From a GQ puff piece about GOP frontclown and accused sexual harasser Herman Cain:
Chris Heath: What can you tell about a man by the type of pizza that he likes?
Herman Cain: [repeats the question aloud, then pauses for a long moment] The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is.
Chris Heath: Why is that?
Herman Cain: Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance. [laughs]
Devin Gordon: Is that purely a meat question?
Herman Cain: A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.
Is this the new frontier in gender-policing? Are men going to be shamed for only going for a pizza with extra cheese? Is there any area of human endeavor that’s not going to get loaded down with gendered bullshit?
Also, I notice at least two trends here:
1) Manly men like big things. Big pizzas, big cars, big guns, big muscles, big penises… manliness is all about the size. I don’t know whether this has to do with the tendency of men to be naturally slightly larger than women or not, but it’s definitely a trend viz a viz masculinity.
2) Men don’t like vegetables. Men are just not supposed to be healthy, especially if “being healthy” involves eating your carrots. A green salad with low-cal dressing is not masculine, a T-bone steak is.
This whole “vegetables are sissy” thing goes beyond the ramblings of Herman Cain: you can see it in everything from the highly skewed gender ratios of vegetarianism and veganism to cardivascular disease’s disproportionate effect on men. I think it is also related to the notorious tendency of men not to consume diet products (see also: Dr. Pepper Ten and various other attempts at rebranding diet soda as masculine).
Women are, of course, far more likely to diet; women tend to be treated as sex objects, and their sense of self-worth is quite often tied to their physical appearance. As long as women feel insecure about their bodies, they can get sold all kinds of diet and exercise shit and make corporations tons of money (especially if the stuff doesn’t work and the women end up buying more diet books six months later). This means that women tend to consume more “diet” products and stereotypically healthy foods like, yes, vegetables.
Of course, if women are all doing something, men clearly can’t do whatever-it-is. So not only is dieting considered feminine, but so is the act of eating healthy food itself (entirely different from dieting, insofar as dieting is something you do to lose weight, and eating healthy food is something you do because you want to be healthy and/or it tastes good). So when women diet, men pile their pizzas high with toppings; when women eat vegetables, men eat lots of meat, especially bacon, for some reason. Bacon is like the memetic badass of foods.
Also, Herman Cain sucks. Can we just get a collective agreement on that? He sucks like a collapsing star.