Trigger warning for discussion of eating disorders.
While I will back up the assertions that my fellow contributors have made on this blog — that men can be every bit as visually appealing as women — I worry that we’re starting to objectify a certain ideal hotness with regards to men which is something that I think should be avoided. I mean, let’s face it, we’ve only just come round to the idea that a woman who doesn’t conform to the traditional standard of Western beauty can be desirable; men that don’t, on the other hand, are the subject of demeaning billboard ads.
Eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia, are becoming ever more noticeable in men, as they are in women. A study done recently by the NHS shows that there has been a 66% increase in men being admitted to hospitals for these very afflictions in the UK. A worrying factor in the refusal of men to seek treatment, what else? Being thought of as less manly.
The feminist movement has done wonders bringing to light the often harrowing stories of teenage girls and grown women suffering with these disorders. We should heed the warning’s of feminism. It’s been there and fought through all this body image crap before when it comes to which body types are portrayed in the media as desirable and attainable.
When I was starting down my path to what became a rly serious ED (one I’m still recovering from), one of the biggest source for me of unhealthy tips when I was googling to find “tips”, and ppl freaking out about the slightest bit of eating outside their regimen and putting down ppl for eating an apple (I still remember this, where one guy mocked him for eating an apple “if you like your carbs” and said it was just peanut butter and cottage cheese for him) and ppl asking that if spitting and chewing was good to alleviate hunger… Read more »
Just throwing in that being thin doesn’t resolve anything either, one has to be *muscular*. A thin guy just looks weak and pathetic, a bit embarrassing. Might just be the specifics of the culture I was raised in but a fat man, while not perhaps desirable, was solid, could be intimidating, and therefore still “a man”. Being thin meant being neither desirable nor “a man”. I suppose lining up with the whole “men are not attractive” myth the range of male attractiveness, when admitted, is a rather narrow one. (And I’ll just leave off how this all plays out in… Read more »
I have met quite a few other young men who never considered thinking about things related to body image issues (“My body is here and it works, what do I need more ?”) until they discovered, quite shockingly, that it is possible for them to be considered physically attractive. To them, what made them attractive toward a women was what they said, did or owned and not how they looked like. They considered the male body to be ugly at worst or not capable of being attractive at best. And being proven wrong did not always do so much good… Read more »
@marc202: “I’ve just given up saying I have a “type” because every time I find myself saying well I’m just not attracted to a certain type of women one will come along that will make me go wow who’s that? She’s gorgeous!” My thoughts exactly (other than switching the genders)…if you put all the guys I’ve dated in a room together, it would look like they had nothing in common…all different looks and personalities and backgrounds…but I could tell you something really personally interesting and fascinating to me about each one of them that drew me to them, mostly a… Read more »
Well SJ yeah fat men are allowed to exist only when we are needed to fulfill certain stereotypes. Then we’re all over the place. Need a thug that’s not intelligent but very brutish in intimidating? Get a fat guy. Need someone to remind the audience of exactly what an unattractive man looks like? Get a fat guy. Need a character that’s overly aggressive to the point of not thinking clearly? Get a fat guy (mind you this one is not solely the realm of fat guys, any guy will do but since aggression apparently equals fat in the eyes of… Read more »
Interesting to note, though, that you pretty much never see fat women. Anywhere in the media. Fat men are funny – “haha” – but fat women don’t exist.
@Typhonblue My attitude towards body image in regards to both men a women has always been you can exercise and diet as long as its what you want and your not doing it to conform to someone else’s standard of what’s attractive. Also I’m much the same when it comes to women as you are with men Typhon to the point I’ve just given up saying I have a “type” because every time I find myself saying well I’m just not attracted to a certain type of women one will come along that will make me go wow who’s that?… Read more »
I worry that we’re starting to objectify a certain ideal hotness with regards to men which is something that I think should be avoided.
Believe me. Its not starting. Its just that everyone else (everyone else = people outside of men with body image issues) is finally figuring it out, are finally breaking down and admitting it after denial, or are finally listening to folks that have had those feelings for a long time but were being silenced.
I’ll just be nice and end there.
I was thinking that during the last ‘no judgement sex thread’. One of the posters linked to an image of a man that I not only find unattractive personally (sorry, the zero fat, hairless, plastic muscle anatomy model look does nothing for me) but also think promotes a very unhealthy ideal for men. Particularly since the look is impossible to achieve except by a vanishing small minority of the population and then only as a result of unhealthy practices that they can’t maintain for more then a few days at a time. As a woman I find all sorts of… Read more »
Oh damn that’s a really good point Clarissa sorry I didn’t mention anything about older men
We also need to remember that older men can have eating disorders. For many people, bulimia and anorexia are female and young. My father, however, developed anorexia in his late fifties. At this age, people begin to develop health issues (high blood pressure, cardiovascular issues). They often are told by doctors to lose weight in order to keep the problem under control. And that’s how the obsessive attention towards one’s weight begins. The problem is that very few people realize that eating disorders might be developed by a man in his fifties, so it’s very hard to get help or… Read more »