Andrew Smiler considers several reasons why violent people are more likely to be male than female.
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Ray Rice cold-cocked his then-fiancée and now wife. It’s the latest episode of male violence in the news. Calling it “male violence” isn’t quite right because most men are not violent. Labeling it that way makes some guys defensive and prompts them to say things like #notallmen.
Instead of asking “why are men violent?”, we need to ask a different, better question “why are most violent people male?” And I mean violence in general, not only domestic or “interpersonal” violence. In the tragic shootings of Mike Brown and Trayvon Martin, the shooters were men. Almost all school shooters have been boys. Department of Justice statistics tell us approximately 90% of homicides are committed by men. Ninety percent. That’s not even close to gender parity. (I note that 75% of victims are also male, but that’s a different discussion.)
Instead of asking “why are men violent?”, we need to ask a different, better question “why are most violent people male?”
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Suicide can also be considered a form of violence, except the target is the self instead of another. As we were reminded after Robin Williams’ suicide, men are less likely to attempt to suicide, but they’re more lethal. Their lethality is due to choice of method: men are much more likely to shoot themselves than overdose, a much more explicitly violent choice.
So what gives? Why are the violent people so much more likely to be male? There are several possible explanations.
The Y chromosome. Approximately half the population has a Y chromosome, but only a minority of those people are violent, so that doesn’t explain it.
Testosterone. That’s even less likely. All humans produce testosterone, and the amount increases when our “fight or flight” response is triggered. But that’s a response to a situation, not a cause. It’s certainly true that the average (post-pubertal) male has more testosterone in his system at any given moment than the average female, but that doesn’t tell us why some men are violent any more than having a Y chromosome tells us who will be violent.
Video Games. First, let me refine that as violent video games. I don’t think anyone is worried about Farmville or the Sims. Again, that can’t be the whole story. When Halo 4 was released in 2012, it sold more than 3 million copies on its first day; the Halo franchise has sold more than 50 million games total. Even if “only” 10 million people are responsible for those sales figures, that’s still way more people playing violent video games than committing violent crimes.
The research team found that teen boys who consistently chose violent content across a variety of media formats and maintained these preferences across multiple years were more likely to be violent.
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TV & Movies. Same logic here as for video games. The content is a mixed bag and way more people watch than commit violence.
Media, selectively: Even though I’ve ruled out video games and TV & movies broadly, we know that people make choices about what they see on screen. The research team of Laura Friedlander, Jennifer Connolly, Debra Pepler, and Wendy Craig found that viewing violence in any single format didn’t predict being violent, but teen boys who consistently chose violent content across a variety of media formats and maintained these preferences across multiple years were much more likely to be violent.
Masculinity: That depends on how you define masculinity, of course. If it’s about being a gentleman or a nice guy, that seems unlikely to contribute to the violence. If you define masculinity in terms of power, dominance, and violence – patriarchal masculinity – then yeah, duh. But it turns out that most guys don’t really buy in to that stereotype of masculinity and even fewer try to live it out.
Anger. People are more likely to become violent when they’re angry. There’s a reason Bruce Banner/Hulk says “Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” and not “Don’t make me sad, you wouldn’t like me when I’m sad.” We also know parents don’t talk about emotions with boys nearly as much as they do with girls, so boys gain less insight into their feelings. And that reflects our culture, which discourages boys and men from showing feelings because feelings are, well, girly. The result is that boys and men learn relatively few ways to handle their angry feelings. One of the lessons guys do learn is “don’t get mad, get even,” which is permission to be violent.
Social Support: What you do when you’re feeling down in the dumps depends a lot on whether you’re male or female. We teach guys to solve problems – especially personal problems – by themselves. Sure, he can get a little input from his friends at first, but if he continues to feel bad after more than a few days, we start to lose patience with him and ask him why he can’t get over it already. Even if he doesn’t fit the manbox, we subtly – or not so subtly – try to put him in there.
Violence works. Although I am not a fan of “the ends justify the means,” I know violence can be effective for getting what you want. Boys learn that lesson early and repeatedly. Bullies understand it and many of them have experienced it as both aggressor and victim. It’s pretty clear that Robin Williams wanted to be dead, George Zimmerman wanted Trayvon Martin to stop, and Darren Wilson wanted Mike Brown to not run away. Most, if not all school shooters, as well as the Isla Vista shooter, wanted revenge against people who (they thought) wronged them. On some level, those guys got what they wanted, although I’m pretty sure that Zimmerman and Wilson got much more than they desired.
If we really want to stop the violence, we need to focus on the male-dominated minority of folks who are violent and understand how different factors work together to lead them down a violent path.
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By themselves, no one of these reasons is sufficient to explain why violent people are more likely to be men than women. But when we start to put them all together, we get a better sense of why the group “male” has more violent members than the group “female.” If we really want to stop the violence, we need to focus on the male-dominated minority of folks who are violent and understand how different factors work together to lead them down a violent path.
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Well that’s an interesting question? If you’re talking about the quality of violence vs quantity of violence you’d have two different results based on the moral values we place on those crimes according to sex. I haven’t heard multiple stories, in the west, of men that chop of the there SO boob and put it down a garbage disposal.
Great article..I have also been wondering about the enjoyment of torturing animal, most often done by men. It is often a form of sport which seems to have little to do with gaining access to power in the greater society. A lot of animal cruelty is from unconsciousness, but much is also deliberately done for entertainment and creates a sense of camaraderie in the perversion.
whatever the CAUSE, which are most likely CAUSES, plural, here are some suggestions:
1. stop male circumcision
2. promote plant-rich/healthy diet
3. promote sex-positive education (not shame-based, religious)
4. stop corporeal punishment
4. nature time/outdoor play in lieu of video game time
5. allow male emotions/affection
6. sports coaches promote sportsmanship
7. combat bullying
8. allow gender-bending with play activities
9. remove chronic boredom from classrooms
10. involve children in charity work
“men are view(ed) as being weak when they let women hit them and get away with it”
Nope, I would say the majority of people in civilised societies would think the male was very strong for showing such great self control. That’s an indication of a very strong mind and a man like that you can be guaranteed would go far in life.
Same problems in the USA where police officers are not arresting women for throwing the first punch. Of course, there is cultural attitude where men are told and taught never to hit women even if a woman hit you first and men are view as being weak when they let women hit them and get away with it.
In 1990 they started a government study in the UK. This went along with a change in philosophy when it came to women and crime. They started to pressure the police to investigate female violence the same way they investigate male violence. For the next ten years, female violence over shadowed male violence. Women still were not arrested, but polls showed women to be more aggressive then males and more likely to assault someone. As of today, 40% of violence in the UK is instigated by females. In 2000, 67% was by females. Women in the UK were actually more… Read more »
jbeme
I would like to read about what you refer to here. But I am not able find the facts you refer to.
May I ask for a link?
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/09/violent-against-women-massively-understated-statistics-agency-told
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-are-more-violent-says-study-622388.html
maybe we should define what kind of violence we talk about here?
What kind of violence?
“men proved more likely than women to INJURE their partner”. This was in 2000 in UK.
So I question your statement that ” women were more violent than men”.
and here is more:
Women are three times more likely to be arrested for domestic abuse than men are.
The Guardian:
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2009/aug/28/women-arrested-domestic-violence
yes unseen violence should be addressed..but polls are not a real measure of statists…Men create weapons and fight wars…maybe thinking they are helping their societies…but men most often are most involved torture and rape…Although there are women involved in such things also…it’s often following men’s lead.
