By Dad, How Do I?
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Dad Chat – Integrity
Dadquote;
“We need more than a few good men & women,
we need a WORLD of good men and women that are willing to do the right thing;
even when it’s hard,
even when it costs you something,
and yes, even when no one is looking.
I love you, I’m proud of you, and God Bless You!”
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:01
hey kids nice to see you again
00:03
uh so today i’m gonna talk to you about
00:06
integrity
00:07
you know it’s uh it’s one of those
00:08
things that can be it may be a little
00:10
bit tough to hear
00:11
but uh you know it’s i i love you and so
00:14
i need you know i need to share share
00:17
things like this with you
00:19
uh and i’m just hoping to kind of raise
00:21
the standard you know
00:22
raise the bar a little bit so that um so
00:25
we’re kind of accountable to each other
00:27
before i get into that i do have a dad
00:30
joke for you
00:30
so my daughter was uh was confused about
00:34
cloning
00:35
i said that makes two of us ah
00:38
so uh so part of having integrity is
00:41
uh admitting when you’re wrong okay
00:44
so yesterday i actually had an instagram
00:46
post that i attributed to cs lewis it
00:49
said uh
00:50
integrity is doing the right thing even
00:51
when no one is watching
00:53
uh and actually that wasn’t actually cs
00:56
lewis that said that
00:57
could have easily been c.s lewis but it
00:59
wasn’t him um
01:00
i was able to kind of search a little
01:02
bit and figured out that
01:04
it looks like something similar is from
01:05
a book by charles marshall
01:07
and it says integrity is doing the right
01:10
thing
01:10
when you don’t have to when no one else
01:12
is looking
01:13
or will ever know when there will be no
01:15
congratulations or recognition for
01:17
having done so
01:19
he also says integrity is doing the
01:21
right thing no matter what it costs you
01:24
how true is that right here’s a few more
01:26
quotes for you um one by j.c watts
01:29
he says for too long for too long
01:32
for too long we’ve gotten by in a
01:35
society that says the only thing
01:37
right is to get by and the only thing
01:39
wrong
01:40
is to get caught
01:43
warren buffett says in looking for
01:45
people to hire you look for three
01:47
qualities
01:48
integrity intelligence and energy and
01:52
if they don’t have the first the other
01:54
two will kill you
01:56
that’s true you remove integrity from
01:58
there you got intelligence and energy
01:59
you can do a lot
02:00
do a lot of damage right um yeah so
02:04
use your intelligence with integrity
02:07
um i also find it helpful to look up the
02:10
um
02:10
the definition of integrity and it says
02:13
the quality of being honest
02:15
and having strong moral principles moral
02:17
uprightness
02:19
uh and the i’ve always found it helpful
02:22
when i’m trying to get my head around
02:24
something to look at the opposite of it
02:25
too so i kind of
02:27
uh reworded this and i said the
02:30
the opposite of integrity is the quality
02:32
of being dishonest
02:34
having weak moral principles yikes who
02:37
wants to have that be their legacy who
02:39
wants to leave
02:40
um being known for that right your life
02:43
is so quick
02:43
so think about your legacy think about
02:46
what you’re
02:47
what you want to be known for right you
02:50
know it takes no effort to go with the
02:51
flow
02:52
when other people are doing things that
02:54
they shouldn’t be doing and
02:56
calling it good when you know deep down
02:58
it’s not good
03:00
uh it takes no effort right you can just
03:02
sail right along and
03:03
go right along with them it takes effort
03:05
to swim against the stream right to do
03:07
the right thing
03:09
when others are doing the wrong thing
03:13
so here’s something i thought was a
03:15
little interesting i’ve received a few
03:16
messages saying that
03:18
that i left my my son when he was 12.
