What Women Look for in a Bachelor Pad

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About Elena Morgan

When Elena Morgan isn’t searching for affordable modern home accessories, she’s criticizing her boyfriend for his messy room.


  1. You should see the pigsties I’ve seen some girls live in.

    I work from home, and it can get pretty untidy. But the toilet’s usually clean, and at least there isn’t cold pizza and cat litter all over the living room.

  2. Copyleft says:

    Well, thankfully women never have to worry about their homes making a good impression on guys. Take what you can get, right fellas?

    • This was written directly to men, but I think you could apply this advice no matter your gender or that of your potential mate. Looking at your home with a critical eye to what is likely to make your guests want to stay is just good advice for anyone who doesn’t want to be a hermit.

  3. Is there such a thing as too clean? I grew up in a family of hoarders. Relatively neat hoarders in that the junk was in rubbermaid bins stacked to the ceiling and furniture was hanging on the wall with just paper clutter over every surface, but I’ve gone in the completely opposite direction. My apartment is spotless. It’s not a sterile environment in the sense that there is no personality, but everything has a home, and it is squeaky clean down to the little details. Good luck finding any dust on the top of my molding!

  4. ThaNks for this article, I think it’s very useful

  5. Be careful buying furniture off craigslist. People often offer it up because it’s been…used unfavorably. Bedding in particular remains a no-no in my book

    • Soullite says:

      I live near a college. Most of the stuff on craigslist here is just dorm-room stuff people don’t want after they graduate. Most of it’s in pretty good condition, too. No bedding, but usually couches, chairs, desks and dressers of all sorts. Other odds and ends, too.

      They actually keep their stuff a lot nicer than I did at that age.

      • Nick, mostly says:

        I once picked up a set of Herman Miller Eames AG chairs from a guy that was graduating. At the time they were going for about $600 each on eBay and I got the set of four for $80.

        At the same time, I’ve seen furniture that has seen far better days outside some of the houses here. I’d be wary of any mattresses – not because of the sexing that took place, but rather the alcohol-induced vomiting and urination. That stuff is hard to get out.

    • Nick, mostly says:

      Ha! I recall a blogger in North Carolina actually advertised her used furniture as the “Conception Couch” since that was where both of her children were conceived. At first she wanted a premium for it, since it would still be far cheaper than fertility treatments (pretty sure she was joking). I’m not sure what ever happened to that couch.

  6. I have to LOL about this. With more and more kids moving back to their family home or not leaving it at all, I guess the gage would be how well they keep their rooms? In my case, both my kids would have been a thumbs down. Shy of placing “enter at your own risk” sign outside their rooms, my wife and I would make sure their doors were closed when we had guests. Oh, by the way, my daughter was no better then my son in this area.

    Here are some things to watch for when a women is checking out your bachelor pad:
    1. Does she furl her eyebrows when she walks through your place? Response? “You have a head ache?”
    2. Does she refuse to give up her coat and hold on to it rather then you placing it on your bed? Response? “It’s really a lot cleaner on my bed, I changed the bedding last week.”
    3. Does she use the term “oh that’s interesting” when she looks at your art work? Response” “Yeah it is interesting, my last girlfriend gave it to me.”
    4. Lifting cushions is a no no. Response? “Careful … that’s where I hide my porn”
    5. Close it down when she suggests placing the furniture somewhere else in the room with “wouldn’t this look better if it were over there?” Your response should be something like, “oh, that’s covering a beer stain … please don’t move that.”
    6. Run the other way when she says things like “oh, you have an X-Box and a Sony Play Station?” Response? “yeah, I hope to buy a second flat screen so I can watch sports while I play videos.”
    7. Does she open the frig to check it out? Response? “I heard that penicillin can be manufactured in your own home” or “I’m taking a science course, those are experiments I’m working on.”
    8. When he shoes stick to your kitchen floor tell her “the bug spray doesn’t dry very well, any suggestions?”
    9. Before she goes into the bathroom, let her know you have toilet sanitary sheet covers behind the roach traps under the sink.
    10. If she “sniffs” around tell her “yeah, they found a dead body decaying next door … hust haven’t been able to get rid of the smell.”
    Guys, you are who you are …. Take a chill pill. Don’t go crazy being someone you think “they” want you to be. It’ll bite you in the ass because when you get married she’ll say something like. He wasn’t like this when we were dating”

  7. Soullite says:

    This is all good advice. I love that this is based around the kind of decisions people actually make, and not on the overly black-and-white style that most articles (not necessarily here, but elsewhere) tend to. Yes, show off your interests and hobbies, just don’t be obsessive about it. Be a well-rounded Person. Nobody really expects you to be Martha Stewart, but try to live like a human being. And FFS, remember your duties as a host.

    This should all be common sense, but sadly, it’s not.


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