A New York mom has been arrested and charged with child endangerment for hiring strippers to perform at her 16-year-old son’s party.
33-year-old Judy Viger of Gansevoort, New York, has been arrested and charged with 5 counts of “endangering the welfare of a child,” according to the Saratoga County District Attorney’s Office. The charges stem from a birthday party Viger threw for her 16-year-old son early last November, at a local bowling alley what involved two strippers that were allegedly hired by Viger for entertainment. district Attorney James Murphy said in a statement that “the parents of five teens who attended the party reported the presence of strippers to police,” after discovering photos of the party on Facebook. CNN reports that one of the photos shows Viger herself receiving a lap dance, and another which shows “a young male with another nearly nude dancer on top of him with her legs around his head.”
Murphy said, “As difficult as it may be for us to have to weigh in on these kinds of cases, certainly exposing the unsuspecting children to this sort of ‘entertainment’ goes beyond the pale when it comes to what is appropriate for 14, 15 and 16 year old child.” And difficult it is, considering the many different facets of a case such as this. Obviously the other parents were unaware of Viger’s plans for the party, and more than likely would not have allowed their children to attend if they had known. But in the comments section on the CNN report there are many who are lauding Viger as the “coolest mom ever.” What do you think?
When, if ever, is it appropriate for a parent to expose their teenage son to an overtly sexual situation such as this?
Do you think this qualifies as child endangerment? Why or why not?
How would you, as a parent, handle a situation such as this if your underage teenager had attended a party that was going to have strippers without your prior knowledge?
Photo: South Glens Falls Police Department
Perhaps the strippers were being degraded. I can’t help but notice the passive construction of this previous sentence. To be precise, if they were being degraded they were degrading themselves. (I assume they had free will in booking the gig.) If they were involved in a crime against women, in part they did it to themselves. Funny how it’s “society” degrading women when a woman makes a contract with other women, but it’s men degrading women when a man books them. To be blunt, not all things that are immoral should be illegal. Something should not be made illegal and… Read more »
If they were at a BOWLING ALLEY, and the strippers weren’t NAKED, (because they’re in a BOWLING ALLEY), then there’s NOTHING WRONG with any of it.
Am I just a jaded sexist jerk because I think this is a mountain made out of a molehill? Such an uncultured approach by both the mother and the police. Such a lack of imagination. Have the party at a gallery, and refer to the “strippers” as “interactive performance artists.” They are not officially sex workers, but are artists exhibiting their latest work, work which challenges the traditional distinction between subject and object through the use of human movement, inspired in part by a rich tradition of artistic portrayals of the human body. Watch as highly talented creative people challenge… Read more »
If the mother committed a crime by hiring them, then they should be charged as well. Just in the spirit of fairness, if what she did really was an unpardonable offense, then they are accessories. They are not just sex workers, if they are paid to commit what turns out to be a crime. Unless the community is *selectively* sex positive…. Oh, Wellokaythen, surely you know the default assumptions about most sex workers. Most members of the community would assume that these performers were grievously abused as children, that do this work to feed their raging drug addictions, that they… Read more »
In this case, we’re up against the unavoidable fact that the law is dependent on a specific age. In this case, we’re talking about something that seems pretty clearly illegal because of the age of the child (just turned 16), but we ought to be able to perceive some gray area here. One year later, and what she did is not child endangerment anymore. (Presumably 17 is the age of consent there.) If she hires strippers again for his 17th birthday, that may not be illegal, because by law he’s reached some sort of magical turning point. Poor kid. He’s… Read more »
All this talk of people saying these boys would learn women are only for sexuality….seriously? Are you raising children with a very low understanding of the world and terrible level of intelligence? Seeing a female stripper should never make someone assume women are just for sexuality anymore than seeing a male soldier means men are just for killing n dying. Why do I feel like I am the only one here that is giving more credit to kids ability to understand the complexities of life? I saw hardcore porn at 15 years old, I didn’t magically think women are just… Read more »
Yikes. I thought the picture above was of the stripper, but it’s actually the mom! Nice looking woman and probably one that is in a heap of trouble now.
I don’t think we know the details that could make an ethical difference in this particular case. But if I had to speculate, I’m guessing low-impact, much ado about nada – but that’s more my bias than much else.
Interesting that she too took a lap dance – very campy!
I think it goes without saying that what the mother did was wrong. I don’t know if I agree that it was child endangerment, but it’s obviously an unhealthy situation. Unfortunately, while what this mother did is really poor, I don’t think it’s that more far off the mark with how most people teach their children to relate to sexuality (or don’t teach and let the world teach them instead.) This woman in the article did it more flagrantly then the general public would. But it does seems that we socially, whether it is conscious or not, believe sex should… Read more »
“I think it goes without saying that what the mother did was wrong.”
Actually, it doesn’t go without saying, as the comments above show. If the boy is old enough to like strippers, he’s old enough to see strippers (as long as he gives consent).
Sex can indeed be bought; you equate that with ‘buying women,’ but that’s just your own (skewed) interpretation of it.
I do think it goes without saying that a mother or father purchasing sex for their child is wrong.
I never said sex couldn’t be bought. Just that I think the idea that sex can be bought skews our human sexuality. And yes, that is my own interpretation. My belief isn’t any more “skewed” then yours.
“I do think it goes without saying that a mother or father purchasing sex for their child is wrong.”
Arguable, but also irrelevant, since that’s not what happened here.
I wonder if there may be a bit of a cycle playing itself out in this family, because I just did the math.She’s a 33 year old mother with a 16 year old son, so that means she gave birth to him when she was 17, which maybe means she was pregnant at 16. I’m hoping he was her _first_ child and she didn’t have any kids before that. Maybe from her perspective 16 is the age you have to grow up fast and hit sexuality hard because you have to be prepared for it or some other kind of… Read more »
This story reminds me of a somewhat inconsequential happenstance that centered around my 11 year old son (29 years) ago. My wife and I had a house “Nanny” living in to help a family with two terribly busy adults..Anyway..she caught my son and one of his buddies perusing a couple of my “Playboy” magazines.. Being the good HYPER Christian, the nanny had a rage, kept him in his room all afternoon till I returned home..I was advised to see my son in his room and met out swift and terrible vengeance..He was in tears as he recanted the story of… Read more »
Jim, I understand that Playboys are pretty normal among men and men seem them as being pretty harmless. But I think there is a fine line between going into a rage at discovering your son is looking at Playboy and handing him a stack of your own and telling him to have at it. Did you ever have any real discussions with him about sexuality and women and how the images in Playboy are rather unrealistic? And that women aren’t products to be consumed? I am surey our son and his friends are fine men, but the reality is that… Read more »
I think youre being hysterical.
Second wave feminism is dead btw.
If you disagree with my opinion, then articulate why. Don’t simply label me as “hysterical”. That’s not right Tim. GMP is about discussion. Not put downs.
There are a couple of issues that I have with the actions taken by the local prosecutor and to some of the commentors here 1) if this 16 year old boy committed a murder or rape, there would very well be a push to have him tried as an adult, so IMHO, if a 16 year old boy can be tried as an adult THEN HE IS AN ADULT. 2) There seems to a couple of commentors who don’t really care about the possible damage to the boys but rather the possible damage to some future generic woman or women.… Read more »
It worries me whenever sexual situations involving teenagers get called things like “child endangerment;” teens and pre-teen children are different categories. It seems quite unproductive to try to completely protect teenagers from sex and deny them any right whatsoever to make choices in this area. I agree with Copyleft that it matters whether the kids knew what they were getting into, though I don’t know how bad I’d think it would be if they didn’t (it would depend on things like whether they were pressured to stay or participate if they didn’t want to, etc.) And personally I don’t think… Read more »
……
I grew up in this town. It is unfortunately a lower middle class town that, in some circles, suffers from an epidemic of bad parenting. Parents doing drugs with their children, a football coach throwing a kegger for the high school team… Consequently, this news (while disappointing) was not altogether surprising to me when it broke locally late last year. However, I hate to see the area getting such bad publicity. Despite its problems, South Glens Falls has a number of great qualities – like this yearly marathon dance that has raised over $3 million for local charities and individuals… Read more »
Oh? What was injurious to the child’s moral welfare about seeing a stripper? I’m curious what definition of ‘moral’ is being used by the law, and if that same interpretation could be used to justify shielding the child from exposure to, say, a homosexual couple. Or an atheist.
Well, would the homosexual couple be humping and faking sex acts on the child? Would the atheist? Or would the the homosexual couple be having sex in front of him? Or would the atheist be burning bibles and screaming in the face of the kid? The stripper was performing sexuality in a way (touching the child) that the child may or may not have been able to integrate, may or may not have been comfortable with, may or may not have wanted. I don’t see a comparison with exposing them to homosexuality unless they also were performing sexuality in front… Read more »
For me it’s about parental judgement and involvement in a sexual act with a minor, something we should be concerned about whether it was a boy or girl child and whether other parents had given consent.
