Mike Berry asks everyone to suspend judgment and think about how hard it is to parent an active four-year-old child.
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This past Saturday, in Cincinnati, Ohio, as many were enjoying an extended weekend with a trip to the zoo, time suddenly stood still, when a four-year old boy crawled over a barrier and plunged 15 feet into the moat of the Gorilla exhibit. The screams and gasps of the crowd caught the attention of 450 lb. male gorilla Harambe, who was resting in a cave nearby. He quickly moved in on the child.
As a parent, my heart nearly stopped as I scrolled through trending topics on Facebook and caught the headline. I instantly pictured each of my children by face as I thought about this young child’s mother, helplessly watching her son being tossed, grabbed, and dragged by the massive silverback gorilla.
The video was almost too much to stomach. There were moments when the gorilla seemed to stand guard over the child, protecting him from the jeering crowd above. The momentary confidence this gave onlookers quickly disappeared when the animal dragged the four-year old through the water of the moat as if he were a play toy.
The end result was a move to put the animal down. A decision confirmed and agreed upon by many zoological experts, including Jack Hanna from the Columbus Zoo. Thane Maynard, director of The Cincinnati Zoo, went as far as to acknowledge that if the situation arose again, he would make the same decision. Human life always takes precedent over the life of an animal, regardless of the situation.
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I’m an animal lover. I think wildlife is a vital part of the landscape of our world. But I agree with the zoo’s decision to put Harambe down. The evidence on the video confirms what many believed: This boy’s life would have ended at some point had the Dangerous Animal Response Team not made the decision to end the life of the animal.
What piqued my attention, however, was not the outpouring of anger from animal rights organizations, but rather the criticism of both the mother of this young boy, and The Cincinnati Zoo. Many turned to Twitter and Facebook to express their belief that the boy’s mother, Michelle Gregg, should face criminal charges. Others have said the zoo should press charges. As for the zoo itself, media representatives at yesterday’s press conference in Cincinnati questioned Maynard on the safety of the barriers at the gorilla exhibit. One reporter even asked how a child that young could make it into an exhibit.
My response, as the parent of six active children who were all once four years old ….
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“Have you ever parented a four-year old?”
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“Have you ever parented a four-year old?”
When my son, who is now 13, was just two years old, my wife was playing with him in our home office. We live in a 100-year old home with nine-foot high walls throughout. Lining the east wall of our home office is a set of book shelves from floor to ceiling. As my wife turned for a second to pick up another two books to read to him, he quickly scampered up the book shelf. When she turned around, he was one shelf away from the top. Then, when he was four, she had him at a neighbor’s house with her when she suddenly couldn’t find him. Before he wandered out to the middle of a busy road she pulled him back in. The entire incident took less than a minute to unfold. I watched him climb the side of a full-sized van (standing over seven feet high) at age five. Needless to say, our child was, and still is, active. He was always moving as a little boy. And we were diligent in keeping our eye on him. If you know us, you know we are borderline helicopter parents. We struggle with letting our teenagers ride their bikes around the block without us watching. This was exponentially greater when they were younger.
Parenting a four-year old, especially an active one, is hard work. Even the most diligent parent has their hands full. Plus, children are driven. They want what they want and often, they’ll ignore their parents instructions and go get it. On Saturday, one witness, heard the boy tell his mom, “I want to swim with the gorilla.” She said the mother replied, “No you’re not!” In a flash, he was in the exhibit. Another onlooker was quoted as saying, “He crawled so fast, my husband and I couldn’t catch him.” Take four-year old curiosity and multiply that by a ton of energy and you’ve got yourself a recipe for the incident that happened at the Cincinnati Zoo.
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There’s not a barrier on earth that we could not overcome, or at least attempt to, if we put our mind to it. Even for a child.
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As Maynard explained during yesterday’s press conference, The Cincinnati Zoo has been in existence for 143 years. In that time, they’ve never had an incident like the one that occurred on Saturday. The barriers around the exhibits are safe. I myself, remember, during my years as a child growing up in Cincinnati and visiting the zoo, how safe they were. But, as Maynard went on to say, “Anyone of us could cross any barrier if we wanted to.” There’s not a barrier on earth that we could not overcome, or at least attempt to, if we put our mind to it. Even for a child. I’m raising a child who has actively put his mind to doing just that many times in the past.
