Congratulations are in order. We have our first two-time “Good Comment of the Day” winner: Aaron Gouveia. Aaron is, by far, our most prolific commenter, often commenting multiple times a day. Even though he disagrees with a lot of my writing (read: basically everything), we really appreciate all that he brings to the conversation.
Yesterday I wrote a post about how high-earning women are, reportedly, straining marriages. It’s not their fault, but rather it seems more like men are having trouble dealing with a role other than primary provider.
Aaron, a journalist, knows the feeling, and he feels guys just can’t win:
Shouldn’t all parents want to do more to provide for their families, whether they’re mothers or fathers? Men are often stuck between a rock and a hard place because if we’re not doing enough we’re deadbeats, and if we’re working all the time and raking in the dough we’re absentee fathers who haven’t gotten with the changing times. Meanwhile if a woman stays home to care for a child that’s encouraged, and if she goes to work that’s seen as positive too.
While this might be true, Anna Tarkov doesn’t think that Aaron is giving women enough credit. They also have a tough decision to make:
[W]orking mothers feel guilty for not being around for their children while stay-at-home mothers feel guilty for not contributing more to the family income. You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I do think this is changing, but no, women’s choices in this area aren’t unilaterally celebrated.
Thanks Aaron and Anna for continuing the conversation. Keep the comments coming. You could be next.
Sexism targeted at fathers hurts men and women equally. As an example, most mainstream airlines prohibit men (but not women) from sitting next to unaccompanied minors, to prevent child abuse. However, there has never been a case of “in flight child abuse.” The hateful and misguided policy of holding all men collectively guilty of a make-believe crime reinforces the stereotype of men as “blood thirsty predators” who cannot be trusted around vulnerable people. How does this hurt men? The widespread mistrust of men around vulnerable people makes men far less likely to choose nurturing roles such as father, husband, and… Read more »