These words completely poison online discourse, and destroy the credibility of the person using them. Cut it out.
I’ve been online since 1993. I’ve seen the best and the worst of the internet, and innumerable arguments on every subject under the sun. I’ve seen some argument tactics fall out of favor, from gratuitous Nazi comparisons to the venerable “lurkers support me in email”, though both linger on well past their expiration dates. There is, however, a continuing strain of ugliness I see used all the time, even among people who damned well ought to know better, and it is long past time this nonsense was exposed for what it is.
I never want to see anyone use the following words or phrases in an online argument again, period.
- Slut
- Fat
- Ugly
- Neckbeard
- Virgin
- Hairy
- Mom’s Basement
- Cheetos
- Loser
- Cunt
- Gross
- [any questioning of a person’s sexuality]
What sets these pointless, stupid slurs apart is that they do not, indeed they cannot, have any bearing on any point anyone could conceivably be making about anything. They are the definition of that oft-abused phrase, argumentum ad hominem: they say nothing about the person’s point or argument, merely attempting to cast the arguer as in some way undesirable, usually physically.
More than that, these are bully words. They’re something insecure eighth-graders call slightly more insecure eighth-graders in an attempt to make them cry. They are that level of maturity, and if you’re using them, that’s what you’ve become. A pubescent bully whose response to something you don’t like is “Well… you’re ugly!” Is that what you want to see when you look in the mirror?
And nobody’s interested in your defense that oh, you only use those words to refer to those bad people. If they’re that bad, you should be able to say so without cheap junior high school cracks. If you can’t do that, then maybe you need to rethink some things.
Likewise, if your visceral reaction to this list is “Awwww, someone doesn’t like getting called names!” I want you to do the following: say that out loud. With the proper inflection and everything. Take a good listen to what you sound like. Ask whether that’s who you really want to be, as a human being. If it is, well, this would probably be a good time to start being ashamed of yourself.
Spread the word. Anyone who uses any of these phrases or concepts in an argument is just a bully. No matter how good their intentions or their cause, they are just bullying. Maybe you’ve done it yourself in the past; I’m pretty sure I have. We all make mistakes, but the mark of an adult is that when someone points out a mistake, you stop making it. Start pointing this one out, because it hasn’t been okay for a long time.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
I like “cunt.” Hate “pussy’ (a porn word.)
Privilege
Slur
Cis (what does this mean anyway?)
Perv
Creep
Skeev
whitemale (this isn’t German)
Sensitive
Offended
Offensive
Uncomfortable
Hows about we also add
Misogynist
Patriarchy
Creep
“Nice Guy”
privilege
Yes, let’s get rid of creep! No self-respecting, heterosexual man should ever use the word “creep” to describe a man trying to hit on a woman.
Funny, I hardly ever hear “creep” used in a purely derogatory manner by men. At least not with as huge visibility as others.
How about you add racial slurs?
I dont know how you missed that one.
It time we all started asking a simple question. What am I creating in the world? If its hate, then maybe we need to get some help healing ourselves.
Mark: What is the context for that comment
Also “dudebro”. It is a stupid word.
I find it funny how it’s ok to shame men speaking up for their rights as ugly basement dwelling virgin neckbeard dudebros TROLOLOL, but calling a feminist an ugly lesbian who can’t get laid is HATE!
Retard and all its variations ought to go up there too. I’m sick to death of hearing it.
I would add misogynist to this list as well, it is almost always used to shut down conversation.
I second this… It is used allot in the context of the subjects of this site. Almost always by someone who dose not know what it means and thinks it is a synonym for sexism.
Also, attacking peoples grammar/syntax/punctuation. Always used as an insult to try and show how much “cleverer” the poster is rather than a genuine attempt to help.
Let’s see:
Misogynist
Rape Culture
Patriarchy
non-apology apology
Privilege
Dudebro
I’m sure there are more, but these are just as dangerous as the initial list.