You can’t place the blame on a mother of an active four-year old, who was bound and determined to go exploring. Nor can you blame professional zoo keepers, or the boundaries that contain the animals. Mostly because, four-year-olds do these types of things. All the time, in fact. Maybe not to the degree that this four-year-old boy did on Saturday, but they do. Give me any four-year-old child, and I’ll give you a list of possibilities that are often out of the control of parents. As parents we do the best we can with our children. Sometimes, things happen and we are helpless to stop it. All we can do, when this happens, is react to the best of our ability.
Gregg shared on a now deleted Facebook post, “As a society we are quick to judge how a parent could take their eyes off of their child and if anyone knows me I keep a tight watch on my kids. Accidents happen.”
Truth.
Originally published on Babble
Photo—Jere Keys/Flickr
This is why leashes were invented, number one. Number two, there’s also the clear child abuse being committed by this not-entirely-effective mother babbling about how awesome “god” is for reaching down and protecting her son from the big, bad gorilla. Indubitably she’s crippling her son’s mind by filling his head with these kinds of religious delusions.
I don’t know how relevant this is, but I thought I’d bring it up in contrast. Many men are imprisoned every year for failure to pay child support. Some of them through no fault of their own like job loss, reduced hours, etc. Courts often times don’t care about their circumstance. You were supposed to pay. It was your responsibility to take care of your child. How many people would even ask what his circumstance was before condemning him? People make mistakes although I wonder why a mistake that could have resulted in the death or serious injury if your… Read more »
I raised 2 very active boys, one with ADHD… I was very busy while they were growing up.. So I made a safe place in my home and backyard to run and be boys.
While going out I was on the whole time, any distraction could hurt them, or someone could steal my child.
I only hear excuses in this column , I don’t see anyone taking responsibility or even a sorry.
Rather sad actually , although I am glad the boy is ok.
Yes accidents do happen, but even with accidents we need to acknowledge our part in it.
The mother isn’t being criticized because she messed up. We all do. It’s the extent and the fall out of the mess up that is drawing the attention.
Amazing is it not, Mike? I’m am a conservationist, and an animal rights activist (along with all the other craziness I’m involved it), and I too agree with you. Yes the animal is an endangered species, but so too is the entirety of the big five. We are losing 100 elephants a day. Yes, that’s per day, 36,000 a year to poaching. We lost 12,000 rhinos last year for their horns. They butcher them alive, leave them to die slow horrible deaths, all based on the ignorant assumption that the horn contains healing properties, cures erectile dysfunction while science has… Read more »
IMO, the only party that should have no blame is the person who had to put the animal down. The Zoo and the family have to take responsibility for what happen. Yes, I have had 2 four year old’s (boy and girl) and currently have 4 and 6 year old grandsons who are unbelievably more active then I remember my own kids being. We live in a society that we buy sun block that virtually eliminates exposure to the sun, lather kids up with sanitizers, have expiration dates on car seats yet we don’t hold parents responsible for things like… Read more »
Part two … wasn’t able to complete my thought . I recently went to the Brookfield Zoo in the Chicago area with my two grandsons, daughter and son-in-law. THere wasn’t an exhibit That I didn’t keep an extreme watchful eye on the both of them. They didn’t leave our sides but that’s not to say they were restricted in how and where they observed the animals. One of our jobs as parents is to assure a child safety. I look at devices we have safety today that we didn’t have 30+ years ago and our kids survived. We also didn’t… Read more »
my comment focused on the hypocisy surrounding the animal itself, but you gents have also raised some valid points. I tend to lean on the zoo. I mean, we put child proof caps on mouthwash, but we don’t child proof a gorilla cage? The public as come to expect a certain amount of protections, so I question why these are not implemented in this case. Even in my design work such protections for children are considered. Stairways are strictly regulated so as to prevent a 4″ orb from fitting through. The same applies to any type of railing. The parents… Read more »
As I understand it, it was a 3 foot high barrier. Shouldn’t that be sufficient to keep a 4 year old out assuming that the parent was paying attention? We don’t put fences on sidewalks to prevent small children from crossing in the middle of the street a much easier task than having a three foot tall child climb a three foot tall fence. We expect parents to supervise a child outside. I’m pretty sure the zoo wouldn’t have let the child in without being accompanied by an adult.