What Women Look for in a Bachelor Pad

What does your home say about you as a potential mate?

The phrase ‘bachelor pad’ evokes images of empty pizza boxes, video games, unmade beds, and piles of dirty dishes. While these may be attractive lifestyle features for some twenty-something guys, they probably won’t score you any points with the opposite sex—in fact, last week’s dirty dishes are likely to send women running in the other direction.

So as a single man, how can you ensure that your place has that certain je nais se quoi that properly conveys both your independence and style to the women you bring home? It’s important to understand what women evaluate when they enter your man cave—and how you can respond to evoke a specific response.


Are you clean enough to be someone she could imagine living with? Is the place clean enough to do dirty things with you?

How many times have you run around five minutes before a date trying to make sure your place is somewhat presentable? Cleanliness is the main thing women look for when they are visiting a guy’s place. If you’re wondering what the big deal is, here’s the thing. How your apartment looks tells people a lot about who you are. If you live in a sty now, that’s not likely to change when you settle down and she’s asking herself if she can live amidst your chaos or worse, pick up after you. If it’s really bad, she’s probably wondering how clean your sheets are and whether or not that’s a deal breaker for some fun later on.

So what are the priority areas? You’ll want to do the dishes, vacuum any crumbs, change your sheets and make the bed, and clean up serious clutter. One crucial area you should never overlook is the bathroom—one of the biggest turn offs for women is a bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned in three months. After you’ve cleaned the bathroom, make sure you have toilet paper, clean towels, and hand soap. We’re not talking a scoured, OCD-clean apartment; just a degree of cleanliness and an adequate stock of crucial supplies (toilet paper!) that shows you pay attention to detail and can take of yourself.


Are you a perpetual man child? Are you a partyer who uses his apartment as a bed and shower stall?

While you may think you’re going for the ‘minimalist’ look by decorating your home with three pieces of furniture and nothing else, your bed, television, and couch are unlikely to convey your personality very effectively. Your apartment should showcase who you are. Women look forward to seeing the other side of you when they visit your place. Envision every woman who enters your apartment feeling like she was just granted access to some inner sanctum. She’s looking for details on who you are, what you like, and how you spend your time. These are important subtle signals into how she perceives your compatibility.

Maybe you enjoy spending time with your family or you’re a fan of a particular sports team or the Star Wars films. Perhaps you’re an avid climber or you’ve traveled to the far reaches of the globe. Show these things off! You don’t have to go overboard and fill every square inch of your living room with your Star Wars Lego collection, but your date will appreciate that your place reflects who you are. Hang up a few family photos, some of your sports memorabilia, and pull some trinkets from your travels out of that box in your closet. A little personality in your place goes a long way.


Is this a place that she wants to spend time? Do you have a sense for the comfort of the people around you?

If your apartment furnishings consist of two bean bags, an end table, and a mattress on your floor, it’s time to think about upgrading your furniture. When a woman comes to visit and there’s no place to sit or put down her stuff, it doesn’t create welcoming atmosphere. She’s asking herself two questions. The first is whether this is a place she’d want to spend time if you get more serious. The second is whether you’ve put any thought into the comfort of other people who spend time at your place. These questions lead to lots of tangential but important points: maybe you only entertain women for the night? Do you not have any friends who want to come over and spend time? Are you not able to provide the basic comforts of life for yourself? A woman wants to feel that you’re secure, that you have important people in your life, and that you know how to treat them right. Make sure your apartment conveys that message.

You don’t have to go out and spend a fortune on a new living room set; there are some comfortable and inexpensive options available at your local Ikea store. Or look on craigslist to see if you can find some gently used second hand furniture. Your date will appreciate that you’ve got a comfortable place for her to sit and relax when she visits your place. And remember: if she’s comfy, she’ll probably want to hang out with you longer.

Your place should be tidy, relaxing and reflect who you are, not make people want to run in the opposite direction. So make sure it’s clean and comfortable and you add a little bit of personality to your space. With a few simple changes, you’ll create a welcoming environment that speaks well of who you are now (and your future potential!) to the women you hope to impress.


Read more in Sex & Relationships.

Photo credit:  Machine is Organic/Flickr

About Elena Morgan

When Elena Morgan isn’t searching for affordable modern home accessories, she’s criticizing her boyfriend for his messy room.


  1. Great points–couldn’t agree more. I actually took this a step further and made a checklist of 13 specific things women look for in a “grown man’s” bachelor pad: http://www.thedistilledman.com/bachelor-pad-upgrades-checklist-grown-man/. Hopefully it can help continue this discussion. Cheers!

