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Home / Featured Content / If You’re Feeling Insecure About How You Look, Watch This! [Video]

If You’re Feeling Insecure About How You Look, Watch This! [Video]

Although it's important to remember that the things we take for granted in ourselves are the same qualities others wish they possessed, sometimes we still feel affected and insecure about our looks.

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It’s no secret that attributes aren’t given out equally in this world; we’re all born with different advantages and struggles. But what happens when we feel we’re just not “attractive enough”?

Although it’s important to remember that the things we take for granted in ourselves are the same qualities others wish they possessed, sometimes we still feel affected and insecure about our looks.

But we have more control over our looks than we think. Our physical appearance is greatly affected by the way we take care of ourselves: health, diet, grooming, style, and well, just trying, significantly impact our looks.

So does smiling, playful and authentic self-expression, and belief in our value—all of which amount to something we might superficially term “charm.” And charm is just as real as symmetry.

Then of course, there’s the fact that deeper attraction (creating a connection that transcends animal instincts) is what keeps someone investing in us long term. Deeper attraction is forged in the values we portray that make us the kind of person someone wants to be around in life.

Finding love isn’t a game of attracting everyone; it’s about being irreplaceable to one person. What attracts “everyone” is different from the subjective appeal of YOU.

Watch this video and let me know in the comments something that makes you unique!

 

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:00
there are some people who have an easier
00:01
time getting attention because of the
00:03
way
00:04
they look and it would be a lie to say
00:07
otherwise
00:08
i am curious matthew
00:11
how would you help someone or what would
00:13
you say to someone who feels insecure um
00:16
about you know possibly their
00:18
attractiveness so they feel like they’re
00:19
not attractive because i feel like that
00:21
is such a common
00:22
fear for so many people and so
00:26
what would be your best advice to
00:27
overcoming that kind of an insecurity
00:30
well
00:31
you know
00:33
symmetry facial symmetry isn’t
00:36
distributed evenly in this world that’s
00:38
true
00:40
and neither is uh
00:43
you know body shape and and
00:47
you know the
00:48
some people struggle more with that and
00:51
and we do you know it would be false to
00:53
say that there aren’t
00:55
certain types of faces and bodies that
00:58
that make life easier for some people
01:02
because
01:03
they just do there are some people who
01:05
have an easier time getting attention
01:07
because of the way
01:08
they look and it would be a lie to say
01:11
otherwise
01:13
what
01:14
i
01:15
but but i think that it’s worth thinking
01:16
about it in a couple of other ways
01:18
firstly
01:20
we do actually have
01:21
an incredible amount of
01:23
influence
01:25
over our attractiveness
01:27
and
01:28
part of that is because of course the
01:31
the ways that we can work on our
01:34
personality our boundaries how we come
01:36
across our charisma is something that
01:39
you know we’re not just born with a
01:40
certain level of charisma that can’t
01:42
change we do actually have ways of of
01:44
improving our charisma we do actually
01:46
have ways of of
01:47
of being more bold of
01:50
uh speaking up for ourselves more or
01:53
flirting better
01:55
but also on the outside we do you know
01:57
we we have you can go to the gym you can
01:59
work out you can
02:01
improve your body um you can
02:04
groom yourself and and look better that
02:06
way you can look after your skin like
02:09
there are there are a lot of things you
02:11
can do now is it going to take someone
02:14
who
02:14
doesn’t look anything like the kinds of
02:17
people that are
02:18
held up as the
02:20
examples of beauty in today’s day and
02:23
age no it’s not gonna it’s not gonna
02:25
completely eradicate the gap but it can
02:27
make an extraordinary
02:29
difference so i think that’s the
02:31
that’s the first thing and the second
02:32
thing is
02:34
it
02:35
being the best looking person in the
02:37
room
02:38
only really matters if you’re trying to
02:40
attract everyone in the room
02:43
which by the way isn’t even possible for
02:45
the best looking person in the room so i
02:48
if you’re coming at it from a place of
02:50
well
02:51
trying to attract
02:53
everyone in the room is just an egoic
02:56
pursuit
02:57
it’s that’s just my ego that wants to
03:00
attract more and more and more and more
03:02
and more people what is it i actually
03:05
really want
03:07
what is it i’m actually looking for and
03:09
if the answer is
03:11
oh i’m looking for a really great
03:12
connection
03:13
i’m looking for
03:15
someone who really thinks that i am a
03:17
special special human being and
03:20
adores me
03:21
and that i can also adore
03:24
then you’re playing a very different
03:26
game than the attention game
03:29
you’re you’re actually in the game of
03:32
let me find that person who i’m going to
03:35
build something extraordinarily special
03:37
with
03:38
and um
03:40
and that to me is where true
03:42
where there’s much more happiness anyway
03:46
you know one of the one of the problems
03:47
for people who get an extraordinary
03:49
amount of attention is that
03:52
it actually takes their focus away from
03:55
something that could be far more
03:57
nourishing far more nutritional it’s
03:59
harder to choose one person if
04:01
you are inundated with
04:04
options and and it can also be seductive
04:06
to have lots of options and it can make
04:08
it hard to
04:09
give that up but that doesn’t mean that
04:10
happiness resides in
04:13
you know constantly flitting from one
04:15
superficial uh
04:18
interaction and and
04:20
romantic situation to another if you if
04:23
you take the premise that
04:25
for most people
04:27
being in a deeply connected and
04:29
beautiful relationship
04:31
you know of what however they define it
04:34
is one of the most beautiful things they
04:36
can experience in life
04:37
then you don’t need to worry about the
04:39
egoic part of you that worries am i
04:41
attractive enough that’s ego am i
04:43
attractive enough is anyone going to
04:45
think i’m good enough that’s kind of ego
04:47
what we have to do instead is seek out
04:49
that one person
04:50
that
04:52
we are i i don’t want to say meant for
04:54
because i don’t really believe in meant
04:56
for what i believe is unique you meet
04:58
someone who just thinks oh my god you
05:01
are extraordinary that that not
05:03
one feature on you is extraordinary
05:05
you’re extraordinary because you have an
05:06
extraordinary face or an extraordinary
05:09
body no you meet someone who sees the
05:11
package that you represent from the
05:13
inside out and thinks
05:16
you you as a package are far from
05:18
perfect as am i but my god are you
05:22
someone i want to spend my life with do
05:24
you want to change your life
05:26
go to this video now immediately right
05:29
now and then
05:30
we’re looking every day for reassurance
05:33
did you mean what you said yesterday are
05:34
you are you really going to stay with me
05:37
are you really never going to cheat on
05:38
me
05:39
we can never get enough reassurance and
05:40
reassurance always needs to be topped up

—

This post was previously published on YouTube.

***

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About Matthew Hussey

Relationship Expert Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey is the world’s leading dating expert for women.

For the past 8 years he has coached millions of women around the world to help them get the love lives of their dreams.

He is a New York Times bestselling author, he has his own national radio show, he’s been given his own television show, Rachael Ray, Katie Couric, Ryan Seacrest, Meredith Vieira, Elvis Duran, Match.com and many others frequently invite him to share his advice.

Matthew is also a monthly relationship advice columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine and the dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back.

He’s had the privilege of working with royalties and celebrities like Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria. He’s also coached over 100,000 women in his live seminars and his training videos have reached over 217,000,000 women around the world.

Connect with him on Facebook, Twitter @MatthewHussey, and on his website, HowToGetTheGuy.com.

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