All the Single Men

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About Mike Dunn

Mike Dunn is non-profit professional based in the Northeast (most of the time). He focuses his energies on being a loving son and friend to everyone, development work and volunteerism, and being an active participant towards positive change. Sometimes he tweets interesting things @doneanddunn.

Comments

  1. Warnning! Bad joke comming…

    My Papy use ta say,  Son…

     ”Being with a Career Women is like being accepted into a prestigious university

    Ya gotta lie to get in, 
    They’re expensive as all ta be dammed,
    & you’re always being threatened with expulsion fur not keeping up with everybody else…”

    Wait Dad if they’re so Bad Why Marry them….?

    Because Son, you’ll get to loose  WaAay Cooler Stuff in the divorce then you could’ve gotten on your own.

  2. While on the topic of honesty and fear in dating – more women have std’s than men.
    What about disclosure before hand? In many states this is felony. It should be in all.

    I would take an ugly girl over a dishonest one – for better chances of safety and she might appreciate the attention.

    • And why is that? who gives women the majority of STDs? strangely enough, it’s MEN.

      All of the women I know with STDs are married women who married as virgins and were given STDs by cheating promiscuous husbands.

      The jerks I know, remain STD free because they deliberately target women with little or no sexual experience. Men like my ex who “deflowered” at least a dozen women.

      I’m sorry John but it’s pretty offensive towards women to say you’d take an ugly girl because she might appreciate the attention. That’s pretty cruel. Truth is, an ugly girl probably won’t appreciate it – the majority will know you aren’t going for them for their looks and have been hurt so many times they’ll simply wonder why you’re going for them.

      Giving a woman a relationship/sex/anything out of pity for her being ugly is disrespectful. I will assume though by your previous posts that you’re simply trying to make a point rather than being actually serious with that comment.

      Oh, and I totally agree that it should be a felony. One thing I haven’t mentioned is, I’m in the early stages of cervical cancer from catching HPV from my cheating husband. Hopefully it’s treatable – I’m waiting for an appointment for the doctors to do the colposcopy to see how bad it is, but at this stage they think it’s not too bad, but it’s still cancer, it could still kill me – all because my ex is a cheating jerk. There is no chance I got it elsewhere – he’s the only man I ever had sex with. He deliberately had unprotected sex with dozens of women and men while we were married, while pretending to be a faithful husband.

      So yeah, it definitely should be a felony.

      Although it won’t stop some stupid people – the mistress he ended up marrying had been one of my closest “friends”. When I first found out about the cervical cancer, when I was naive enough not to know that it came from HPV, an STI, she was the third person I told. She knew he had at least one STI then, and yet still she kept screwing him. All the while trying to convince me that you can get cervical cancer some other way, that it couldn’t possibly be an STI because he’d “never” cheat on me.

      For all I know, he probably caught it from her since I know she’s a disease ridden skank anyway who has multiple STIs herself.

      • And yet you married this man. Now according to the theory of the ‘nice guy’, women can sense that a man is an asshole and thus avoid him. This is used to explain why some men never get any attention from women, and since you married this man he can’t be an asshole since you gave him attention. Had he been an asshole you would have sensed it and avoided him.

  3. Ok, the post monster got my post again. I’ll rewrite the short version:

    When I met my ex, he was unemployed and while we were dating, he could only get casual work at best. He was slightly below average looking. Looks and money didn’t matter to me. Nor did the fact that he’d use drugs briefly after his mum died but got out of that scene before we started dating.

    What DID matter, is he seemed like a nice, caring, loving, loyal, faithful partner.

    I had no idea he had a long history of abusing and cheating on women before me. I only found out about his history AFTER I split up with him, after a decade together. The whole time we were dating (18 months) he seemed to be loving and caring and gentle, with the only issue we had being his deadbeat loser druggie mates who he still hung out with. When we got married, he seemed to have a fantastic personality and good values which are the only things that matter to me.

    What I didn’t know was it was all an act. He knows he’ll never catch a woman with his looks, so he reels them in by pretending to be a wonderful caring, loving guy, and he only shows his real personality months or years later (two years in my case – 18 months of dating, then 6 months into our marriage), when he thinks he has a woman trapped.

