The Science of Love

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About Andy Bodle

Andy Bodle is a journalist, scriptwriter and blogger who has written for the Guardian, the Times, the BBC, and ABC. He lives in mortal fear that his greatest achievement will remain winning Channel 4's Countdown in 1993. You can read more on his blog, Womanology, and follow him on Twitter: @_Womanology_.

Comments

  1. My guess is because a lot of people aren’t going to like the answers to these questions so we maintain a state of willful ignorance when it comes sex.

  2. Andy…I don’t imagine that the world of human sexuality is all that confusing .It appears to be confusing because we, as humans, are supremely calculating and disingenuous. It is such a natural way to be most don’t realize their are being that way. We hide behind many veils and the more charged the subject, the more likely we are to be false with ourselves and others. Furthermore, how could anyone take Kinsey’s reports seriously since he famously contaminated his results by having sexual relationships with men and women of his team.

    The the question, “Why do women have sex?” has, outside of the confines of the frustrations of men, been seldom researched. We have just assumed that the reasons are simple and straight forward: We have sex because it feels good.and we have sex because we are in love. The latter reason is usually more attributed to how wand why women have sex, not men.

    Dr Buss and Dr Meston, sexual researchers from the University of Texas, have found at ;east 200= reasons that women choose to have sex and they found that sex is highly marketable even in marriages. According to them women use sex in a variety of ways to produce various results. To get chores done around the house,to get other favors, to get gifts, to have things paid for—There is a business that hooks up pretty college girls with “successful” men who pay for their tuition, for cars, for trips. all for sexual companionship, so please don’t say that it doesn’t or rarely happens..Clearly, there are forms of legal, culturally approved, sex for money and favors attitudes among mainstream women that is never openly discussed.
    Do women have sex for love, of course, but that isn’t the point. The point is that women have sex for many reasons,not all of which fit nicely into the preferred perception of women.

    • I figure there are as many reasons to have sex as there are people. It’s a form of communication, bonding, entertainment, reproduction, trade, etc. Religion has made it into this “pure connection always” thing when really, it could be for hundreds of reasons. It’s just not culturally allowed to be.

  3. I might add to your comment Julie that people don’t have or at least don’t demonstrate often the courage b necessary to be authentic sexually. Some responsibility;ity has to be taken by people themselves.

  4. These questions have baffled me since I entered my teens.

    It is really amazing (and unfortunate) how little sociological, psycholgical and philosophical thought has gone into trying to find the answers to these questions that relate to such an important aspect of human life.

    These questions are so thorny and surrounded by so much political correctness that any attempt to answer them is met by severe resistance.

    • I’ve noticed that its mostly women who dont like it when someone attempts to answer these questions. They become very uncomfortable and defensive.

      I think serious scientific thought is never put into answering these questions because it is feared that there will be a backlash from women. It is feared that the conclusions drawn would make women uncomfortable.

      I have also noticed that women are of the view that such questions should not be answered.

    • Tim and Herschele…I believe there is much truth in what you say. If we were to be open about this subject, because the facts don’t affirm our beliefs, we would have to reorder how we deal with each other around issues of sex. Women would have a hard time with this because having secrecy and mystery about sex works to her advantage. The facts are that for men and women, the person who has a history of having many sexual partners is more likely to be unfaithful or to have a problem with being monogamous.Biologically, men need to have some way to ensure that the child he thinks is his actually is his child, which is why paternity tests after birth should be mandatory.

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