You’re still in the process of figuring out who you are, what you want, and your great life purpose. Mix that with being in a relationship with a partner that drains you, and what you are left with is exhaustion.
I have been in that type of relationship in the past. She wanted me to be around her at all times, she needed me to pay attention to her every need and desire, and she was just downright draining.
Needing “me time” doesn’t make you a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s one of the keys to a healthy and non-toxic relationship. Here’s why.
It Allows You To Recharge Your Emotional Batteries
Would you continue using your phone even when the battery is dead? No, the phone wouldn’t even turn on — it needs time to recharge. Just like your phone, you also need time to recharge to function properly in your relationship.
Spending time alone isn’t about icing your partner out; it’s about filling up your emotional cup so your partner can drink some more.
Think about it for a moment. Are you your most patient and loving self when you’re feeling depleted? Probably not. You’d be cranky, snappish, and not fun to be around.
You’d be a much better partner when you take time to rest and recharge. You’d listen more, you’d care more, and you’d be much more present.
It Will Allow You To Rediscover Your Passions And Yourself
Relationships are about connecting with your partner on a deep level but you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your individuality to do it.
Maybe you like singing, dancing, coding, reading novels, or maybe you enjoy tinkering with cars. It’s easy to lose sight of those things when you don’t allow yourself time to remember them.
The bonus of spending time to connect with yourself means when you come back to your partner, you now have new experiences and interests to bring to the table. It will keep your relationship fresh while rejuvenating you — that’s a clear win in my eyes.
Don’t You Dare Confuse Alone Time With Isolation
Now, before you think I’m trying to convince you to turn into a hermit and hide in your shell all day long, there’s a distinction to be made.
Isolation leaves you feeling depressed, tired, and alone.
Alone time leaves you feeling rejuvenated and refreshed because you are partaking in activities that you love and that allow you to connect with yourself.
It’s very important you understand this!
You Have To Set The Boundary With Confidence
Telling your partner that you don’t want to be with them at all times can be tricky. Do it the wrong way and your partner will think you don’t love them or that you’re selfish. That’s where communication comes into play.
How you say it matters.
Reaffirm that you love them before you say you want alone time. Something like this:
Hey, I love spending time with you but I also need time for myself to unwind.
Saying it like this does two things; It reaffirms her belief that you are interested in spending time with her and it tells her you also need your alone time without making it about her.
If she respects you, she’ll respect your boundaries. Relationships are all about mutual respect and understanding — it wouldn’t work any other way.
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You can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to recharge and prioritize your well-being by taking time to yourself. Your relationship will be better for it.
It works both ways too — if your partner wants alone time as well, respect it. None of you should ever feel pressured to stay coupled up with each other. It’s okay to take a break.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash