On ESPN First Take, Host Stephen A. Smith said that he looks good for a 57 year old man.
Former NFL Quarterback Dan Orlovsky asked, “Hot or not? What would you give yourself as a number rating?”
Dan predicted, “I say low 6’s.”
Stephen A. answered, “I’m a strong 7.”
Dan laughed, “The people that say they’re a strong 7, know deep down inside they’re a 6…”
Dan Orlovsky, First Take Co-host Molly Qerim, and Sports Center Host Elle Duncan all laughed out loud. Stephen A. laughed, too. I familiarly laughed out loud, as well.
Like Stephen A. Smith, I’m a strong 7. I think. More like plain 7. Possibly, 6 deep down inside. I’m 62 years old, a few years older than Stephen A. Although I look younger, only because I’m Japanese. Stephen A. is 6’1”. I’m 5’3”. I have a better hairline than Stephen A. Smith. So, we’re pretty much even. I did the quick math.
I don’t look like Hugh Jackman, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, or Brad Pitt. I am not handsome. Still, I look a lot different from the short fat ugly kid I was in high school.
In the bigger picture, for the most part, being a strong 7 made no difference in my career as a satellite systems engineer. It made no difference as an Aikido Sensei. Aikido Founder O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba was about my size, standing about 5 feet tall. O-Sensei was perhaps the greatest martial artist of the 20th century. He was one of the most significant martial artists. O-Sensei developed and created Aikido for someone his size against attacks from much bigger and stronger men. In many ways, Aikido was designed for someone like me, for my size. I’m forever grateful. In 35 years of Aikido training, I’m Godan, 5th degree black belt.
In Aikido, when the bigger stronger man attacks me, I wait it out. I enter the attack and die with honor. I match the attacker’s center with my center. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. I can let attacker pass or end the attack. The attacker chooses to take the fall or stand down. We both choose.
Under the attack, in the danger, I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. I could win or lose. The attacker could win or lose. I make my distance, make my timing. I create space, invent possibility. I let go my fear inside. I’m quiet inside. I free me. How big I am or how I look makes no difference.
On the journey to fall madly and deeply in love with a woman, who will love me back the same way, I’m not what women want. Being a strong 7 doesn’t help. I’m 5’3”. I’m not handsome. Women dismiss or use me, because I of who I am, what I look like. Being an 8 or 9 would help. That’s kind of a no brainer. Again, do the math.
Still, Ishibashi Sensei said that everything I need is inside me. When I’m quiet inside, I’m free to be me. I can invent the greater version of myself. O-Sensei said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I’m my GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) opponent. It’s me against me. In working with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression, I love my self for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I’m good with myself. I’m good enough. A strong 7 is good enough, too.
I may or may not find the great love of my life. Who knows. Lightning could strike. Like Stephen A. Smith, I’m a strong 7. We’re proud of that. I have nothing to do with what goes on inside someone else. I have a say in what goes on inside me. I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth is the path to end suffering. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not on the path to end suffering. I have a meaningful life, a life that I love. I’m a strong 7. I’m good.
