These are comments by Lance, Kitti, Dawn on the post “Dance With Your Daughter, but Not for Purity“.
Lance said:
“Why do you need a “Purity Ball” to talk about these issues with your daughters? I have a 15 year old. Since she was 12, her mother and I have spoken with her about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. So far, she hasn’t gotten pregnant or been arrested.
“I’m wary of anything, church sponsored or not, that screams ‘LOOK AT WHAT GOOD PARENTS WE ARE.’ I dance with my daughters almost every day, when they let me. I also talk to them about the music they listen to, the boys and girls they hang with, and what constitutes good judgement.
“I’m not saying I’m the world’s greatest parent, because I’m far from it, but I don’t see the need to organize a Purity Ball to promote anything.”
Kitti said:
“Wow, what incredibly bad wording on Wilson’s pledge. For a father to ‘cover’ his daughter? ‘Cover’ is a term for breeding livestock. Wow.
“From what I have read, children who sign abstinence pledges are more likely to suffer unintended pregnancies. They feel too guilty about what they’re doing to think clearly. So they don’t consider the importance of using birth control/protection.
“Wilson says that girls are just ‘waiting to be loved.’ Well, quit making them wait. Love your kids; no gowns required.”
Dawn said:
“If fathers want to connect with their daughters, they should go outside and throw a baseball or kick a soccer ball. Also, placing emphasis on sexual purity only reinforces the idea that a girl is defined by her body, rather than taking the focus off sexuality.”
Photo credit: Flickr / Robynlou8
I grew up in this “Purity Culture.” There is a very, very dark side. The idea that “the greatest gift a bride can give her husband is her virginity” really reduces the value of a girl to what is between her legs. And then you add in the “Dad” factor and things get really weird. In the name of protecting his daughter’s purity, a dad hyper-focused on her sexuality. All he sees when he looks at her is sex. It gets really, really messed up. I was one of the lucky girls who’s dad never touched her, but to this… Read more »
My parents never talked about sex with me. We were never allowed to watch sex scenes during movies and had to step out of the room. My mother and father have slept in different rooms since the day I was born. There is no love in our family and I’m starting to look for it elsewhere. Why me!!???!??!
There are many kinds of purity. What about pure pleasure? Pure lust? Pure intimacy? Pure seductiveness? Pure sensuality? Pure longing? The purity of living in the moment?
Honoring virginity is celebrating ignorance at the expense of knowledge.
What’s “purity?” I never heard the term until I came here. I’m 67.
I started talking to my kids about sexuality as before the age of 2. Other kids at preschool will tell AND show them if you don’t.