Dork Daddy is back with 20 bits of advice for his daughter
Dork Daddy recently posted 20 Things a Father Should Tell His Son. Here’s the follow up to his daughter.
1) Pay attention to the way a man loves his mother. That is the way he will love you.
2) You can do anything a man can do, including organic chemistry, unclogging toilets and assembling IKEA furniture.
3) Older women wear makeup so THEY can look like YOU. Less is more. A lot less is a lot more.
4) People will judge you by the way you look. It isn’t fair, but it’s the way the world works. Keep that in mind as you pick your outfit in the morning.
5) Never let anyone do your thinking for you. There are far too many people with far too much invested in you believing what they believe.
6) Liberal arts grow your mind. Science and business keep you fed. You will need both.
7) Nothing is more attractive than intelligence.
8) Learn to drive a stick-shift.
9) Get comfortable with power tools.
10) You don’t have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.
11) Know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, and the key players in both.
12) You don’t have to do anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.
13) Peer pressure is all about insecurity. Be confident in who you are and you’ll never have to “fit in.” People will come to you.
14) The fastest way to strain a relationship with a man is to bring up old drama. We can’t remember to hang up the bath towel. What makes you think we remember that stupid thing we did 6 months ago?
15) If a man genuinely loves you, he will let you set the boundaries. Don’t let anyone take something from you they can’t give back. You set the tone for the sexual relationship.
16) Feminine hygiene products — Where our daughters are concerned, we would be very happy sticking our fingers in our ears and saying “lalalalalalalala”. Please respect our need to pretend they, and the reason for them, do not exist. The same goes for lacy underthings.
17) You were flawless the day you were born. If you must go get that first tattoo, please consider inviting your daddy to come and get his first tattoo with you.
18) You are perfect the way you roll out of bed. Let’s be clear: all that crap you do to “get out the door” is for everyone else’s benefit.
19) Though he may be smiling on the outside, when you leave for college your father is falling apart on the inside. Don’t forget to call him that first night to tell him you love him.
20) Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy. Nobody will love you like he does.
—This post first appeared on DorkDaddy.com
—Photo OakleyOriginals/Flickr
Ok, this is weird. Daddy wants to be liberal but it just as overprotective as american daddies learn to be. Your daughter does not set the boundaries for the relationship, she should not sit and wait for the right man to cross an ocean for her. A relationship is formed together and if she wants a man/woman/other she likes, she should make an effort and take the risks herself by trying to make something out of it. And she should NOT compare every man to daddy. Seriously. No.
2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16 are all wrong.
#7 is the most egregiously incorrect of all of them
#15 is Three difererent things two of which are only partialy correct
17 and 18 a bit schmaltzy
1, 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 19, 20 are all good.
*sigh* this is why I’m learning to hate geeks. 8, 9, 10, 11, 16…wtf?
I’d love to see your suggestions for what to tell your son:
-you don’t need to enjoy the Bachelor, but you should get a working knowledge of the rules
-know the difference between Sex & the City and Twilight, and the key players in each
-learn to use a sewing machine
-be respectful and pretend your penis is shameful, for my sake, because I find it embarrassing
So, good job turning your girl into a dorky boy, I guess.
Here we go again. Spreading nonsense that being a well rounded girl means adopting a male model of everything. And hiding our “shameful” feminine products that mark our ability to create life. News flash Dad: I never learned football or how to use a power tool or put together IKEA furniture because it doesn’t interest me. I hire good men for that, because they interest me. (Yes I studied only Liberal Arts, but my common sense helped me make money) And sometimes those good guys bring their skills in exchange for a grilled veal chop or a plate of slow… Read more »
You know what, Dr. Wendy? You are so right. Thank you for your post. After reading it I see clearly now that there is way more to be offended by in the piece than there is to be praised. I have seen the error of my ways. Clearly every parenting instinct I have is wrong and my daughter would be so much better off without my perspective. Thank you, Dr Wendy. I really don’t know what I was thinking.
– Dr. Dork Dad
Forgive me but who is Dr. Wendy Walsh and how does she know what a FATHER should tell his daughter?
Forgive me but who is Dr. Wendy Walsh and how does she know what a FATHER should tell his daughter?
