daddy I’m a hooker. All things are spelled and grammerized as they were in the Google search. If you blog, chances are you pop up in some pretty weird searches. Now imagine what you pop up in when you have the word, “Sex” in the blog title. Then imagine also…
Reed My Writing
Jesus and the Tijuana hooker
How much is too much for good pussy? Let me be perfectly clear about one thing. I’m talking about a Guatemalan tailor named Jesus–not Jesus Christ. I’m sure the Lord would spend time with a Tijuana prostitute, but I have a hard time believing that the Son…
Subway and Double D’s
“Hey. How’s it goin?” Is rhetorical. We really don’t care. It’s 10:06 on Wednesday night and I’m sitting at the counter in my hovel with my laptop open, iTunes blaring Stricken by Disturbed through my headphones and with a Subway sandwich on my left side. At my right is a mostly-full Pacifico…
Wordless Wednesday–Christmas in October
This picture was taken October 1 at a J.C. Penney in Maryland.
Drama Queen’s first visit to the Scary Farm
The Halloween Haunt experience isn’t complete until someone goes to jail for being a dickwad. If you’ve lived in So. Cal for any length of time, you know that October means Knott’s Berry Farm’s Halloween Haunt is in full swing. I’ve been going to…
Friday’s Top Ten
Woof. Welcome to Friday’s Top Ten. I new idea I’m tinkering with. It’s pretty self-explanatory, actually. It’s Friday and I’m picking a top ten of something. Could be anything. Where will I go in this first post? I look no further than my MacBook Pro and iTunes. Today’s top…
The funniest radio moment. Ever.
This was so funny that I nearly crapped my pants on air. Seriously. For real. One of our favorite callers joined Wes and I Wednesday night as a guest. Who knew that Dick Booster was an author? He has two new books out. Somebody’s Daughter: A Guide To North American…
Update to the State of the State thingie; Or, Rex grossman is a pussy
I walked out of the bar and there is a minivan with a daycare ad and phone number #classy So, yesterday I probably depressed the shit out of you with the story of what’s going on in my life. I sincerely apologize, but I had to get that out. Kind of like the…
The State Of My State Of Being Address
I’m gonna keep looking for him and when I find him, I’ll let you know. My fellow Americans (Canadians, Aussies, Brits and other assorted Euros), I come to you today to lay out the state of my state of being. I know I can be an asshole at times, but…
The Colonel is a hypocrite (and possibly racist)
“…C’mon. Let’s go watch the Dukes of Hazzard.” Redneck Kentucky Senator The other day I’m sitting outside my office, enjoying a refreshing beverage (Dew) on a sunny day, when suddenly my phone vibrated. I looked to see what it was and noticed it was an E-mail from KFC. I’m…
Wordless Wednesday–Homemade yogurt
At least it’s not Duff’s homemade yogurt. That would be nasty… P.S. Does anyone else think it’s funny that they put a chick in between Guy and Duff, then put “Guy’s back-to-school sandwich” on the cover? Is Food Network trying to appeal to a new audience?
One Headlight
So long ago, I don’t remember when That’s when they say I lost my only friend The Wallflowers You know who are defined by their boobs? Strippers and porn stars. And Real Housewives. It doesn’t matter if you have an amazing set of headlights or a tiny pair of titties; breast cancer can…
Light beer commercials are lame
“Stay thirsty, my friends.” The Most Interesting Man In The World Lets be honest, domestic light beers all basically taste the same. It doesn’t matter if it’s Coors Light, Miller Lite or Bud Light, you’re pretty much getting the same crappy taste for the same low price. As I heard Adam…
Up All Night
Let me get this straight, do you want me here? As I struggle through each and every year. And all these demons, they keep me up all night. Blink 182 Yeah. I’m a day late for Music Monday, but I had to share my Raiders post on Monday for Monday Night Football. My…
Why I hate the Broncos: Or, Tim Tebow is a douche
As I said on the radio (more than once), “I can’t wait for the day Tim Tebow gets busted in the back seat of a VW with a transvestite hooker.” Me The opening week of the NFL finishes as it should, with the Raiders traveling to Mile High to play the Denver F’ing Broncos. …
I want Schweddy balls in my mouth
I can’t resist Pete Schweddy’s balls. Yesterday I found out that one of my all time fav SNL skits is getting their own flavah of Ben & Jerry’s. The dudes who brought you Chery Garcia, Phish Food and Magic Brownies, now brings us Schweddy Balls ice cream. In case you don’t know what the…