The stripper was performing sexuality in a way (touching the child) that the child may or may not have been able to integrate, may or may not have been comfortable with, may or may not have wanted. I don’t see a comparison with exposing them to homosexuality unless they also were performing sexuality in front of kids. Was the “performing sexuality” only problematic because the adult performer touched the child? Or would it still have been bad if the exhibiting adult performer stayed like 5 feet away from the minor person, but still did the sexually suggestive movements and gestures?… Read more »
What good interesting questions. I suppose it depends on context of the performance, history around who is viewing or being viewed, and consent of the people involved. If I took my child to a pride parade and he told me how upsetting it was, and I made him stay, I think that would be emotionally abusive. If I took him to a parade and asked a drag queen to perform fake sex acts on him for my own amusement, I think that would be quite wrong yes. If I hired a gay stripper to perform on a child I also… Read more »
“Moral” is one of those terms that will have to be discussed among the jurors on the trial. It can’t be defined for everyone, as morals differ between cultures and individuals.
I agree with Julie. Being gay is an identity. A gay person’s identity doesn’t affect others. Nor do an atheist’s beliefs. Just because their beliefs and identities may conflict with your morals doesn’t mean their mere existence is going to affect you in any way. Performing sexuality towards a not-necessarily-consenting minor is a totally different animal.
Important question: did the partygoers know in advance what the entertainment would be?
If so, then the mother’s action was not only NOT endangerment, it was appropriate and praiseworthy. Most teenage boys like strippers very much, and as long as they knew beforehand what the party would involve, they had a choice in whether to attend.
I agree, would this be accepted if the teens were girls? And how strange for a mother to hang out with 14, 15, and 16 yr Olds with strippers :/ I am under no illusion that boys think of these things but to welcome strippers into your party to make it seem like this behavior is ok is just wrong, not endangerment but wrong.
How would you, as a parent, handle a situation such as this if your underage teenager had attended a party that was going to have strippers without your prior knowledge?
If I wasn’t already talking to them about sex (which I would like to think I would) it would be the time to start.
I think answering the last question — “How would you, as a parent, handle a situation such as this if your underage teenager had attended a party that was going to have strippers without your prior knowledge?” — could be illuminating. As a harsh reaction could make it more problematic for the child to choose between his hormones and his mother, while sitting will do the alleged damage. Whether or not the act of the mother is endangering, relies on parents’ reaction.
Question: the reactions of those who think this is not a big deal feel differently if it was a party of teen girls getting lapdances from adult male strippers? Would that scenario be endangerment or just a feel good time for the girls?
Question: the reactions of those who think this is not a big deal feel differently if it was a party of teen girls getting lapdances from adult male strippers? Would that scenario be endangerment or a feel good time for the girls?
I’ll reiterate that is distasteful, especially for the parents who were not in on the scheme. She was really irresponsible and inconsiderate of her guests. I can only imagine the embarrassment they had to go through in the process.
The boys would be more liberal towards the idea, however, she imposed her ideals on them before they could afford a chance ( a legal age) to make their own choice. Personally, I think she didn’t consider her guests’ rights. And on that premise, she is wrong.
Also — here is one definition of sexual abuse:
sexual abuse
n.
1. The forcing of unwanted sexual activity by one person on another
2. Sexual activity that is deemed improper or harmful, as between an adult and a minor
I think that it is a mistake to assume ‘most boys would have had the time of their lives’ — I think that is a stereotype which doesn’t serve the masses very well. As the child (albeit girl child) of parents who were often exposing me to inappropriate things — and offering up elixirs older than my own means of procurement — I would offer that it can be much more complicated than simple indulgence. There are growing studies that show that exposure to sexually explicit material on the web can be wounding to kids — why would the real… Read more »
Great comments Jennifer and I completely agree with you. I don’t htink it helps boys either to say that most boys would have a time of their lives or to say that teenage boys that sleep with adult women are “lucky”. I think these kind of thoughts are harmful to boys who might not emotionally be ready for how the world pushes male sexuality on them. And the world is pretty good as telling young boys that their sexuality should be consumer driven.
“Endangerment” is a bit of a stretch but I’d say the risk of leaving a teenage boy with this kind of view of women is potentially pretty harmful. This article states that some of these kids were as young as 14 – that makes them CHILDREN. If it been outside of a party setting this would have effectively been indecent exposure. Young people need guidance to help them understand the complexities of sexuality and to respect others. Just because the hormones and the desires are there does not mean that the maturity and understanding of sexual situations is also. This… Read more »
It is not surprising, given the politically corrected society we live in, that we have to pretend that this incident is ‘child endangerment’ It is distasteful and might encourage not so nice attitutes in young men at worst, but its far from endangerment. Far from being endangered, most 16 yr old boys wouldve had the time of their lives and accumulated plenty of masturbatory insipiration for years to come. It is only parents, mothers in particular who would think this would ‘endanger’ their sons. That is just their perspective. Not the perspective of the boys, not the perspective of the… Read more »
Far from being endangered, most 16 yr old boys wouldve had the time of their lives and accumulated plenty of masturbatory insipiration for years to come.