Because heaven forbid a girl learn to be capable of doing for herself rather than always relying on others for everything. Its not like there’s ever going to be a situation where she’ll have to fend for herself after all, right Dork Dad? You know Dr Walsh, such a simple thing as say, learning to maintain her car, can save a girl hundreds and even thousands of dollars a year, whereas having a male friend come over regularly to do it for her is going to cost more than a cobbler. Fun Fact, most mechanics are male chauvinists, and will… Read more »
@4- It would probably make a lot more sense to say: “Dress however you want. Any one who judges you for how you look is a moron who should be avoided and ignored at all costs.”
@ 10 and 11- …Why?
@16- Any “man” who isn’t comfortable knowing about an important and 100% natural part of a woman’s life (especially his daughters!) needs to grow up.
Although some of these points are quite sweet, I know my father would feel nauseous after reading this list. This entire list is heteronormative and employs stereotypes on both males and females.
@Manda …. Guys know the basics but sure as heck doesn’t need to know the details in 16. Simply don’t feel offended if guys aren’t interested,let us be.
What’s wrong with number 4? My dad gave me that advice when I was younger. Everybody judges you on how you look, whether you’re in a police uniform or rags. Perception is everything.
…except that it was not phrased that way. It was phrased in such a way that suggested that men can’t handle knowing anything about the basics of women’s biology. I certainly expect to at least be able to tell my partner that I’m on my period without him shutting down going “EWWW LADY PARTS!” And, I might add, I do have a partner who is pretty chill and doesn’t get freaked out when I tell him I’m not feeling well because I’m on my period, and has even gone so far as to buy some products for me when I… Read more »
Monica and Manda, I agree with you on points 10 & 11. This is not a list of imperatives, but a list of what one father told his daughter based on what he deemed important. What would you substitute for it? For #10 and #11 what I think he’s getting at is “this is the kind of esoteric thing your dad’s type of men talk about and it’d be nice to talk about it with you;” for my daughter #10 would be “know why I root for the Bears and never the Packers (as stupid as it is, a person’s… Read more »
The BEARS???? In my case, it was the Packers. Even though my daughter married a Bears fan, I don’t hold it against him. I’m still young enough to sway him in the right direction. I’ve accepted the fact that he’s a Cubs fan and not a SOX fan. My daughters lack of judgement in in this area is okay. But then again, since she married a guy that’s a lot like me, I don’t expect him to change any time soon …
#4 is all about cultural competence. There is a real world that my children will have to function in, and there are roles that they will have to play depending on their circumstances. In my life I am a husband, father, teacher, doctor, boss… all of those roles have different tolerances for behavior in the eyes of the people I interact with. If I want to be successfull in those relationships, I can’t say “screw it. This is who I am. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem”. If my daughter loves Star Trek so much all she wants… Read more »
The list is good but I read both lists and I have the same problem with both lists. I understand the reason behind number 4. However, I also understand that this is a prejudice that we have got to band together to break the world of. I believe at one time the person with the highest IQ in the world was a homeless person. That is a vital thing to realize. The other thing to realize is that some of the biggest slimeballs you will ever meet wear suits and ties. The most important thing a father should be teaching… Read more »
Sooooo… If I guy isn’t interested in something, you shouldn’t talk about it to or even around him (16) but if there is something *you* are not interested in then you should learn about it anyway and discuss it with them! (10) and (11).
While there are a few good points in this list, they are buries in sexist, hetero & cis-gendered privelige.
Ah, the haters. You have to expect them when you put something like this out there.
#16… it’s a *funny*. [[sigh]]
#10/#11 It’s about being culturally competent. Nobody’s saying you have to *like* the material. But if you’re so detatched from something that so many people are passionate about (forget Star Wars… I could have said “have a passing knowledge about the difference between Christianity and Islam” or “republicans and democrats” or “Buggs Bunny and Mickey Mouse” ) you’ll find your ability to relate to people severely limited.
Loved #12 and #15!
Dorky Dad,
Loved both of your 20 Things lists.
On this one, the only one I don’t really agree with: #1
If my husband loved me the way he loves his mom, ( he does love her) we’d never gotten married.
Well, tha’s why I used the word “should” in the title. Wouldn’t it be nice…?
#21 “I love you.” This is something John added to the companion piece, what a father should tell his son. Same goes here. https://goodmenproject.com/families/20-things-a-father-should-tell-his-son/
12th is my favourite!
I agree with all that you wrote here. I really like how you’ve referenced how daughters see their dads and a gage their selection the man in her life. What’s sad is that many of these daughters don’t have active dads in their lives to hear this advise.