03:22
you know that’s obviously it’d be pretty
03:23
hypocritical of me i’m
03:25
i left my son and here i’m showing other
03:26
people how to do things
03:28
you know that’s kind of anyway it’s just
03:31
kind of ironic that
03:32
because that just came over today and
03:34
i’ve seen it before a couple times but
03:36
and i knew i was going to be doing a
03:37
message on integrity and it’s like well
03:39
that would be the opposite of integrity
03:41
if i’m
03:42
helping other people and i left my own
03:44
son um you know i’ve actually been
03:46
married for
03:47
for almost 30 years and uh my i have two
03:51
adult
03:52
grown children one once 25 once 28
03:56
so anyway uh you know i i find
04:00
you know with the internet there is a
04:03
you know the
04:04
internet can do a lot of good obviously
04:05
so you know as this
04:07
um my youtube channel has connected all
04:09
of us
04:10
um so there’s obviously some good things
04:12
that the internet can do but there’s
04:14
also some bad things that the internet
04:16
can do and so
04:17
um please you know when i was younger
04:20
some of the stuff that’s out there you
04:22
you know you had to make an effort to go
04:24
uh fill your mind with it but now
04:28
you you know it’s just one click away
04:30
and so i would encourage you to please
04:33
please think long and hard before you
04:35
you click on something that maybe you
04:37
shouldn’t
04:37
click you shouldn’t be clicking on um
04:39
and you know if you struggle with
04:40
something then get an accountability
04:42
partner so that you can
04:44
you know hold yourself accountable to
04:46
somebody because
04:47
you know yeah anyway i just think you
04:50
know if you fill your head with
04:51
with garbage you’re going to put garbage
04:53
in and garbage is going to come back out
04:54
so i would encourage
04:56
you to um yeah
04:59
to protect your mind right and only
05:01
allow
05:02
good things to come in right some things
05:04
you can’t avoid but
05:06
others you can and please i think that
05:08
takes integrity and grit
05:10
to do that uh you know
05:13
again speaking of legacy you know i it
05:15
wasn’t that long ago that i was
05:17
holding my baby daughter at the hospital
05:20
and now she’s out of the house right um
05:23
her and my son are out of the house
05:25
right so um you know it goes by in a in
05:27
the blink of an eye so
05:29
you know the days can be tough there’s
05:31
tough you know we all we all have tough
05:33
days
05:34
too but think long and hard about the
05:36
legacy that you want to leave
05:38
um you know i said i get comment after
05:41
comment of absent
05:42
absent fathers so please please think
05:46
about
05:47
your you know the long term effects of
05:49
your
05:50
decisions um and if you were one of
05:53
those
05:53
that was left don’t repeat it you know
05:56
let’s
05:57
um let’s all do better right let’s uh
05:59
break the cycle and do better
06:02
um i do have an example of integrity too
06:04
my my son-in-law ryan
06:06
um he’ll probably be embarrassed by me
06:08
sharing this but
06:09
it’s uh it’s such a powerful story i
06:12
think
06:12
that i want to share with you he uh when
06:15
he met my daughter in college um
06:18
he felt the like the right thing to do
06:21
was to call me
06:22
um and ask if he could date my daughter
06:26
he wasn’t asking for him in marriage
06:27
anything he just wanted to date her um
06:30
takes great integrity you know he just
06:32
called me and he set up a lunch date
06:35
and we um he met me for lunch and uh
06:38
you know i’m a fairly big guy i’m six
06:39
three two
06:41
do i tell you how much probably not i’ll
06:44
leave that out that’s a
06:45
necessary uh um statistic
06:48
i guess so um but anyway so i’m a pretty
06:50
big guy right and so
06:51
i show up and he he’s shaking in his
06:54
boots when he sees me so
06:56
um another reason to love him you know
06:58
but he did it because he felt like it
07:00
was the right thing to do
07:01
that’s a man of honor right we want to
07:04
be known
07:05
as men and women of honor
07:09
a couple other nuggets before i close
07:11
you know do a good job even when your
07:13
boss isn’t around
07:15
you need that for your own um self so
07:17
that you when you
07:18
go to bed at night you can you sleep
07:21
well right yeah
07:22
you don’t necessarily uh you’re not
07:25
necessarily doing it for him but you’re
07:26
doing it because
07:27
for your own integrity uh you know when
07:30
you make a vow
07:31
um we need to take our vows seriously
07:34
when you say you’re gonna do something
07:35
you need to do it your word means
07:36
something
07:37
uh you know it’s better to actually not
07:39
even vow rather than
07:41
vow and not do it right so
07:46
uh you know men i
07:49
shared this in my instagram interview
07:51
with my daughter you know men
07:52
we as men we tend to run after shiny
07:55
shiny objects
07:56
and i just say it that way because it
07:58
can me it can you know
08:00
there’s a lot of things you could uh
08:04
that to help you you know to understand
08:07
what that means
08:08
you know what i’m talking about right i
08:09
mean there’s lots of lots of different
08:11
things we can run after
08:12
uh i won’t go to some some of the areas
08:14
but one i would think of is
08:15
one that kind of comes to my mind is
08:17
golf you know when uh
08:19
when i was younger i remember getting
08:20
into golf a little bit my kids were
08:22
fairly young and you know not that
08:25
golf’s a bad thing by any means no golf
08:27
golf is fine but there’s a reason why
08:28
there’s
08:29
the term golf widow because you know if
08:32
you’re spending all your time
08:33
you know chasing after that dream of
08:35
becoming this great golfer
08:37
and you’re trying and you’re raising
08:38
kids and you should be spending time
08:40
with your kids you know
08:41
choose the better one which is spending
08:43
time with your kids that window
08:44
of opportunity that you have with your
08:45
kids is so short
08:48
it’s over like that so you know
08:50
understand that
08:52
uh you know i get i get comment after
08:55
comment
08:55
of the hurt caused by absent fathers um
08:59
and i know this pain personally myself
09:01
um
09:02
right uh so please
09:06
please men understand the weight of your
09:08
decisions
09:09
um you know we need you uh
09:12
don’t you don’t take this lightly think
09:15
long term about
09:16
about your decisions um
09:19
and i’ll close with this you know
09:23
we need more than a few good men and
09:26
women
09:27
we need a world of good men and women
09:29
that are willing to do
09:30
the right thing even when it’s hard
09:34
even when it costs you something and yes
09:37
even when no one is looking i love you
09:41
i’m proud of you and god bless you
—
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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