President Barack Obama, during his final rally before elections, wiped away tears. His voice was raspy but it boomed. This, to me, was not a man emotional for fear of losing his job. This was a man—whether you believe he’s been a total failure, a success or something in between—who was emotional because he cares about making a positive difference. He has faltered and he has, especially in this age of shortening attention spans and quick fixes, failed to deliver on his promises. But this all seems not from a lack of caring or of sound choices or of work ethic but out of naivety for the slow-grind that is American politics. A president cannot know what it is like to be president until he is president. Barack Obama put himself out there on the grandest stage and with the world’s hopes on his shoulders and did the best that he could. He dared, as Thomas Jefferson so eloquently said, “while daring greatly.”
Of course men crying, especially in public, is about as low as it gets in the minds of some people. At the least, it’s an opportunity to attack. Twitter certainly showcased this:
Here’s the video. Decide for yourself.
AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster
I wish that people who mock men’s “feewings” or ridiculed John Boehner would read this. But they probably won’t.
@Cameron: Agreed.However, it seems to me,that to analyze this moment outside of the context of the,dare I say it,intersectionality of culture is to read the book but miss the plot. This kind of cliff notes analysis speaks as if men are a singular monolithic structure existing outside the influences of the culture(s) which shape him,especially female culture.Everyone cries,period.It is not now nor has it ever been gender specific.Presenting it as something special when a man or boy cries versus a girl is hindering.
@Cameron: The only thing I suggested was that public behavior by politician’s is seldom unscripted. Which is a discipline Mitt Romney and his team wished they had mastered. As you wrote, whether the presidents tears were genuine or not is at best only speculation. He is not the first man of power nor is he the first president to cry in public or to otherwise demonstrate profound sadness,grief or empathy. Their is a presumption in your idea that men, unless they cry, actually fail to meet some subjective standard of caring based on a female centric model.
Dear ogwriter,
Such a presumption would be a completely crazy one…
~Cameron
I’m not American, but i get the impression from internet and social media that seems most american against obama are males, and those who support obama are females. I think its scary the gender wars came into politics, especially president election. But I’m not American, so tell me if I’m wrong. And i tell you this, most people outside US, male and female,loves Obama.
John, I haven’t read any overwhelming statistics, but I get that feeling too. In fact, I’d even say that many of the females against Obama, especially in this 2012 campaign, are so because they are in patriarchal relationships (whether with their husband or with extreme religious ideology). In regards to your second point you are absolutely correct. As an American living abroad I can say that the entire world now has far more respect and admiration for us because we reelected Barack Obama. I’ve met people from all walks of life in my travels and I’d say 99% of them… Read more »
I feel the same about Obama crying as I did when Hillary Clinton cried during the 2008 primary race, and when John Boehner cried (for reasons I can’t remember). I WANT the leaders of my country to care so deeply about it that it may bring them to tears. That’s not weakness, that’s conviction. Plus, I wonder if any of the people who jumped to the conclusion that he cried for fear of losing his job, have had to face a job loss or potential job loss before. Obviously I don’t think that’s what motivated his tears, but even if… Read more »
KKZ,
I totally agree. On political ideas I agree far more often with Barack Obama than with John Boehner, but this didn’t matter to me in the least. Seeing someone care like that, especially someone in the public eye and who will immediately come under scrutiny for publicly showing their care, is powerful.
By the way, great insight about “pathetic” and “pathos.”
~Cameron
@Cameron: And how many posts from men have stated quite emphatically that many women don’t want to and or can’t handle seeing their men cry or be overly vulnerable? Men crying in public is nothing new or magical and I would advise men to be very circumspect about showing too much emotion to their women. Women have been acculturated just like men have been to treat men who are emotional differently than men who aren’t. Your article makes no mention of this fact that men on this site have spoken of at length. Besides, the president is a politician and… Read more »
Dear ogwriter,
I agree with your assessment that perhaps women have been, just like men, acculturated on how to handle/assess men who cry. That said, it’s a BS acculturation and rather than live according to its fakeness I think we should smash the idea completely. The only way to do this is through realness.
I also agree with your comment about all political actions having to be first debated, but to suggest his tears were manufactured, in my opinion, is totally absurd.
~Cameron
Dorine,
Brilliantly said. I couldn’t agree more.
~Cameron
Obama carries himself well. There is a steadfastness about him. His demeanor is even-keeled. He isn’t easily rattled. He has class. For him to show such passion for what he believes is beautiful to me, because it gives him even more depth. I love those tears that he is wiping away. They are rare in his public life, but I’m moved that he can be so real with us. Thank you, President! And best wishes tonight.
Ditto to everything you said Dorine. Those tweets that the author chose to showcase the ever present forces trying to keep modern masculinity from revealing its true potential are truly disheartening. People (of all sexes and genders) should be able to show emotion and have it attributed to the circumstances they are in and not attributed to the excuses of sexism. That is something we need to get away from. Those were truly genuine and grateful tears of passion, not of fear of losing his job. This post is not about which candidate is better, it is about someone on… Read more »