Overall a thoughtful article. And I like that it’s open ended rather than offering simplistic answers. That requires the reader to think. But I do have a question about this quote: “men are less likely to attempt to suicide, but they’re more lethal…due to choice of method” Why do men use more lethal methods? Of course, that’s what you’re exploring. Regarding suicide, however, I think men are less likely to attempt it because an attempt often shows that you don’t want to die, and you think people will listen to you (having shown how serious your distress is). In my… Read more »
A question to answer a question. Why do women get more compassion in general in Western Society?
Archy I am not so sure this is the case 🙂 Who do you mean give compassion and women and ignore men? And in what kind of lifesituations? Who turn away from men ? Friends? Family members? Neigbours? The government? Strangers in the street? The church? The health care people ? Therapy? Policy makers ? I have never been in a mans shooes and needed compassion as a man so I do not know what life is like for men in need of help and compassion Archy. My experience is that I had to ask for any help I need,and… Read more »
If men are violent, it is because society taught them to be that way. Threats of physical violence and acts of mental intimation like threatening them with the loss of their jobs and the use of fear have been instilled in men in order to make them become obedient and the end result is that these very same men are taught to use violent (both physical and mental) techniques on their kids and their kids pick up on these bad habits as well so there is a continuing cycle of never ending violence. Yes female violence on the emotional level… Read more »
My wife was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after we had been married for 20 years. This was 2 years ago and since then I have found 3 men I knew before the diagnosis whose wives (or exes) are undiagnosed borderlines.
Female violence is simply different from male. It is generally emotional violence. But as I can attest, this can still be quite damaging
Hi Andrew You ask interesting questions. Where I live, we ask “why all this violence in America?”. You ask are the most violent persons male? Well they are not always male,they can be a women and in those cases she often get a diagnoses like for example borderline personality disorder. Anders Behring Breivik was diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder. Do we have more men than women with personality disorders of the kind that can be very violent? I like Gottman and how he writes about marriage. In one of his articles he say men get aroused faster than women, and… Read more »
Gottman did not talk about sexual arousal .
If you buy ev psych, violence is built in. Robert Ardrey’s “African Genesis” is dated as to paleoanthropology and some of his conclusions which depend on relationships between one hominin variant and another may no longer be valid. But it’s a fascinating book nevertheless. Has to do with humans and violence. If circumcision causes or increases one’s propensity toward violence,we have to look at societies which don’t practice it–Germany?–versus those which do. And since female genital mutilation happens shortly before puberty,not at the age of a couple of days, presumably the effect would be even worse. So where are the… Read more »
You just have to look at the effect castration has on a dog to know that testosterone plays a part in aggressive behaviour. Basically a dog with his balls removed is a much more pleasant member of society.
Respectfully, Human beings are not dogs; nor animals that cannot possibly fathom that they even have something called endocrine system, let alone understanding the deeper workings & mechanics of it: Show me a dog that’s ever written a biology textbook. Now, I grant it that human beings are not immune from the influences of hormones and other rudimentary stimuli, bit neither are we beholden or enslaved to the vagaries of them, as are wild & domesticated animals. We are the creators of infinitely complex art, science, and philosophy; we have already achieved a profound understanding of ourselves and the universe,… Read more »
I agree with you Roger.
Of course dog might not have that discriminative power or power to control over one’s emotions or drives like human beings have but not all use them and still remains slaves of their lower instincts and some men have remained me about dogs so much that this testosterone is for sure part of the reason why some men are more aggressive than women.
“Violence is effective for getting what you want…” I still play that breakup scene over and one run my head…what could I have done differently…what could I have said….it took a long time to stop blaming myself for what happened….I told him to just stay away…that I wanted to break it off….he drove 2 hours to come to where I was staying…when I answered the door, he seemed so quiet and sad that I did not suspect the rage and bubbling violent impulses underneath…. It was like he could not stop…or control himself….and yet he could control himself if he… Read more »
I agree with much of this, but the logic behind the Y chromosome point is nonexistent. Consider this statement: “Planes only crash if they take off. However, since most planes that take off do not crash, crashing cannot have anything to do with taking off.”
