What’s your strongest
football memory?
Apparently something related to America’s most popular sport and TV show is happening this weekend. I’m not a sports guy, so I’m probably going to be spending Sunday ignoring social media while I catch up on my Blu-rays, but this section of the GMP is only 95% about me. The other 5% is devoted to you, some of whom–I presume–enjoy the sport of…I wanna say kings, but I know that’s horse-racing….
I can’t actually discuss the particulars of the event, because I only barely just know who’s involved and even then only through cultural osmosis. But I can talk about the strongest memories I have associated with the sport of…knights?
TERRIBLE RAP SONGS!
That’s the end credits of Wildcats the 1986 movie based on the idea of how hilarious it would be if an attractive blond woman coached high school football. Joining Ms. Hawn are future stars Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes, years before they made magic together in White Men Can’t Jump and something less than magic in Money Train. According to the song, football IS the sport of kings, so what the fuck do I know? It was recorded in that strange era where people still believed anyone could rap because it’s just people talking over a beat, amirite? It’s the kind of effort that makes you want to kiss The Sugar Hill Gang on the lips for doing that shit right.
But if I have to guess, the real blame for the song’s creation lies at the success of the even worse football-related rap effort from the year earlier.
Strangely, the original “Super Bowl Shuffle” is nowhere to be found on YouTube and the closest you can find is a cover recorded by a group of well-known podcasters, comedians and other show business types.
Sadly, a comedic take on an inadvertent monstrosity just isn’t the same thing. But a lot of you are old enough to have been there. You know what happened. You know what it was like. Someday you might recover.
So those are my two strongest football-related memories. Do you have one? If so, try not to keep it to yourself. No one likes a Greedy Gus.
People have football memories?
1980 Super Bowl. Last seconds of the game Lambert intercepts a pass and runs it all the way back for a goal. The guys were in the kitchen. They thought it was over. I screamed for them to come back. It was SOOO awesome.