Chuck Ross pieces together the crumbs of a first date going on behind him in the coffee shop where he’s sitting right now.
That was a short date. She didn’t even finish her coffee cake. It’s still sitting over on the table; if I got a new fork I could stay away from the quarter inch on the side that she was eating off of and still make a nice, healthy snack out of it.
I don’t normally feel bad for people on dates, but that’s only because I don’t see them fizzle out in real time. I know that bad blind dates are as American as the Starbucks I’m sitting in, but I mostly read about them on the internet or misremember them from my own past.
A blonde woman sat over at the table next to me, but I didn’t pay much attention to her. From my periphery she seemed decent looking. Ten minutes after arriving and ordering an espresso infused beverage and that still-there coffee cake, the guy she had been waiting for finally showed up. They shook hands and immediately grew silent.
The “so….” came too early in the conversation for that relationship to work out. She had a lisp and her bottom jaw jutted out when she spoke. I’m sure he noticed this because I could hear it.
I don’t say that to be mean about her; she seemed really nice. She even left that cake for me. But ten minutes after he got there, I noticed his strategy to set up for an exit. He didn’t order a coffee or even take off his jacket, and I heard something about his long work day almost as soon as he sat down.
When he told her he had to go she said “OK” with manufactured enthusiasm. She wanted to stay there and talk about nothing, at least until her coffee cake was done, but it was obvious that he wasn’t into her. I could tell that even without looking over at them. After wishing her a good night and shaking hands once again and saying that he’d call her, he left Starbucks with the pace of a man who had found a sack of hundreds on a park bench. I could imagine that the flesh between his shoulder blades and stretching up the back of his neck was burning with that sensation that stems from an animalistic flight mechanism.
The worst part was her reaction. Or her non-reaction after he left. She packed her things softly, with the resignation of one of those people who sell timeshares and become comfortable with rejection.
—Photo credit: M.Markus/Flickr
whatever happened to common decency and politeness? I know personally I would be far too embarrassed to manage to turn around and run away without at least having a coffee first. 10 minutes to avoid coming across as a bastard is surely worth it. ditto for women running out of restaurants before paying. don’t bloody organize a dinner-date if you’re not sure its going to go smoothly! honestly people need to learn MANNERS
(I really hate when this website refreshes while I’m typing an elegant response and deletes my entire passage… ugh, here’s a less than brilliant tribute to that note) This story has a perfect place on GMP! The author is sharing a snippet of reality that is all too real and common for both men and women. Chuck makes a great observation when he points out how the man comes in and sits down without ordering anything or even taking off his jacket, this clearly demonstrated his intentions, which were to leave after only seeing her physical appearance, showing how he… Read more »
No idea why anyone would go on a blind date. I guess it’s easy for me to say that since I have an easy time meeting and connecting with people, including women – sometimes too easy, per the Mrs.
Worse than this? Sitting in an outdoor cafe and overhearing a woman on a blind date call a friend to tell them to call their cell back in about 5 minutes so they’ll have an excuse to split when the guy gets back from the bathroom. I’m guessing she was at least waiting to finish her meal. Sure enough, the guy gets back, her cell rings, she has a shocked reaction, grabs her stuff and apologizes as she runs out into the street. Incidentally, he is stuck with the check and tip. I bit my tongue because it was already… Read more »
That’s awful too, but I don’t see an article about that being posted. I don’t like when people are publicly humiliated for the enjoyment of other people. I think it is sick.
Collin, I hate to tell you this, because you seem like a nice person, but don’t be so sensitive. Most great literature that has been written has been about this kind of stuff. If everyone had a nice day, everyday, life wouldn’t be very interesting would it? And why live life, if you don’t get a good story out of it once and a while? You don’t know these people. That lady might of skipped the cake because she was having dinner with another fellow later on. Chill.
The shame and humiliation of some random person is not a good story. It’s an awful story made doubly awful because it was written behind her back without her knowledge or consent. I’m not a fan of public humiliation for the enjoyment of others, unless the person who is getting shamed and humiliated is in on it. Sorry, I don’t find humiliating someone for the entertainment of others to be acceptable in any way, shape, or form. Teasing and shaming someone is not funny. Ever.
That’s why it’s not awful at all. No one knows who this woman is. It’s not a public humiliation when no one has any idea who was humiliated. If I saw this girl on the street tomorrow I wouldn’t chuckle and think “that’s the girl from Chuck’s piece yesterday” because I probably wouldn’t notice her at all.
In fact, the more I think about this, the more disgusted I feel about it and its very presence on this website. The ONLY purpose of this article is to make fun of her.
You’re way off. You’re trying to convince yourself that I’m making fun of the woman. It’s a sad snippet that sometimes happens to some people. I could write a piece or two about my own life experiences on this but that would be a little self indulgent.
Tell me, what is the purpose of this piece? What is the point of writing about the misfortunes of someone else? I’m not trying to convince myself of anything, you are out and out calling this woman a loser. I don’t think it is nice when it is done to men, and I don’t think it is nice when it is done to women. I object to all unfair hit jobs and this is most certainly that sort of thing. You writing about instances in your own life would have been fine, because you would have had consent to do… Read more »
Collin, As someone else said here: chill out. Are you able to watch any TV, movies, or read any books? This is a vignette which means that its not a fully formed story with a plot and a moral takeaway. It’s something that I believe was an interesting encounter and nothing more. Many of us can identify with it in some way, and we’re also conflicted with feeling sorry for this woman who we don’t know, but then we don’t really want to feel sorry for her because that would just seem to make her embarrassment that much worse. So… Read more »
I am not trying hard to do anything. I guess I happen to be the only one here who actually has a soul. There is nothing polite about this story at all. That woman is a real person, with real feelings, and real difficulties which you embellish and toy with for your own pleasure. I don’t find that to be acceptable in the least. I can think of few things worse.
Man call Charlie Sheen and see if you guys can go and get some bourbon and a few hot women. I am sure he can help you out. You need them badly.
Rejection happens to both men and women, and it’s hard to watch it, even to listen to it. That’s the takeaway. The author did a good job at bringing this out because no one is immune to it.
Moderator Note: Edited to remove attacking language
What if someone read this story, and had an epiphany: “Hey, women are people too! They can feel sadness, disappointment, embarrassment! The way I behave, the things that I do, the words that I say affect other people” ? That’s the value of all good story-telling; it gives us a chance to see the world through other people’s eyes. The NYTimes totally agrees me with, btw – http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/opinion/sunday/the-neuroscience-of-your-brain-on-fiction.html
That is a story that makes me feel sick inside. If I were to ever get a date, I imagine I would probably experience what she did many times over. I also really don’t like this article to be honest. What is the purpose of sharing this story? Does it teach us anything? Does it have a good moral of the story? Or is it merely to share the misfortune of another individual? How do you know her bottom jaw jutted out when she spoke? I don’t think you can hear that at all. As for the lisp, I actually… Read more »
Blind dates can be excruciatingly painful. To stay there when you know it ain’t gonna happen is really worse. Better to nip the pain in the bud and get it over fast. There’s just no gracious way of making something iccky into something nice.
Would you even think twice if she had rejected him?
Cuz that happens far more often.
“The worst part was her reaction. Or her non-reaction after he left. She packed her things softly, with the resignation of one of those people who sell timeshares and become comfortable with rejection.”
Guys like me experience rejection every single day of our lives and it’s treated as business as usual. We get rejected based on our looks, our jobs, our cars, our hobbies, whether we say “so” too early in a conversation…
How is this woman getting rejected any worse? This is business as usual and she should be comfortable with rejection.
The fact that it happened; I understand. I’ve been rejected a massive number of times. In fact, I’ve never been successful. With that said, I don’t think it is right or fair to use this woman’s humiliating experience as fodder for other people without her knowledge or permission. I think that is mean and unfair.
Agreed. I’m just blown away that so many people express such sympathy for:
“She packed her things softly, with the resignation of one of those people who sell timeshares and become comfortable with rejection.”
And don’t see a guy getting rejected as sad at all. It’s almost like we’re expected to be completely ok with being rejected but for a woman it’s some particularly devastating experience. I see no difference whatsoever, rejection is painful no matter who you are and men tend to experience it far far more.
Jimmy, The sex of the rejected is interchangeable. The piece doesn’t need to be a front in the gender war. I didn’t intend it that way. I could have written about guys I’ve waited on (I’m a waiter) who were snubbed while waiting for a blind date. One guy was very dejected and embarrassed, and I ended up buying his drink so that he didn’t have to stick around any longer than he had to. But I didn’t write about the guy or any other because I wasn’t sitting at a Starbucks writing on my computer while it was going… Read more »
You shouldn’t be writing about this or those things. I don’t know you, but I suspect that most self-respecting writers wouldn’t get their jollies from writing cheap hack jobs.
Damn guy, relax! What is wrong with him writing about this? You seem to be taking this personally. He IS a freelance writer.