How to Accept Anxiety: A Framework for Getting Present

Why Traditional “Doing” Mode Keeps Us Stuck

Here’s an uncomfortable truth: as humans, we’re basically judgment and evaluation machines. All day long, we’re liking and disliking, wanting and rejecting, trying to control and manage everything around us. This automatic “doing” mode served us well evolutionarily – it’s part of what puts us at the top of the food chain.

But when it comes to anxiety, this constant need to “do something” about our uncomfortable experiences keeps us trapped. We try to fix, control, or escape our anxiety, which only makes it stronger. The real path forward isn’t about doing more – it’s about learning to do less.

The First Step: Getting Present

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the most evidence-based approaches for anxiety disorders, the journey starts with what Dr. Russ Harris calls “getting present.” But what does that actually mean?

Getting present means developing nonjudgmental awareness of what’s actually happening in the moment. Not what it means, not what might happen, not what you’re afraid of – just what’s genuinely occurring right now.

For example, instead of spiraling into “What if?” thoughts, you might observe:

• “My heart is pounding”
• “I’m having thoughts about needing to escape”
• “I’m experiencing an urge to call my safe person”
• “I’m feeling frightened and unsafe”

The Role of Mindfulness (But Not How You Think)

This is where mindfulness comes in – but probably not in the way you’re expecting. We’re not trying to calm down, quiet our minds, or achieve any particular state. That’s not what mindfulness is about in anxiety recovery.

Instead, mindfulness is a tool for building awareness of how automatic our reactions are. It helps us see our anxiety-response machine in action, creating space between trigger and response where we can potentially make different choices.

Moving from “Doing” to “Being”

Accepting anxiety isn’t about adding new coping techniques to your arsenal. It’s about dropping out of “doing” mode and into “being” mode. This means:

• Suspending the constant drive to fix or escape
• Pausing the endless mental chatter about why this is happening
• Letting go of the need to control the experience
• Simply acknowledging what’s present, even if it’s uncomfortable

A Common Misconception

People often say things like “It’s automatic for me to call for help” or “I can’t help running away when I’m anxious.” But is it really automatic, or is it just one possible outcome in an unconscious chain of events we’ve never examined?

There’s no difference between automatically reaching for an ice pack when anxious and automatically complaining about bad weather. Both are learned responses that feel natural but aren’t actually mandatory.

The Path Forward

Learning to accept anxiety starts with this fundamental shift from doing to being. It begins with simply observing our experience before leaping into action. While this might sound simple, it’s profound in practice.

Remember: the goal isn’t to like anxiety or to never feel it again. The goal is to build the awareness that gives us choice in how we respond to it.

Taking Action

If you’re ready to start working with this framework:

1. Practice noting what’s actually happening in anxious moments
2. Notice your automatic urge to “do something” about the anxiety
3. See if you can pause for even a moment before acting
4. Remember that awareness itself is the first step – you don’t need to change anything yet

This is just the beginning of the journey toward accepting anxiety. In future posts, we’ll explore the next steps in this framework, including how to “open up” to our experiences and align our actions with what truly matters to us.

But for today, simply start noticing. That’s enough. That’s the first step toward real change.

Links Of Interest

• Find my “Practical Mindfulness for Anxiety Recovery” Groups
• My Panic Attacks Explained Workshop
• My Agoraphobia Explained Workshop
• My Panic and Agoraphobia Recovery Guidebook
• Follow me on Instagram
• My YouTube Channel
• Disordered – With Josh Fletcher

Disclaimer: The Anxious Truth is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to The Anxious Truth does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the host or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your own well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.