  2. Soullite says:

    This is all good advice. I love that this is based around the kind of decisions people actually make, and not on the overly black-and-white style that most articles (not necessarily here, but elsewhere) tend to. Yes, show off your interests and hobbies, just don’t be obsessive about it. Be a well-rounded Person. Nobody really expects you to be Martha Stewart, but try to live like a human being. And FFS, remember your duties as a host.

    This should all be common sense, but sadly, it’s not.

  3. I have to LOL about this. With more and more kids moving back to their family home or not leaving it at all, I guess the gage would be how well they keep their rooms? In my case, both my kids would have been a thumbs down. Shy of placing “enter at your own risk” sign outside their rooms, my wife and I would make sure their doors were closed when we had guests. Oh, by the way, my daughter was no better then my son in this area.

    Here are some things to watch for when a women is checking out your bachelor pad:
    1. Does she furl her eyebrows when she walks through your place? Response? “You have a head ache?”
    2. Does she refuse to give up her coat and hold on to it rather then you placing it on your bed? Response? “It’s really a lot cleaner on my bed, I changed the bedding last week.”
    3. Does she use the term “oh that’s interesting” when she looks at your art work? Response” “Yeah it is interesting, my last girlfriend gave it to me.”
    4. Lifting cushions is a no no. Response? “Careful … that’s where I hide my porn”
    5. Close it down when she suggests placing the furniture somewhere else in the room with “wouldn’t this look better if it were over there?” Your response should be something like, “oh, that’s covering a beer stain … please don’t move that.”
    6. Run the other way when she says things like “oh, you have an X-Box and a Sony Play Station?” Response? “yeah, I hope to buy a second flat screen so I can watch sports while I play videos.”
    7. Does she open the frig to check it out? Response? “I heard that penicillin can be manufactured in your own home” or “I’m taking a science course, those are experiments I’m working on.”
    8. When he shoes stick to your kitchen floor tell her “the bug spray doesn’t dry very well, any suggestions?”
    9. Before she goes into the bathroom, let her know you have toilet sanitary sheet covers behind the roach traps under the sink.
    10. If she “sniffs” around tell her “yeah, they found a dead body decaying next door … hust haven’t been able to get rid of the smell.”
    Guys, you are who you are …. Take a chill pill. Don’t go crazy being someone you think “they” want you to be. It’ll bite you in the ass because when you get married she’ll say something like. He wasn’t like this when we were dating”

  4. Be careful buying furniture off craigslist. People often offer it up because it’s been…used unfavorably. Bedding in particular remains a no-no in my book

    • Soullite says:

      I live near a college. Most of the stuff on craigslist here is just dorm-room stuff people don’t want after they graduate. Most of it’s in pretty good condition, too. No bedding, but usually couches, chairs, desks and dressers of all sorts. Other odds and ends, too.

      They actually keep their stuff a lot nicer than I did at that age.

      • Nick, mostly says:

        I once picked up a set of Herman Miller Eames AG chairs from a guy that was graduating. At the time they were going for about $600 each on eBay and I got the set of four for $80.

        At the same time, I’ve seen furniture that has seen far better days outside some of the houses here. I’d be wary of any mattresses – not because of the sexing that took place, but rather the alcohol-induced vomiting and urination. That stuff is hard to get out.

    • Nick, mostly says:

      Ha! I recall a blogger in North Carolina actually advertised her used furniture as the “Conception Couch” since that was where both of her children were conceived. At first she wanted a premium for it, since it would still be far cheaper than fertility treatments (pretty sure she was joking). I’m not sure what ever happened to that couch.

  5. ThaNks for this article, I think it’s very useful

  6. Is there such a thing as too clean? I grew up in a family of hoarders. Relatively neat hoarders in that the junk was in rubbermaid bins stacked to the ceiling and furniture was hanging on the wall with just paper clutter over every surface, but I’ve gone in the completely opposite direction. My apartment is spotless. It’s not a sterile environment in the sense that there is no personality, but everything has a home, and it is squeaky clean down to the little details. Good luck finding any dust on the top of my molding!

  7. Copyleft says:

    Well, thankfully women never have to worry about their homes making a good impression on guys. Take what you can get, right fellas?

    • This was written directly to men, but I think you could apply this advice no matter your gender or that of your potential mate. Looking at your home with a critical eye to what is likely to make your guests want to stay is just good advice for anyone who doesn’t want to be a hermit.

  8. You should see the pigsties I’ve seen some girls live in.

    I work from home, and it can get pretty untidy. But the toilet’s usually clean, and at least there isn’t cold pizza and cat litter all over the living room.


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