With sequels like these, half of the entertainment is who goes with you to the show
Pixar has done it again: they’ve whored out an excellent original film and subjugated it to a sequel. I really should blame Disney, Daddy of Pixar, which shits out sequels so fast it hasn’t made an animated film with a definitive ending since Bambi in 1942. Hold it now, I stand corrected: Google just told me there was a Bambi sequel, ingenuously called Bambi II, released in 2006 in the cinematic hotspot of Argentina before going direct to video in the more discerning United States. You’ve really come a long way, Disney.
The sequel in this case is Monsters University, or MU, a follow-up to the charming Monsters, Inc., which was released in 2001, before Disney deep-throated Pixar. One-eyed go-getter green gobstopper Mike Wazowski (Billy Crystal) coached his scare partner Sully (John Goodman) to be one of the biggest assets in converting human children’s screams into energy for the Monstropolis. The original is all about facing your fears and fighting convention in the name of what’s right. The sequel goes the other way. Like most sequels, we go back in time to the story of origin. Like Woody discovering who he was before he was Andy’s toy, like Po finding out who he was before he was a Kung Fu orphan panda, we go back in time to when Wazowski and Sully met in college, two rivals with different skill sets and different attitudes that are forced to work together in the name of plot.
Learned and dedicated, Wazowski is realizing a lifetime dream by becoming the ideal student at Monsters University, home of the famed Scare School. Only problem is that he’s drawn too cute to be scary. There he encounters Sully, a legacy from the legendarily scary Sullivan line, who is too lazy to develop his monster-given talents. For fighting during finals, they are kicked out of Scare School by the wonderfully drawn Dean Hardscrabble, who has the torso of a giant centipede and the upper body and head of a praying mantis. And she has a severe British accent. Hardscrabble (Helen Mirren) is the best part of the film, but she too is subject to redemptive cliché. Randall Boggs (Steve Buscemi), the chameleon villain from the original, is underutilized.
To prove their worth, and to win the Scare Games to get reinstated, they must team up with a bunch of monster misfits out of Revenge of the Nerds meets Animal House. What follows won’t surprise you. I’m not worried about giving anything away, whether or not you’re going to see it was decided before you read this. There’s just nothing more left to say about it.
It’s not bad, it just lacks the wit and the heart of the original, or of anything original. Roz makes a cameo, which is nice, as does Pixar lucky charm John Ratzenburger. It’s what we’ve come to expect of a sequel: nothing much.
To be fair, there are some truly awful sequels out there, so lacking in originality and so obviously made for the merchandising, that MU is not so offensive. Yes, you little blue turds, I’m looking at you. MU joins Smurfs 2, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, and Despicable Me 2 for this summer of sequels (there are 29 in all–an indictment of who we are as a culture). Really the only film genre more corruptible with sequels than children’s movies are the superhero genre, which are nothing more than older children’s movies. (Scary movies are in a league of their own—the sequels play in the trailers of the original)
Sequels for family movies, since they’re a given if the original breaks even at the box office, which is a given since the number of parents who need a break from the pool and their kids for a cinematic cat nap are at summer highs, should be half-priced. Knowing these sequels are going to suck and make us think less of the artistic team behind it if we weren’t so familiar with the motivating force of money in our careers, and not buying in to the quality promised by a full-price ticket, half-priced tickets might make sequels a whole lot more digestible. Be reasonable, movie makers, you’ll get it back on the merch, which will break after one use anyway. Half-price tickets are a gentleman’s agreement that each time you fuck me it’ll hurt a little less. But with dopes like me still taking the whole damn gang to the show, I don’t see it happening.
Thank you sir may I have another!
Overall, and since we’re in the Chicago area and Siskel and Ebert should always be honored, we gave it about four thumbs down.
My seven year old said the same thing he says about every movie. “Good.” He said the same thing about Alvin and the Chipmunks for Christ’s sake. I’ve had more enjoyable bowel movements, Junior.
Anyway, when pressed for what he liked and what he didn’t, which is the same thing I say after every movie, he rolled his eyes.
“What I liked about it was nothing, and what I didn’t like about it was everything,” he snarled. He might’ve still been sore that he couldn’t have any junk cause he didn’t eat his ham sandwich. He was hungry, which makes him surly, so I resisted the urge to serve him a hearty knuckle sandwich.
His friend didn’t say anything because his friend doesn’t say anything.
My daughter said we should’ve seen that and sprinted over to the Despicable Me 2 display. I’m sure we will. If I can get a nap in, it’ll be money well spent.
Lighten up, Francis.
Not that anyone here is necessarily interested, but this movie is also being panned on female-oriented blogs for the continuation of plot lines revolving centrally around males and the roles of females being smaller, sidelined, less important, fewer, etc. Basically, how it tends to be in Hollywood. The lack of gender parity in Monster U. echoes the rest of the film industry.
This article contains some masterfully violent sexual imagery, which is just as offensive as I’m sure the movie was, right?
I’m actually getting a little concerned about PIXAR. Their last three movies are not up to their own standards. At the same time, Disney is on a serious rebound with Tangled and Wreck-It Ralph (which was one of my favorite movies last year.)
This was a perfectly meh way to get out of the humidity for two hours, but certainly not something I’m going to remember for more than that.
Naturally, my 4 year-old loved it.
I thought it was really funny, but not up to Pixar standards. I want depth and heart from Pixar, and that didn’t happen here. Frankly, I think Pixar has become a victim of its own success and is playing it too safe. They are obviously still capable of making great film, for instance, “The Blue Umbrella” shown with “Monsters University” was wonderful.
My daughter loves Pixar Shorts–it remains her top three movie picks. “The Blue Umbrella” was visually stunning and clever, but the story didn’t live up to some of my favorite Pixar shorts, like “One Man Band,” “Boundin’,” and my favorite “For the Birds”. Still very cool, “The Blue Umbrella” was far more Pixar than MU.
I’d equate “Monsters University” with comfort food for kids. Nothing unexpected but wholeheartedly reassuring and enjoyable.
Absolutely, Vincent. It wasn’t made for adults (though the best films appeal across all audiences), and the kids don’t know the tropes so familiar to geezers like me. I can’t tell if my kids enjoyed it, but they certainly didn’t mind it.
I really enjoyed MU, saw it twice, and there were a few brilliant lines (“I can’t go back to jail!”, “Don’t think of me as your dad, think of me as your big brother who’s marrying your mom.) Will MU ever have a place in our hearts like Inc. does? Likely not, but it was well made and enjoyable.