But that shouldn’t mean that there should no consideration for the boys that wouldn’t want to be in that position and boys who may say they want to be in that position and then suffer effects that they didn’t anticipate.
Which by the way is a consideration that is extended to girls. Why can’t boys get the same?
Danny, Maybe we are over protective of girls and mould them into more vulnerable beings than they naturally ought to be. That should be corrected instead of, for sake of equality, trying to make boys more delicate and vulnerable creatures.
Female sexuality and sexual reponses shouldnt be the gold standard for humans.
Except, in this case, female sexuality is used to gratify a 16-year-old boy. What affect does this have on his view of women? Porn, strippers, hookers, sexuality in media etc. –most of the time the women expressing their sexuality are expressing it for a particularly male audience. This is dangerous for boys because it warps their perception of girls and women to “things that must gratify” rather than human beings. This is where the idea that women must cover up their chest or not go to parties or dress a certain way (like wearing yoga pants) or ear certain things… Read more »
Yaa, it can be damaging to the WOMEN he will come across in his life.
Interestingly, whever a lucky teenage boy has sex with an adult woman, the main concern is how the women he will come across in life would be affected. And they are correct perhaps. They only pretend that the boy is traumatized and psychologically scarred for life.
Yaa, it can be damaging to the WOMEN he will come across in his life. Actually a lot of them dont even bother pretending. They just ignore the possibility of trauma in these young boys. I know there was a case in the UK a few weeks ago where a woman, while drunk, had sex with under age boys (and apparently got them drunk as well) and walked out of court with a suspended sentence. From what I could tell the judge’s rational was that the boys didn’t seem to be traumatized and that while what she did was bad… Read more »
The issue isn’t about the women. The issue is whether or not these young boys were endangered. Please for a moment, stop worrying about adult women and think about the children involved in this situation and whether or not they were endangered.
I often seen conflicting tropes in threads like this and on GMP. One is that boys will be boys and benefit from this particular kind of encounter, though based on a mother arranging it (odd) and the older dancer pushing herself physically on the boy it might feel less than consensual. But I hear that boys like it and want it and that women are overprotecting. Then I also hear how men are sexually assaulted by women, for real. And they are. And that the trauma on a young boy with a developing sexuality from a somewhat non consensual (or… Read more »
Id say being a virgin at 26 is more traumatizing for a guy than having sex with an adult woman at 16, if at all.
Oh that’s cool as long as you’re applying that to yourself or even thinking that way. The problem is when that thought grows to the point that it actually shapes legislation and the very discussion of sex.
For me personally, yes I would rather have lost my virginity at 16 vs 25. Maybe even a lil bit younger though my sex drive didn’t really kick in till about 15ish anyway.
Danny, Maybe we are over protective of girls and mould them into more vulnerable beings than they naturally ought to be. I would agree with that. That should be corrected instead of, for sake of equality, trying to make boys more delicate and vulnerable creatures. It’s not about making them more delicate and vulnerable. It’s about giving boys a way to work with/work through any delicacies and vulnerabilities that come up, IF they feel as such. Female sexuality and sexual reponses shouldnt be the gold standard for humans. Agreed. Overall what I see now is girls are over protected to… Read more »
In fairness, it should probably be investigated. It isn’t normal for a parent to sexualize one of their own children this way. It could be indicative of deeper abuse.
In all likelihood, though, this is just a single mother who wanted to prove that she was ‘cool’ to her son. Not that far off from the awkward father who tries to buy his son a hooker, really.
It actually used to be somewhat common to initiate adolescent boys into sex by either hiring a prostitute (I almost wrote Protestant) for them about this age or having them have sex with one of the maids, basically raping them. It wasn’t a universal practice but it was done in a lot of middle and upper class families in order to take away the virgin edge. Historically, there is nothing unusual about the situation.
mmm! Raping and buying the help! Lovely!
Hey LeeEsq, it was also one time perfectly normal to have African-Americans as slaves. Just because that’s how it was, doesn’t mean that’s how it should be. I don’t really care that much about what was historically acceptable. There was a lot of things historically acceptable by our society that were plain wrong and messed up.