I knew I had to break up with him; I just needed the courage to take that next step. Writing this love poem helped.
___
I wrote this poem towards the end of a relationship. The man I was dating was charming, fun, exciting, creative, and sexy. He was also emotionally unavailable, and over time, it became apparent that he was selfish and cruel. I was merely an option to him, not a priority. I will no longer date a player, no matter how hot the chemistry is.
I wrote this poem while dancing. I’d dance, stop and write, dance some more, and write a bit more. This process opened me up to a flow state. It accessed my creative unconscious, the part of me that can’t hide, the part that can’t help but tell the truth about my emotions.
I will no longer date a player, no matter how hot the chemistry is.
|
Through writing in flow, I gained clarity about just how toxic this relationship was for me. I knew I had to break up with him; I just needed the courage to take that next step. Writing this poem gave me the strength and clarity to let him go.
It can be hard to let someone go when you feel that lusty chemistry. But no relationship is worth holding onto if you don’t feel safe and trust is eroded. Chemistry is meaningless without the foundation of loving kindness and respect.
I hope this poem sparks something in you.
◊♦◊
The Last Time I Danced
The last time I danced, my body moved with the rhythm of the music
Raw. Passion. Heart. Embracing. Embraced.
Your hand on my back.
Caressing up
Cascading down
No direction known
Sweet. Warm. Hips swaying moved by song.
But I held back.
I didn’t let go. I didn’t trust.
Today, I danced and my body let go. I was free. I was me. I was dance. I was song.
The last time I danced, my heart opened, still guarding the treasure of my soul.
The deepest crevices protected in her velvet cave.
No reckless loving. No giving it all away.
Today, I danced and my heart let go. I was free. I was me. I was dance. I was soul.
I yearn to dance open, wide open.
To feel a love based in truth.
Back-and-forth-truth.
Trust.
Out of sight?
Still in the rhythm,
in the schism of the heart and mind.
To feel at peace deep in my body
To love and receive love
To love and be love
To let go and trust love
To take me to a place I’ve never been
That feels like home.
The last time I danced, my mind was present, gone, present, gone.
Fleeting, flittering, monkey-chittering.
Can he love someone if he loves himself most?
Can he love someone if giving is depleting?
Shame and regrets. Secrets. Lies. Blame.
The need to prove keeps you small, struggling, reckless, confusing.
Your passion was intoxicating, like a cool drink of wine
Then left out on a shelf and neglected, fermented.
My mind, body and heart knew the truth all along.
But I was a fool for the fun.
For the passion, for the music, for the danger.
I pushed aside my sacred wisdom.
That inner-knowing
The wisest part of me.
The last time I danced, my soul was connected (yet concealed).
She yearned to come forth, to reveal herself in her majestic glory.
To break free of the fences, the guards, the protection.
To love without bounds.
Safeguarded from careless crushing, crashing, burning.
My mind and body protected my soul.
I thank them for their wisdom.
Love is: mind-body-soul-heart
Slowly letting go, trusting, respecting,
sharing, knowing and being known,
Seeing and feeling seen.
Truth, I thank you for your wisdom.
◊♦◊
Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t love you back? What does this poem mean to you? Please share your thoughts.
___
A version of this poem was originally published on LastFirstDate.com
Photo—flickr/Farrukh