Owen Marcus wants men to know the real problem in emotionally relating to women is that it can’t be learned from women. It has to be learned from other men.
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Owen Marcus is a man with a mission. He wants his fellow dudes to know the power of micro-communities for men, especially when it comes to emotional mastery. Men, he asserts, have lost the gift of brotherhood.
Or as he outlines at his MenCorps website, “Who do you call at 2AM…when you discovered you’re getting divorced, when life as you knew just ended? Who do you call when you just got that dream job? Most of us men stopped having a cadre of close friends when we left school or the military. We promised each other that our friendships would continue… but they didn’t. How could they when your friends are all over the world?”
The solution?
Owen advocates that men create their own micro tribes of men, small, tight knit groups of guys that have each others’ back.
And just how is this different from the Iron John, or Mankind Project men’s movements? For one, the focus is on forging intimate friendships not therapeutic process.
I asked Marcus to give me the nutshell version of his message and here is what he said: “As men, we aren’t broken, bad or doomed—neither are we a pathology. We are stuck with an arcane model of masculine emotional intelligence. The way out is through using brotherhood, much like we had in the tribes. ”
He comes by his passion for male emotional intelligence honestly, Growing up with what he describes as Asperger’s like challenges to emotional literacy, Marcus has made the emotions of men life’s work.
His own men’s group is the subject of a documentary called All About Men. and he has written a book for men called Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence.
And, if you want to watch a sizzling Tedx Talk that sums it all up, here it is, hot off the You Tube press.
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Photos: Screen Shot, Tedx; Sandpoint Mens’ Group, courtesy of Owen Marcus
Hi Jules,
Thanks. Churches can be a great place for men to create a brotherhood that supports more than the normal social interaction. I wish more churches encouraged men to connect on deep emotional levels… I also wish more men’s groups did that too.
Thanks for this Lori.
I love the TEDx video.
I really think we men are literally dying today because we have this inability to connect with one another and/or others. As Owen mentioned, we instead engage in lots of self destructive behavior which only exacerbate things.
I have serious doubts about the tribal framework. I truly believe church is a better alternative. But, if you are not a religious person, the we have to find other alternatives.
Anyhow, a great and informative piece. Thank you!
This is a great article and and important topic. Thank you for it Lori and thank you especially for the TedX video.
Thanks Troy.