    The woman who he was “engaged” to before he and I had even separated, thought he was a wonderful caring fantastic guy (other than being a cheat, but since her second husband had left her because of her affair with my now-ex, she didn’t have any problem with cheating, as long it wasn’t her being cheated on), but she found out the hard way – before he could even get a divorce from me, he started showing her abusive nature. The mistress he ended up marrying knows about his long violent history, because she pretended to be my close friend for years while screwing him, but because she’s a violent person herself (long history of violence against her exes), as long as he only hits other people, not her, she’s ok with it. He provides her with drugs, so the fact that he’s ugly, broke and a jerk, doesn’t matter to her.

    But for me… I had no idea of his history with women. He kept me believing for a long time that he had a wonderful personality and good values – I had no idea at all it was act that he used to lure women in.

    Some men you can tell are assholes right up, other guys you can’t. Other guys put on a huge act of being loving and caring to sucker women. Few are as skilled as my ex though. With most of the guys who are jerks but fake being nice, you can sense, but you do get a few really gifted ones like my ex who can scam anyone – and it’s not just relationships. He’ll scam anyone he can for anything he can. Money, relationships, sex…. he’ll find a way to con anyone for anything. Most people can’t sense someone who is so practiced at scamming.

    Most assholes I can pick up – far better than the average person, but he fooled me big time.

    I’ve learnt a few lessons from it – if you want to find out what sort of character a person has, look at those around them. You can’t judge a person by their friends, but it gives a fairly good indicator. My ex’s friends were mainly junkies who thought cheating and violence against women was a good thing, the brother-in-law my ex praised as being a good husband and loving father he knew was bashing his wife and kids and had cheated on his wife many times, his sister is ok with wifebashing as long as she’s not the victim and knew about his affairs and helped hide them, his mum was his dad’s mistress and his sister and half brother were born just two weeks apart, and his exgirlfriends were mostly skanks. But I didn’t know must about his family and exes until after we were married.

    This time around, I’ve had a relationship before marriage to make sure my fiancee isn’t hiding some character flaw, I’ve got to know his friends and family – actually, I’ve known his family and some of his friends even longer than I’ve known him, and I’ve interacted with them for over a decade, I know his family and friends are good upstanding citizens who go out of their way to be caring people, and so on.

    I mean sure, he could still turn out to be a jerk – you never know until you actually get married what a person is truly like – even when people live together for years, they still change at least a little after they actually get officially married.

    The reality is women CAN’T sense the biggest jerks. The reason they are such big jerks is they sucker women into thinking they are kind and caring and only when they feel they have the woman trapped, whether it be marriage or pregnancy, do they show their true colours.

    And it goes both ways. My ex has got his just desserts, trapped by a cheating abuser, because she deliberately got herself pregnant (after claiming she was infertile) and claims the baby is his. He’s already lost one child (two if you count the one he killed, bashing me while pregnant), knowing he’s not going to get another chance to be part of our daughter’s life because she hates him for blowing her off to spend time with his lovers during the weekends he was supposed to spend with her, he’s too ashamed to walk away from another child – not because he cares about the kid, but there is no way future victims of his attempts to get into their pants won’t believe that it’s all the women’s fault why he’s walked away from two kids. At the moment he can get away with lying and claiming I cut him off from our daughter – it’s not true, but it’s an easy lie to believe – but he doesn’t think women will believe the same thing happened a second time, if he walks away from this kid too.

    But not problem. I find it sad that he’s now has exactly what he deserves – stuck with a woman who is an even bigger violent, cheating asshole – I actually feel great pity for him. But sometimes karma catches up with people.

    But seriously…. most women cannot sense an asshole. If a guy pretends to be loving and caring, most women will take it at face value until he gives her a reason to believe otherwise – usually by which time, they feel trapped into the relationship. And it happens with men being suckered by female jerks – bad people are just extra good at hiding their true nature.

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Trackbacks

  1. [...] If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet I encourage you to check it out. It’s fairly long so takes a bit to get through, but is well worth the read. I’ve read it a few times already and it provoked new thoughts for me each time (there’s also a nice response by Mike Dunn on the Good Men Project titled “All the Single Men.” [...]

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