If anyone’s interested, I’ve written a couple of posts on this topic on my blog: Why Are Men Such Dicks? and Is Mascuinity Toxic?:
http://www.womanology.co.uk/folder/?p=1875
http://www.womanology.co.uk/folder/?p=1896
Hi Andy
Long time no see…..
You end your article with these words “Why are men such dicks? Because their fathers were dicks and someone shagged them…”
So men are violent pretty much because of everyone else but themselves. It’s everyone else’s fault but men’s.
So you clearly no nothing about violence and the spread of violence.
Thanks for your input.
Much to unpack. First, we need to get a sense of what violence is. Are men more violent or is the violence that they commit more noticeable / extreme. Like you pointed out women attempt suicide more often. Is attempting to take your life using pills less violent than using a gun or is it just less messy? It’s less effective, but does that make it non-violent? From what I’ve seen men participate in combat sports to a much greater degree than do women. This isn’t classified as violence because it’s controlled and agreed upon and because it’s undertaken by… Read more »
John
I my country corporal punishment is against the law.
Is it permitted in the U.S. today?
My ex told me a long time ago that while in Jesuit school, a priest/teacher punched him in the head for talking while standing on line…I was shocked to hear that…but perhaps that was the norm back then in that setting….
He used to brag about getting into bar fights with other guys…as if I would find that impressive that he tried to beat up drunk guys who were bigger than him….
Leia. I had the same experience of violence from teachers as your husband, but they were all female acts of violence and assaults on my person.. I was never slapped in the face of even hit by a male school authority, but I faced constant violence from women. Yes, I did harbor thoughts of revenge for many years. I remember having a woman teacher slap me so hard on both sides of my face simultaneously that my ears rang. No male teacher ever assaulted me in this manner. In fact, in my family the whippings, slappings and punches were almost… Read more »
Additionally (male) violence is born of control and the assumption that individuals rights are more important than anyone elses. It is in defending that position of control and power that most violence occurs. Teach empathy to children through demonstration and stop feeding egos that they deserve things because of they exist on the planet, things that must be worked for and you’ve created a change in attitude. We are at an alltime high of violent incidents in the history of this country for one reason. Entitlement.
Actually, violence has dropped pretty consistently for the last forty years
It might also help if we (a collective we) stop taking advantage of male aggression when it suits us.
If Rice had maliciously attacked someone on the field he most likely wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near this level of punishment.
Check your facts. Most male violence which results in death is against females, not other males. DV homicides far outnumber school shooting victims. In this country 3-4 women a day. That’s 1400-1500 per year. Add in those women who are subjected to abuse but don’t die and it goes into millions, per CDC.
@Shamless Liars (fixed that for you),
If women are the majority of victims of male murders, who is it exactly killing men then seeing as the CDC will also tell you that 75% of murder victims are male?
Andrew, thanks for some important and challenging questions and ideas. Clearly there are multiple factors that cause males (or females) to become violent. From my experience as a therapist for more than 40 years and from working with violent men both in prison and in domestic violence programs for many years, I would suggest another area for consideration. I have never seen an act of violence that when examined in detail didn’t take us back to earlier experiences where the men were subjected to violence at some earlier time in their lives. Violence I’ve found is a response to the… Read more »
Good point. For many baby boys in North America and probably all in Israel their first introduction to the world involves a knife or some other bizarre tool to modify his body. Maybe the pain and trauma does have long term implications. It would be an interesting study to see if a correlation can be reached.
TOUCHE!
Andrew said: “Instead of asking ‘why are men violent?’, we need to ask a different, better question ‘why are most violent people male?'”
Despite the slight change in phrasing here, think that this is still only looking at an incomplete part of the picture of the violent, and the wrong part of it at that- However it’s phrased, it is still suggesting that gender itself is the prime factor. It would be more fruitful to examine the deeper commonalities the violent share (both men and women) in addition to, or irrespective of, gender.
