Giving in on the game of love, but is it the end of the story?
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Dear ladies, you win, I’ve given in.
I have been single for a while now and have asked a few of you out. I don’t know how you can tell with just one look that I’m not the one written in fates book. I must say I have no such certainty and I’ve made my share of mistakes, it’s really has been decades between dates. I have not been asking for a lifelong commitment or a proposition of illicit intent, just a few hours of company, some fun and laughs to share. I had some ideas, some dancing, an old style drive in, maybe trampolining or some snorkeling, possibly even a meal under dark sky’s while we gaze at the stars. I can really be quite creative when given half a chance, but yes needs be said before we start that dance.
Dear ladies, you win, I’ve given in.
I know confidence and leadership in partners you do seek and I’m sure to you I may look weak. Social anxiety cripples my speech and thoughts and yes it bothers me so. But I know of something you know not at all, for I have seen confident men fall. Fair-weather confidence can lead us along a golden path but when things fall apart at the seam the true measure of a man is there to be seen. You see a boy in a man’s suit is still but a boy until he is tried and tested. For when the suit is gone and he has the bravery and courage to face his battles exposed, afraid and alone a boy no more is he. But confidence is not me, for long ago I lost my suit you see. So ladies, I give in.
Dear ladies, you win, I’ve given in.
Debonair players are on your cards tonight and they have all the moves. I can’t read your social cues, you see I’m face blind and really don’t have a clue. I struggle to see friends in the night and embarrassment follows every slight. While I may not recall your faces, people I certainly see. I can read their stories, their tales, and these players are naught but ghosts looking for a person to haunt. They have no substance, no passion, just glimmer and smoke as their life they draw from you. I don’t know why you can’t see but the tale hurts to read as it slowly unfolds and I pray no damage takes hold. But sophistication is not me, for a while ago I found my spark. So ladies, I give in.
Dear ladies, you win, I’ve given in.
You lose your feet as those strong silent types come in and sweep. I’ve been strong before but for me it works no more. I’ve been strong until I shattered and life no longer mattered but I know the weakness in strength. What strength keeps out it also keeps in and those feelings will never escape from within. Real strength lies in vulnerability, a willingness to bare your heart and soul to the world. It will hurt, you will be cut down and destroyed over and over again but inside vulnerability lies resilience. There is power in knowing you will thrive, a glorious feeling of being alive and that you can grow against which no fatal cuts can slow. But strength is not me, for once upon a time I grew from my ashes. So ladies, I give in.
You see I have given in, I have given in the game of love.
It’s a fools game for those who don’t know how to live. But I haven’t given up, I found a new game now, the game I play is life, not love, and it continues to amaze and excite me. The ladies I keep watch for, yet do not seek, no longer play the game of love either. So ladies when you have given in and the unfeeling strong silent types, the debonair players or the children in men’s clothing no longer hold your interest come and join me. I will be dancing the night away for no other reason than to be caught in a moment of movement. I will gaze into dark skies wondering what lies in those deep heavens. I will be diving in oceans deep to see sunken treasures. I will be sitting in a pub looking as strangers pass by imagining their story so I can add them to my book. So pull up a seat and join me. Whether we travel together for a minute or a lifetime let us be no more than ourselves and together we can discover what life has yet to offer.
Also by Luke Davis – Why Date a Man Who Dances?
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Photo: Flickr/Cris
I also have give in… I also think that most men go for a type, that I do not fit in. I also notice women acting, strong, sexy, etc. to get a man. I can only be what I am. I am made of Present moments and cannot be what men want me to be. However, I am discovering love of life and the simplicity of not chasing anyone, just living life like a breeze of fresh air on my face…
Men are biologically predisposed to being a lot less selective than women when choosing mates, especially in the short term.
I’d be interested in knowing what actions you’ve taken to place yourself in situations to meet men.
Luke, thank you for sharing this deep part of yourself. It’s a very brave piece and how much of yourself you put in this writing shines through.
I do admit, it kind of bothers me that you assume that most women are going for “unfeeling strong silent types, debonair players or the children in men’s clothing…” and those are the only choices we are making in regards to guys.
It’s not the only choices, just the overwhelming majority…
Outstanding, Mr Davis. I salute you!
What is face blind?
Hi Lynn
I wrote about this a couple of years ago. Hope it helps
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/a-roomful-of-strangers/
I sincerely hope that the young lady who wrote the FriendZone piece which was published earlier today reads this. This is the flip side of her coin.
I’m in a similar space to you, Luke and I empathise with every word.
Coincidently we both reviewed each others articles. I agree with her article as well. But failing to ask girls out and being nice hoping they will swing around hasn’t been my problem. Having social anxiety and being faceblind pose significant problems for me. So while it’s hard for me to be confident, bravery I can do. It’s just that bravery isn’t something people always notice. I have no problem being friends with ladies I have asked out. If they have said no then so be it. I don’t call it the friend zone though, we’re just simply friends and I… Read more »
let it come to you