is it was a big deal because it was a guy that apparently knew what he was doing when doing his daughters hair. That to me is a big deal. I for one would be befuddled with having to fix a little girls hair. I just have a boy. To bad others had to get nasty about it for whatever reason.

  569. First thing of yours I’ve read and all I think is that you are doing it right. Continue to raise children to be quality people and show them the attention, love, and care they deserve :).

  570. I spent a considerable amount of time looking at this picture trying to figure out the problem. Then I remembered all the time I have spent on the web reading comments posted under pictures, articles, blogs…unfortunately I can’t remember ever reading a comment thread where there were no word battles. All I can say is, in the immortal words of Metallica, the empty can rattles the most. I understand how unnerving it can be when strangers try to judge something as personal and beautiful as family time, it’s great that you have an outlet to show people how insignificant the negativity is compared to the love you have for your family. It is such a cute picture and when your girls are grown they will cherish it.

  571. You’re awesome, haters gonna hate, and those of us with more than half a brain cell know that the haters are only lashing out because of their own jealousy and insecurity. Keep doing what you do.

  572. I just have to say it brought tears to my eyes…Although he had much enthusiasm my husband could NEVER do hair! 🙂 He turned into a nice chef though. If you have haters, you know you’re doing something right.

  573. Jodi Rives says:

    Well done–but, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go right on thinking ANY picture I see of someone taking care of two kids at the same time–especially while wearing one of them–is a big deal. Being a parent is some seriously involved–and rewarding–business. Good on you–and all of us–for giving it a best effort.

  574. Thank you! My rockstar husband works nights and spends his days caring for our toddler. People give me looks or comments like it’s strange for a father and a husband to be so devoted to his family. A coworker even told me that no man wants to get married or have kids, like I trapped him into it. It’s good to hear this hopefully one day it will be the norm. Until then keep rocking the daddy duties!

  575. Message to writer of article from a white mother raising a bi-racial child with a different black man than the black man that fathered him in the most racially charged time in the last 30+ years:

    Dude, I hope my son grows up to be the kind of father you are.

  576. Having flashbacks about when my girls were that age. I worked nights so I could be with them during the day. I refused to put them in daycare. Nothing wrong with daycare but I just thought i should be with my girls. Best thing I ever did. They made me a better listener, better man but I still didn’t unlock the meaning behind the parade of naked barbies.

  577. The way it should be!!!! Oh Yeah Fuck Yeah!!!!! If I had kids of my own.. I would do anything for them!!! Much appreciated and props to you sir

  578. That’s not him in the picture by the way. This is a fraud.

    • I doubt this is a fraud, however, your comment goes along with the hate comments. This picture is precious, genuine, and the man taking paternity leave to learn these things rocks! If people looked at things positively, rather than negatively, life would be so much easier. I hope people really do not see his color! I had to travel to make a living and my husband did relatively the same thing, and guess what?
      He’s Hispanic! Big deal!

    • That IS him in the picture. Just check the other pictures on his FB page and you’ll see. Stop hating on a dad doing what dads are supposed to do.

  579. Chelsea Jones says:

    This is so awesome. I’ll pray for you and your family tonight. I would give anything for my daughters father to think like this. unfortunately, my love for him was too blind. I’m thankful for men like you. It reminds me that I still have a chance at love, happiness, relationships, and great memories. I am my daughters mother and father and It is hard, but your enthusiastic outlook has most definitely encouraged me. Thank you…. CHELSEA JONES.

  580. I read your article to find out what in that pic created conflict. Looked like a perfectly sweet pic to me. Had to scroll back up for another look to see the different skin shades. Guess I’m outta touch. Glad you’re not 🙂

    Blessings, gail

  581. Dennis Reilly says:

    I can not believe the amount of hate mail you got from that one picture! Shame on them! Good on you.

  582. I saw nothing wrong in that picture, in fact I saw a wonderful father! It’s amazing how racist people can be. I never even noticed that your children didn’t have the same skin or features as you! Keep up the great work and remember to watermark your pictures of your beautiful family!

  583. I just read this blog down here in Australia, and two big thumbs up to you dude (no not my thumbs, mine are petite lol), There are always going to be haters, no matter what you do. Usually for the simple reason, they aren’t man enough to do what you are doing and celebrating it with all to see. As for the underlyind racial hate mail, well they are usually from uneducated, ignorant people who are intolerant of everything.
    Keep just doing you, because you are AWESOME!!! Keep up the good work.

  584. Great post, great picture, great job Dad!

  585. I love this picture and congratulate you on the right attitude to being a parent. In the end, your work will pay off with a much closer relationship to your daughters. Wins all around. I’d also like to give your wife a pat on the back. She is secure enough to “allow” you to take on full parenting responsibility. Yes, men need to step up, and it’s far past when this should be normal. But women need to get out of their way, as well. Every great dad I know has a wife who is not threatened when a child runs to dad as easily as mom.

  586. Okay, okay, I won’t plan a parade route for you based on that photo.

    …I’m gonna plan a parade route for your based on this blog post, though!
    YOU ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!

  587. Miranda Waddill says:

    Kudos for an awesome picture and an awesome, well spoken article – wouldn’t change a word of your rant! The only big deal I noticed was the nice bicep. The only hate I have is how easy you are makin’ it look. (My husband does the same thing when I leave the kids with him – he throws the kids in a wagon behind the riding lawn mower and gets the yard cut!) Glad you are enjoying your kids now, they won’t be little for long. You seem to be a wise and confident man. May God Bless you and your family. From a white married Mom.

  588. GracieLou says:

    Boom… loves it. Ha, my husband says that as well after making a true “boo-yah” point. Your passion for being a good man (i.e. – husband, dad, human, etc) is awesome… very reminiscent of my own man. You guys are a rare breed! I’m completely liking how you say one day you hope what you’re doing (which is essentially caring for your children) will not be seen as a “big deal.” I get that. Those are things that should already be a given. It shows you’re not looking for some kind of praise. You’re simply doing things for which you’re responsible, and are trying to encourage same actions by sharing your experiences. I hope those men who are hating will one day just chill and have an open mind if/when there is room for improvement on their part… especially if it’s regarding being a d-bag about you marrying outside of your race. I’m an Indonesian lady and I married an unbelievably amazing Black man. Love sees no color, how hard is it to grasp that concept? Keep sharing your experiences in life 🙂

  589. You are awesome! An example for daddies and mommies everywhere!

  590. Brendan D says:

    Love it or hate it, there is a term for people like you.

    Role model.

  591. Fuck those haters. You are clearly awesome. I wish I had had a dad like you!

  592. You, good sir, just got yourself a new follower/reader. You are truly an inspiration for many men 🙂

  593. I was so confused, trying to understand what the outcry was over – the position of the baby? Maybe the baby was inadvertently in danger of suffocating? Were there hot curlers I didn’t notice (my girls don’t use them, so the concept is lost to me usually) that were threatening the kids with burns?

    Wait, what? A guy getting his kids ready is grounds for hate mail? I suck in this department (my shine is elsewhere, I swear), but – wow. Crazy.