My apologies. I forgot to thank the OP.
Also, I should have typed “nature and nurture,” not “nature and nurture.”
I will plagiarize myself and add a comment from a few days ago specifically about the Rice family violence. Most human activities occur because of a combination of nature and nature. However, instilling violence in boys isn’t nurturing, it’s indoctrination. The great majority of violent acts perpetrated by men are the end results of violence already perpetrated on him or the boy he used to be.And that includes the psychological violence of indoctrination. We sow the seeds of violence in boys, cheer it on, and later, we reap the results of violent acts by some of the men those boys… Read more »
Men are raised to walk a tight rope of “be violent when it suits us” and “don’t be violent when it suits us”. However despite having that drilled into our heads we rarely taught the nuances of violence, probably because they are considered to hinder that violent potential that can be so useful. A lot of people will say it doesn’t matter but I’m gonna say it. If you look at Ray Rice and Chris Brown and what they did one thing that is quickly ignored is that in those events they were hit first. And by all that is… Read more »
I wanted to highlight one particular sentence Danny wrote above, and question how it might be relevant to this discussion and the Rice affair. Danny writes, “What I’m saying is that they need to learn that retaliating to the extreme is not the way to respond when someone comes at you.” Seems a very reasonable thing to think. However, why does it seem that police and military are trained to respond to any threatening situation with overwhelming, if not lethal, force? I don’t mention this to pick on officers or service personnel, but to point out how this idea is… Read more »
Presuming Rice felt he was defending himself, was he thinking that it was better to use overwhelming force to end this situation, rather than risk prolonging it? Was he thinking anything at all, for that matter? Was his response instinctual or reflexive? How might a “trained” individual have dealt with the Rice altercation? Good questions Jason (good questions that will likely be ignored in favor of just dumping on him). With his extensive history of football I’d bet instinct took over. A trained person (like cop or military) would have likely subdued her. But as we can see not everyone… Read more »
Look at stand you ground laws in the USA to see it outside the military.
If a person physically attacks you then you want to stop them from harming you and prevent them from coming back either by killing them in extreme situations or beating them so bad that they think twice and think hard before doing it ever again.
Women for many years have played on female privilege to hit men and get away with it but times are changing more and more.
Female privilege? You need some sense of proportions
@ Danny You see what she did to him doesn’t justify what he did to her, but what he did to her justifies what she did to him. This is the position must people seem to take with reciprocal violence. Because the violence that she commits is washed, it looks like only or mostly men commit violence. The question is this. Let’s assume that we’re looking in the wrong spot. Violence isn’t a male issue, but an issue of people. How might that influence the way we approach it? I suspect that it would cause society to approach things from… Read more »
You see what she did to him doesn’t justify what he did to her, but what he did to her justifies what she did to him. This is the position must people seem to take with reciprocal violence. Because the violence that she commits is washed, it looks like only or mostly men commit violence. That’s probably the outlook a lot of people have on this situation. It doesn’t matter than she hit first because he is a man. That’s pretty grim. The question is this. Let’s assume that we’re looking in the wrong spot. Violence isn’t a male issue,… Read more »
There is nothing wrong with hotting a person who has hit you its called self defense. Also men and boy’s have codes of conduct that go beyond laws. A guy can get his ass kicked up and down the street by another guy but as long as he has a go that is all that matters as the next day he can walk or limp back out into the community or the local bar and still be respected as a man who fought and stood up for himself. Getting b eat aint nothing because even the champ gets beat eventually… Read more »
I wouldn’t use Ray as an example, considering the first violence could have been from HER (although he may have spat on her, so jury is out on that one). Men learn early on that they have far less protection than women and have to go get things for themselves. Resources are collected by men mostly to share with the family, men even today still face the majority of earning the resources to pay for their family. Males are pushed to be the earners but not everyone gets a good career, some turn to crime to help earn the resources… Read more »