What are you reading on The Good Life? Here are the top ten posts this month.
I’ve never written a post like this before. I hope it doesn’t turn out like the time I emailed a list like this. Oh, the heartbreak. Or so I imagined.
I won’t even say which series it was, just that one time, I followed it up by emailing all the writers who were a part of the call, and showed them the numbers of page views for their posts. I struggled with the decision. Was it kind? Was it helpful? Perhaps it was helpful, but I couldn’t help but think of the poor guy whose article got the least number of page views. Did I cause him pain? Did I make him question his choice to write? I felt like it wasn’t entirely his fault that his post didn’t do as well as the others. There were articles that weren’t as well-written. I could have given his a stronger title. I could have made it more clear what the reasons were for reading that particular story among others.
Because it’s the flashy ones that get the attention. People like fast answers to their problems. They don’t like a slowly burning image. Or at least, they’re less likely to share the latter. For months, I thought there was no way to make a hit that didn’t have “sex” or a female body part in the title. Again, mea culpa. I can’t help it that we’re all going to zoom in on the sensory equivalent of a candy bar, but I can offer you more than candy.
Maybe it’s the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions still floating around, but many of The Good Life’s most popular posts this month have been about keeping our hands out of the cookie jar. They’ve been on the virtues of restraint, the dangers of breaking the rules, on infidelity, and responding mindfully to rage and violence.
I know the month’s not through. If you like it, I can come back in a month or so with another top ten, and I’ll pick up where I left off.
What else would you like to know about what’s new and popular on The Good Life? Let me know in the comments.
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Without further ado, and throwing some caution to the wind, the top ten for January, 2013 on The Good Life.
10. Average Size … for a Black Man: Penis Size Myths, Racism, and the Patriarchy (December 24, over 4300 page views in January)
If you thought, “But that’s a positive stereotype! What’s wrong with that?” psychologist Bill Johnson II explains how the hypersexual image of Black men contributes to racism, and harms the body images of Black men.
9. Some Dos and Don’ts for People Without Kids When Dealing with Their Breeder Friends (Published January 3, over 4400 page views)
JD Roberto has a knack for writing about parenting in a way that calls to those who aren’t currently hosting small replacement humans. This is a great example of his art. You don’t have to be a “kid person” to remain friends after your friends have kids, just a “friend person.”
8. Male Disposability 1/19 (Published January 3, around 5K page views)
It’s a secret (okay, was a secret) peeve of mine that people will comment far more than they’ll write posts. Sometimes they’ll even say, will there be a post on x? So I’ll say, there will be if you write it. Sometimes they do.
I used to think that calls for submissions weren’t going to be that interesting to those who aren’t planning to write for us. I was wrong. Readers want to know what’s coming up on The Good Life, and since the series are based on the calls, it’s the best predictor of what is to come. Occasionally, I’ll write a dud: no one will respond to the call. This topic struck a nerve.
7. Before You Cheat, 14 Things You Need to Know (Published January 15, over 5100 page views)
New contributor Rod Arters shares a list you might not want to admit to needing. One imagines he didn’t think he’d need it before he had a reason to write it.
6. I Had an Affair with a Married Man (and I Don’t Regret It) (Published January 25, over 5900 page views)
“Sandra Cliff” is the pseudonym for a woman who pursued powerful men for sex, including her boss’ boss’ boss. Polyamory seemed to work so well for him … or did it?
5. In Defense of Psycho Bitches from Hell (Published December 30, over 6400 page views in January)
Atalwin Pilon wrote last month about what he observes to be a universal phenomenon. Men tell these stories about women full of rage. What is universal about the way these stories are told, and what truth, if any, can we find in them?
4. Why Do Men Cheat? (Published January 7, over 6800 ppvs)
Dr. Bill Cloke is one of the most popular writers I work with on The Good Men Project. His experience with individuals and couples in therapy inform his posts on relationships, particularly issues that come up as a result of the differences between men and women, whether by nature or nurture.
3. Lies Women Tell One Another About Men and Love (Published January 26, over 8400 ppvs)
This one is rising so rapidly through the top ten that it’s likely to surpass #2, also written by Vironika Tugaleva, before the month is through. This is her near-tragic story of almost perfecting the art of being the “Cosmo Girl.”
2. Shame Is Why We Fight (Published January 6, over 8600 ppvs)
Vironika is fast becoming one of my favorite writers, for posts like this one. Here she explains the prevailing theories on what causes men’s violence, particularly domestic violence against women. I hope I don’t ruin it for you if I say that the patriarchy is to blame.
1. How to Deal with a Psycho Bitch from Hell (Published January 13, now with over 13,000 page views)
A follow up to his very popular “In Defense of” post at #5, Atalwin explains how can men do better by the women in their lives, and become better men in the process.
Read the latest series on The Good Life, The Disposability of Men.