I’m in my 40’s, divorced and have dabbled in online dating off and on since my ex and I split 4 years ago.
In the last 4 years, I’ve noticed a trend in men’s online dating profiles. I’ve tried most dating sites and I see the same pattern in them all; Match.com, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish and Ok Cupid.
If men want a woman worth her salt to notice them they have to stop completing their online profile as they currently have been.
This is a recommendation for all the men out there in the online dating world. If you want a woman to take you seriously please don’t do the following.
- DO NOT Post a single picture of yourself. We all have that one picture that makes us look like a supermodel. It may be so good that it really doesn’t even look like us.
- Do This: Post at least 5 different, recent pictures of you. We want to see the entire package from head to toe. Make sure to add some full body pictures in there too.
- DO NOT post a picture from 20 years ago. In the age where almost everyone owns a cell phone, there should be zero reasons why you can’t post multiple, recent pictures of yourself. And if you’re in the minority of folks that don’t own a smartphone, then get a friend who has one to take some pictures. While on the topic of pictures, do not post a picture from 20 years ago when you were the college basketball star. That does nothing for us, zilch. I don’t care if you could have been Brad Pitt’s twin back then. We want to know what you look like NOW.
- Do This: Think of online dating as selling yourself. If we move to the next step and make plans to meet, we better be able to recognize you. Post pictures that are recent and that actually look like you do NOW.
- DO NOT Post multiple pictures of everything but you. We don’t need to see pictures of a nice sunset, the ocean, your dog, or food. You’re on a dating site. We only want to see pictures if you’re in them. And no, a picture of you far away in the distance behind a boat wakeboarding will not suffice.
- Do This: Post pictures of you doing what you love. Post a picture at a friend’s birthday party, hiking in the mountains, walking on the beach. Scenery pictures are great as long as you’re in them too.
- Do NOT post the neck down pic. This usually means you’re married. That is not what the majority of us are looking for.
- Do This: If you are in fact married, at the very least be open about it in your profile. Better yet, hop on over to a website that caters to people that are looking to have an affair.
- DO NOT lie. Period. Why start off with a lie? Many of us have been burned in the past by ex’s that have either been cheaters, liars or both. If your profile states you’re 45 and 6’0 and when we meet you you’re 50 and 5’9”? First impressions are everything and if you start off with dishonesty, the relationship won’t go very far. You need to be honest from the get-go. If a woman doesn’t want to date a 50 year 5’9’ man, then she’s not the one for you anyway.
- Do THIS: We are more impressed by your honesty and authenticity than listening to your sales pitch full of lies. Come on, I am not trying to buy a used car from you. Bragging is a huge turn-off. You are just trying to impress me but bragging indicates you are insecure. You being comfortable in your own skin makes you very attractive. Women love real and authentic.
- You want kids “someday” and you are over the age of 50. Really?? What in the hell are you waiting for? Are you holding out until the social security checks come rolling in? There is no bigger turn off to a woman in her mid-40’s + to see this in an online profile. Most of us already have kids or decided long ago we didn’t want them. We’re not holding out for “someday.” That ship has sailed buddy.
- The age range of women you’re interested in is from 20-75. Do you know what that says? You are desperate and don’t have a lot to bring to the table. If you’re 45 and would date a 20-year-old, that tells me you’re a pervert or really dumb.
- Do This: Really think about what you want in a relationship and set realistic expectations. If you’re in your mid 40’s and don’t want kids, I don’t recommend putting down that you’ll date a 25-year-old. 38-50 sounds more reasonable and says to me that you’re taking dating more serious than just wanting a fling.
At the end of the day, most of us dipping our toe in the online dating waters want something real. We want a partner to share the second half of our life with. We don’t want to play games or have our mind messed with. I don’t even need the stomach turning, heart palpitations you get with the ZSA ZSA. I want someone I can talk to, someone with good values and morals, is honest and that I’m attracted to. When I see my list, the traits look so obvious. I couldn’t help but wonder why then is it so hard to find a man that exudes them?
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