Question: Allana, I went on a date with a woman I can really see a future with, but weeks have passed and I still don’t know where I stand. We talk, we text, but she hasn’t given me much to work with. We haven’t gone out again since our first date, but we are still in touch which makes me think there is still a connection? What should I do? Do I ask her where this is heading or do I just wait it out?
Answer: Love, first I want to congratulate you for going out on a date with a woman you can really see a future with. That already speaks volumes to your capacity to attract somebody healthy and ready for relationship.
It’s also awesome that you are continuing to communicate, talk, text and still feel a connection.
It’s also fantastic that you are completely aware that there isn’t sufficient direction in this relationship, you don’t know where you stand, you don’t know where things are heading, you don’t know what to do, yes?
What’s being invited of you to emerge from deep within you…is your masculine energy, your capacity to lead and direct, your straight certain communication, your steering of the ship, your potent choice… regardless if you get rejected or not, regardless if you spend the rest of your life with her or not.
Just being unapologetic confident heart open YOU.
So my simple but straight coaching is to ask her out on another date pronto. You see if future with her, so create it.
On that second date, what if you asked some questions about her intentions in life… about what she values around relationship. Is she currently dating casually or looking to create a long-term relationship that would lead to marriage? Is she committed to having children one day? What does she see that relationship would provide that she doesn’t have now?Get a little more intimate… Get real and honest… create trust. Talk about your dreams.
These kind of questions might seem a little direct and I don’t want you to interrogate her or make her feel like it’s an interview… but even just one or two of these questions would give you a tremendous amount of information to discover her level of attraction to you and her readiness for relationship now.
You could ask these questions playfully and patiently on a walk through a park, something light and fun… I wouldn’t suggest a five-star restaurant staring at each other‘s eyes which could feel like a lot of pressure 🙂
Be present and conscious.. Pick up on cues of her body language, breath, posture and openness so that you can guide the conversation in a way that honors her readiness, safety, trust and openness with you… You might even go first expressing your own truths so that the conversation feels balanced.
Great man, may I be straight? If it’s a pattern to wait and wonder and not take the lead or spin in your head about where things stand when it comes to relationships or even other areas of your life… I would looove to heal whatever wound is causing that in the core of your heart so that you could enjoy your natural masculine directive energy, while still keeping your heart open, allowing a woman to really feel safe and seen by you.
That tends to lead to second, third, fourth dates and so on… 😉
It would be an honor to see you in my inbox having filled out an application for a complementary strategy session with me to explore engaging in a series of six private sessions together… By going to www.allanapratt.com/connect
Doing the inner work pays off richly and all seven areas of life. How we do anything is how we do everything, yes?
Great love, Allana