We were watching Mayor of Kingston the other day and Mike, the main character ended the show with a narration speaking about how our dreams can become our nightmares.
This narration deeply grabbed ahold of my heart in some darkly profound ways and got me thinking and feeling about how as of late (the last few years that is) that I, myself, and perhaps you can relate here, have experienced a massive amount of just this.
Dreams turning to nightmares.
For me it’s the dreams of different connections being something that they are not. It’s all relationship focused.
Although, and we could say, that everything is relationship, no matter the subject areas of our lives that we are focused on. Because that is just fact. We have a relationship with everything through our energy.
However, what I have experienced, well become evidently aware of is that I often want for something in relationship with another human being and even set my sights and thus goals on, a certain design for that relationship. Believing that because of the original makeup or labeling of the relationship that is “should” play out a certain way. That the mutual feelings “should” just be there.
My reality check with myself is that I am extremely idealistic when it comes to relationship. I believe that mutual respect, loyalty, compassion and understanding is just there. That when you go through the storms of life with someone, when you have their back or share in deep vulnerability the aspects of you and of them that the relationship will grow stronger and more connected and set you on a path of longevity and love, no matter.
It is here that I hear my own voice with clients of mine informing them that love is never enough. It’s a sad reality, but still the truth.
So often as humans we experience heartbreak, deceit, suffering and blame. To name a few not so pretty things in our life journey. We get faced with the reality that our views of what has been shared and walked through, our witnessing and the witnessing of the other are vastly different and can actually creating separation sometimes.
It’s a real challenge to keep your eye on hope, on love even and belief that things could ever be different, especially when the relationship is with someone that you truly believed would never leave your side because you would never leave their side.
We all desire for connection.
We want to be witnessed throughout our lives because the witnessing brings with it the illusion that if this special someone see’s you, stands with you through all the darkness and the light that your life mattered.
That you mattered.
We are truly an animal of connection.
One of community or togetherness.
But then the grim reaper comes and tears the throats out those in the relationship, shining a dreary light on all reality, and we crumble. We fall apart and feel all the emotions of our egos and demons, and easily start to believe the reverse is true.
That we don’t matter.
Now, I have heard and even preach frequently that just letting that shit go is the answer. That no matter the relationship, our vibration and alignment to soul, to God/Universe is what matters and that we all have a purpose no matter how someone else stands by us or not. I hear the teachings of Abrahm Hicks sounding off about how we would not impacted if a random stranger called us and said, “I am just calling to tell you that I will never call you again. That you will never hear from me again.” And sure, that is very true for the random stranger or even the acquaintance and even sometimes, sometimes the friends or lovers.
However, the fact is that when it is a relationship that you have had a lifetime, that is family, that is your soulmate (or so you had hoped) and you saw this brilliant future with, it’s not that easy to just let that shit go and turn and walk down a different path.
Still there is the need and must do of just that.
The release of what you had wanted and hoped for and the allowance of what is on the table before you.
Dreams are powerful things.
They drive us forward, propel us to new heights, and fill our hearts with hope and anticipation. From childhood, we are encouraged to dream big, to reach for the stars, to believe in the seemingly impossible. Dreams give us purpose, shape our ambitions, and craft the visions of our future selves. Yet, as time goes on, we often find ourselves grappling with the harsh reality that not all dreams are destined to come true. Sometimes, the very dreams that once filled us with joy and excitement morph into nightmares, haunting us with their unfulfilled promises.
In the beginning, our dreams are pure and untainted by the world’s cynicism. As children, we dream without constraints, envisioning lives filled with boundless possibility. We want to be astronauts, explorers, superheroes. We want to have loving, close nit relationships. We see the dinner tables full of laughing friends and family at Christmas time. The beauty of a deep soul bonded connection being witnessed by those we cherish and a life that is robust and full of everything we desire.
Our dreams are fueled by the innocence and wonder of youth, untouched by the limitations of reality. But as we grow older, the world begins to impose its boundaries upon us. We are taught to be practical, to set realistic goals, to understand the limitations of our circumstances.
We are taught to settle.
Settle for less.
These wild, unbridled dreams of our youth are often tempered by the expectations and pressures of adulthood.
Reality has a way of intruding upon our dreams, often in ways we could never have anticipated. We face obstacles and setbacks, challenges that test our resolve and resilience. Sometimes, these challenges are external: economic hardships, societal expectations, or unforeseen circumstances that derail our plans. Other times, the obstacles are internal: self-doubt, fear of failure, or a loss of passion. Regardless of their origin, these barriers can chip away at our dreams, eroding the hope and optimism that once fueled them.
There is a profound pain in watching a dream slip away, a pain that is both deep and personal.
It is a mourning of sorts, a grieving process for a future that will never come to pass.
We feel a sense of loss, not just for the dream itself, but for the person we imagined we would become. We mourn the life we envisioned, the achievements we aspired to, the happiness we believed was within our grasp. This grief is compounded by the realization that time is a relentless force, moving forward without pause. The opportunities we miss, the dreams we abandon, can rarely be reclaimed.
As dreams fade, they often leave behind a shadow of regret. We look back on our lives and wonder what might have been.
What if we had taken that chance, pursued that passion, or fought harder for that goal, for that person, that relationship, that business, our health, etc?
Regret is a heavy burden, one that can weigh us down and cloud our present with the specter of the past. It is easy to become ensnared in a cycle of what-ifs and if-onlys, to dwell on the missed opportunities and the roads not taken.
Yet, even in the face of unfulfilled dreams and the nightmares they can become, there is a deeper truth to be found.
Life is not always about the realization of our dreams, but rather about the journey we undertake in pursuit of them.
The pursuit itself can be a source of growth, learning, and transformation. Along the way, we discover new aspects of ourselves, develop new skills, and forge new meaningful connections. The journey shapes us, often in ways that are more profound than the achievement of the dream itself.
Moreover, dreams have a way of evolving.
What we once thought we wanted may change as we grow and experience life. Our dreams are not static; they shift and transform as we do. Sometimes, letting go of an old dream makes space for new ones to take root. It is important to recognize that our dreams are a reflection of our deepest desires and aspirations at a given moment in time, and as we change, so too do our dreams.
There is also a certain resilience that comes from facing the disappointment of unfulfilled dreams. It teaches us to adapt, to find new paths, and to redefine our goals. This resilience is a testament to the human spirit, our capacity to endure and find meaning even in the face of adversity. It is in these moments of struggle and disappointment that we often find our true strength and character.
Yet, despite the resilience and growth that can come from unmet dreams, it is important to acknowledge the pain and sadness they leave behind. It is a part of the human experience to feel the sting of unrealized hopes, to confront the gap between our aspirations and our reality. This acknowledgment is crucial, for it allows us to process our emotions, to heal, and to ultimately move forward.
In the end, dreams are a vital part of our humanity. They inspire us, drive us, and give our lives direction. But they are also fragile, susceptible to the whims of fate and the passage of time. When our dreams turn into nightmares, when the hopes we once held dear are dashed, it is a deeply painful experience. Yet, it is also an opportunity for introspection, growth, and renewal. It is a chance to reevaluate our desires, to forge new dreams, and to continue striving for a life that holds meaning and fulfillment.
Life is a blend of dreams and reality, of hope and disappointment. It is the interplay between these elements that shapes our journey and defines who we are. While not all dreams may come true, the pursuit of them enriches our lives in ways we may not always immediately recognize. It is in this pursuit that we find our greatest lessons, our deepest connections, and our truest selves.
So, let us continue to dream, even in the face of adversity. Let us hold onto our hopes, knowing that they may change and evolve, but that the act of dreaming itself is a vital part of our existence. And let us find solace in the knowledge that even when our dreams turn to nightmares, there is still beauty to be found in the journey, and still hope to be discovered in the promise of new beginnings.
I share this message today for all those that have loved and lost. That are heartbroken beyond comprehension.
That had a vision, a beautiful vision and vowed to manifest it but then saw the reality that what they had wanted for was not wanted by another.
I share this for all those who have built a business with dreams of abundance and so much more, of leaving a legacy through this path only to take yet another blow and suffer the hardships of financial loss and destruction.
For those of you who have been cheated on.
Abused and not seen.
For those of you who believed that the that “special someone” was your forever someone.
Those who painfully wake up at the loss of a loved one because they see life differently.
Those who have lost a child.
A best friend.
A sister or brother.
Yes, you I write this for today.
I see you.
You are witnessed and valuable.
You matter.
Know that just because a dream no matter what it is, is not realized and manifest the way you had wanted and hoped for there is greatness still there for you.
It is your resilience.
Your heart,
Your ability to keep loving and dreaming.
It is YOU.
That matters.
And those dreams that do not manifest truly were not in your highest and best interest.
It is the frequency, the emotion that they would and could have brought, or so you believe, that you must focus on now. For it is possible to have all of that and more, on your true path.
The best is still to come.
Always.
And your never done walking the path toward just this.
As always loving you from here,
*AI Generated photo
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash
