How to Become More Confident in Yourself as a Man (Works for Women, Too)

Society has tons of different views about what the perfect man or woman should look like. Most of them are as realistic as Megan Fox sending me nudes out of the blue.

As a man, you’re supposed to be tough yet vulnerable, show muscles and feelings, and have a great career but spend a ton of time with your family. You also should be a great handyman, listener, parent, gentleman, style expert, fitness model, leader, gardener — and of course, you’re supposed to not complain and solve all your problems on the fly.

It’s tough to be and do all that.

I’m sure women face similar unrealistic expectations, but since I’m born with El Pito and his two hairy amigos, I don’t know much about it.

What I do know is this:

When you and everyone around you set an unrealistic standard, your self-esteem takes harder hits than a baseball during a Major League final.

You start to question yourself and your masculinity.

“Am I good enough?”

“Do I have what it takes?”

“Am I man enough?”

I’ve been there. I’ve doubted myself and thought I was worthless, that I’ll never be able to get the girls, success, or life I wanted. I know what it feels like to not be confident in yourself as a man.

You see others and perceive them as better than you — and maybe they are.

You can’t be the best at everything. There will always be someone richer, taller, more muscular, more successful, and better looking. But there’s one thing nobody can beat you to:

Being yourself.

Being the unique man you are.

Nobody else can do that.

Here’s a simple exercise that helped me harness my uniqueness and shoot my confidence through the roof.

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You Need To Realize What You See Every Day

Look at the same flower every day and you become blind to it — even if it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

I’ve hit the gym consistently for over ten years. Throughout that time, my body has changed a lot — from skinny to Michelin Man to shredded. The funny thing? I barely noticed it.

It only became apparent when friends told me or I looked at old photos. Looking at myself in the mirror every day made me blind to my progress.

The same happens to you when you grow personally.

Here’s how you can realize what an amazing man you are and what you have to offer.

Take out a pen and paper & set aside at least half an hour

Handwriting has something magic about it.

Maybe it’s the work your fingers have to put in, maybe it’s seeing the lines connect on paper, maybe it’s looking at the finished product knowing you did this.

Either way, you’re going to use it to your advantage.

Grab a sheet of paper and a pen. Set aside at least half an hour of uninterrupted time, putting away your phone and any other distractions. This time is for you and you only.

Set the stage

On top of the paper, write down the following words:

Reasons why I am a great man

(Women, add the letters “wo” before the last word and watch the magic unfold.)

Then, you’re going to list at least 50 reasons why you are.

I don’t care how long it takes. I don’t care if you get frustrated. I don’t care if your head is spinning.

Stay there and keep writing until you’ve hit 50.

The first few come easy, but at a certain point, you’ll stall. You’ve gone through everything obvious. Now, the hard but rewarding part begins.

When I got to that point, I became desperate. I sat at 20 or so items and thought to myself: “How the fuck am I going to find another 30?” But I persisted and found more.

You’ll have to grind your gears, take a different perspective, and keep pushing yourself.

With every reason you can think of, you’ll increase your confidence and improve how you view yourself as a man.

So keep going.

Use these helpful guiding questions

To make it a little easier for you, here are some guiding questions: