Surprising lessons on goodness from a movie about gangsters.
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When you think about films that portray what it means to be a good man, The Godfather is not usually at the top of the list. The namesake of the movie, Vito Corleone, leads a family of gangsters involved in all manner of illegal and immoral activities. What could you possibly learn from a man like that about being a good man?
Quite a bit, as it turns out. The Godfather is not really a movie about gangsters, it’s really a movie about family loyalty. It has a great plot and interesting characters, but men have been drawn to this film for decades mostly because they resonate with its message about family. If we look under the surface of this enduring story, we can learn three important lessons that will help us in our journey to be good men.
Lesson #1: A good man puts his family first.
Despite his criminal activity, Godfather Vito Corleone is a man of family values. Near the beginning of the movie, the Godfather is talking to movie star Johnny Fontaine and asks, “Tell me, do you spend time with your family?”
A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.
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Johnny answers, “Sure I do,” Vito responds, “Good. Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.” And through his actions, Vito indeed shows that he makes his family a priority.
As we face the pressures of work, hobbies, and other responsibilities, do we spend time with our families? I admit that it’s often a struggle for me because I’m so task-driven. But if we want to set an example for our families and show them that they are a real priority, we must be willing to set aside our work to spend dedicated time with them.
Lesson #2: A good man protects his family
All of the actions taken by the two main characters in the film—Vito Corleone and his son Michael, who later becomes the Godfather—are driven by a sense of family loyalty. They will go to great lengths to ensure the safety of their loved ones, even if it means (or perhaps especially if it means) violence.
While many of the activities of the Corleone family are not moral, you can’t help but respect the “family code of honor” that guides their actions. What lengths would you go to in order to protect your family?
It’s easy to look at protecting your family as a stereotypical male role. Isn’t the man supposed to be the one who makes sure the car and home are in good working order and checks out scary noises in the middle of the night? Perhaps, but true protection goes deeper than that.
Protecting your spouse, partner, or children means that you do everything in your power to ensure their health and safety. It’s not about saying “the husband does this and the wife does that,” it’s about everyone working together in their areas of strength to make sure the family is protected.
A true “good man” has enough self-confidence to acknowledge that his wife or partner is just as strong as he is, and that they must work together to protect their family.
Lesson #3: A good man provides for his family.
Say what you will about the Corleone family’s line of work, but at least the men take responsibility for being providers. They do what’s necessary to provide income, shelter, and stability for their families.
There are many ways to provide for your family. There is financial, of course, but there are also emotional, spiritual, and physical ways to provide for your loved ones.
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That being said, it’s important to remember that there are many ways to provide for your family. There is financial, of course, but there are also emotional, spiritual, and physical ways to provide for your loved ones.
There are many families around the world where the father subscribes to the outdated ideal that he brings home a paycheck and has no further obligations. He might be providing financial stability for the family, but if he’s never home, checked out emotionally, or possibly even abusive, that’s not really providing like a good man, is it?
In addition, we must be careful not to fall into the stereotype that men must be breadwinners at all. The vast majority of men I know do work and provide at least part of the income for their families. But that doesn’t mean it has to be that way. What about the man who chooses to be a stay-at-home Dad because that’s what best for the family or because that’s just what he prefers to do? A man doesn’t necessarily have to fill a traditional role in order to be a great provider on many levels.
If you’ve never seen The Godfather, I recommend you check it out. It’s a great film not only because of the engaging story, but also because it reminds us that good men take responsibility to care for their families by putting them first, protecting them, and providing for them. These can be done in a variety of ways, and if a spouse or partner is present, collaboration is the name of the game. A good man will find creative, fruitful ways to make his family a priority.
If you’ve seen The Godfather, do you agree with my takeaways? What else can it teach us about being a good man?
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock